Language Woes

I am a 26 year old mother of two wonderful kids. I have a boy who is two and a little girl who just turned four. When I read about your situation I was a little surprised. I am full blooded Portuguese. I am a first generation American, my husband is Vietnamese and so he doesn't speak portuguese. When we had our kids I wanted more than anything that they speek and understand Portuguese. I talked to a few Pediatricians and all told me that I should speak to them in my language because childrens brains are like sponges and that they know how to deciefer when you're speaking one language over another. I have tried to strickly speak portuguese with my kids along with their grandmother, and they understand and speak very well in english. Between reading books to your daughter, school,TV, and speaking to her in english you will have no problem. You actually will be giving her a great gift of possibly being bilingual. I would talk to a new doctor about your worries on speaking portuguese. Good luck.

You should consider yourself lucky. Free babysitting and language acquisition! My two girls, two and a half and one year, are growing up in a trilingual home. My husband is Mexican and I am Danish. We speak English to each other. My girls are with my in laws who speak only Spanish in the day time, and we lived with them till recently. They have grown up hearing Danish, English and Spanish. My two year old now will speak to my in laws in Spanish and gets mad at me if I say something to her in Spanish. Mommy is supposed to speak English or Danish. She was at first a little confused as to whom to say what, but the wires are now slowly connecting. The child psychology books also say that being exposed to foreign languages from very young, gives children an advantages later on when they are learning languages in school. Billingual children are supposedly 6 months later speaking, but that is only because there is so much to sort out in their minds. Once they get the hang of it they have a huge advantage. My daughter was not 6 months behind, she did take a little longer to say her first understandable word, but now she is unstoppable. She will even say it in both English and Spanish if there is something she really wants. Unfortunately I haven't kept up the Danish lately, mostly because I am the only speaker, but also because she is in a co-op preschool where I speak English to her. Luckily she speaks on the phone with my parents.
Who knows? Maybe some day your daughter will thank you for it!
S.

Hi L.,
I also have a sitter of my 16 month old daughter as she goes to a all speaking Portugese sitter. I love it! I only speak English and since my daughter goes there I have pick up some Portugese too.
Also I have met some of the children who have grown up and now in 1st grade and they all understand Portuguese and English. As far as test scores I am really not sure. Although I believe learning two languages is wonderful. I wish I knew two languages..
Good Luck

L.,
I don't know where you got the idea that learning Portuguese first will cause English and grammer problems later. My husband dad is from Portugal and his mother is from Brazil,(my husband is 1st generation and didn't speak any English until he went 1st grade.( my in laws speak no english) and his Grammer and spelling is much better than mine( I am American and speak no other languages (though I can listen to someone speaking portuguese and understand what they are saying, and know probibly close to 100 words.) I have asked my husband for years to teach our kids (ages 12, and 7) portuguese, though he hasn't done it, they know quite a bit of spanish from there daycare person,(which drives my mother in law nuts). I don't think your daughter will have any confusion and will probibly be able to speak both languges well as she gets older. If you are to concerned about not being able to comunicate with her you can get computer software that will teach you basic conversation in Portuguese. Good luck
Amanda

L.,
I'm not sure what scientific study that even remotely supports the idea that it slows English and grammar in later years. Is your husband suffering from such a thing? Ask yourself, why wouldn't you want your child to develop another language capability? Language is the door to understanding and experiencing culture - why wouldn't you want your child to learn your husband's culture and from his family no less. Are you sensitive because you don't speak another language and may not really care for his family? Whatever the case, you should take a language course at your university to understand the beauty of language and how it will open your mind to so many other things this world has to offer. Don't limit your daughter's scope. I assure you, there's no possible way that she will come home and all of a sudden stop understanding you. She will come home and use her new language to express herself, which is great opportunity for you to learn a few phrases too. I hope you work through your concerns and realize that bilingualism is really a good thing. FYI - My son and daughter speak and understand English, Spanish, French and a bit of sign language. I have to learn French to keep up with them, and that's just fine with me. Good luck!

L.,

This is an absolutely awesome opportunity for your daughter! She will always be able to understand you (unless you leave her for an extremely extended amount of time with no visits. We're talking about more than a month day and night with no English spoken to her whatsoever.) She will actually benefit from learning more than one language as a small child. She may use which ever language is easiest to say for a particular word as she learns to talk, but will know both and be able to say both. For English and Spanish, we call this Spanglish. I'm not sure what you call it for Portuguese and English. Your daughter will be able to differentiate between the two languages as she grows, but for now it's all fun and learning. Her grammar will be at least as good as your grammar when she starts school. Also, you can try it out and see how you feel about it, just like any other childcare situation.

The official recommendations I have heard are that as long as each speaker uses one consistent language with the child, the child should be able to acquire multiple languages with equal fluency. I think it is an amazing gift for a child, to be bi-lingual. Could there be a period where a toddler shows a preference for one language over the other, and uses the preferred language to someone she knows will not understand it? Yes, I have heard of that happening, but be assured that it would be a phase, an act of typical toddler willfulness and testing, and NOT a statement about what she is able to speak, and NOT a statement about who she wants to be with.

If you keep speaking English to your child when she is with you, she will learn English as well as any other child, regardless of any other language she is also learning.

I don't see why it would be an issue at all.. if anything it will cement her knowledge of both languages.

In my house we speak both dutch and english...
You will hear Portuguese come out but it's not to hurt you, it's her way of learning.

TO my daughter the words are interchangeable to her saying Red/Rood are the SAME thing.. kind of like Pants and trousers..

I have learned SO much from her and her father over the last 7 years.. we encourage the bilingual learning. It will enable her to pick up other languages later on. You will be surprised HOW much you will learn too :)

Don't worry about it and take the free babysitter. Kids can learn two languages easily.

Hi L.,
I want to reassure you! Your daughter is already learning English and has been for the last year. She's been learning from you. Even if she isn't talking much now, she's listening. She's listening to you. Even after seven hours a day with a sitter, she will understand you. My daughter's first word was in Spanish from watching Dora.

There's a book called "Baby Signs." Even if you're not interested in the baby signs concept, the book provides great information about language development in children from birth through the second or third grade (including grammar and test scores).

Children's brain development allows them to learn multiple languages much easier than we can as adults. If your daughter was in a Portuguese setting for MANY years, she could be truly bilingual and bicultural. If you're only going to use this care as a short term solution, she is not going to suddenly speak and understand only Portuguese.

Best wishes!

P.S. I am half Portuguese and only wish my father had spoken to us in Portuguese while growing up!

L., I think that is an ideal situation! Free babysitting and a chance to become bilingual. I don't think you have to worry about her learing English or falling short in school. I'm guessing that English is the primary language spoken in your home? The optimum time to teach a child to be bilingual is from 0-5y.o.