Hi all,
I lost my grandmother's wedding/engagement ring set last month. She passed away 8 years ago and it was a daily reminder of her. I feel HORRIBLE.
Fortunately, insurance covers the ring. I can get a replacement ring or take the insurance money. My husband says it's completely my decision. What would you all do?
A little context -- we've been very fortunate to both continue to have work in this economy. But the insurance money would cover a necessary home project that we aren't sure how else we can pay for.
I'm wondering: if I get a "replacement" ring, will I look at it and be reminded every day that I lost the original? If I don't get a replacement, will I regret not having the ring remade? I know I'm the only one who can answer that, but this is such a wonderful group I'm hoping some of you can share your thoughts about what you might do.
Thanks.
First off -- thank you all for your insight.
I decided to NOT have the ring remade. I had recently had my grandmother's portrait framed, which -- as several of you pointed out -- is a nice way to honor her and be reminded of her daily. (The family joke is that the artist took two liberties with the painting: lightened her hair and enlarged the diamond in the ring :-)
Instead we'll put the money into savings. This summer most likely it will be used to repair our massive chimney, which is in such bad shape it has a small tree growing out of the top. Yes, really. (The estimate we had gotten last summer is almost EXACTLY the amount insurance will pay -- so maybe this was meant to be...) Here in Vermont keeping those fires burning is pretty darn important!
Thanks again to each and every one of you.
I think a replacement ring will have no sentimental value to you.....it was not her ring. If I was in this position, I would probably take the cash for the home project and look at a photo of my grandmother.
I would not get a replacement ring. My dad lost his wedding ring, they got a replacement one and it never felt the same to him.
The sentimentality of the ring is that she touched it, wore it, loved it. If you got a ring that looked a lot like it, the sentiment wouldn't be there. Perhaps, you can get a pretty locket or something instead you can wear as a reminder, and put that money towards something that is really needed.
Sometimes things happen for reasons we can't explain. If you are truly in need of the money, then take it and use it for the purpose you described to better your circumstances for you and your family. I'm sure grandma would understand. She is already in your heart - nothing will ever change that.
So sorry :(
The ring is gone...no replacement ring will change that. Use the money for your project and also to buy a beautiful frame for a photo of your grandma and have it professionally matted. Hang it in your home where you will see it every day!
I'm sorry and had a similar incident recently but was lucky enough to find my ring. I would sit quietly and picture yourself living with both choices and see if either feels more right. If that doesn't help, I would spend on the home improvement and if you can afford it later, replace the rings then. You said this is a necessary improvement so you're going to have to pay for it somehow. Use this money for awhile and if it bothers you later, figure out a way to replace the ring then. No big hurry.
I think you should take the $ and do your home improvement project ~ I know my Gma would have wanted me to do that!!
I am very sorry you have lost this treasure. But I do not think replacing it will fill the void. The sentimental value will not be in a replacement ring.
Every time you see/use your home improvement you can smile and thank Gma for it!!
I'm sorry you lost your ring... I would probably choose the $ for the home project over replacing the ring. I too believe that things happen for a reason. Even tho the ring meant a lot to you, perhaps the loss was a needed life event so that you could get the money for the home improvement.
Hugs
M.
The ring is what she left you. If you're not dying to have a new ring then I would take the insurance money and put it towards a house project.
I would maybe try to view it differently. If you are a spiritual person...maybe your grandmother wanted to help you out with something more substantial than the ring so this is a hidden opportunity...and it was lost for a purpose. I know it doesn't make it any easier...but maybe this is some help that she thought you needed...wherever she may be maybe she is still looking out for you.
What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? If it were mine, I know she would want me to make that home project! Buying another ring won't bring the sentiment that the other one did.
I'm so sorry that you lost the ring...I know how much that can hurt! But do what you think your grandmother would want you to do!
Was that the set you used as Your wedding set? If Not, then I would take the insurance $$ and use it on our home. Maybe it was "meant to happen" - I know that sounds Terrible But.........
I feel badly that your having to deal with this. xoxox
I wouldn't buy an exact replacement, but perhaps a different ring, something you like, and then have it engraved with her name or in memory of. Then you will have something to pass down to your children as an heirloom.
So sorry for your loss. In my view, there's no replacing the rings with anything similar. I know my grandma would urge me to tackle the house project as it would ultimately benefit the entire family. I recommend you find a special place in your new project to hang a picture of grandma, hopefully one that shows her rings. It an opportunity for a fresh start!
Ask yourself if it was YOUR ring and your granddaughter lost it and was facing the same decision, would it bother you if she took the money and used it for something she and her family needed? I'm betting not. I'm also betting if your grandma were still alive and you went to her and said "grandma I need money" she would sell the ring to help you out. I know I would. Things are things...nothing can replace the memories.
I would do both. Reserve some money for a special reminder, like a small solitary stone pendant. I have my grandmothers engagement ring too and to replace it would be futile, but maybe get a nice single solitary pendant in her birth stone. That will symbolize your love and connections with her and still be able to update your home. I'm sure a day may come where you sell the home and then there will be no token of your grandmother.
Get the ring remade. That way you can still have something that at least looks like the real deal. The 'home improvement' seems insensitive. Wouldn't that also be a daily reminder? Seeing some improvement at the expense of a family treasure? Sure the real deal is gone, but a likeness can be made, so do it.
I am so sorry you lost your grandmother's wedding ring set. My home was broken into 2 months ago and they stole my grandmother's wedding set (left to me when she passed years ago), all gold and silver jewelry and my wedding set and my late husband's ring. I had plans to pass my wedding set and late husband's on to our 3 children when they became old enough.
I understand the significance of the ring in your heart... you can get a new ring but it isn't the same...the emotional piece to the ring isn't there. I am taking the insurance money and will pay bills with it.
I too think on terms of spirituality and feel that the universe says ... "move on" !
you are right that nobody can make the decision but you, my feeling is that the replacement ring would not have the same sentimental value and can not really be repaced - you would have a replica but it would not be the same. keep in mind that by taking the cash instead you may not get as much as you think, they way insurance usually works is that they pay you the amount they could have it made for or the value on the insurance - which ever is less. so if you have it insured for $5000 and they can get the piece remade for $3500 you will only get $3500 from them. be sure to ask them what the cash price is before you make your final decision. good luck - I am sure this is a difficult choice but you will make the right decision for you.
Hi H.-- if the ring is still missing, please contact me about a new TV project where psychics try to help people find missing valuables. ###-###-####.. thanks!
