Lies & Marriage Counseling

Updated on July 27, 2008
M.B. asks from North Hollywood, CA
4 answers

Relationships/Marriages can be very difficult. A little background: We have only been married a little over a year and have a 1 year old child together. It's definitely been a tough year, most of our issues I believe are pretty typical of new parents and new marriages but my husband can be VERY dramatic and tends to want out and not try to work things out. About a week and a half ago, he started acting really distant and arguing w/ me about our relationship and wanted a separation, just out of the blue. it was very strange to me. Then I caught him in a lie the other night (though he won't admit it, he backtracked his story). He now is acting nice (I think out of guilt) We are going to start going to counseling next week, but my question to you is- How do you get over a lie? Honesty, is SO important in any relationship and how can I trust him? I love him to death, but he just made our issues so much worse. Thanks for any advice and opinions in advance. I really want our marriage to work but...

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

You're right, they can be super tough!

You're doing the right thing by staring counseling. I know it's hard, but I'd chalk up your husband's behavior to anxiety over going for therapy and not freak out over it. Pretty soon you're going to have an excellent venue for figuring this all out. Best of luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your story sounds rough. Learning to trust again will be the same as learning to trust him when you first met, it will depend how he acts in the coming months. If you really love him and he really loves you, you should stick with your plan to go to counseling and give it your 100% effort. Hopefully, he will too! Best wishes! G. T.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

How do you get over a lie?
Forgiveness.
Trust is a decision.
If you do decide to trust him again, every time you start to doubt, you have to remind yourself that you choose to trust.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

My name is M. I have been married for 8 years and together with my husband for 9 years it is no an eeezzz task starting a family and marriage at the same time, trust me I did it my oldest son is 8 my other son 6 1/2 and our baby is 7 months first let me ask you, be true to yourself here burtally honest it depends on the lie? and how bad you want to make the marriage to work, it also depends on how bad he wants it to work, it is really hard but my advise really is a book called or I should say it a way of life "The five Love Lanuages" I plan on starting school for Family & marriage counseling.
I will be using that book as my templet for my counceling. My husband & I use it, believe in it and swear by it, along with God as our foundation you cant go wrong. But really you both have to want it, if he is cheating or lied about were he is or something you need to get to the root of that issue before anything can go right. just make sure your baby is in a safe healthy place. My husband cares so much for our kids that sometimes i get pushed aside so I always tell him "if we are not ok our kids will not be ok" even if we were to seperate the kids would suffer so the most important thing # 1 is make sure you have a safe place for the baby then work together to make each other happy and the family will start there.Your trust will come back after you see him treating the situation with more respect. But really get the book it will help I really swear by it really. let me know how things go you can always email me @ ____@____.com good luck K.I.T God bless M.

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