Learning Two Languages.

i guess i would try to speak to her in spanish sometimes. maybe even mid sentance or something? for kids its incredible how quickly they learn other languages (which makes me so frustrated that most schools around here dont teach it until high school. i had it in high school and it sucked!!) she can learn them both fluently at the same time. she looks at you like you are nuts when you speak spanish to her because shes not used to it coming from you i guess LOL

but yeah, just keep doing what you are doing, and try to add some spanish from you. :)

good luck! :)

H.,

When I was studying Elementary Education in college, I was told that the prime time to introduce a second language is age 3 because that's when children grasp the syntax of a language. (They can't tell you what that means, but their verbal skills indicate that they understand it.) Children can continue to learn a second language until about age 14. After that, the person can learn the language, but will have an accent.

Introducing a second language before age 3 creates confusion in a child. Yes, they will be able to understand and speak in both languages, but they will be developmentally behind in both of them. We have had friends who spoke two languages in the home from their children's infancy and their children struggled when entering school and had to receive special services to catch up.

If it was me, I would speak only English in the home until age 3 when she really has a good handle on how the English language works. Then it's time to introduce the second language and she will quickly be fluent in both.

Good luck,
S.

You didn't mention what your husband and you speak to each other. That matters too. My husband is French and I am American and I don't speak much French. I speak only English to my children but wish I could speak more French to them and my husband. Even though my husband has made a great effort to speak to the children in French they are 2 and 4 and not fluent in French yet. He has to speak to me in English so they hear mostly English at home and are well aware that Papa speaks English. When he speaks to them in French they understand but respond in English. This is changing for our 4 year old since we enrolled her in a French immersion school, and our 2 year old says some words only in French, but because I am with them so much more than my husband and the greater community is English speaking, their English is far better than French. If I knew French, I would have a French speaking home and speak English to my children when we were with English speakers. They would learn English from interaction with family, neighbors and in school.

I have a friend in Canada who's family is from Italy, living in Montreal and of course that is french speaking. I was told that in school, they did their lessons in the morning in english, 3 afternoons a week in french and 2 in Italian. People in our country always feel that you need too speak English and I agree that everyone should know english, but how much of an advantage it is for my friends children to be able to communicate in 3 languages.

With your family, you could speak in English until 2pm and then switch to Spanish so by the time dad is home, everyone is speaking spanish. She won't know what is english and what is spanish, she will just know the words. My granddaughter has a toy that teaches to count in spanish and when she was a year old she would go around counting "One... dos.. three!" She didn't realize she was mixing languages.

H., I really enjoyed this post. It is fun to think about your daughter's special inheritance. From what I remember of my studies of language, your daughter has, at this point, the foundation she will need to develop both languages as a "first language" because she has been regularly exposed to both for her first 8 months. You say that she doesn't spend as much time with her father as with you, but you also say that he (and his family?) always use Spanish with her. So I can't tell for sure just how much communication she is getting from him, but it sounds like it is a very significant amount. If she is with him for even a few hours a day I would think that she will simply learn his language. And, of course, she will learn English. And it will all be so easy for her that I am quite jealous, as I had to work hard to learn a second language and still struggle to maintain it to any degree. Enjoy this adventure--I am sure you already are.

hi H.,
my husband is from mexico and i'm from here. we were told to have my husband speak only in spanish and to have me speak only in english. i too am with our son much more than his dad, but it doesn't really seem to make a difference in his understanding. this is the way that they determine which language goes where. my son is 2 and completely understands exactly what we're both saying to him, it is amazing! one thing i did not find out til a bit later was that bi-lingual children ten to not speak until a little later than others their age, but when they do...watch out! :) good luck!
one more thing, i too was worried seeing as how dad is at work all day so we got a few toys that say the names of things in english and spanish. it has helped me brush up on my spanish and it seems to help our son too!

I have a bunch of friends who are raising their children bilingual. Keep doing what you are doing. Speak English with your child and have your husband speak Spanish. Your daughter will learn very quickly the 2 languages and will use them accordingly.

Maybe she doesn't like your accent? ha ha. She's very lucky to get this early start with two languages.

Our household is not bilingual but I have friends and relatives who are. They have said that they speak both languages in their home and their children learn both from the time they start talking. Children are very good at learning language(s)that they are exposed to at a young age. I would speak both languages to your child, just don't mix the languages in each sentence.

I have also read research that says if a baby is not exposed to a language at a very young age, they may not be able to produce the sounds necessary for that language later. The brain is most complex when we are born and then "trims" excess connections as we go through childhood based on what abilities we need. (I'm a psychology grad student, so sorry if this is too much info, but I find it fascinating.)

How to begin? She's already learning both!
I speak Spanish. Having a mother of Mixtec descent, who spoke the native tongue but didn't pass it on, I am determined for my children to at least learn Spanish (I don't know Mixtec so I can't pass that on). I speak and read to the kids in Spanish. I didn't do that with my stepson and I cannot tell you how sorry I am about that. His speech was 'delayed' (in my opinion) and I thought that speaking to him in Spanish would confuse him. How wrong I was! :( He's learning now but he's got an accent.
My husband knows some words in Spanish but I am the one in charge of passing it on because I am fluent, as it is my native language. I learned English as a teen and I have an accent so it makes sense for my hubby to pass that language on (though his grammar is quite questionable sometimes ha ha).
Since you speak Spanish, it would be nice for you to use it more often around her, so she stops giving you funny looks. :) Maybe reading? You can also get movies, cartoons, and music in Spanish. She knows the difference between the languages even if she can't tell you there's such a thing as languages!! Children are truly amazing!!
Our doctor did tell us to expect some delays in speech ( learning twice as much), but to not worry about it at all because in the end they will be fluent in both languages... no sweat! Just as the other posts have said. Please don't wait until age 3 to teach her a second language! Oh, and just so you know, neither one of my kids' speech seems delayed at all. Both of them speak mostly in English but they understand me perfectly. I think their preference is English because they're surrounded by it.
I will just keep on talking and reading to them in Spanish. I ask any Spanish speaker to use it with them. I suggest you do the same.
Good luck!

I am living in Italy and English is my mother tongue. My husband is Italian. We have 2 kids, 2 and 4. I have always spoken with them in English and my husband speaks a little of both to the kids as we do with each other. My children are both bilingual and only speak to me in English and everyone else in Italian. They speak to my husband more Italian than English.

I would suggest you to start speaking Spanish to your daughter because you are the main caregiver and the mother. In my experience children learn and accept the foreign language easier if it's the mom who speaks it. Because you live in a predominantly English speaking country, she will definitely learn English at school, with family members etc. She will look at you funny for a while, as do my kids when I speak to them in Italian. They're just not used to it. If you feel comfortable speaking Spanish, I think it's your best bet at having your child be fully bilingual. Also, as she gets older, have her watch cartoons and tv shows only in Spanish.

Good luck!

Hi!
I'm also a new mom in a bilingual family. I'm also a foreign language teacher and have thought and read a lot about raising kids bilingually. The best option is for you to speak English to her, and Dad to speak Spanish. Of course, the minimal contact time with Dad right now makes things a bit more of a challenge, but if he talks to her a lot when he's with her, she'll get it. It's relatively easy to get kids' books in Spanish, so he could read to her too. If you allow TV or DVDs, there's also Spanish options there too. Even better, you could try to get her relatives to make videos where they're talking to her; later, they can talk to her through a webcam or Skype. You could also try to hook her up with some Spanish speakers in the community -- have her play with Spanish speaking kids. (You might try looking for a place that gives ESL classes to see if you can link up with more Spanish speakers.) Hope this helps!!

I have an American friend who is married to a Brazilian woman and they live in Brazil. He speaks to their child in English and she speaks their child in Portuguese. They both speak both languages, but seem to stick with their respective native languages with their son.

Whether you stick to English or use both English and Spanish, your daughter will accept what you do. Do what feels comfortable for you and whatever you do will be quite "normal" to your child. My hunch is that she's simply detecting a difference in the native and non-native accents. She's just trying to process the differences in what she's hearing and she'll sort it all out and grow up happily, easily speaking both languages as native. :)

I know a 6 year old who is extremely fluent in 4 languages. Her mother's native tongue is Arabic, her father's Portuguese, her nanny's Spanish, and school and all other settings English. She is brilliant and NOT confused AT ALL! It may be hard for an adult if they were learning two languages at once, but for an infant and child it is natural and their environment. So my suggestion is speak what is comfortable, and I wouldn't put too much thought in it. If you mix the languages in your home, do it. When the mind matures separation will be easy and natural for that child. That little girl I know is not confused in ANY way, and she wasn't at a younger age either. Her parents never put thought into how to speak around the child. They just did what they do normally.

Your husband could record himself reading a book or singing songs so it could be listened to by her anytime. You could read/sing to her in English the same books/songs at other times. You can purchase a small pocket sized digital recorder at an electronic store for about $30. If you want to be able to transfer to a computer (so you can create Cd's) be careful of what your buying ask for help if needed. You could also use a video recorder. He could read books to her in his spare time (on a break, when he gets home or before leaving for work, even on the way to work when he gets the hang of using the device.) I'm sure if you give it a try she'll have favorite ones she listens to over and over! Good luck!

Being a teacher myself and a linguist too, I have to respectfully disagree with the poster who suggested not introducing a second language until age three. Studies do show that there can be language aquisition delays, but overall does no harm. Think of all the countries where children speak and are exposed to more than one language from birth. We are an usual society being so monoligual.

I do remember reading a studny where it is best to speak your native language only for the first few years. It had to do with devolipng grammar and sounds within the language. As non native speakers of a language we could potentially introduce incorrect sounds (or "the accent").

My son is learning Greek from Dad (and that family) and English from me. Your daughter is very lucky to be able to grow up bilingual.

Just keep talking to her in both languages. My brother's children are bilingual & they do not even think about it. He speaks english & his (now ex) wife spoke spanish as did her mother who lived with them when the kids were young. Both languages were spoken in the house with him speaking more english & she the spanish. The spoke to each other in both languages. The children just naturally began to speak both & automatically switch back & forth when they are talking to Abuela versus grandpa.

I am fluent in both in my house we talk both english and spanish but what i do know is never mix a sentence by using both languages and what you can do is if you say something in english you can ask her to say it in spanish or do it for her so she can know what your saying in both languages hopefully that can help but try speaking more in spanish since in school they mostly speak nothing but english

We are a bilingual family. My husband is fluent in both Swedish and English but grew up in Sweden so he speaks Swedish with our daughters because it's his mother tongue. I am both bilingual in English and Swedish (I learned Swedish as an adult) and I only speak English with our daughters. My husbands family has a similar story and that is why he is perfectly fluent in both languages. Everything that I have learned about living in a bilingual family is that you should never mix the languages, if you are speaking English then only speak English.. I have heard that it's best that you stay to your mother tongues because if you have learned it later your dialect may be incorrect and your grammar not as it should. I dont know if that is the case with your family or not. I will say some words in Swedish if I notice she doesnt understand what I am saying in English but I keep it mostly to English. My husband and I will speak English with each other as this is what we have always done. Maybe you can speak Spanish between you and your husband so she can get
more exposure to Spanish. Personally I would only speak English with her and make sure you expose her to Spanish more (possibly with Spanish speaking family or mother groups). I have talked to a language expert about this and she said it was good that when speaking directly to her that I only speak my language but if I am out and about (we are living in Sweden) that it was okay to speak Swedish because children know when they are being spoken to and that interaction is what is important to language building. Keep up the Spanish through other form of immersion, songs, parents groups and family.

My mother also speaks spanish and never taught us, which I regret now. A friend of hers that had children my age, did teach her children to speak spanish. She only spoke spanish to them when they were young. They really only learned english outside of home and at school. It didn't hurt their education at all and now they can speak both.

I got this information from a freshman college psych course, but it makes sense to me: You're doing it perfectly now. Don't change a thing. If one parent uses one language and the other uses another, that will keep the two languages separate in the child's mind. She should be perfectly bilingual without using "Spanglish". Remember, when you and your spouse converse in front of your daughter, he should speak to you in Spanish and you should answer him in English.

In my opinion (I have no facts or research to back this up) I don't think it will make much difference that she's not around her dad or his parents as much. I think the language will still stick. The reason I say this is because I had exposure to grandparents from Germany who most always spoke broken English around us and sang to us in German. Even though I never studied the German language, I have pretty decent pronunciation and I even remember some songs entirely in German. That could be because songs tend to stick in our heads much longer. Encourage your husband and his parents to sing to your little one in Spanish. My sister has a theory as well: when a young child is exposed to the sounds of any foreign language, they have an easier time learning other languages. I feel like this might be true as I've had a very easy time learning Spanish and the little bit of study I've done in Russian and French on my own has been fun rather than frustrating.

So, all in all I think you're doing the right thing. Keep it up!

I grew up in a bilingual household, and it was great. I am fluent in Spanish and English. No problems at all. In fact, this has served me well. DOn't listen to people or teachers who say your childs' language will be delayed: mine wasn't. I was in gifted/talented curriculum my entire grade and high school life. Was on the Dean's list in college: I think learning 2 languages at once super jump starts your brain to learn any other language. I picked up Italian and French in High School, and College, like a breeze.

I have a friend who was from mexico now a us citizen- her daughter is now 5 & fluent in both spanish & english -She speaks english fairly well but spanish is her primary language. Her husband knows a little spanish. If it were my decision I would use both languages with her- Little kids pick up much more quickly then older children. That way she
will be biligual at an early age. She will be able to communicate well with both her parents. Ps my daughter is 6 and is kindergarten in a spanish emersion school and she loves it. Her teacher is wonderful.