Letting Baby Cry

Too little for that! Hate to say it but you're getting bad advice. You cannot spoil a baby that young. They need to be picked up, held, rocked to sleep, etc.

I believe 3 months is too young for this. That is really little still! They need you so much at this stage, especially human touch and comfort...they will be big before you know it, you will blink and she will be at her 1st b-day!

I know you have received lots of good advice, whether it's for CIO or not. I don't feel as though it's wrong to use the CIO method at that age. As long as she is not crying for a long period of time. If she is use to being held, than it may take you a few days to get her use to self soothing. In my opinion it's better for you to get her use to her crib and self soothing now than waiting until later. It only gets worse as they get older.

I would try the hanging toys that play music (they look like a merry-go-round). I just can't remember what they are called. I think someone else mentioned it in their post.That's what worked for my daughter.

I held her when she needed it but I didn't want to her to get use to being held all day. So I helped her get use to being in her crib as well as self sooth. She cried when I first put her down but once the toy started going and she heard the music, she would lay there and watch it until she feel asleep.

Be blessed!

Sure let her cry it out. That is what destroyed the emotional balance of all the people born in the 40's and 50's. Doctors thought that method up. Lots of asthma was the result.
No native culture in the entire world lets their babies cry it out.
She's too little. Babies sleep with their moms in native cultures. My mother told me to bring the bassinette next to my bed and hold my baby's hand. She just needed to feel my presence.
She also said to take the baby into bed with me.
You won't roll over on your baby. You have to be very unconscious to do so.

Babies are supposed to be held a lot - it is part of their developmental track. Maybe - no, I STRONGLY advise you to try co-sleeping. Make sure you are not drinking alcohol, taking drugs that make you drowsy and no recreational drugs.

If you breastfeed her to sleep, and then go to sleep with her - as nature intended - breastmilk is a natural chemical/hormone producing relaxant for both baby and Mom - I think both of you will be much more happy and rested!!

I have used this technique with both of my children and they have both slept thru the night in their own beds since 2 months of age ( the oldest is 6 and the youngest is 2). It is very important that children feel secure on their own and this is their first step to that. I totally disagree with the swaddling and rocking them to sleep, what this does is make them totally dependant on you being there for them to fall asleep. If your child learns to self sooth, they are able to wake in the night slightly and fall back to sleep. Trust me I have friends who still have 7 year olds in their beds at night. The key to allowing them to self sooth at sleep time is being able to stay away for at least 30 minutes, give them something to look at like a mobile or a ceiling light, music is also ok...my 6 year old listens to the same CD she has had since she was a baby ( she can sleep without it when she sleeps over at her Nana's). I will tell you this is where you have to be hard..tough love..you will go thru a week of torment and you will feel like a bit of a meany but if you can make it thru the week both you and your baby will be sleeping soundly thru the night...like babies:)

Babies that young can't make sense of why they're left alone. It's not natural for them to be isolated in a crib, with their crying ignored. What she needs from you most for the next few months, along with feeding and cleanliness, is holding, warmth, your voice, tenderness and bonding. You can't spoil a baby this young, but you can help them build a sense of safety in the world.

If she cries a lot and is hard to comfort, check out these wonderful short videos of baby-soothing techniques. Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, explains why babies run pretty much according to their own needs for the first 3-4 months:

How-to's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KnVPUdEgQ&feature=re...

Enhanced sleep: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk5MUOMecHI&NR=1

Interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu0TtxO-ocY&feature=re...

Not sure the age of your baby but it could be any number of things: hunger, teething, wet diaper, scared.
So I never did that. I hunkered down through some sleepless nights and now I don't even remember how difficult it was or how tired I was.
I'm glad I did it.
You can't spoil them at that age and they could be scared (dark room away from all they know to be safe: mommy), hungry, wet diaper, teething, sick, upset tummy, regergitating (spelling?) so I say GO to your baby.
You'll live through the tired nights. You'll come out the other end knowing you loved and took care of your baby's needs.
Comfort her.
Mine didn't sleep a good stretch (5 hrs) until he was about 9 mos or 12 mos of age.
They have little tummies so they get hungry sooner.
They can only communicate by crying to let you know of hunger, teething, wet diaper, tummy ache etc.
So, again, go comfort your baby. You'll both be happier and come out the other side better for it.
Hang in there.....this too shall pass.

I don't like the idea of letting a baby cry it out.
Love your baby. Hold your baby. Rock your baby to sleep.
Your baby is only going to be a baby once. You will never get this time back again.
They really do grow up so fast.

Enjoy your princess.

3 months is WAY too young to let them cry it out. I didn't start doing the CIO until my kids were around 8 months and even then I wouldn't just leave them. I would let them cry for a few minutes and then go in, rub their back and walk out to let them know that I was still around. I would gradually increase the time I let them cry. It took my daughter 3 nights and she was sleeping through the night, my son was a L. more tricky. Sorry, but I totally disagree with another post about completely destroying the emotional balance of a child. I think that is a L. dramatic. When you let a child teach themselves to settle and fall asleep independently, you are teaching them an important life skill. I do agree with the fact that your baby is too young though. Just hold her, or if you don't have one already, invest in a carrier like a sling or Baby Bjorn. They are a life saver and free up your hands to get things done. You won't be spoiling her at this age! BTW, if you need to leave your baby in her crib to cry while you get a shower, brush your teeth, use the bathroom, etc, she will be fine!

How old is your baby? Can you rock her and swaddle her and sing? She will go to sleep if you do these things....I never did the CIO method. I don't believe that it is best for babies. If you tell us more info, we can help you a bit more. GL

M

EDIT: I just got your info--she is 3months and that is way to early for CIO I would definetly hold her! She is needing to bond and be held---do what she needs. If you are desperate for relief, take her in the car and drive her around for a few minutes. She will fall asleep in the carseat--then you can just bring her in the house in the carseat. I hope you get some sleep---things will get better soon. Hang in there!

M

3 months is too young to let her cry. Try a swing or something and make sure shes upright. My baby hates laying down. Or she just wants to be held, I hold mine A LOT.

Beware: Since you phrased this stating you are already using CIO, you'll hear from all the anti CIO people. Dont' worry, there are just as many people who know it's fine to cuddle your baby all day but then let her sleep without your help. People tend to think however they did things is the only medically fit way, like 8 months being the minimum age-that's not a medical fact, it's a personal preference.

My aunt has 10 kids and she got them to sleep through at 3 months with LOTS of food during the day and didn't so much "let them cry" as just didn't help them learn to sleep, so they cried at first which is normal. She always put them down and walked away for the night, so they knew nothing different. As a mother of 10, she needed her sleep. They are all happy, secure people, some of them are now adults with their own kids. We always let our kids sooth themselves to sleep as well, and so did my parents, so we didn't start any habits that were hard for the kids to break like rocking and co sleeping and all that. I do not at all buy the theories that say you need to meet your kid's needs all night long. All day long suffices. It won't hurt her, she will learn to just go to sleep when it's bed time.
To clarify, it's fine if people like wearing their babies and sleeping with them, but anatomically speaking, the baby was BORN. It came out of your body. It's OK to let it have air around it at times. You can cuddle and snuggle and hold and carry and nurse all day, but it's OK to walk away at night. Truly. Dr. Sears is full of beans. No one I know co slept in my peer group and we're not mentally unbalanced because of it. Enough with the fear tactics already.
You sound like a good instinctual momma who knows she is fighting sleep and which cry it is. You're right, she's fighting sleep, and that's OK. BUT, 3 months is borderline too soon for lots of kids. But if she's sleeping through, then she's old enough to fall asleep on her own too. If your momma's instinct knows she's OK, then it's OK to let her cry. Just be sure she's nice and full from a full day's plentiful feedings so a hungry belly doesn't keep her awake.

Personally I think 3 months is much too young for baby to CIO. Do what it takes to help her go to sleep. Babies fight sleep when they are over tired. Establish a good bedtime routine, like bath, lotion, pajamas, story, rock to sleep or cosleep if that works for you. Make sure you are starting early enough that she will not be over tired when it's time to sleep. Babies that age should only be awake for 1 1/2 to two hour at a time. Hope this helps you :)

There is no one answer to that. You are the mom and you know your baby's cries and you meet her needs. It is ok to let them cry a little, I wouldn't have her screaming hard for an hour. I had 4 daughters and I held all of them and co slept with them, but that's not for everyone. Go with how you feel it's usually right. If you are not getting enough sleep try recruiting someone you trust to watch your little one while you nap. When they are little don't expect to get all your rest. But having a child is the most rewarding gift ever. It really does go by fast, I know that's hard to believe right now :) (I have a 2 yr old who has always been a sleep fighter also)

You don't say how old your baby is. I let my son cry himself to sleep, but not until he was about 6 months old (I think, he's 16 yrs old now so I don't remember exactly. I know he wasn't a young baby, but several months old). And it depended on what kind of crying he was doing. A little crying, whining, fussing was okay. A full blown cry/scream was not okay, at least in my opinion. I always tried to pay attention to his cry and get him before it was full blown crying. Otherwise I let him cry it out. It was sometimes hard to listen to, but I knew he was safe in his crib and he needed to learn self soothing.

Honestly though, if you don't feel comfortable letting baby cry herself to sleep then don't do it. You say you've been told to let her cry it out, but you don't say if it is something you want to do. Don't feel pressured to parent according to what someone else thinks or says is best, but do what you feel is best.

There is plenty of research to state the CIO method can be harmful to a young infant. Your child is too young. I would see if any of the strategies in the Happiest Infant on the Block would help to engage her natural calming reflexes. My sister also took her baby to Dr. Chalmers in Frisco and he did a baby adjustment and she instantly was calmer and significantly less fussy.......

http://chalmerswellness.com

I highly recommend you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It is written with science behind it and not just someone's idea of what is "right". I did what the book said and my kids are PERFECT sleepers. Always put themselves to sleep at night (after our routine of course) and they NEVER get up at night. I think I let them CIO around 4 months, but I can't remember for sure now. And to all those who think CIO is terrible and causes 'trauma', you should meet my kids. They are bright, sweet, and SO easy to be around. Other mother's ask me again and again how I got such wonderful kids... I always tell them it was because I taught them to sleep.
Good luck!

Isn't she too young to cry it out? I didn't use that method personally, but I thought that was for older infants, like 6 months or so.

Have you thought about sleeping with her? We had a discussion about that on the blog I write for, www.morethanmothers.com. Several people shared their own experiences. Here's the link:

http://morethanmothers.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/roundtabl...

Hope that helps! I know that sleep deprivation can be one of the worst things in the world to experience. Sometimes you just need to do whatever it takes to get some shut-eye!

Good luck to you,
Jen

3 months is WAY too young to let a baby cry themselves to sleep.
You need to wait until she is ATLEAST 6 or 7 months.

She is only 3 months old- she is going to be needy for a long time yet. Who suggested you let her cry herself to sleep at such a young age?

I tried that with my first baby because everyone told me that was the thing to do and I would spoil her if I didn't. It did not work. She would not cry herself to sleep. If she did by chance fall asleep she would be awake within the hour crying again. Once I relaxed and realized there is no one size fits all answer for every kid, I was able to grow to know her and understand her cues and what she needed to fall to sleep well.

I tried crying it out again with my second baby. As long as he was fed, had a clean diaper, and wasn't sick, he usually went to sleep on his own. Eventually he quit crying all together. Every baby is different. Do what works for you two and what you are comfortable with. :)

Most peds OK full CIO at 12 weeks. If she's there, go for it!
I did with my youngest at 22 weeks (I kept feeling bad about it, and then finally broke down)...best decision ever!!!!!!
2 days of hell = perfect undisturbed sleep now!

She sleeps through teeth, colds, growth spurts...all of it! And despite what some will tell you, she is not emotionally damaged and it's not cruel. Ask any child psychologist!

I remember when my daughter was young being told not to let her cry herself to sleep until she was 6 months old, then do it a particular way - leave the room 5 min, then come back and stroke her head and let her know you are there, then 10 min, come back in, 20 min, repeat, going up until baby is asleep. This does work. Until then just spoil and love that baby to pieces! I used to dance with my baby and sing show tunes to her - that usually put her out!

I would let her cry when she is about 6 months. At 3 months she is still really little, so I would pick her up.

Too young... She needs the reassurance you are there and will take care of her needs still. Around 6 months is when they have learned to use crying to get you to do what they want.

So... just bring her over here and I'll carry her around for a little while... I miss that stage! ;-P

First night he cried for 30 minutes, the next 15, and the next 5, and it was a done deal! Contrary to what some think, babies come out of the womb as manipulators. You learn very quickly the different kinds of crying. It doesn't stop once they are older, either. Children push the limits every chance they get, but they really thrive in a well-disciplined environment. Giving in isn't always the loving thing to do even though it appears that way at the time.

I did not read any of the responses so sorry if I repeat. Heres my story. My first did not sleep through the night till she was 12 months old. It was misserable. I never taught her to put herself to sleep. One day I told the doctor and he said let her cry, It took a whole 2 weeks, of her being pure stubborn. It was the hardest thing ever, I cried with her. So when my next one came along I was determined to not go through this again. I talked to my doc, same one as before and he said do not do this technique before they are older than 3 months old. So when she turned 3 months, I let her cry, It took 2 nights and she only cried for maybe 15 min. I couldnt believe it, I was so mad at myself for suffering with no sleep for an entire year with my first. My youngest has been the best sleeper. She lays down and within minutes she is out. Even perfers to sleep in her own bed.

So I suggest wait till she 3 mths then give it a try, depending on how stubborn your child is will make the difference in how long it takes, but I promise, it will be the best thing you ever did. The doctor also told me that babies 3mths and younger need to eat every few hours but once they hit 3 mths there bodies are able to go at least 6 hrs without eating or drinking.

Good Luck

I am not anti cry it out but every book you read about CIO says not to do it before 6mo. I personally recommend waiting until 9mo. The baby has to be old enough to learn the lesson you are teaching with CIO and if they are not mature enough it will just be a dramatic thing. Good luck!