M.R.
You need to see a Developmental Pediatrican. A speech therapist cannot rule out autism, that was totally inapropriate.
Call the nearest children's hospital, and find a developmental pediatrician. In the mean time, make another appointment with a differnet private speech therapist for therapy of the issues that you see, not for diagnostics, and just to bridge the gap until your appointment with a developmentalist, which may take several months.
Write to your school district. Request an evaluation because you suspect that your child has a disalbity. Ask for a meeting so that you can sign consent for evaluation, and for a copy of your rights under IDEA. Tell them that you would like to have the meeting scheduled in a reasonable amount of time, or ten school days. List your concerns, speech, langague, Autistic spectrum, issues with typical play, failure to understand and use receprocal speech, and sequencing issues. List anything you left out, especaily fine motor or gross motor issues, or other sensory concerns.
This kind of letter will get thier attention. Do not call. Write. Log on to www.wrightslaw.com and learn about referal, identifcation, evaluation, and advocacy. There may be a chance that he will qualify for school based services, but still continure with your private evaluations and private therapy. Schools are required to make your child functional, that is a very low bar to jump, you will always need to supplement what he gets from a public serivice.
On www.wrightslaw.com you will find a yellow pages. Find OK's yellow pages and look for a private therapist and for an educational advocate to help you if you do not feel like you can access school services alone.
M.