My husband have been in the military for 10 years now. I never got a chance to start my career, b/c we had kids back to back. I have 4 kids. He's a crew chief on F-15's and they work a flexible schedule that don't allow him to help with the kids. I'm from Shreveport, and I have been back/forth here now for the past three years, trying to figure out what to do. We were stationed in Alaska for 3 yrs., and I got pregnant with our last child. He had to go to Japan for 6 mos. so I decided to come home and have the baby. He left last Nov. and we got stationed in the worse place in the world...Mountain Home AFB, Idao. Its nothing there. We just knew once we left Alaska we would be able to come back somewhere close to home and feel more comfortable, and it would also give me a chance to get on my feet with family close by to help with the kids. I came back to Shreveport this time b/c Idaho was so depressing. It takes almost an hour to get to Boise just for entertainment. Everything is out there...I mean everything. There is nothing in Mountain Home, but a super wal-mart. There are no jobs, and only one college that is on base. We divorce and remarried because of how trapped I felt after it seem like he was going on with his career and all I had to do was be home with the kids. But we realize how much our family meant to us, so I gave it another try. But now that he is station there we are growing apart. I don't know what to do. I'm currently enrolled in an commerial college here, just to get something started, and I will be finished next month. Neither one of us want to let go, but its getting harder everyday being apart. Do anybody know how to put in for an hardship assignment or what advice can you give on how to deal with the situation. I love my family don't wanna let go.
As a Military wife, I do know what you are going thru, I do not know how to put in a hardship transfer , but Im sure Military Legal would know.
Stay strong.
I sure do know what your doing through. Even though, my husband and I have only been married 2 and 1/2 years, everyday seems to be harder and harder and not only on me, but on our son, who is 9, also. They say that military wifes are angels in disguise, they're not joking!
We married in March of 2004, he left for Iraq in Oct. '04, they returned in Sept.'05, then he left in Nov.'04 for Washington State to train soldiers that are about to go to Iraq, now he is in El Paso, Tx. and is about to go back to Washington. This is getting old and FAST! I think if we can make it this far that we can get through alot. Just hold on and pray!
I think your on the right track with the fact that you love your family and don't want to let go. I don't think that you really qualify for a hardship assignment though, but he needs to check into it where he is with his 1st Shirt. Plus have you been to family support on base? They are really a great bunch. There is also Military One Source: http://www.militaryonesource.com/skins/MOS/home.aspx (I think each of the branches also have a link.) They have a lot of resources there too. Plus I think it helps to have a lot of other military spouses around that you can talk to. Our squadron is doing the convoy deployments in Iraq and have been since the war started. We all lean on each other A LOT when they are gone. It's one of those things that no one understands until they have done it, so we help and support each other. This may sound elementary but I believe it to be true, push everything else aside, all the problems, the distance, even the kids in your head. Do you still love each other? If so, I believe that to be your answer.
The military can only come between your marriage if you let it. Life in the military is hard for everyone, and for many different reasons. I hate being away from my family and friends back home, and that will never change. However, we make our decisions together and we have chosen this life. If you have 10 years in, you are halfway to retirement. That is a lot to give up if you just walk away. As hard as some aspects of this life is, there are benefits that no civilian employer can compare to. Don't let go of your family. Unfortunately, spouses often feel like they take a back seat to military commitments, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you want to get a degree, you need to make that happen. I started taking classes at our previous base, and since our move I am finishing them online. Remember that there are lots of options out there, and it is up to you to inquire about them and then take advantage of them. Most of all, I have learned to appreciate what a hero my husband really is. I'm happy that he is doing something I can be really proud of, and I support him no matter where we are sent or what we have to deal with. He also supports me with the kids, going to school, etc. He can't always be here to help directly, but his emotional support makes all the difference. I hope things get better for you.
