First Deployment - Ideas for Ways to Keep Dad As"present" as Possible While Gone

When ours were little, the idea of time passing and how long it would be were really difficult too. We started a Daddy garden. I got a small american flag for each week that he would be gone, and we planted them under a tree. Each Sunday, one of the kids got to pull a flag out and put it into a vase on the mantel by his picture. As the vase got full and the flags were fewer and fewer in the garden, the kids could see how soon Daddy would be home. It was a nice way to share thoughts at a regular time, talked about how Daddy would like to play golf today, or how much he would like what we were having for lunch. When he could mangage to call on Sundays, that was helpful too.

Good luck, you will make it. We did not do any tapes, but that sounds like it would be a good idea. We have a lot of pictures around.

M.

My husband was deployed for a year, and our daughter was 18 months when he left. We had great communication with skype, but I see that's not a reliable option for you. I also had the "flat daddy", which was a life sized photo (waist up) of him. I had it mounted on foam board. Flat daddy went every where with us, we told him bye bye when we left for the day, and gave him hugs good night. Check it out at www.flatdaddies.com. Best wishes to you and your family during this tough time. Do you have a good support group near by? It can be hard, but you'll be able to make it!

When my oldest was little I did this. We don't see all of our relatives on a regular basis. I got a piece of construction paper the same size of my chair in my van. I got a bunch of photos and laminted the photos. You could put a bunch of photos of the kids doing activities with their daddy.
Have him record some books in his own voice before he departs.That way dad can still read the kids a story at bedtime.
Get some hallmark cards that you can record your own voice. Have him record a special message for each of your kids. Good job on being a good helper or whatever.
Have him write some special notes if they don't read have him draw some special pictures.. stick people are fine. and have him hide them over the house. they will be love finding special little messages from daddy.
I will keep you in my prayers.

You could have him buy them some inexpensive toys, wrap them up, and pull one out each month for each of them to open. Plan ahead and have them themed for each month (or you could just go buy stuff each month and say it's from Daddy LOL, my hubby isn't the type that would know what to get or plan that far ahead).
You could have a couple posters made of your husband to hang in their rooms.
My kids loved picking out items for care packages once or twice a month, we usually just went to the Dollar Tree. My hubby loved getting any kind of snacks and also pictures the kids had drawn for him.
You could make a calendar with a different picture of your husband every month, or pictures of him with the kids, you, etc.
I can't think of anything else right now besides what you already mentioned. Good luck and I wish your husband a safe deployment!

Do they have access to Skype? It is great for video chatting!

Also, having the kids make little video's, just a few moments every night before bed. Set up a camera in a corner of the house, and let the kids set a timer, each one gets a turn, and they have 1 minute or 2 minutes to "tell daddy how their day was".... This will be very special when Daddy comes home and you can watch them all together, or send them to him and he can watch things throughout the deployment.

Good luck... I have a cousin overseas and his wife is home with their 3 children, I know it is rough, hang in there and don't ever be afraid to ask for help!

my dh is gone a lot. Skype is a great thing, taking pics and sending them to him, baking cookies like clockwork every single week or so, but being consistant so he can have that to look forward to when things get really tough would be great.

We're making a "family heart" for my hubby. We haven't seen him now in a month and he misses he kids and me so very much. We're lucky to be hanging out with each other for the summer and he's missing out, so we want him to have our "heart" while he is gone. It is a cloth heart-shaped pillow made out pieces of our clothing quilted together. Inside we will each put a lock of our hair. When he leaves again he'll take it with him. It gives him a piece of us to cuddle up to at night and something physical to hold/ look at when he needs us. It's a poor substitution for a hug, but it's the best we can do.

I wish you peace and I hope he comes home safely and quickly!

I am not a military wife and want to say thank you to your husband for serving our country and thank you to you for everything you have to go thru being a military wife!
My sisters husband is a marine and while he's been gone (he comes home today!!!) my kids LOVED to draw him pictures and we would just mail them in the care pacages my sister sent to him! It kept them thinking about him and it made him very happy also! you have gotten some really good ideas on here... I like the flat daddy thing! :o) I saw someone who did that and they kept him sitting in a chair at the kitchen table so they had all their meals with him! Good luck... I hope he isn't gone for too long!

You've received so many great ideas. I don't have anything to add, I just want to say THANK YOU to your husband for his service to our country!

Make them each a photo album of their daddy to keep in their room. Have him make a video diary or a tape of him talking to them. He can also write them a cute letter that you can read to them nightly. Maybe a poem or a prayer for them at bedtime. You can also make a video of them at least each week for him to see when he gets home or make a copy so you can mail it to him. He can make sure not to miss anything.

Hi E.,
My husband just deployed for his fourth time leaving me, my 2 1/2 year old and 7 month old so I can relate.
The biggest thing I would recommend is to get the Elmo video that is available for free to military families about deployments. And watch it a couple times before he leaves so your child understands what is going on. It also has some ideas on it to help remember daddy when he is gone. I got mine from the Family Team building on base but you can also get it on militaryonesource.com. Again, it is free and I was pretty impressed by it.
On top of some of the things in the video, we also have I Love You Gummy Bears from Daddy. Before my husband left., we counted out enough gummy bears, with a few extra, to last through his deployment and put them in a clear, plastic tube with a lid. Each night my son gets an I Love You Gummy Bear from his daddy and as the time passes by, he will be able to see the amount of gummy bears going done. I tell him each night that when all the gummy bears are gone, Daddy will be home. I have also heard of giving your children (Hershey's) kisses from Daddy.
Finally, to help my little one understand where Daddy is, we call deployments "work trips". He knows where my husband works and would not understand being on base and not being able to go see Daddy for a long time. But he understands that a trip is when someone leaves for a while and then comes back.
I hope that helps and again, get the Elmo DVD. It was much better than I thought it would be.

Hi, E.!
It looks like you're ahead of the game already! I wish I was as prepared as you are. We've been through 4 deployments, and I'm happy to say we've survived every one of them and have grown stronger in lots of ways.
I want you to know you have plenty of support here in the Fort Bragg community. There's a deployed spouses group that meets once a week. Food is provided for dinner, then we put our kids in childcare (also free) so we can get together and talk. It's a wonderful group, always changing in size as more ladies find out about it. It's a great way to meet other women in the same boat and provides us a way to talk openly to people who 'get it', unlike family and friends who haven't lived it. You know what I mean! =) It was a tremendous help to me and my friends when our husbands were deployed a while back. In fact, we were the pioneer group! Please contact me for dates and times as I don't think we should be posting ALL our business out there for anyone to read.
And make sure you go to your FRG meetings, especially the ones sure to come up really soon. They are a great resource as well. Don't hesitate to contact me for any questions you may have. If I don't have the answer, I know someone who will!
Remember-- YOU CAN DO THIS!! God bless!

Maybe a 'goodie box' filled with just some simple trinkets (gum, coloring books, jump rope, etc) that they can pick one toy from each week (like after bathtime on Saturday night or something) 'from Dad'. Sounds like you've pretty well got it covered. Don't stress about it too much, and always share your own feelings about missing Daddy WITH your kids. Don't try to be so brave and strong that they think you are unfeeling! Joys shared are doubled, and griefs shared are halved (at least in theory. Sharing feelings IS therapeutic, at least)!