Wow, lots of great responses! Here's mine =D :
My husband was in the Army on active duty for 5 years, as an MP (Military Police). He was asked to request 3 bases he would like to be stationed at either while he was in basic or in AIT (can't remember which) and he didn't get any of his requests, in fact he spent his first year of active duty overseas stationed in South Korea. I got the impression at the time that this was basically the norm (and yes, this was pre-9/11); they ask you for your preferences and then basically ignore it and put you where they need you. He did have a good time over there, though, experiencing a new culture and meeting new people and still talks about fond memories he has from Korea, so overall it wasn't that bad for him. We were then sent to Ft. Polk, Louisiana, which if anyone has been there they'll tell you how crappy of a base that is (small & isolated, 1-2 hours away from any cities with good amenities; we pretty much drove out of town every weekend because of that-- VERY poor economy in the area, etc)! lol Because of where we were stationed, we experienced an entirely different sort of Army, and we both really did not like it there. Had he been stationed at a larger/busier base like Ft. Collins, Colo. or Ft. Bragg, NC we probably would have been a lot happier (much better/bigger/more commissaries/post exchanges/other amenities, etc; near a prosperous town or city), but... this is where the sacrifice a previous poster was talking about comes in; not to mention when 9/11 occurred everything changed and he was deployed twice while on active duty and recalled from IRR status just under 2 years from when he had gotten "out" (make sure you ask a recruiter about this; in our experience, my husband's contract was for 5 years active duty and 3 years on Individual Ready Reserve; which basically means they still could call him up after getting "out" if they "needed" him; and they did!) He was deployed to Iraq for a year, with 6 mos extra training at Ft. Bragg; after he'd already gotten out and started his civilian life; we'd even bought a house. It was the worst 18 mos of my life, I will not lie. Thank God for my family otherwise I would have gone insane!
Overall, looking back, I think his active duty deployments for him made the experience worth it-- he was stationed in DC for 6 mos post-9/11 and then to Guantanamo Bay (he hated the job but loved the ocean; while he was there he got his SCUBA certification and went fishing a lot on his downtime-- he even caught a baby shark once! lol). Also, the training he received really did help him "grow up" (he was 19 when he enlisted) and become the man he is now (as cheesy as that sounds!).
My point for telling you all this is that being a military wife/family does have its good points and its bad points; these days especially the threat of deployment is a hard one to deal with. My husband always always has said that he wishes he'd gone Air Force only because they treat their people better and their deployments are shorter. (he was gone 6 mos, then 1 year, then 18 mos, respectively, over his 3 deployments). I believe the Air Force has as part of their "rules" if you will that no soldier is deployed longer than 6 mos (I think that's the number I heard). In the Army (especially my husband's unit) it sometimes felt like him and the rest of his unit were just bodies if you will; like the playing pieces on the RISK game board! Politics was also rampant in his unit so he had to deal with that; but, again, this changes depending on the people in your unit, just like any job.
The job security & income is something I really do miss! As well as the health care. We would have had to pay for vision and dental for me and chose not to (we should have tho!). Looking back, that *almost* made the whole experience worth it. I also LOVED living in Louisiana; not the area we were in, but the towns nearby (w/in an hour or two; and then of course New Orleans!), the weather, and it is truly a beautiful state; Cajun food-- the REAL stuff! The flowers blooming every spring were gorgeous, and we were able to visit some amazing plantation homes as well as a weekend marriage retreat in New Orleans, where we got to enjoy the French Quarter! (pre-Katrina; yeah I'm totally dating myself here lol).
Also, I think the references to being able to choose your job or not choose it are both correct. For the Army, my husband took an aptitude test that placed him in a certain range of jobs he could do; MP being one of them (which was what he wanted to do luckily) but he would not have been able to be, say, an intelligence officer, because his score wasn't high enough. So you DO get to choose your job, but only within their assessment of your skills (At least that's how it was when he was going through the process). Which makes sense to me because honestly, despite the fact that they need people, they need good people who are capable of doing the job.
Anyways, a lot of your questions will be answered by a recruiter when you go talk to them. Just do be aware that while they may not lie per se, it is in their best interest to do (or say!) what it takes to make your husband sign that dotted line. In our case, my husband's recruiter did actually lie to him (which in retrospect we really should have known better; it was a timing issue regarding his leave after basic/tech school) but I also have a good friend who was a recruiter for about 3 years and I am pretty sure he was always honest with his guys and he enjoyed recruiting for the most part.
I know this is long, and sorry! I have very strong feelings about the topic (I think a lot of current & former military wives do!). If you're a member of Facebook or MySpace you can probably find a group of military wives on there, or if you're a member of any parenting/family websites that have discussion boards, you can probably find groups on there (if you haven't already). That is always a good resource as well. Everyone will have stories to tell and everyone will love to tell them to you; but everyone has a different experience, so in the end it's truly up to you & your husband as to whether the military is a good fit for your family. Talk to recruiters from each branch and try to get a full picture of what each branch can offer. The military can be a very beneficial experience for everyone and each branch has its strengths and weaknesses.
Good luck with this major decision, and if you choose to join (believe me, YOU are joining too, it's not just him!!), good luck with that as well! =)