Looking for Advice!

Do what you want, but I will tell you I have meet couple of women you have had a abortion and all regret it. Adoption is wonderful, I am adopted, my birth mother loved me soo much she thought what was best for me not her and let me have a much better life than she could have gave me. There are many wonderful couples that would love to adopted. I love my birth mother for giving me life and then letting me have wonderful parents that gave me a great life.

jo

I personally wouldn't have an abortion. I do not believe in abortion. Why kill an innocent young child? They didn't do anything wrong! If you want the baby, keep it. Don't listen to everybody else!!!

Good luck!

you said you are happy about being pregnant again right? Well, then have that baby. Keep that baby. Don't worry about what everyone else says. People told me to do that with my two but I didn't and now I love those two beautiful little girls more than life itself. If you want the baby keep it. Screw everyone who tells you otherwise.

I may get in a little trouble for posting my feelings on this but I'm ok with that.......

To me it sounds like you children's father is being a selfish asshole.....what your sister is thinking I don't know.......

It is YOUR body do what YOU feel is right in YOUR heart!!! Don't base a decision like this on what others think!!! Only YOU know what you can handle in life!

S.,
The pain and regret of having an abortion will follow you the rest of your life. You'll look at your children and think of the child you aborted. Please see this pregnancy through. You said yourself you were happy about it when you found out you were pregnant. Do not let others influence your decision or you won't be able to live with yourself. It's only your third kid, not your thirteenth. Yes, being a single mother is a concern and if everything were ideal and perfect, no one would be having children outside of a perfect marriage. But it's not and you have to make the best of it. Don't make it worse by aborting the life inside you. You have so much to give and that child will be important in so many people's lives if given the chance to live. God bless!

Hi S.,

You're message is a little vague so I am assuming that this pregnancy has occured with a new man, who isn't really wanting a pregnancy.
You have the father of your children saying this is a bad idea, you are a single mom and probably financially struggling already. Close?

I am totally against abortion, I will tell you I have a 21 month old, a 9 month old and 12 weeks pregnant and boy, I had more than one person ask me if I was keeping it.
I was shocked! I guess some people are very liberal about that stuff.

I would suggest, if you can not care for this child, consider adoption. There is open adoption where you can see the baby if you want to.
There are so many childless couples out there who would love and care for this baby and give it a GOOD life.

My step mother was adopted and looked up her birth mother after her adoptive mother died - out of respect to her adoptive mother. They became very close as adults and she never resented her for giving her to her adoptive parents.

It is the selfless thing to do, selfish is abortion.
The baby doesn't need to die if you can not financially or emotionally care for him or her right now, don't you think?

Amy

S.,
You will be in my prayers! As someone who has had past difficulty becoming pregnant, let me tell you....when you are given a baby by God, you are given that baby for a reason! God has a perfect plan for every child who is in the womb. Many children have been born into the world without the "Perfect" situation around them. Many of them grow up to be influential people in the world. Down the road you have no idea what could have been unless you allow your child to have life. Please remember, many on this earth will tell you that it is your decision to choose abortion or life (and it legally is.) However, you will also have to deal with the consequences of choosing abortion - regret and judgement before God. I will continue to pray for the birth of your child and the wonderful life he or she has ahead. God bless!

Please don't get an abortion. You will live with that for the rest of your life. I can tell you this...I was at a point of my life that I had it all! I have a job that travels different parts of the country, I just moved to Ohio, not knowing but a couple of people, but not people that I could truly call my friends, and I just met a man that I thought was a great man. Well, I slept with him a couplre of weeks after my arrival, and BAM!!!! I got pregnant. I found out that the great man was all talk, no walk, and I felt alone. My mom called me stupid and thought that I should get an abortion, and so did the father.

I decided to be happy about being pregnant. Later on, God blessed me with people that opened their hearts to me and now I have people that I can trust to watch my beautiful daughter as I go away for a couple of days with my job. I had her in March 08! I am so blessed and and my mom loves her to death. Her father wants to be around and I let him, but it took awhile.

Your baby came from God, don't give up on your blessing!!! Your baby came for a reason and He will supply you with everything to take care of your baby!

S.,
Congratulations! You actually have a beautiful human being inside of you growing and completely relying on you for everything. I don't know why but there's a reason God has given you this child. I can tell from your e-mail that you already love this baby and your heart wants to keep it. You do exactly that. You keep this baby or you will never forgive yourself. Don't let anyone change your mind. No one but you knows the connection that you have with this baby inside of you. My other piece of advice is that if you feel having this baby would be a horrible financial strain then immediately upon birth give him or her up for adoption but don't kill it. Who knows maybe God is allowing you to carry this baby for another couple who can't have kids. Then again, God may want you to raise this baby. I would encourage you to get a Bible and read Psalm 139:13-16. It's such a beautiful passage and I really think this will help solidify the decision for you. I'll be praying for you S. and for your baby.
L.

First & foremost, what is your capability financially to handle another child. HONESTLY, not ideally!

Second, I TOTALLY disagree with the baby's father. I have a friend who's adopted two children in less than a year. One last May and the other less than a month ago. There are PLENTY of parents who're dying to adopt children and can financially give them everything they need, materially as well as love & guidance.

PUT THE WELFARE OF THE CHILD FIRST!!! Lastly, what are you two teaching your children??? If you are not married and continue to co-habitate, etc.....that does NOT give them any sense of commitment, values, etc. I'd re-think your situation and what that says to them and their future.

Just because you "love someone" doesn't mean that's enough. It takes MUCH more!

In speaking from somewhat experience, my husband and I became pg with twins while we were still engaged. We got married before i had the boys and then began our life together. We hit many obstacles along the way including money and such wchich caused us to fight alot. Granted we got along, we were on the verge of breaking up when we found that we were pg with another baby. I didnt want ot bring the baby into thw world with us ffighting and such though i am soooo against abortion. In my eyes, i had gotten pg for a reason (we were carefull as could be on birth controll and everything). On down the road we found that the baby had a congenital heart defect and of course the first thing my mother in law said was "cant you give it up and have an abortion?" I was 7 7 months pg at the tiem. In the long run, we had tehe baby and he's the best thing that oculd have happened. He's truely a special little miracle and i dont regret it one bit though it is hard. follow your heart....i wouldnt take the abortion route if you are one bit hesitant on it.

You've had 2 kids, so you know that all your instincts are telling you to protect this baby. If you don't want another child, there are millions wanting to adopt that can never know the joy of having their own child.
Did you hear the story of the mom that was shot in the stomach while working at a bank? She was carrying twin girls. They died later at the hospital due to complications from the surgery she had to have. She was 5 months pregnant. They can't charge the guy with murdering them, because at that stage abortion is still legal and that would make abortion murder. So, when you hear this story and you think "that's outrageous; her babies were murdered", then you know abortion is murder too.
You will never forgive yourself.
Please, have the baby. If you go through private adoption, you can have all your expenses paid. The couple can be there at the hospital to take the baby as soon as it is born.
If you can't bring yourself to give up the baby, then that proves how much you love it already. If it is finances that are bothering you, believe me you will be fine. Things always work out and with 2 older siblings to pass things down, it won't be hard.
(I am a mother of 3 and I wish I had had at least one more)

I know two couples right now in the Akron area that would give your baby a loving home! One is the kind of couple that you think it's such a shame they can't get pregnant because they'll be such terrific parents. The other couple has two children but lost a son at 15 months old and are now unable to conceive again. They have so much love to give! Neither couple is wealthy, but I believe if a situation were to come up where they had someone that wanted them to be the adoptive parents, many, many people would contribute the money needed to make it happen. If you would like further information about either couple, please just ask. We'll have to find out if there are rules about communicating like this ahead of time, but it would delight me as their friend to pursue the possibility.

S.~
First, Congratulations on the good news! A new little life is forming inside you - what a gift!

Regarding your family/friends . . . they appear a bit confused right now. You need to talk with someone who will give you unbiased and well-educated advice. I encourage you to check out a Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area. I noticed you are in Cleveland and did a little searching - check out:

http://www.clevelandpregnancyhelp.org/

They even have phone number where someone is available 24 hrs to listen to your story and offer help - ###-###-####.

If you are not familiar with Crisis Pregnancy Centers, they can offer a wealth of support, information, and even material help. Don't be bothered by the term "Crisis Pregnancy" either, they are available to help anyone and offer sound advice for any situation.

I am praying for you!
~H.

S., do not let you family and friends pressure you into killing your baby- you know in your heart that you have created life and that child deserves a chance to live. i admire you for having to stand your ground against the pressures of those poeple closest to you. you did not mention much about your own situation, but if you do feel as though you are unable to geive your baby the future that it deserves, or that you are simply unable to care for another child at this point, adoption is a BEAUTIFUL and SELFLESS (not selfish!) thing to do. what better act of love is there than to deovte 9 months of your life to carrying that sweet child and then giving it a chance at a future better than you can provide, with a loving family who have been waiting to meet him/her for so long? whatever you decide, please do not abort. it is something you will regret down the road when you think of your unborn baby and will not be able to "undo". i am praying for you and your strength!

Dear S., I only read the first two replies, this is too close and personal to my heart. I will adopt your baby , please dont do it. We lost our youngest at 75 days of age, to SIDS, she was our forth, we thought we were done. Then our beautiful, precious, much loved daughter passed in her sleep. Our lives are still devestated, almost 3 years later. Including our children. Then, my step daugter got pregnant with twins, carried them until 3 days before it became illegal, had an abortion. I dont know you, but I promise you, 2 things. One you will regret it, I am for free choice in cases of rape or incest,you seem to want this child, and 2, we will adopt it if that is what you choose. Please give this baby a chance. Please keep me updated, your post really hit my heart. May God Bless You, and your family, A.

I have to be honest and say that I have very strong feelings against abortion. I do believe that there are certain circumstances that would make abortion acceptable (rape, young ages etc.) However you are married and have two children already and after knowing your children could you picture your life without them or killing thme (sorry if that is aggressive) but it is true. Also if your husband does not want to have anymore kids then he should get "fixed" what will you do the next time you end up pregnant? You cant just keep getting abortions.
As for the adoption idea, there are so many men and women out there who would love to adopt a child of their own. But do you mind if I ask why you cannot keep this baby?

Congratulations on your third child! I advise against an abortion. At this point your baby is fully formed. It has a heart beat, it moves, it can hear you, it has feelings. It is attached to you. You are everything to this little one. I can tell you that I have talked to many, many women that have had an abortion in their twenties and are now in their forties and up and they ALL regret it. The agony and pain that they are going through is really sad. And all of them say that they have taken a life - the life of their own child. Keep your baby, bring it into this world and raise it the best way you know how to. Sure, it'll be tough with three little ones but they won't stay little for long and it'll get easier. I would also suggest that you find a support group and surround yourself with people that love you and all of your kids and support you in your decision to keep the baby.

Abortion shouldn't even be an option this far along in the pregnancy. The survival rates of preemies has skyrocketed in the past few years. There are babies being born at 25-26 weeks who are fine. Heck, there was a 21 week baby a year or so ago that was fine. This close to 'viability', abortion can be considered murdered because there's a good chance of the baby being able to make it on their own.

If you don't want the child, then consider adoption. There are many loving couples who struggle for years with fertility and then decide to adopt. The waiting list can be very long... I have friends who have been on a wait list for adoption for 3 years.

If you decide to keep the baby, it will be hard. You'll need help from friends and family but it doesn't sound like they are interested (seeing as they want you to kill the baby). You'll need to create a support group before the baby is born... good friends you can call on to help babysit, help with meals, help with the other kids, etc. You can do it, but it'll be very hard the first year or so with 2 other young children. There is no easy answer.

I also had a boy and a girl when I became pregnant again, and I couldn't believe the comments I received! Now that I'm older and more experienced, I realize that the reason why most people made negative comments was because I made a choice that they themselves didn't/wouldn't make and it made them uncomfortable for whatever reason. In other words, they were more concerned about the discomfort they felt rather than how I felt about my situation. It must be very difficult to have the father of your first two children be negative about this. However, you are the one who will have to live with the consequences of your choices, and if you allow others to persuade you to abort a child you yourself want, you will regret that decision the rest of your life.

I personally have gotten pregnant when my husband didn't feel ready for another child (which drove me crazy since he didn't want to get a vasectomy). However, once that baby was born, it was a blessing to us both. I pray that those around you will also be blessed by the birth of your third child. May God give you the strength to do what you know is right, and may He bless your courage and love for your children. You have my prayers.

Before you have an abortion, you should really do some research and see what your baby looks like at 20 weeks. At 20 weeks I was able to see my baby, all her internal organs, and gender. Through ultrasound of course. At 20 weeks your baby really is a baby. If you feel that you can't handle another child right now, please consider adoption. There are so many people out there that are unable to have their own child.I'm sure you'd be able to find a good home for him or her. I can't believe that your family would support an abortion at this stage in the pregnancy. Is it even legal to have an abortion after the first trimester?

NO NO NO NO Listen to your heart and never do an abortion. Don't let anyone tell you to do this. I have a niece who did have an abortion and now many years later it is praying on her mind knowing that she shouldn't have done this. IF you do anything PLEASE have the baby and give it up for adoption. Another story of mine. My sister did give her baby up for adoption in 1965 and was not allowed to look for the baby. I her older sister after35 years I ask if I could look for her and finally after thinking about it gave me permission to look. I DID and a little less than one year I found my beautiful niece over the internet. My niece said she is very thankful that my sister gave her life. My sister thanked me for giving her life back to her and her daughter.

the only thing i can add to this is that i am against abortion... unless there are extreme health risks early on. with that said, this baby didn't ask to be created, it happened. this is a baby now, not a tiny little alien gummy bear. you can see it's organs, see the sex, feel it flutter and move. how many people are out there that have tried for years and years to have a child and just couldn't? there are so many unfortunate couples that would love for a baby to be offerered to them. i just think that you would regret looking into your childrens eyes one day thinking "what if you were a consideration for an abortion, but you had the opportunity to live". obviously the opinions you are gonna get on here aren't going to be very kind. you are asking a question that most women are so against. and your reasons for doing it are so selfish. ultimately it's your body, your life, your decision but if you have gone this far i think you can stick it out for 20 more weeks and give this baby to a family that wants a child and can't! sorry if this is offensive to you, but i am pregnant myself right now with a 2 1/2 yr old and i could never imagine aborting my child cause my boyfriend doesn't want it, or for any other reason! it was my act to have sex, my act to get pregnant, my act to carry out the pregnancy and give this helpless baby a life!

My prayers are with you S.. You did not say why the father and your sister are saying that you should not have this baby, but I believe that EVERY baby is a precious gift from God and deserves the chance to live. Adoption is a beautiful option if there is some reason why you are unable to care for this child. There are so many families just aching for a baby, and you could give them such a precious gift and give your child life.

Hi S.,

Absolutely DO NOT have an abortion! Sorry, I'm totally biased when it comes to this. I don't care what your baby's father says, there is never a reason that adoption makes no sense over abortion. There are so many loving families out there that have been waiting and praying for a child - yours could be it! I happen to have some very close friends that tried for 2-3 years to have a baby and then waited on pins and needles for 1 year before finally being able to adopt their daughter. There just isn't a shortage of people for your baby. If you aren't able to keep and raise the baby then I would 100% go for adoption.
Wish you luck!

follow your heart and do what you believe is best. don't let other people tell you what to do.

my mom works for a fabulous adoption agency if you want to go that route, she often places unexpected 3rd children with wonderful and loving parents who have been waiting years for their baby.
itsaboutlove.org

You found out and you were very Happy, stay that way and Please don't abort your child. Sounds like the childs Father wants no attachments to his salary if you know what I mean. It doesn't matter you are single.Your child is your child and no one can replace them.Love them and care for them and some day you will reap the benefits of grand children.

I didn't come at a convenient time for my parents. They were young, unmarried and probably had other plans than having a child at that time. They could have chosen an easy out and had an abortion...but, man, I'm so glad that they didn't take that easy out! My husband and two children are glad, too. My sister is glad. My friends are glad. My co-workers are glad. One life has such an impact in the world... I don't believe we have the right to terminate what God has initiated.

Start to talk to those agencies that handle adoptions and see what's involved in that process... maybe you could have an open adoption and still stay involved in the child's life. There are lots of people out there willing to help--please seek them out. I also agree that if you've decided that your family is big enough, then either you or the father should get sterilized.

You may get a lot of frustrating responses because many feel like abortion is a sin, etc. I do as well, but I realize some may not feel this way, so let me speak from a practical standpoint.

There are millions of families who cannot have children that would love a healthy baby. If you can't raise the child, I would consider this option. Also, as a child born to a young, unwed single woman, I am thankful. As it turned out, God blessed with a wonderful man and created a wonderful family. Since you didn't think about this BEFORE having sex, you now have someone else to consider besides yourself and the father. Take some time while you are carrying the baby to consider the options and try not to make a quick decision while your emotions may be a little overboard.

This is ultimately your decision. Even though there is a father involved, if you the two of you aren't committed to a life together, then you are the only one with legal rights to the baby.

I do hope you'll listen to yourself and not put an end to a childs life. I'm glad my mama did...

Wow, it seems like you are having a rough time. I am, as I like to say:pro-baby, pro-family, pro-choice. That said, I believe if you are 20 weeks, you are just about to the point of no return as far as abortion goes. Personally, I could not ever get an abortion. My third child was a surprise (since babies should never be considered a mistake) despite using condoms, the family planning method AND still lactating. I thank God every day for bringing her into my life. Sure it is hard, but every person who loves their kids can make it thru. I am an advocate of adoption, although I don't know if I could personally give up a baby that had grown inside of me for 9 months, my advice would be to pray/meditate/think seriously about your options, and go from there. I think that if you do something you aren't 100% sure of about this pregnancy, you will begin to doubt/dislike yourself, and that won't do anybody any good!

my thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time of your life.

I hope you don't choose abortion. You have already 2 children, I am sure you absolutely love them more than anything in the world. You will feel the same about the 3rd. And if not, there are several families who would love to give your child the best life possible. Aborting at this stage in a pregnancy is absolutely crazy. I work in an OB unit and we have babies born at twenty something weeks and live, They do feel pain and I hope that you can at least let it be born and decide from there the best choice for you and your family.

This is strictly your choice. If you want to keep this baby then you should. Just prepare in this time to be able to support yourself and you new one if people don't support your decision.

As to adoption. Are you wanting to consider that? I believe every child is somebody's gift. My friend's oldest child is definitely a gift to her even though she has a different birth mother.

I'm so happy you decided not to have an abortion! Just to re-inforce that you are making the right choice, I just learned about the "Silent No More Awareness Campaign" that you might want to check out on-line. They are a group of women who have had abortions and now are opening up about the long-term effects that these abortions have had on them. There are testimonies on the website: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/
God bless you and your babies!
J. B

S., it does not matter what the people around you want, it is what you want. if you truely want to have an abortion and feel that this is the best choice for you, than that is the right one, but if people are pressuring you into having an abortion and you want to raise the child or put the child up for adoption after it is born than you need to do that. I know people who have made all of these different choices and have lived happy full lives following them. The only women i know that regret their choices (whatever one they made) were the ones who did not follow their heart and make the right choice for themselves. Follow your heart and you will find the right answer for yourself.

You really should be talking to someone in Mental Health Dept. I am sure Mamasource will give you good advice but, you sound like you need Professional help. good luck with what ever you decide.

S.,

It sounds as if you need to surround yourself with more loving, supportive, and responsible people. Someone else mentioned joining a support group--excellent idea!

You are in my prayers. May you have the strength and courage to do what's right for you and your baby.

I say that you need to do what YOU want. I believe in personal choice, tho I don't know if I could have an abortion, I just do not believe I have the right to make that decision for anyone else. Adoption is another choice, I have 2 siblings that were adopted and they were just as loved as we were. It seems as a single mom you are already adept at juggling. I will keep you in my prayers and be in support what ever you decide. God loves all.

I do believe abortion should be legal for certain situations but it is NOT a method of birth control. You already have two beautiful children and you will regret aborting this baby. The dad is being selfish and your sister isn't thinking of the big picture. You have to do what is best for you and your kids.
I am a single mom of two - divorced for quite some time now. My children are my world. Yes, it can sometimes be a financial struglle but it's worth it. Good luck S.!

S....
I commend you for not wanting an abortion. You are already halfway through your pregnancy, probably feeling movement, etc. God obviously has a plan for you and your baby, whether it is raising this beautiful child yourself or giving it to a loving family who will love it as their own and give it a wonderful life. I think you would be much happier knowing that you gave this baby a chance at life rather than living with the forever guilt of terminating it's innocent life. Please pray and ask God to show you the way....He loves you and He is there for you, especially in times like these. Blessings to you....

S.,
You said you are happy about the pregnancy. You ultimately have to listen only to you. Do not give in to peer pressure. While I have not been in the same situation, there are many things I have done in my life that I was told not to. Most of them, I did anyway and have no regrets. I think the decision you need to make is whether to keep and raise the child yourself or give it up for adoption. Only YOU can make that decision. Go with your heart and whatever decision you make will be the right one.

Why are they telling you to have an abortion?? Every baby is such a precious gift! If it's your third and you need some help....then you've got two already there that could help out!! And being single I'm sure that's really tough. I know you don't know me but I'd even be willing to help you out. I'm a stay at home mom with a little 1.5 year old. I have alot of free time! =0) You're the only one that can make the decision for an abortion, and if you don't want one, then ignore them!! If you need to talk more I'm happy to talk about this.

-A. M

I would advise against abortion, especially since your post suggests that it's not what you want. Most women find that the emotional effects of abortion are horrible, and live to regret the decision. It can also be harmful to your health as well. If you feel you can't raise the child yourself, and have the love in your heart, for it takes more love than people imagine, I would suggest adoption. There are so many good people out there who can't have their own children, waiting to adopt. They could give your baby a wonderful home where they would love and raise the child in a nurturing enviromment. Don't look on adoption as failure on your part. Look on adoption as the greatest gift of love one couple can give to another. Whether you decid to keep your child, or allow her/him to adopted, just remember that it's your decision and not someone else's. Don't allow someone to push you into an action that you don't want or feel uncomfortable with. Life is a miracle, love is a gift. Your own love, or that of another is the greatest blessing you can give your baby.

S., Do what feels right to you. My birth mom gave me up for adoption. I have nothing but respect for her. I think whether you keep the baby, or not, you should be the one to make the decision. J. ( Mom of 3)

A 20 week abortion??? How could that be medically advisable?
I'm wondering how you can be 20 weeks along and just found out. If you are happy about this why let other people influence your decision? Do you want the baby? Are you in a position to care for the child? If not there are thousands of couples who are going through all types of anguish attempting to have a child that would gladly give the child a home and all the love they have.

P. R

I think if your happy about the baby then that's all that should matter and your happy, right? so keep the baby.

I say go with what you feel. I feel it is the decision of the two people involved on how to deal with a pregnancy and it shouldn't matter to anyone else. I had an unexpected pregnancy with my boyfriend at 27 and never thought twice, turned out to have twins. Two when I wasn't planning for any but I wouldn't change anything for the world. There is alot of support out there for you no matter what you decide.

Hi S.,
I am not surprised to see that the responses so far have mostly been "have the baby." This responses I've read on this site indicate to me that about 70-80% of the readership is adamantly pro-life, and they seem to think that the decision that is right for them is the only right decision. I'm here to tell you that you need to make the right decision FOR YOU, and as long as you inform yourself of all the facts and seriously weigh the consequences, you can make either choice with no regrets.
Don't believe the people who tell you that you will necessarily regret the choice to have an abortion. I had an abortion and I DO NOT regret it; it was the decision that was right for me at the time. I have, in fact, had two pregnancies, and I made two different choices, both of which were absolutely right for me and my life. (My daughter was five years old when I got pregnant the second time.)
In your situation, you should do what YOU want to do. Don't let family or friends talk you into something. If you do consider abortion, make sure that you learn all you can about the procedure, including the details about the stage of pregnancy you are at, and make sure that you believe in your own heart that this is an acceptable choice for you. I think that I have no regrets because I faced these questions prior to my abortion.
Good luck to you, you can PM me if you want. :)

Dear S.,
I am happy for you and hope that you will decide to keep your baby.
If you are truly not able to care for it, then I am sure that a childless couple would be thrilled to give it a good life and plenty of love.
Try not to listen to the negative comments, but listen to your heart.
Best wishes.

Dear S.,
You say you are very happy about having your baby--so do it! My prayers are with you. Find out if your baby's father would be willing to at least get some relationship skills training (with you) so that you and he will have better skills to parent your child. There is a program in Cuyahoga County called Strong Start that provides relationship skill-building using a curriculum called Better Together.

Those who are telling you to do this are not considering all that comes along w/ an abortion. All they see is a quick fix. Please go w/ your heart! YOU are the one who will have to live w/ this for the rest of your life. You have a chance to do something great.

Good luck-

To start I do belive 12 weeks is the point of no return. Also it has to be souly your decision. 98% of the answers on here are pro life. I was pro choice once in my life. Speaking from experience not only is it physically painful but it is emotionally crippling. I made what i thought at the time was the best decision and i regret it every day.My heart has been broken ever since so if you have the slighest bit of doubt then stand up for you and that precious baby growing inside you and say no. I would hate for you to experience the pain that i live with every day. Like i said this has to be your decision and no one elses because you don't want to resent your husband or anyone else involed. If you want to talk email me and I will gladly chat with you. I will be praying for you.

Please don't have an abortion. We are a family formed by adoption and if my children's birthmoms had an abortion we would not have our beautiful children! If you are unable to care for this third child for any reason please consider adoption. It is such a loving choice. I have nothing but the utmost respect for our children's bm's. There are millions of couples like my husband and myself who will love a child unconditionally.

Whatever you do don't get an abortion. That is the wrong thing to do. If you don't think you can handle another child then by all means put the baby up for adoption. There are plenty of people who can't have children who would welcome a child into their home. Should you choose the abortion you will regret it because once the child is conceived it is a living breathing human being and that will go through your head for the rest of your life. It is your choice but if it were me I would do what my heart said and I would put the child up for adoption. At least with adoption you have a choice for an open adoption where the adoptive parents stay in contact with you and you may even be able to see your child. Abortion is the wrong way out. If you choose to not keep your child make a couple who can't have children of their own happy. Good luck! And remember don't listen to the rest of them. Don't abort the baby it will be the biggest mistake you could ever make.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

All I can say is DO NOT GET AN ABORTION! At 20 weeks, this child is almost fully formed and is a living human being (has been since conception) If you are not in a position to take care of another child, definitely give it up for adoption. There are so many couples out there that desperately want children. This is your opportunity to become a blessing to someone, not just another statistic.

You will never forgive yourself for having an abortion. It would be something that would haunt you for the rest of your life. With your baby being 20 weeks along it would feel the PAIN of being aborted. Don't do this to yourself or your innocent baby, PLEASE! If you decide you can't keep your baby, give it up for an open adoption where you could still keep tabs on it. Alot less guilt this way. God bless.

S.,
Here is my two cents worth. I'm making some assumptions, but I know there are some families that feel once you have a child it is your responsibility to raise it, whether you are ready or want to. Maybe that is where dad is coming from? And perhaps your family is advising abortion with the same thought process? Again, I'm guessing. When you are out shopping, you see too many children who are being yelled at, called names, etc because mom is too stressed out to deal with what she has, and didn't feel she could give her baby away for adoption. Sometimes the reason to keep a child has nothing to do with what is best for the child, but what seems to be best for the parent. Then they are so far into it that they can't back out. I would say only you know what you can handle. If you think you can handle 3 children, go for it, but make sure you have good birth control in place afterwards. If you know in your heart you are only able to handle two, but you love this new baby, then give it to another family who can raise it and love it. If it is an 'open' adoption, you can even request pics and updates on the child. And when the child is an adult, you can re-connect with your child. I don't know the exact laws, but my understanding is in Indiana you can't have an abortion after 20 weeks, so I dont' think you have that option in Indiana. Good luck to you, and I agree, do what feels best for you, because you are going to have to live with the decision for the rest of your life!

Hi S.,
Just wondering, You said you was happy about the pregnancy, right?! Your single...is the baby's father gonna be around? I think you should keep the baby if your happy about it and you want it! If you don't want another baby, but would like some good happy other couple to raise him/her, than put it up for adoption. There are people out there that would love to have a child of their own, but can't have one! I have 3 beautiful girls ages 12, 10 and 2 and I'm proud of all three of them. They are wonderful and I've learned alot about everyone of them and how diffrent they all are. So if anything, its YOUR decision on birthing/adopting/aborting! But since your pretty far along, I'd either keep the baby and raise him/her or put it up for adoption! The way I feel is its your body, its up to you! Aborting the child and later on having regrets on what it could've been, what would it look like? How he/she might act or be when they are older? If they ever become president or even governer? If they will fail in life or make a big diffrence! I couldn't live with the regret. I guess that would also go with adopting, but atleast later on in life if you both decide to seek each other out you could find out how they turned out! Give the baby a CHANCE! They don't chose to be brought into the world, they didn't chose to become a part of you or the father, they didn't chose to live or die (that's your CHOICE!) I will keep you and your children and unborn child in my prayers, any which way you choose to do so in life (with or without the baby), I will keep you all there. Good Luck!

I have been a foster parent for babies waiting for adoption. I strongly feel that you should consider placing your child for adoption if the birth father does not want him/her. I worked for LDS Family services and they are loving and supportive of birth moms, and find the best families for the babies. Open adoption has worked well for some families, where the birth family and the adoptive family agree to keep in touch as the child grows. Please , please do not consider aborting this child. There is a loving family just waiting for this baby. I have placed a beautiful baby girl into the arms of her new dad who waited ten years to become a parent. The joy we all felt was indescribable as these parents held their daughter for the first time. The phone # for LDS Family Services in the Columbus area is ###-###-####.

I'm curious as to why they are suggesting that you have an abortion. Do they think you can't handle another baby right now, or is it something else?

I will be honest with you about my thoughts. I am VERY much against abortion. That said, nobody else can make that choice for you. If you are happy about the idea of having another baby, then go for it. If you feel that you aren't in a good position to increase your family size, then I would consider adoption. Gifting a family who either cannot have their own children or who want to take in other children by adoption is a much better option than killing (YES, killing!) an unborn child.

If you just aren't sure what to do, maybe you should consider talking to a counselor at a Crisis Pregnancy Center or Planned Parenthood. The Crisis Pregnancy Center, I believe, is a Christian organization and will probably tell you that an abortion is not a good choice. Planned Parenthood will go over all your options with you.

I pray that your heart is opened to God's leading and that those around you would see this and respect what you choose to do and be more supportive instead of trying to dictate to you what you should do.

God bless,
A.

This is YOUR choice. No one can tell you what to do- including the father. It's your body, and your child.
In my opinion, everyone who is telling you to get an abortion is WAYYYY out of line. It's incredibly rude, insensitive, and just plain wrong.

If you are happy, then you know that you shouldn't get an abortion. If you want to put the baby up for adoption, that's a perfectly fine option. If you want to keep the baby, it will work out somehow.

Don't let people talk you into abortion. If you aren't absolutely 100% sure that you want an abortion, I'm sure that decision will haunt you. Tell those people that their comments are unwelcome.

I know this can be an argument starter, but I firmly believe that you have a BABY inside of you! You can hear the heartbeat, see her growing, feel her moving, I could go on and on. Please think about this little life that you have created together. This baby did not have a choice in the matter. PLEASE at least consider adoption. You are so blessed to be able to conceive a child; many women would die to be in your shoes right now. Remember that you are this baby's MOMMY and it is your choice to keep this baby if you choose.

Hi S.! You are blessed to be pregnant again! Whether you can keep the child or not, I personally feel that you should continue the pregnancy, and if you need to, give the baby to someone who can care and love it! Babies are a blessing! Sometimes they don't come at the most convenient time in your life, but it happens for a reason. Maybe a reason that we don't understand at this point, but they are here for a reason. Don't make any quick decision that you will regret and will be floating in your head for the rest of your life. That baby is a living soul, give it a chance to live. There are millions of parents who would be thrilled to love that child if you aren't able to keep it. I don't know your situation, but I know that there is a much better alternative than to end it's life. Pray about it and do what's in your heart! Your a mom, you know what it's like to love a child. Do what's best for the baby! Best of luck!!

honey do what your heart tells you..I personally do not believe in abortion so of course i will tell you to keep it besides you're too far along for most doctors to do it..but follow your heart and dont let anyone else influence your decisions.

Hi S.,

I'm a little confused....Do you want to keep the baby? Or have the baby and put it up for adoption? If you are happy about it, and feel you can handle another, you need to do what is right for you. Not your sister, or the baby's dad. Good luck.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Abortion is not the answer. It is never the answer. You are a mother and you know what is right; protect your child! If you feel you cannot provide for another child, there is a family who would be blessed by adopting your baby...and your baby would be blessed too.

Dear S.
Life is so so precious and if you feel you are unable to provide for this new life perhaps you could give the GREATEST gift by allowing another loving family to adopt the baby~~ I know this would be such a difficult thing to do but there are so so many people out there praying for miracles like this. GOD BLESS YOU and help you with your decision
clar

You have to listen to your heart not any body else's. You are the one that will have too live with the decision the rest of your life. If this baby is what you want then by all means go for it. Being a single mom is hard (I know I have done it)
but it does not mean that you can't do it nor that your failing your other children if you bring this baby into the world. Remember to listen to your heart and once you make your decision do not let the words of others get you down. Your a strong women and a great mother and you will do the right thing! God Bless!!

Please consider that if you miscarried at 20 weeks or after that it would be considered viable. I had a sister who had a burial for her baby at 20 weeks when she miscarried her, the hospital told her that was the viable limit and so it was treated as a human being. There are so many people out there that would love to adopt and now a days you have so much input to who you can choose as the adopting family if you so choose that route. Most likely if you may feel different after carrying it full term and may want to keep it. It is totally your decision and business. You should not let others convince you as it is what YOU will live with the rest of YOUR life. God bless you and good luck. My third was a suprise and she is the best yet!

I faced your decision 26 years ago. She was the best thing life ever gave me. There was some tough times but there were more wonderful times. I cannot imagine life without her.

WHAT??
I guess I have 2 seious problems with your statement:
First: You're 20 weeks pregnant and just found out??!!
Maybe I'm confused, but 20 weeks along is toolong to go without prenatal care and why didn't you notice before?
Were you trying to get pregnant??
Second: Abortion??? 20 weeks?? Not only is this illegal, but immoral!!!You have a human being growing inside you, depending on you for nutrition, oxygen, LIFE!! Have you done research on what they have to do for an abortion at 20 weeks?? If you are considering it I suggest you go to the library and get a medical journal/textbook and find out-it's brutal and painful for that baby!!
S., if you financially can't keep this baby, then look into adoption, open adoption, anything but killing it. There are lots of people out there who can't have babies and would love to have yours.
Please give this a lot of thought.
R.

hi! I also think that having an abortion is not the way to go. I work with a lady who has been trying to have a baby for seven years now. she has done everything even several rounds of in-vitro with no success. She has also been on an adoption list for over 2 yrs. now with things moving sluggishly. So every baby is such a miracle and if at this time in your life you are not ready for a third child. I think adoption is such a better answer b/c there are so many great families out there who are trying everything to have a child. Good luck with your decision it has got to be really hard for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi S.,
My heart goes out to you and your new little baby. I am a mother of a 15 month old litte boy who we love and adore very much. As I am not a supporter of abortions, I have to encourage you not to go that route. Your baby has a beating heart and at 20 weeks, your baby is well on it's way to being born into this world.

If you feel that you are unable to financially take care of your third baby, adoption is a wonderful solution even though your boyfriend does not agree. If you give your little joy the gift of life, you will be giving a blessed couple the joy of a family with your little baby.

If you would like to talk further, please feel free to email me at ____@____.com

Good Luck!
D.