Passover is coming up in two weeks and our synagogue is doing another HUGE seder at the Crowne Plaza again. The hotel is charging us $30 per adult and $22 per child under 12 years old. Our children are 2 years old and 1 year old. If we choose to put our child in the "children's room" where a couple of adults watch them then the children are free.
My husband wants to know what I want to do about the seder... I can almost bet we will go no matter what happens since we go every year and my husband is in leadership and really sort of has to go.
The problem I am having is this:
Problem #1) $22 for a 2 year old and $22 for a 1 year old is way too expensive! The hotel sets the price per chair so we cannot ask for special treatment from our synagogue. We could probably get away with our daughter not having a chair but not our 2 year old son.
Problem #2) Our son, especially, has WAY too much energy to even sit quietly for 5 minutes. Even if I take activities for our children to do, they are going to be loud, disruptive, wanting to run around and/or fight with each other, and I will constantly be leaving the seder to walk them around the hotel which will be distraction to everyone else and which will make me lose nearly the whole seder. $30 down the drain right there... not to mention the other $22+.
Problem #3) I would gladly put them into the children's room to play and eat for free.... but there are two children from another family that WILL be there and those children are extremely rude and mean to my children. Those children are ages 7 years old and 4 years old (boy and girl). Their parents don't discipline them and so I am constantly having to get onto those children for shoving my babies, for yelling at my babies, calling them horrible rude names, not letting my children play with them, and for teaching my children very rude and inappropriate behavior. I DO NOT want my children in that room with those children. Who knows what will happen or be taught. I did mention there will be adults in that room watching the children... but those adults are hired by the hotel. They don't know our children and they don't intervene when they should. Even with those adults, my children will possibly be hurt and/or taught very bad behaviors. Because my 2 year old doesn't know any better (and doesn't know how to express himself well or correctly yet) he lashes out in defense when another child is mean or rude to him which gets MY SON into trouble.
What should I do?!?!?!
get a sitter and leave them home. No reason to ruin everyones night/day. I don't really know what seder is but it sounds like maybe a fancy meal is involved. I would not want my kids with the bullies but I also wouldn't want to take them and pay big bucks for something they won't enjoy or remember anyway.
Leave the kids at home with a sitter. If that's not possible put them in the free childcare & ask the workers to keep the kids apart. I have had to do this with my kids & another parents kids that are bullies towards my kids.
I'd call to see if you can get 2 high chairs without being charged $22. Maybe offer to pay 1/2 of that?
Can you hire a babysitter at home and leave them there?
Take the $44 dollars you would spend on the children's plates and hire a babysitter to either accompany the children in the child's room or to stay at your house! I used to give my Babysitter $8 to $10 per hour for my two kids who were about the same age span as yours so this would buy you about 4 hours of time (+/-). The other alternative would be a family member?
It just seems better not to place your kiddos in the situation you are describing and you also want to be able to enjoy the seder too.
Good luck.
~C.
I agree. I think a sitter would be money better spent and you can enjoy yourself without worry.
Get a sitter and leave the kids at home or find another way to do the seder. If you think $22 is too expensive, then you need to find a less expensive route. If your husband *has* to go but you can't find a sitter, then maybe you need to stay home with the kids.
The good thing is that they won't be young forever and soon will be able to join you at this significant religious event.
Hire a babysitter to watch your kids at home.
sounds like sitter time to me! you'd be able to relax and not worry about the kids.
Get a babysitter and go enjoy yourself. It doesn't make any sense to bring them because they will either cost a fortune for the two bites they eat and be disruptive...or get pounded in the playroom. Get a great sitter and you and your husband go enjoy the festivities.
Yep, that means you find a babysitter privately.
I agree with Pam R. I would hire a babysitter and leave them at home. It sounds like this is an important event for you and I wouldn't let 2 rude kids stop you and your husband from going. If you do put them in the free room I would just make the other adults aware of the problem and check back on them frequently.
Would it be possible to give the hotel a call and explain that your children are so young, but you feel it is important for them to join you for dinner? If you ask the hotel, maybe they can bring you a empty plates for you to share your dinner with the kids at no charge. Not being familiar with a seder dinner, but could you bring food for your kids and have your 1 year old sit in a stroller? I agree $22 for such young children is expensive. Just give them a call and ask. The worst they could say would be no.
As far as the children's room, just tell whoever is watching the kids to keep the other two away from your children. If you have to tip them extra to do it, it just might be worth it.
Good luck!
I would tell my husband to go if he wanted/needed to, but the kids and I were staying home.
Leave them home until they are a little older.
:)
The hotel should be charging by the MEAL, not by the chair. That's ridiculous. A child's meal doesn't cost what an adult meal does. Most places charge a child's fee from 3-10 or 3-12 years old, and free for less than that. They're only going to eat off your plate or eat what you brought from home anyway. The synagogue seder planning committee or the rabbi should intervene on this one.
Also, the synagogue should hire the babysitters, not the hotel. Hotel sitters aren't going to risk annoying the paying parents. Most synagogues have a group of sitters who babysit on Shabbat or at High Holidays, and therefore could sit on Passover - usually there are some who are not Jewish and therefore are not otherwise celebrating. The problem children aren't going to be overseen by their own parents anyway, who should be at the seder.
I think it would make more sense, if your children are too young to participate in a large group seder and if it's not going to be interactive enough to engage them, to leave them at home with a sitter of your choice. I understand that Passover is important, but you are not having an in-home seder where the kids can get up from the table and come back at the important moments.
If you are going to put your children in the babysitting room, then you can and should say to the adult sitters that some kids like to act up when out of their parents' view, and you are concerned about your little ones with larger kids. Don't single out the specific mean children you have in mind. I wouldn't worry so much about what your children will "learn" from these other kids - bad language, bad behavior? At 2 and 1, they are unlikely to pick up too much. And you say yourself that your own children will want to fight with each other. The bigger problem is injury. I think you can suggest that the sitters divide the children by age group, with toddlers in one place and ages 4 and up in another area or room. Makes sense from the standpoint of activities, toys, and so on. And the hotel is absolutely liable for what goes on under their roof if they are supervising the children - while you can't go around saying how much you don't like someone else's parenting style (or lack of it), you can let go of having to manage every second of it.
Either take the kids and enjoy the seder, allowing the professionals to watch the children, or have the kids stay home with your own sitter so at least you can enjoy the seder. You will have plenty of years for your children to enjoy Passover.
And by the way, we always do interactive seders with silly songs and "plague bags" and holiday-related themes. So there are lots of great ideas to keep children engaged either in a kids' seder (which some synagogues do during the day before the actual holiday) or at home. Let me know if you need some time-tested ideas.
What Cathy T said.Take that $44 and pay your sitter to watch your kids in the comfort of your own home. That way you can relax and enjoy the Seder, your kids (who are too young to care) will be at home and happy, and you won't be worrying. Enjoy!
Everyone says get a sitter at home, and I agree. If that isn't a possibility, you can't find anyone, or your husband doesn't want to hire a sitter at home, then I would tell him to go and you will stay home. Hopefully it won't come to that and you CAN find a babysitter, but there is no way I would leave my kids in that type of childcare situation, and they are too young for that fancy of a sit-down dinner, especially at that price. You said your husband is asking you what you want to do, so it sounds like he would be open to whatever makes you comfortable so tell him how you feel.
Can you put them in the children's room, but bring along an older child, maybe a young teen or a kid who's not quite old enough to babysit alone, and pay him or her to privately watch and play with your children in the play room? It would be much less expensive than hiring a sitter to stay at your home. A responsible "tween" of maybe 12 years old or so would be able to remain in the room with your children and protect them and entertain them, but would not be 100% responsible for them alone, as in the traditional babysitting sense. Perhaps that would be enough to deter the mean children. And that child could summon you if there were an issue or problem that you needed to attend to.
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Yep...Cathy T got it right...hire your own sitter and leave them at home.
I'm with the other mama's...get a sitter and leave the kids at home.
Go to the seder and leave your kids at home with someone you can trust.
If they are too young for you to have them with you and still enjoy the seder and you don't want them supervised by people they don't know, it seems the answer is clear.
My husband and I actually used hotel staff to watch our children while we attended an event and they had a blast. Those people were so good to them that they didn't even notice we were gone. They were close by in the event of emergency and could drop in to check at any time (and did). Our kids weren't with other kids though so they were the main focus and it worked out great.
I understand wanting kids to be a part of religious celebrations, but you can have a kid friendly seder at home so they get that without the other hassle of things.
Anyway, that's what I would do.
Best wishes.
I think you should realize 1 and 2 years old are wayy too young to be in away from parents, with people they don't know. The 1 year old will need more frequent feedings, changing. being taught something you don't want won't be your problem. i think you should get a family member to watch them or maybe you skip the outing for this year and attend when kids get older.
Any time my children have been watched in a church setting they separate the little ones from the older ones for the safety and well being of the little ones so they don't get bossed around and played rough with. Can you call ahead and see if they separate them?
Well first have a wonderful Seder. Although I am not jewish so I am not familar with the prices for the hotel/seder. It seems a bit expensive to me. In many cases younger children will be FREE or cost less. It seems silly to me they would charge the same price as an older child. Obviously your young children would not eat as much as an 8yr old or 11 yr old.
Second question. I would keep my children close by if those mean kids are going to be present. That bothers me when discipline is lacking. Good luck and enjoy your celebration.
Honestly-your kids are really too young to be in a room like that unsupervised by you or a sitter that you have chosen. I would certainly not trust someone the hotel hired to watch them-you have no idea who these people are and 1 and 2 yo is really young still. So, even without the mean kids in the picture I would say you need to seat them with you. Have them share a seat and split a meal. If you don't want to do this then spend most of the time yourself in the kids room and leave your DH out to mingle.
