Mean Daughter

You need to sit her down and tell her you will not allow her to speak down to you, EVER.

Is she paying rent? If no tell her she is actually a guest and if her attitude does not change they have 2 weeks to find a new place to live.

If she is paying rent, let her know you are about to increase the amount they are paying because putting up with her attitude is not worth the little bit she is paying. .

I would also let her know you do not appreciate the way she is speaking to her child and that he should not be the one to suffer, because SHE is so unhappy.

I also would tell her you do not approve of her having an affair and that she either needs to stop it immediately and tell her fiance or she needs to break off with her fiance. She needs to face her own consequences.

You need to ask her, exactly who does she think she is treating absolutely every person in the family so poorly..

Also ask her what is she going to do if the fiance takes the child and leaves her?

Ask her what is her child going to think of her when he gets older and realizes how his own mother behaved?

And how is she going to feel if her own sons fiance in the future.. cheats on him?

There are victims in this situation.. Her son is the one not getting the best part of her. What a terrible shame for him. He deserves so much better.

You teach people how to treat you.

your house your rules....

How about telling her she & her fiancee need to move out & she can leave the 3 yr old w/you (it worries me how she would treat the child w/o you around)?

What if she looks for a job and quits school?

Maybe look into the cheapest housing you can find for her?

Just running by options for you to think of.

Do you think she'll actually finish school anyway?

You're only encouraging her behavior by letting her live there free of rent AND letting her talk to you disrespectfully.

Hang in there & try giving her life skills. Good luck sweetie!

Do neither her or the kids father work? At 23 My husband and I had our own place and 3 children you need to show tough love

apparently you don't have much in the way of boundaries. since you've set it up so this adult daughter can take advantage of you, speak to you disrespectfully and generally behave like a spoiled brat, there is no magic bullet to get you out of the situation you have created for yourself.
there's nothing to be done with her. all you can do is change your own behavior. how much are you willing to do?
khairete
S.

I don't understand why this is a question. She's living in YOUR house, disrespecting YOU and her husband (not to mention her son).

She either plays by your rules or she gets lost.

If she's on your cell phone plan, take her off of it. When she's disrespectful to you, tell her calmly that she's no longer allowed to speak to you that way and if she does there will be difficult consequences. Her schooling and ability to afford the schooling versus renting an apartment are not your responsibility, but hers. Therefore she needs to behave gratefully or get out and figure out how to make it work on her own without your generosity. Give her a solid time frame to move out and then follow through with it.

The point is that YOU have a choice here in how much to tolerate. You don't have to tolerate her attitude. You can't really do much about the cheating unless you decide to tell her fiance about it, and since her behavior and attitude are affecting everyone in the home you have every right to inform her fiance about the affair and let him decide if he wants to stay with her or not (I'm not a fan of knowing about an affair and not telling the partner that's in the dark, though).

.

When I was 23 I was in grad school and made almost zero money. I taught one lab once a week and graded papers and tests and made about $500 a month for that. It took up way too much of my time. Yes, I was poor but all grad students are that I met. I shared a dumpy rental with 3 other people, including my boyfriend. I had no new clothes. I ate the cheapest food I could get and we all shared what we had. Kick that girl out. Give her a deadline to find a place to share with others. Let her take out a loan if she needs financial help. Offer to do some child care, but besides that treat her as an adult. As far as the cheating goes, that is sad and immature. I'm sure she will be ashamed about that later in life.

It's best that she lives with you. At 23 I had a full time job, taking a class from work (university) and engaged to be married and move out of my aunt's home.

Time to be adults here. She gets respect or she is out. She will have to deal with the consequences on all levels as it is her life not yours that she is messing up. You wouldn't let a stranger treat you this way and neither should your own child.

Take back your life and move forward. Shape up or ship out.

The other S.

Tell her if she continues to act like a spoiled entitled brat she is out!!

Pray. Have a heart to heart talk with her, for me it works really well before bed ( that's how my mom tamed me ). You need to force her to see the reality: she is a mom and a fiancee and she was born from the vagina after long hours of contraction, so yes, she must love the kid, honest to her fiancee and respect you!!! In my country, there is a saying that heaven is under mother's feet ( I don't count my MIL though, but I am trying hard to ), so mom is in the highest throne. She is probably still flying with her love that she is now in fantasy. She might hates what she is doing but she can't help it that's why she is being so temperamental, added with toddler years, must stay in parents house, school hours and exams...
If this doesn't work, you need to do what other comments suggest. You deserve to be respected mom!!!