I have been with my husband living for 5 years, and I am the mother of his 2 children, now he wants to throw me out on the street, since we are not legaly married, own nothing from all the wealth he built the last 3 years on our behalf, making us live at times on welfare and low income housing while he is collecting thousands and thousands, in a matter of 2 years he was able to buy 300k home in cash. I have little saved money account for my older children years before his marriage in case something happens to their dad but because their money is all under my NAME and their names, this husband wants me to spend it on his children when he makes like 14k A MONTH for the past 3 years.
He managed to kick me and the kids through out the court in 30 days, but we have our own home now and we are very happy in it.
I would see if you can put the other money in trust with the kids and an alternate adult on it. You can put in that they do not get it until a certain age,etc. Good luck to you!
I agree with the others. Get out now. Don't wait for anything. Just DO IT NOW. I know you may think some of us are over reacting, but it is better to over react than to under react. Get an attorney asap or ask a local womens shelter if they have access to attorneys who have experience with this type of situation.
Best of luck to you.
Jen M.
I would suggest putting their money in to a trust with their name. I think you should also contact a lawyer asap to figure out what your rights are. DO NOT tell your partner/husband. If he is abusing you then you also have the option of going to CASA (St Petersburg)or The Spring (Tampa) for temporary safe housing, where you will be surrounded by other woman in your same situation. You should contact them immediately as well, they may be able to provide you with some advice on what to do.
Good luck!!
Call Legal Aide and get on it NOW! Stand firm with this guy. You and your children come first.
God Bless You...
1-800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)
Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7
Quick Escape
Please call the above number, here are so many people out there that can help, do not feel alone.
you can also try a local women's shelter.
First off lawyer can't keep the money if he didn't do his job. There are good lawyers out there and some willing to make him give you the money back. You just have to find one. Try a lawyer a small town. They are more honest and willing to work with you. You should have pressed charges. If he does anything out of line again press charges and have them take you to a safe house. The safe houses for Mom's are nice. They will help you get a home, help you get work if you qualify or set up on government assistance. As far as the money goes as long as it's in your account no one is going to help you. Take the money and open up Cd's in the childrens names or put it in a trust fund for them. You have to do this if you want any type of help at all to get out of that house. I wish you well. Pray, God will lead you to the right things to do.
Dear A.,
Run don't walk to the nearest Law Enforcement officer! You and your children's lives may be in danger! This guy is obsessed with money, yours! Tell them what you have told us, and try to get in to the Spring. (This is a haven for abused spouses and children)in Hillsborough County. Then you can file a restraining order against him, and start a new life with a solid support group! Love doesn't have to hurt like you all have! I shudder to think of where this is going! Move your money to a new bank or brokerage firm and NOW! Don't tell him about it! Good Luck! you are going to need it!
A. -What are your priorities here? Why are you with a man that is abusive? Do you stay because of (his) money? The other Moms gave some good advive but I am not going to sugar coat it honey - get the heck out! He wants to control every aspect of your finances so that you CANNOT leave. Do you want to end up in the ER or worse? Think about your children - what kind of example are you setting for them? Now to be fair I have always been a strong willed person but when my husband left me and our 3 children - no abandoned us in a split second - I had to become stronger than ever before - for them. It took me over a year to get the heck out of that place (CA) and back to GA. Now I have never had an abusive partner/husband becuase I would not allow that. Seriously, I feel like driving down there and getting you all out because you don't have the strength to do it. I will pray for God to give you that strength and protect you and your children from this evil control freak.
M.
I have just been looking into a "529" maybe this could help? I wish I had more.
A.-
Get to a women's shelter NOW with ALL your children. Just pack your clothes and GET OUT! The shelter will help you with getting legal help, etc. Don't wait for anything!
There are a lot of people here thinking about you. You can always come to MamaSource for strength of other moms when you need it. But right now you need to get out of your situation and get some help WITHOUT your husband/partner dictating the terms. The shelter will help. That is what they are there for!!!
A., sweetie, please talk to a lawyer. These issues are way too complex to just seek help from other mothers who are not lawyers. Please, please please talk to a lawyer. You can get a free consultation and lay out the issues, and see if this lawyer has answers for you. Then you will know how best to make decisions and proceed with what is the best thing for you and your kids.
Peace,
Syl
You need to stop being a victim, pick yourself up and get an attorney..He knows that you are a doormat and he is going to ride that all the way until you have nothing..If that happens, that is on you...Get some backbone and get an attorney!!!!! He has no rights to anything and cannot come after it if he has no legal right to it...Come on now!!
I would suggest that you speak with someone at legal aid about your problem.
Immmediately contact a lawyer for advice. Move on with yuor life.it seems like your husband owns your life or so he thinks.consider the options.may gods hand be on you and many blessings.
Edited advice:
It looks like you changed your question a bit from the original one so that would make my advice different now. If you aren't legally married then you aren't entitled to anything but child support. And he is not entitled to anything in your name.
Original advice:
First of all you do have rights. If the account for your older children was part of an agreement from your first divorce then I would think that he wouldn't be able to touch it legally. There's nothing wrong with mediation as long as he doesn't know the mediator personally. Start making copies of last years income tax reports & his pay stubs without him knowing it & any other savings, 401K or money market accounts that you might have. You have a right to half of what the two of you have saved over the past 5 years. Some attorneys do consultations for a low price. You don't neccessarily have to go with them but you could go & ask questions to get ready for the mediation. It sounds like he is a bully & trying to make you think that you won't get anything. If it were me I wouldn't let him know that I know of my rights until the actual mediation. It will keep things a little more peaceful in the meantime. Do you have access to any of your accounts? You might want to try to set up a bank account for yourself & start putting a little money away. Also maybe your own credit card. Stay strong, this isn't an easy time. I have been in your shoes & it is not fun but it will get better. Do you have a support system, friends, church, etc...? If you don't then now is the time to get you & your children to places where you can be a family & feel support.
God Bless & good luck!
Some good and some bad advice here. The bad: Please know that in the state of Florida, you are NOT entitled to half if you are not married. What is in his name is his, and yeah its unfair since the woman always stays home, takes care of kids, house, chores, errands and everything else!
Your message is a bit confusing also, dont know what you mean about your living situation right now, I am assuming you said he left the household and you cant make the bills yourself? Also, dont understand about your attorney, what exactly are you getting done from him since you said he took" money from you? Perhaps you need to find a different lawyer, use someone by reference only, and please be strong but do seek help from friends and family.
