me and my husband are currently seperated.we have been having problems for the past year he totally ignores me and when i mentioned it he acted like nothing was wrong it was all me in my head.i moved out thinking it would help it has made things worse.now he kinda acts like he wants to try to work things out how can i convince him that i love him and we can make this work.we have one son together who is almost three and i have an eleven year old son that he adores
just wanted to update with all the snow my husband has been taking me back and forth to work and i've been staying there with him two days things seem a little better but he still want touch me that still kinda hurts he hasn't said anything about me coming back so i guess we will see thanks for everyones help keep talking and helping me.
Start dating EACH OTHER again and as a family. Don't try to just get back together and work things out. You have to gradually find each other again.
M.
Hello B., I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. All relationships can be hard at times, especially marriages. It sounds like you are having communication problems. I completely understand that! Men and women's minds work so differently, we all have to work so hard to communicate our needs and wants. Have you thought about seeing a counselor? Would you and your husband be willing to do that? That can be very helpful.
I wish you the best! D.
I would search out a counselor, pastor. Make an appointment and let him know that you have done this. If he will go with you and do a couples counseling session then you will both benefit from it. If you go alone you will still benefit from the help. If you are a praying person then pray to God to help your marriage become better and if your husband prays then pray together.
I understand how you feel, i am recently married and things are soo much different then i thought they would be. we argue all the time and have talked already about seperation. my best advice for you though, i wish i would take it myself, is to make sure whatever you do that you are happy with your life. you only get one chance to be happy, on shot at life and all it has to offer. if being with him is what you really want, then dont give up on it, things will work out. dont let the little things get to you, remember life is about experience, just take it as something maybe you had to go through to learn something, maybe you needed to experience it to know more about yourself or someone else. i hope things get better, good luck!
As a marriage counselor who specializes in working with couples, I may be biased but I think you should get some professional help. You have a child together and will be linked as long as that son is alive. I must disagree with a previous response. It is no longer about you and your happiness alone. You have three other people who matter, and so does your husband. Any decision either of you make is going to impact the others. In addition, happiness is a choice. You and your husband can learn to be happy with each other and the marriage, but you both have to be willing to do things differently. That process starts with you and what you are putting into the relationship. Running away (moving out) is not the answer. Addressing the issues head-on and finding solutions that work is the only way. Your two children are depending on you to get this right. Good luck.
i dont think you should have to convince him that your marriage is worth saving however if it were me i would let him know how important he is to you and let him make the next move it proves that he thinks your worth it too
Unfortunately some guys don't really 'hear' you until you're halfway out the door. By that time most women are done. I too would recommend you see a counselor both together and separately. Sometimes it's too difficult at first to address deep issues with the other person in the room. All relationships hit a plateau. It's what you do at that point that determines the success or failure of the relationship. Good luck!
I have several suggestioms:
- '5 Love Languages'(book)
- 'For Women Only' and 'For Men Only' (books)
- 'Fireproof' (Movie)
- 'The Love Dare' (book that goes with the movie Fireproof)
They are all amazing! I have used all of these. My husband watched the movie with me. The movie is very "cheesy" but the messages are powerful!
Check out the blog "What Women Never Hear" (http://wwnh.wordpress.com) for more insight into the male mind.
I feel like we live in a time where people have lost sight of what being married really means. If you care about your marriage and about keeping your family together then seek help. See a counselor, a neutral third party who can help you work through your issues. Every marriage is a work in progress and no relationship is perfect. I am glad that you are giving this consideration before it is too late. God bless and good luck!
Read Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. It will open your eyes wide, and if you do what she says, you and your husband will be happy. After several years of not knowing how to have a happy marriage (and always being mad at my dh for no good reason, and making us both miserable), I read that book, changed my ways, and we are deliriously happy in our marriage for about 6 years since reading that book. It's worth its weight in gold.
