My mom and dad divorced when I was young. I really don't have a love relationship with my dad. BUT LOVE MY MOM Dearly and we are very very close. He left my mom for another women and has been married too her for 20 years now. My mom is single and happy. I have the wedding ring and have had it for a long time....it just sits. No other siblings wanted it. It is like there is not
a special bond to this ring. The marriage is ruined and there is pain and anger there for that... ( but forgiven pain and anger :0) ) What do you do with this ring ? It is not something you wear and be proud to pass down to my kids.... even to keep the diamond.... is there a point ?
Is there another way to view this ? What would you do with it .
My mother had the diamond removed from her first wedding ring and reset in a charm for a necklace. It is very beautiful and she designed the setting with the help of a jeweler. The gold was melted for the setting. Just a thought.
Sell it and use the $ you get from it to buy your mom something nice for Mother's Day!
~EDIT~
There is another way to look at it though...that diamond symbolizes what once was a great love...great in the sense that it made you and your siblings!
Would your mom be offended if you took the stone and had it reset? It might actually make a nice Mother's Day gift for her, if it wouldn't bother her.
I have a ring that was given to me by my grandmother. I used to wear it all the time (now I only wear my wedding set). The stone is from her wedding to my grandfather (my Dad's dad). They divorced as my dad reached his teen years. Somewhere along the line, the stone was reset into a very pretty ring that she wore later. Not as a wedding ring, just as a pretty ring.
It was given to me as a young teen. I treasure it. Especially now that my grandma is no longer with us. I also have the wedding set that HER mother wore (which was the ring of HER mother that was cut in half, for each of her daughter's to have to wear). My dad only has one sister, and she has no children. So, since these things had been passed down through the women in the family for a few generations, my aunt gave them all to me.
Perhaps you could do something like that? Or if not reset into a different ring, maybe into a pendant?
You do not want to carry baggage into your wedding. Get a ring you will cherish and that represents what you love. If it's okay with your mom, you could take the diamond and maybe even trade it in for an upgraded one to use on your ring. I worked at a fine jewelers store and women did this all the time.
Now, I don't think the diamond is a total loss... out of that marriage blossomed wonderful children. So, if it were me, it would not bother me to reuse the diamond, but like I said, if it bothers you, then don't use it.
Have the stones removed and maybe made into something like a necklace for yourself. When that ring was given to your mom it was out of love and from that love, you were made. I might not the ring either being as the marriage ended, but in a sense, it is a piece of where you came from. I would alter into something new that I love and wear it. Or alter it and give it to your mom as a gift.
Hi, the ring does represent something. I remind my parents when they decide to "go negative"...4 kids & 6 grand kids couldn't have been all bad, that should over rule any negative. I don't have much use or tolerance for negative, even my own- LOL
I'm just sayin' : ).
K
If I were your mom, I would sell it and put the money to good use. Or maybe you could sell it for her (if she doesn't mind) and do something special for your mom. That would be much better than keeping a ring that is associated with such bad memories.
Why don't you ask your mom what her feelings are about it.
I would keep it. I wish I had something from my parents marriage. I havent seen any picture or rings or anything & I would love something. (and they ended up HATING each other) I would just keep it in one of my boxes of mementos & pictures. But thats me.
I would get a ring that you totally love, and then take your mothers ring and make something else with the diamond. Put it on a necklace or in a bracelet. Create something with your mom and use that as a new piece of jewelry. I would definitely get a ring that is new and represents something to you and your new love. The ring I think would be awesome if you and your mom created a piece of jewelry that you could pass down to your kids with pride.
would your mom be hurt or upset if you sold it? I wouldn't want my mom and dad's ring either, it was an unhappy marriage, and I certainly wouldn't consider it an "heirloom". If you are unsure, ask your mom what she wants you to do with it? If she says "i don't care" - I personally would get it cleaned and sell it... and do what you will with the money.
If she really wants you to keep it... stick it in a drawer for her sake. I know MY mom would not mind if I sold her jewelry. Someday I will probably inherit my grandmothers' rings from both sides, and THOSE I will keep and cherish, because they are a real symbol of lasting, committed, true love. I will offer them to be used as wedding bands for my daughters or granddaughters (depending on the timing) but those I WOULD insist on "keeping in the family".
Thankfully jewelry is small... at least you aren't worrying about heirloom furniture is this question!
-M.
I have 1 of my mom's biological mom's engagement rings and my sister has the other (she was married twice) -- we just keep them and haven't decided what to do with them....but my mom's adoptive ring, upon my grandma's passing, my mom had turned into a pendant for herself and sets of earrings for my sister and me (it had 1 central diamond and 4 side diamonds). If it has a nice stone, I would suggest getting it re-set. If not, I would either hold onto it as a reminder or sell it.
Your kids may see it as "grandma's ring" which may seem special to them. Your kids will not see all the negatives about grandma's ring. Without it would you be here, would they be here? How would you feel if you could have had a ring from your grandmother? Maybe you'd want it, maybe not. Not sure how old your kids are, but I'd wait until they are old enough to help make that decision.
Sell the ring.
Or, take the ring and have it remade into a different piece of jewelry (ring or pendant or whatever you like).
Biggest factor to weigh is -- would you (or your kids) regret not having the ring later? Or would you be reminded of the negatives everytime you look at it even if it is remade into something different?
maybe save it for the kids to somehow use. my wedding ring set from my first huband i'm saving for our kids. the wedding band was my great grandma's 60th anniversary band. its just a plain wide gold band but has sentimental reasons for keeping it. i thought my daugher could use it for herr ring and her finance could get his own engagement ring for her. and my engagement ring was very large and expensive and thought i'd save it for my son to either use the diamonds to have reset or the ring as is. so i'm just keeping them for them if they decide they want them. i just want to make sure they stay in the family!
