He said: he still loves you, is attracted to you... but there just isn't any "magic?"
Sorry, but what does he expect... that it is like a TV romance show every day???
That is not what marriage or couple-dome is.
It is in HIS head. He is expecting 'magic'... to just happen. But that is not life. He ain't no Brad Pitt. Even he ain't no love magician. Sorry.
"Magic" does not happen.. nor everyday... nor just happens. It takes WORK.
Now... well he said he felt like this for YEARS. Now he drops the bomb on you.
Maybe... and this does happen to LOTS of men... MAYBE he has just been having an identity crises, and age crises, is having a hard time aging... can't let go of his youth.... or his ideas about maturity.
Once, my husband told me something similar. We have been married 13 years. Still are. I told my Husband... life and marriage AIN'T no fairy-tale.... and he is SUPERFICIAL to think... that "I" have to be his everyday "magic" all the time... and that "I" have to be RESPONSIBLE for keeping the 'magic' in our lives... when he is NOT even... doing anything himself... to make it happen.
I pretty much... told my husband off. I know him... better than he knows himself. I told him... I am NOT a tv show... I am NOT Angelina Jolie.... I am NOT... the sole responsible party... for making ALL the so called "magic" happen... in OUR marriage. And that I am TIRED of being his scape-goat for his personal hang-ups. Because it is HIM... that HE needs to work on. Instead of making it 'me' that is at fault... or the reason he has for not handling his getting older... very well. Because I... have always.... been so darn flexible and accommodating to him... and although I am not perfect either.... it has not always been fair. Nor has he been very thoughtful of me. In ALL these years.
My Husband, I know him well. When he told me something similar to what your Husband said... I told him... he can leave. But, he will not be happy... either. Because the BOTTOM line is... HE is not happy... with... HIMSELF. So, sure he can leave. I know, that he is just blaming me... for his.... own.... self-issues. And to make everything so superficial... that the "magic" is not there in our marriage... is so insulting... to me... and as his Wife. Because... unless he is a Fairy who can make magic instantly like in fairy-tales... that is life. And he better... grow up.
We have had our issues. Still do. But... I know, when it is my husband not being happy with HIMSELF... or if it is a "couple" problem and a me, problem.
Anyway... YOUR Husband himself... has to dig deep. He has to figure himself out. As you said, HE said he still loves you, is attracted to you.... but there just isn't any 'magic.'
tell your Husband... to grow up.
He ain't a child. He IS getting older... it is about time, he OWN his own issues with himself.
all the best,
Susan