My Mom caught my 11 year old son exploring his private, how can I explain to him about this matter?
I told him not to do that again because its not yet the right time for him to do it..Did I say it right???
leave it be it is being a normal teenage boy. all boys do it as long as he is not advertising it. It is real embarassing to know theyve been caught. I never told my oldest he got caught. I just left it be. If you make a big issue they are going to think its something to be ashamed of.
No, telling your son right now is not the right time is not the right thing to say to him, he can't help what his body is going thru he must be thinking well when is the right time? Everything everyone has said before me is correct! He needs to explore his body but in private and yes please knock on the door before entering. He deserves privacy, respect and needs to know you are there for him to talk to. If he gets closed minded answers then this is when a child turns to others for answers and may not get the right answer he/she may need. I thank God my parents were so opened minded and explained things to me while growing up. We have a great open relationship and now I do the same with my kids, my kids friends always say how lucky my kids are to have such an open mother to talk to. Don't start your relationship on the wrong foot this is the perfect time to start educating yourself in the library, book stores etc.. to get help on how to talk to your child when they are going through these changes start now don't delay the more you delay you might just lose sight, trust from your child.
Good Luck!
I think maybe you should go back and talk with him again. Telling him now is not the time for him to be doing that may make him feel as if he has done something wrong. You do not want him to feel like he has done anything wrong...it is natural and normal. The best and easiest way would be to inform him that it is his body and he and only he can touch it, whenever he feels like it, as long as it is in private. I also think that you and grandma should consider knocking on his door from now on:)
You may want to look for some books at the library on the matter. There is a Judy Blume book for boys that might help - you read it first though. Sorry I can't recall the name right now.
It is normal for boys (and girls) to explore the sensations they get from masturbating. It feels good to them. Personally I'd rather have my son, playing with himself at home, than a girl in secret.
It will have to be your decision of how to address the issue and your feelings about it. There should be some good books to help out. Good luck.
It's normal and natural. Don't freak him out by scolding him for it. Tell him he can explore his body all he wants--it's HIS after all. But he should probably do it in private. If he was in private, you all need to agree to knock before entering a bedroom!
Basically just tell him he can do it in PRIVATE.
I just read another question about masturbation earlier today...look for it. It's about a 7 or 8 year old girl "rubbing herself" on furniture, even at school. lots of good answers/info to that request. Could help you also.
Please look into buying him some books so he can understand what his body is going through and about to go through. He needs to know that you may not have the words but you will help him learn to know what he needs to know. Then give him time and space to read those resources. There are some wonderful books that handle the subject of bodies changing delicately. This is a life moment. Give him the tools to be empowered by knowing facts. Let him have the books on his shelf so when he feels like thinking about these topics he can get answers by himself for himself. Also once you give the books you can talk about the subjects as questions arise and make sure you let him know that no question is wrong, it may make you both uncomfortable but this is a life lesson on communication.
A quick scan of Amazon reminded me of these books that are excellent resources:
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley
What's Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle, Nick Castro, Chava Castro, and Robert Leighton
American Medical Association Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen
My Body, My Self for Boys, Revised Third Edition (What's Happening to My Body?) by Lynda Madaras and Area Madaras
What's the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
What's Happening to Me?: Boys Edition by Alex Firth, Susan Meredith, and Adam Larkum
"What's Happening to Me?" A guide to puberty by Peter Mayle and Arthur Robins --- My personal favorite from when I was a kid
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...
Good Luck.
I don't think that's quite what everyone said. What I got from your answers was they said it's a good time to talk to him about the changes his body is going through and to tell him it's a natural thing but he needs to do it in private.
There's nothing wrong with an 11 year old boy exploring his body. It's not the TIME in his life that's the issue but the PLACE he did it (maybe... you didn't actually say where your mom caught him). Teach him that it's something to do only in private, like the bathroom or in his bed.
Telling him not to do it again, won't stop him from touching himself, but it could make him feel ashamed and make him hesitant to come to you openly when he has questions about his body and sexuality.
Just my two cents.
Get some books for your boy about growing up. Have your Mom read them, too. Have separate conversations with both of them. Grandma might be a bit surprised her grand child is growing up but hopefully she can take it in stride and remember to knock next time. If she can't manage that, then it's time to get a lock on your sons door so he can be certain of a little privacy when he needs it.
That is normal they hit a certain age whrere young men dont understand why . Just let him know that is natural or ask a male figure to talk to him . Just dont emberass him he will hide his sexuality from you later that is some thing you need to be open with !!! God Bless V.
this is very natural & he shouldnt be shamed about this.......and dont be naive to think this is the 1st time he did this........get him a book so he doesn't feel like he is alone & he learns about his body, you don't want him to learn from his friends
You need to reassure your son that it's perfectly normal but also private and only for him and that you apologize for walking in on him (that's if he was in his room) and if his door is closed you will be sure to knock before coming in. You don't want him to feel shame or that something is wrong with him (by telling him it's not the right time-well, when is the right time? 12, 13, 25?) because he was interested in new developments in his body.
No M., it's really a very normal age to be doing that (probably started a long time ago, little boys just LOVE their penises!)
Maybe it's your mom that needs the frank discussion. Tell her not to panic, pour her a stiff drink (no pun intended), whatever it takes to talk her down from the bridge. Your son will be just fine.
That is SO normal..... PLEASE don't put the idea in your kid's head that this is wrong and dirty. You can scar them sexually for life.
He needs to know that is something to be done in private only. Also, if your mom walked in on him and he was in private....shame on her.
