Hi Everybody,
We are having a party for my daughter's 2nd birthday in a few weeks and it will be at 11am to avoid a grumpy girl at her nap time. My problem is that my MIL lives about 2 or 2.5 hours away and will spend the night before in town. The three of us live in a one bedroom apartment with a regular couch, not a pull out. Hubbie wants his mom to stay with us, and when I recommended a motel he thought I was being mean and said that I didn't like his mom.... Ok... Do you think it is thoughtless of me to expect that she can't stay with us when we don't have the space? Or should I suck it up for a night or two and let her stay here? I am pretty sure it will be really hard for all of us, as she likes to stay up late and sleep late, and we are on a 2 year old schedule.
Thanks so much in advance,
sorry if this is more like a vent
Thanks everyone, I guess I was slightly over reacting.
I really hope I didn't come across as inconsiderate, of course like any situation their is emotional baggage that is also in play, but we are working on the stuff that has happened.
They do like to decide things together before talking to me, which does make it hard, but besides him pointing out that she will be staying here once, I haven't heard that it is set in stone. I did tell him that I was thinking of her schedule and worried about her being too tired to enjoy the party if she didn't get her sleep, which made him feel a whole lot better.
Her and I haven't had the greatest of relationship but we are trying really hard to get along. I think I will take the advice to explain to her that Sophia will be awake early and since the living room is the only place for us to be when we are up she will have to be ok with waking early. Hopefully she will take the hint and want to stay in a motel.
Sorry everyone for the rambling post.
It's so nice to have the support of other parents on here
Hi is she a mean, difficult mil? If so I can see why you want her in a motel, if she's nice, I would say just put up with it.
Where do you all normally sleep? Is the crib in your only bedroom? Then that will leave the couch vacant for your MIL. And it will mean you can all go to bed at your normal times & if MIL wants to be a night owl & watch tv or something, she won't bother you.
I doubt she'll sleep too late with a 2 yo up at the crack of dawn! (but if she does, that's her problem).
I do think it would be rude to ask her to stay at a hotel. When you talk to her, tell her she is welcome to have your sofa for the night. All you can do is all you can do, right?
If she doesn't like that idea, maybe she'll suggest a hotel. Have fun!
Just let her know the situation. She is welcome to stay there, but you only have the couch and your 2 year old gets up when she gets up. Let her know that if she would prefer a hotel, that you won't be offended, and just want her to be comfortable. If she wants to stay with you, then yes, you will have to suck it up.
She's your husband's mother and he loves her. Suck it up. It's only for one night and if it's really uncomfortable for her maybe next time she'll stay in a motel.
you gotta suck it up. thats his mom, you can't expect her to stay in a motel especially by herself. she'll be on your schedule is all.
did you make these points to your husband? I would talk to your husband again. I would invite her to spend the night at your house, let her know all the details. She may want to spend the night at the hotel just for comfort.
I would let her sleep on the couch if she wants, just let her know that she will be woken when the child wakes, and if that is not ok you would be happy to help her find a nice hotel.
Hey I'd also check with your mother in law. Explain the living situation and ask her if she'd prefer a motel.. I'm betting she would and that should end your husband's concern.
However , no I don't think you are being unreasonable:)
Where does your husband expect her to sleep? Doesn't he want her to be comfortable? I don't think it was thoughtless. You were thinking of her comfort. I would put it that way to your husband. Put the ball in his court about it. Good luck!
Im with you as long as you are offering to pay for the motel room. The last thing you want to do is tip toe around your MIL first thing in the morning so you don't wake her up. She might even be OK with it so she doesn't have to sleep on a couch. It couldn't hurt to ask her.
I would never make family get a hotel. Right after my daughter was born, (she was 3 weeks old) we were living in a small 2 bedroom apartment. We had my MIL, husbands aunt, sister, brother, 2 cousins, and grandparents ALL over at the same time for 1 week! It was tough. 1 night with her sleeping on the couch isn't a big deal.
You said your MIL already plans to spend the night beforehand - where exactly does she think she's sleeping??? In other words, is this already a done deal between her and your hubby? If so, I would just go along with it. If not, I would simply say to her that accomodations are tight, and she may be more comfortable in a nearby motel. No need to make a big fuss though. If she does stay with you this time and ends up being uncomfortable or put out, she might be more likely to have the sense to make a hotel reservation the next time.
I am with Rachel F., if she's nice, you can work out an arrangement. Having her on your couch for one or two days shouldn't be too big of an issue.
If she is, however, the center of the known universe and thinks you should be delighted that she allows you within her gravity field, well then, your husband needs to deal with letting her know that the kid's will wreak havoc on her schedule and she'll be oh-so-much happier in a hotel....
i wouldn't make a big fuss, however, i'd sure tell husband next time you both need to be ok with arrangments before they are settled....i'd sure make sure she brings her own bedding
Does MIL currently have plans to stay with you or a motel or is it still open for discussion? If it is up in the air, talk to her. Let her know that you would love to have her stay but don't have much room. Ask if she would prefer to stay at a hotel rather than on your regular couch in tight quarters on a toddler's schedule? Tell her you know she likes to stay up late but you are early risers and would like to be sure she is comfortable or at least aware that she may not be and let her decide.
