My Sister in Law Wants to Bring Her Family to Stay with Us

No is certainly an option. Personally I'd tell her that they are welcome to stay. in the living room or family room if you have that. Tell her that they'll have to supply linen or sleeping bags. Its only 1 night. If they were planning on being there for more than that I wouldn't be so accommodating.

Plan on a big pancake breakfast in the morning (so easy to cook in a big quantity) and fingers crossed they'll leave after that.

And remember its 5 o'clock somewhere mimosas at breakfast are always an option for you.

I would tell SIL that's great but it will be tight and people WILL be sleeping on air mattresses in the family room. If that's not agreeable, she can stay in the hotel another night.

Pretty easy actually.

I would tell that you just don't have room. They should extend their hotel stay. If that is impossible, you have a living room floor for them. I don't get why it's okay for people to invite themselves to stay at someone else's house.

I'm not a therapist, but I do play one on the internet sometimes...

6 additional people in a house already filled up? My suspicion is that your SIL is not spilling all the beans about WHY she wants to stay there (with her entire family), or is making some type of "power play".

Regardless of her reasons or intentions, the answer needs to be "no". You already have a guest at your house, the bedrooms are maxed out. This is the holidays - already a stressful time for many families (just the change in schedule & activity, if nothing else). Furthermore, this is not just your SIL asking if she can bunk on the sofa for the night - she wants to bring her partner & 4 children, none of whom are of age to play with your kids (so the whole "cousins wanna hang out together" argument is a non-issue). That's just too many bodies.

And of course, there's the declaration, as opposed to inquisition. Ridiculous. Do not put yourself through such drama. Say no, & be firm. You have a guest, do not have the room, hope they can extend their hotel stay an extra night. Make sure your husband understands that this is not only rude of her, but overwhelming to you, & you need his support in standing with you in the decision.

Best of luck! T. :)

Saying no is taking care of you and your family. Does that sound selfish? Not to me. If we want to use selfish, your sister sounds selfish. She is asking you to do what she wants, ignoring your request that she not stay.

You are not responsible for making her happy, especially when making her happy treads on everyone else's happiness.

This is another situation that "just say no" works. Just no becausE when you try to change her mind she thinks she can change your mind. You are responsible to set and enforce boundaries for yourself and your family.

I'm appalled at all the answers that say it's just one night, sick it up, have fun. This may work for them. You have sucked ir won't work for you and asked if this means you are being selfish.

Please, moms, consider that your people and circumstances you are different than hers. People, relationships, ages, spaces, experiences are different in your situation and B.'s.

We must recognize and honor our limitations and the limitations of the space, timing and relationships. I applaud B. for being aware and.asking for support.

As a rule, we do not host overnight guests in our home. That is not something I enjoy so I do not do it. (In your situation, MIL would be in an extended-stay motel for three weeks or do a shorter visit in a regular hotel.)

I would tell SIL that I do not have room for six more people, and offer suggestions if she needs to find a room for the 26th.

Welcome to mamapedia B.!

You tell your sister in law - sorry - but we cannot accommodate six more people in a 2 bathroom home. We are already busting at the seams.

You make sure your husband backs you up and you are both on the same page.

Good luck!

I would be all holy you want what??! Then I would call my friends and find enough air mattresses for them and say enjoy the open spaces.

Our house is a four bedroom still my daughter had every girl in her grade over for a birthday slumber party, 28 girls! Our house looked like a refugee camp for smallish people. There were girls all over the floor of my daughter's room, my other daughter's room, the hall, the dining room, the family room, I think there was a body next to the stove. It isn't ideal but for one night it works.

I don't understand why she can pay for 5 nights at a hotel and then not the last night and wants to stay with you? Why can't she just stay at another hotel for the last night? Is there no openings in the area? I guess knowing that would help answering.

My short answer is there isn't any room for them and it's easy enough to tell them that. Again, not sure why she can't get another room but if she CANT and needs a place to stay, then make it work, it's only ONE night.

My cousins from CA TOLD me they were coming for Tgiving. LOL I was like, OK, thanks for letting me know. So I bought a daybed with a trundle from craigslist and linens my mom gave me and they are coming for a few days. No biggie. You just make it work. It's family. Good luck.

Just tell her, "I am sorry, but I have to tell you no, we are NOT able to host your family overnight. We just don't have enough space in our home"

Tell her now, so she has plenty of time to make other arrangements. Actually, since this is your husband's sister, HE should tell her.

Don't worry about appearing selfish and mean. It's not like you have 12 guest rooms. You have limited space, and you already have guests.

Do you have a rec room or somewhere you can stick them all? If so, then I'd do it - if you need them to bring air mattresses, etc. then they can. I'd just be upfront and say this is what we have - and let them decide if that will work for them, or if they need to find another hotel for a night.

I usually view it as - can we do this or no? take the emotions out of it. She just wants to know if she has to book another night. Let your husband handle it.

Tell her the truth - it won't work. She can find a hotel or a VRBO. If you have really REALLY good friends who will be away for the same time period and would like a house sitter (and assuming you trust your SIL and her family to take care of someone's place appropriately), you can suggest that.

And if this is your husband's sister and your MIL's daughter, they can take up the cause for you. Why does this have to be your job? You have enough to deal with!

As long as everyone knows they might be on a couch or floor, I think it would probably be fun to have house full during the holidays! It's just one night!

Not selfish at all! Six extra people the day after Christmas? I would still be in cleaning and organization mode. They will show up at 11 am after hotel checkout and you wouldn't have any time to recover. I always prefer to stay at a hotel for my sanity and to not impose on any host family or not.

I remember going on trips to family homes and falling asleep in the car. I'd wake up the next morning in bed with 3 or 4 other kids. It was fun, we loved waking up together then having the day to play. We still talk about those days together.

Perhaps that sort of thing is what sil is wanting for her kids. To wake up with cousins and family and spending the day being together.

It's not the same when you come over after getting up, bathing, packing up, checking the room two or three times to make sure nothing is under the hotel bed or in the sheets or in the closet or in the drawers. Then going to someone's house to hang out for a few hours.

It's just not the same.

So I'd think about it in those terms and maybe offer to keep the kids and give mom and dad the night off, so they can have a quiet evening.

I agree with those who have suggested the adults sleep in the bedrooms and the kids can have a big slumber party in the living room. It is not ideal, but it is one night. It's up to you if you are willing to make this small sacrifice to allow family to spend the holidays with you. You can always say no. Lots of people live in conditions more crowded than that.

My husband and I both loving having our family for short burst like this actually. Sure it's cramped and there are bodies on pallets of blankets and make shift beds everywhere you look but it's just for but a minute in the grand scheme of things and it's good for the kids to have cousin fun time especially on the holidays; cause come on, if not Christmas then when??!
Try to find the joy and the spirit of the season! If nothing else suck it up and be be gracious and tell your hubby he owes you one ;)

Relax and let their family love..better yet you show the love too.

~For the record I'm the let's get our own hotel room kinda chic when I travel but not all people are. The way we generally roll is whomever makes the effort of travel sets the pace and we just go with it.

it would take me aback too if someone just said they were coming to stay, and didn't actually ask how it would work. but i'm not quite clear on how it went down with you.

i mean, if she said 'i've got everything covered but the last night, is it okay if we stay with you for a single night?' then why are you so butthurt? you can say yes or no and carry on.

if she simply said 'we'll be visiting for several days and have to stay with you one night' and didn't give you an out, then yeah, that sucks, but you can still be firm about what you will or will not tolerate.

i'm going to have a full house over christmas and was very sad to have to tell a beloved family member that the usually-available spare bedroom won't be available, and that i don't know how this person is going to work it out. the floor is always an option, of course, but not something everyone will go for.

if you're totally uncomfortable with everyone having a big pajama party for a single night, then of course you courteously and firmly say 'i'm so sorry, thelma, but that's not going to be an option. we'll be bursting at the seams on that date and just can't accommodate your ravening horde. can i help you find a motel, or a cute B&B for that one night?'

i myself would go for it. at these ages the kids are still having a blast with christmas, and one night isn't a huge deal. put the SIL and her partner in your kids' room and let the kids build blanket forts and stuffed animal piles.

but you get to pick. it's your house. if you aren't comfortable using your voice, you can't expect anyone to read your mind.
khairete
S.

one night is not going to hurt anybody. yes it waill be crowded, but your kids and their cousins will make lasting memories.

Definitely rude, but you can make it work. Kids can sleep on the floor ... all of them, including yours. This will be a good lesson in hospitality. Your kids can give up their beds for one night to be gracious hosts.

We spent every Christmas at my grandparents house with aunts and uncles and cousins ... and all the cousins slept in sleeping bags in the living room. We thought it was fun!

It's not ideal, but you can make it work.

When we lived in a small 3 bedroom home, my MIL and her sister came to stay WITH US!! My youngest son (4 months at the time) slept in the room with my husband and I. My other two shared the older kids room, and the aunt took my middle son's room. My MIL slept in the living room, but refused to take down the blow up mattress. So it stayed up for a week before I lost my cool.

My youngest son is 9 now and she and I will never be on great terms...it's a respect thing for me. Tell your SIL there is NO room.

Is it only for one night? I would let them (I could never turn away family) but just let them know upfront that everyone will be sleeping together on the floor in the living room, and to bring sleeping bags if you don't have enough.

Tell her that she will need to stay in the living room. Tell her if she needs to bring linens. If you have them, then you can furnish them. Tell her that other people have the bedrooms already. And DO NOT offer up your room! She will do this over and over during the holidays if you give her your room.

Tyler and I are all about family. Being military, we experienced tight quarters and sleeping on air beds, etc. and we are a family of six.

However, asking a family with a 2 bathroom house to add six more to it? I would be hard pressed to say yes. That's a lot of people for 2 bathrooms.

I understand it's just one night. That's 12 people for 2 bathrooms. I would have to say no.

Wait, so it's just one night, right? With that many people I expect they would be sleeping on the couch/floor. As long as they know that, and don't mind not having a bed, I think it would be kind of fun. When my kids were little we had people sleeping all over this way in the very small home of my in laws.
If you don't have enough pillows and blankets for everyone just tell them to bring sleeping bags. Why not try to have a good time rather than getting stressed out?

It is just for one night. Personally, if it were me I would think it'll just be one crazy crowded night! I'd send my husband to go pick up doughnuts in the morning or something easy. I would tell them how many people/bedrooms you have and to bring sleeping bags for the kids and everyone can sleep on the floor/couch in the living room. Think of it as a big sleepover. Or if you just can't do it...have your husband call her and say she needs to book a hotel room because there is not enough room at your house.

I understand you already made a decision, but well I am tossing this in. I have lots of brothers and sisters and so does my husband. When we were going to see his family we have stayed in their house, on floors, mattresses and layers of blankets. I had originally begged to go to hotels rather than stay with the relatives. But I didn't realize how important it was to them, especially brothers and sisters to wake up with their own brother or sister once again. I realize you are all adults but I actually get hurt now when my son comes with his wife and won't stay with us. And believe me I never thought I'd feel like that.
As I said there are a lot of kids in our family and there are times I miss waking up in a crowded noisey house. Maybe not this time, but perhaps the next one go with it. I kind of agree with sister in law. It is only one night.

I know a lot pf people who wouldn't dream of letting family stay at a hotel - they'd rather squeeze everyone in with the attitude, hey, it's family. It will be fine. Personally, if that was the plan, I'd go stay at a hotel. In this situation, I'd just tell her that she needs to revert to the original plan - you simply don't have the space.

Wait - is it one night or 5? One night you can handle. 5 - it's hotel time.

Just tell her you are already past capacity, ad don't have room for more overnight guests.

It's the holidays, it's family....lighten up for one day!

Are you close to your sister in law? If it were mine I would be a little taken aback, but would welcome them all. I'd just tell her that the kids could all sleep in sleeping bags and the adults in the bedrooms.. I'd make it work..but my sister in law would have asked first if that would be an option or not..

If you aren't close, then I see how you would feel put out, but you also should have just told her that the beds are full and whatever you decided as far as them staying or not.. be honest..

Personally, I would let them stay, with the warning in advance that the kids will be in sleeping bags on the floor (the adults get beds, all kids have a big sleepover on the floor in the living room). It's just 1 night.

But, if you don't want to do that, just say no. Politely of course. But be clear, not wish-washy. "I'm sorry, we simply can't accommodate you. I hope you can you extend your stay at the hotel for 1 more night."

Has she seen your home? Maybe she will realize it is too small.

I would just do it. This is Christmas and one night.

Yeah...this would not be happening in my house. I would try to handle it graciously and tell her how much you are looking forward to seeing them, but you simply do not have room enough in your house for everyone to be comfortable. I would be happy to provide them a list of local hotels that might better accommodate them. The only option I could see would be to let the adults have the bedrooms and having the kids camp out each night in the living room. However, given the age span of the kids, I don't see that working very well either. It was unreasonable for her to make reservations without talking to you about her expectation of staying in your house first.

She needs to book her hotel for 6 nights.
If that hotel can't give her one more night then she needs to find another hotel - and you are not a hotel.
Staying with you for one night is not doable for that many people.
I'd say 'No, we can't do that' and so what if she thinks I'm selfish and mean?
Apparently she doesn't care what she looks like just by asking this - and really? - it doesn't sound like she's asking so much as informing you that you're going to do this.
My answer would be "Um, no. No we're not doing this. You'd better come up with plan B.".

Additional:
Oh, so she's a serial moocher.
Definitely - no way no how does she sleep under your roof.
"C'mon it's just one night" - the nerve - no way is this acceptable.
Draw the boundary now and stand firm.

Throw some blow up beds on the living room floor and call it good.
That's how our family does it!
You are family. Is it really that tough to host for a day. Shoot, I had my SIL and her two kids living with me and my husband and three kids in an apartment. For three months.
It can be done.

Can she not afford the last night in the hotel? Can you pay for it?

I don't see the problem for one night. When we go to my in-laws for Thanksgiving, there are usually 10 people (11 people one year) and 8 dogs (this year there will only be 6 dogs) in a 3 bedroom (there is a 4th bedroom but it has been a storage room with no available space) and 1 1/2 bath house. We have stayed as long as 3 nights with these conditions. There are two inflatable mattresses for two kids to use and both couches are occupied at night as well. Sure it is crowded but it is doable.