Military Boy Missing His Deployed Daddy

You are right. It is tough and heart-wrenching. No doubt you miss your husband too. I agree with these other moms, videos and voice records help. Making things for Daddy can help too. If you plan to send care packages, let your son make pictures for Daddy or help with the shopping. Some bases have website options with recent pictures or web-cam availability. Also making a photo album of pictures with Daddy and Son doing things together. I even made an album that told the story, so it was a story book about what was going on at the time. You can also include Daddy in all prayer times, so before bed be sure to say a prayer for Daddy and at mealtimes, etc. Sometime Daddy can send a postcard with pictures of where he is or where he has been (based on the assignment of course). Also get in touch with the Chaplain, many Chaplains have resources to help these transitions go easier. I hope these suggestions help. I know you can make it through this tough time.

My husband has had his turn on deployments over the years, but only lasting 6-7 months at most. I don't understand why the Army has the ridiculously long deployments of a year! We're USMC. When my 12 year old son was 3 hubby created a video of himself reading books and doing letter and number flashcards and talking about things. This helped our son allot cuz it was directly focused on him, just for him. We called it The Daddy Movie. It was a lifesaver! He watched it allot. Daddy would say, "Go get your teddy so we can read The Lion King!" and he'd go run and get his teddy, lol. What I did with the triplets when he went to the sand box when they were infants was get one of those chewable books and put in pictures just of Daddy. May be too young for your son but certainly can be modified just for him, to look at photos of he and Daddy together. The other thing is to keep very busy, with the idea of being preoccupied. Maybe take pics and video for Daddy with him being the directer. Good luck! I know it's not easy!

I know what you have been going through. My husband has been gone a lot since my daughter was born 4 yrs ago. She doesn't understand why he has to go and why he can not come back every night. One idea that I suggest is something with daddy's voice. You can make them at Build A Bear or buy one of the little recording bears at the BX/PX. If you have a video camera, Take a video of Daddy while he is home..He could be reading a book, playing on the floor with your son, whatever. Play it whenever he is upset about Daddy being gone. It is hard for them to see Daddy leave, come back, and then again see Daddy leave. I can't say it has gotten easier yet, but my daughter knows that he will come back and I just keep her busy and answer any questions that she has. I hope this helps for you. Best Wishes

S.

Hi T.,
First of all, God bless your husband for his service & God bless you & your family. I was just wondering if you had any family, cousins, uncles, grampa's that could step in and spend some time w/your son. No one can take Daddy's place, but they can help fill the void. If not, what about lot's of playdates w/friends? Good luck.
M.

hi T.,

Thank you and your family for being there and sacraficing for the freedom of our country. From my family to your we thank you and appreciate all your sacrafices and efforts. I was going to suggest something another person had already suggested. That is to video tape your husband reading with your children and doing fun things with them and then you can ask him if he wants a story from his dad when he is sad. Also , video your children doing fun things while your husband is away and get them excited to show him when he returns. this will maybe help to make time go by faster. Maybe keep a special calander to mark the day when he returns and cross off each day that goes by until he gets home. If your planning a special return party for your husband , have the kids participate in the party planning so they can see that daddy will be returning and they will be excited for the party. Maybe have your husband "give" your child a special gift to take care of "for him" while he is away, (like a hamster, fish, or a plant) I'm thinking of something that you child would have to do something daily to "help" out his daddy, like feeding the animal or watering the plant. That way each day he has the reminder that he is doing something for his dad. This could be the fun thing that you could video tape to show how much he helped. I hope that maybe some of these ideas could be helpfull to you and your family. I wish you all the strength anf support.

Is there a way to video tape your husband reading him stories, lots of them, that when he misses him he can have a story read to him. It's not as good as having him there, but it might bring about a little closesness and make him feel as he is there taking part in his life on a daily basis instead of feeling so far away.

Hi T. ~ My husband is not in the military and I couldn't imagine having him gone. My idea was the same as the other moms, make a video while he's gone and lots of pictures for a book. I wanted to take this time to also THANK YOU and the other military families that posted or will read this for you and your families sacrifice! Blessings ~ J.

Hey hun!! I too am a military spouse, as is my cousin. I have an almost 2yr old, and she has a 4 and 8 yr old. Something we've done for our kids is Sesame Street... Log onto Military One Source, I can't remember the exact location on the website, but there's a section on Deployments and kids. You can either download or order a free program, in wich Elmo's dad has to go away for a while. I shows the kids how to cope while Daddy is gone.

Also, maybe your hubby can send a t-shirt or something of his home for your son. This is something my cousin did with her youngest, When ever she misses her daddy, she puts on Daddy's t-shirt and gives herself a hug. This way she "smells" her daddy, and daddy gets a hug @ the same time. I know to us it seems kinda "corny", but whatever will help the kids through the deployment.

If you'd like to talk more, let me know. God bless and Good luck!

First let me just say THANK YOU. It is people like your husband and your family who help to keep our country and our families safe and free. Then I would like to say I am so very sorry your two year old misses his daddy. My heart was breaking when I was reading your story. When I am away from home for any period of time, I let my children sleep with something personal of mine. My son loves my pillow and my daughter usually sleeps in one of my t-shirts. Unfortuantely, NOTHING will replace his daddy, and the pain will be there, no matter what. Maybe he can be distracted with a trip, just the two of you, or an overnight visit or two to a grandparent's house? I wish you the best of luck, and a speedy return for your husband.

I don't know how you are coping that has to be tough. Hang in there Daddy is doing a good thing serving our country.

I sympathize with you and your two year old. We are not a military family (although my Dad was in the army when I was your son's age). I can't imagine how hard this must be on him. I do have a couple of suggestions that might ease the pain a little.

Do you have a video camera? or a friend with one? When you husband comes home for a week, use a video camera to record him reading a couple of stories to your son. Have him read to the camera and show the pictures in the book. Make sure he tells your son he loves him and talks to him by name in the video. Then when your son is really missing him. You can tell him that Daddy can't be there in person but he can read him a story on the television.

You can also have him record a good night message to him for each night or a couple that you can recycle. Make sure he mentions that he misses your son, too and can't wait to come home and see him. You could have him say that Mommy has a big hug to give your little boy from his Daddy.

You could also put together a book during that week with pictures of your son and his father. You could call it "Thing Daddy and I Will Do When He Comes Home". You could pick places like the zoo or a museum or a favorite pack and put in pictures of both your son and his dad and the things at the places. Or pictures of his favorite things to do with Dad whether it is playing with matchbox cars or getting a piggy back ride.

I don't know if these will help very much but I just thought when he is missing Daddy these are things that can give him a little bit of Daddy while he is gone.

Good luck.

Hi T.! I was a military wife until about a year ago. Our daughter was not born until after my husband got out, but we had many friends with children. They got their little ones daddy dolls. (www.hugahero.com) They also had a candy dish or jar. At the beginning of the deployment or long training op, they would count out pieces of candy (like Hershey's Kisses)...one for each day Daddy would be gone. Each night, the child would say goodnight to Daddy's picture and then get to eat a candy...getting a "kiss" from Daddy before bed. This was great because if the time line changed, as it always does, my friend could add or subtract candy as needed and the child could see exactly how long until Daddy came home. I also agree with everyone else's suggestions of lots of pictures and videos. I don't know where your husband is stationed right now, but I know that some of the bases overseas have programs where the deployed parent can go and videotape themself reading a book to their child and then send that home. I hope this helps a little. Hang in there!

Shay

You can try to make a photo abulm with your son. Pic with the two of them together and a couple of just your hubby and if your huby can send little notes to your son. And then put them in the book. Have it that you sit and look threw it when ever he needs to see his daddy. Maybe record his voice.

Throw your huby a big welcome home party and have your little one help in every way to plan it. Thats if your huby has the time between everything.

Best of LUck

Maybe it would help to make something for his Daddy for when he comes home. He could draw pictures or you could help him write a letter (or even email). He can make a big care package to present to him that be taken when he is away for the next month. I heard of a military wife making a pillow with her husband's face on it so the child can "sleep with Daddy". There's nothing easy about missing the people you love. Finding other families like yours may help too. Not just for your son to make some friends (and hopefully help keep his mind off Daddy) but also for support for you!