Lady at Church Overhelpful

I have worked in church nursery. I've also been in public school. No one has the right to take the baby w/o the parent's signed permission. Because it is the church, people get delusional and think that nothing can go wrong in the church. I'm sorry but this is the place where I've seen just as much crime go on as any other place. Your daughter should get with the leadership of the church and not play another note on the piano until her daughter's safety is no longer compromised.

That is in no way acceptable and your daughter needs to make sure the nursery workers know that no one other than her can take the baby out. Our church nursery has a sign in sheet and gives the parent a pager. They WILL NOT under any circumstances release the child to anyone other than the person who signed the child in, even if it is the other parent. I have to make sure that when I sign my 19 month old in that I put both my name and my husband's down so he can be released to my husband too. Maybe that needs to be implemented at your daughter's church. Like the other poster said this is a huge liability for the church and should not be allowed to take place.

Your daughter needs to very clearly state to both the nursery workers and this person (preferably together, in the same room at the same time) that NO ONE except her or her husband are allowed to take the baby from the nursery. This should clear it right up! At the very least, she needs to make sure the nursery workers know. This is a liability for the church if they are releasing kids to others besides the parents and the parents haven't given their permission. Sounds like she just needs to speak up!

Let the nursery workers know she does not have permission, and that only mom, dad, or grandma are allowed to remove the child.

She needs to let the nursery workers that nobody but her own family are allowed to take the child out of the nursery, unless she specifically tells them differently.

She should tell the nursery worker that only she and her husband can take the baby! She should also speak to whoever is in charge of the nursery, not just the person who's in there during church. This is a huge liability issue for the church, if just anyone can walk out with a baby!

That's creepy and potentially dangerous. Tell the pastor, and let the daycare know that they need to put a sign in/sign out procedure in place. They are putting themselves and other children in danger by not having these procedures in place. If they won't do it, your daughter should leave the church or let the daughter stay with a friend.

Your daughter (or you if you also attend) should talk to the nursery coordinator. It sounds like time to revamp the policies and procedures. I recently started volunteering in my church nursery more and helped our new coordinator change and improve systems, like having a sign-in/out procedure, including giving parents an ID tag that was noted--no ID tag, no child at pick-up (mom might pass it to dad or another friend or family member). Even understandable mix-ups can be frustrating and scary, like an older sibling picking up the baby and mom and dad not knowing it. This is a major safety issue and liability issue. It does not take much to have some safety procedures and policies in place to keep babies and children safe and parents at peace.

No no no! The church nursery should have a policy that no child can be removed unless it's by a parent -preferably the parent who signed the child in! Your daughter should talk to the nursery workers and explain immediately that NO ONE is to take the baby out of the nursery except her! She should ask the pastor of the church if there's anything she should know about this woman and explain her reason for doing so. She also needs to approach the woman and tell her that she really doesn't allow anyone to take her daughter from the nursery except for her or her husband. She can even say she appreciates any help, but it could become confusing and even scary if she or her husband went to the nursery to get the baby and the baby was gone. If this woman won't stop, she needs to get tough and she needs to go to the church's executive committee. CREEPY!

I totally agree with the previous poster! The church could get into a heap of trouble over that one.
I am the nursery coordinator for our church. I bought stickers that go on the child's back with name and parent info. The sticker has a number on it which corresponds with a tag the parent gets to keep. No one is allowed to take a child out of the nursery without first showing the tag.
No one is allowed in the nursery unless they are a parent or a scheduled worker who has had a background check.
Sounds like a lot of precaution, but it's necessary for liability issues.

Your daughter needs to tell the woman very bluntly that she is not to take her child out of the nursery. If the woman won't comply, make sure the pastor or church leadership intervene's.
She also needs to tell the nursery workers to absolutely NOT let the woman take the baby.

That woman's behavior is very concerning. She does seem obsessed, and I wouldn't trust a person who has to lie to get a baby out of the nursery.

Good luck to your daughter! This is a tough situation to be in! Encourage your daughter that an adult's feelings are not more important than a child's wellbeing.

uh...no, church should not let anyone getting any child that is not the parent or the parent says at time of drop off that so and so will be coming at such and such time.

i'd definately have a discussion with the woman getting child from nursery, and the nursery worker.

i worked in a church nursery, and parents had to sign children in and if someone other than parent would be picking up, they had to notify at time of drop off or NO CAN DO

So this woman is lying to church workers and is obsessed with the baby? Doesn't that set off huge alarm bells in your head? It should. Your daughter needs to tell the nursery workers when she drops off her daughter that no one is allowed to take the baby out of the nursery. If this is a well-established church, there should be a system for child safety and all workers need to adhere to it.

This sounds dangerous to be. You & daughter need to be firm with child care workers to not allow baby out of their care. The obsessed woman sounds a bit delusional or possibly mentally ill. The Church council needs to follow safety guidelines established by the Diocese and or the State.

Get on with this now!
A.

Tell this lady the next time she takes a child that is not hers without permission, she will be arrested. Tell the church they have to have procedures in place so that anyone can't walk in and get someone's baby, or there will be a lawsuit the next time they let a child go with someone that is not the parent without the parent's signed permission. This is a horrible situation and cannot happen again

Her church needs to have a sign in/out procedure. No one is allowed to take my son unless they have the matching tag to the one that he is wearing. Obviously, they know me, so if I don't have it handy, no big deal, but if some random person came to get him...no way Jose!

Our church has pagers for kids under 2, you can't pick up the baby with out the pager. For kids 2-5 they have laminated tags that match a tag the parent has, you cannot take your child with out giving them the tag first. It can be a bit annoying when say you forget to get the tag/pager from your husband, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to know that no one can take my kids. Also we have someone who stands at the doors leading to the children's area (which are locked during church) and they don't even let anyone downstairs without a tag or pager.

You don't give enough information. Did the lady take the baby out to comfort her because she was crying? or did she just want to hold her? I think it is safe to assume she wasn't trying to steal the baby. 1. Whoever is in charge of the nursery should not let just anyone take a baby out. It should be like the daycare, only people that the mother and father give permission can take the baby from the nursery. So maybe you need to have her start there, and then tell the woman to please leave the baby in the nursery.

I agree with all the other posters, but I feel the need to add -- if this woman is obsessed and mentally unstable, some confrontation may push her over the edge. I would want to wait several weeks before returning my baby to this setting -- give the woman a chance to adjust to the new regime.

o my! i cant believe the nursery allows someone other tahn the parents to take a child out of the nursery. looks to me like the church needs to enact a safety policy on child pick ups

I direct a youth ministry program at a church and even though we're a small church we still have a policy that kids must be signed in and out of the nursery and classes, and the same adult who signs the child in must also sign the child out. I'd talk to whomever is in charge and ask them to implement a policy like that, and then actually stick to it.

Our church has a number assignment security procedure. When you drop your child off they give you a laminated number assigned to your child. Only the person holding the number can pick up the child. You may want to discuss some security with the church. This is scairy to me. A person who is seemingly obsessed with someone elses child and removing them at will is not appropriate. I'd also have your daughter talk with this person. She should tell the person that she prefers the child to stay in the nursery because she loves all the new toys or whatever. Just make sure to get across to the person that it is not ok, either nicely or pointedly. Good luck.

Updated

Our church has a number assignment security procedure. When you drop your child off they give you a laminated number assigned to your child. Only the person holding the number can pick up the child. You may want to discuss some security with the church. This is scairy to me. A person who is seemingly obsessed with someone elses child and removing them at will is not appropriate. I'd also have your daughter talk with this person. She should tell the person that she prefers the child to stay in the nursery because she loves all the new toys or whatever. Just make sure to get across to the person that it is not ok, either nicely or pointedly. Good luck.

My church has special security...only the parents can pick up the child period. Church needs some policies to keep the children safe. I would talk to the person in charge of the Sunday school or nursery. Unacceptable!

Nope, that is a big no, no. She should get permission. Tell this "nice" lady that if she wants to spend time with the baby to do so in the nursery and not leave with her because the M. does not approve of that or that the M. entrusted you with her care not her.