Hello,
We are expecting our third boy in a few months. Our oldest will have barely turned 4 (baby due around his birthday) and our youngest (new middle child ;) will be almost 2.5. I just have no idea how the dynamic between the 3 will be like. I realize it depends greatly (pretty much essentially) on personality and affinities, but since I only have one sister (2 years older) I have a hard time imagining how 3 kids with the age difference mine will have, can have a good time playing together and sharing a close bond. Will there always be one left out? Will they be able to do activities together down the road or will they just be too far apart all in all. Especially the oldest and youngest. Will they just be too far apart to share a good relationship, and similar intesrests during childhood?
I would love to hear about your experiences, with similar age differences.
Thank you!
My children are five years apart. They are now grown and the best of friends. They had their ups and downs while they were growing up, there were different activities, but they hung out and loved eachother, then and now.
You'll see their relationships ebb and flow. There will be activities that all can participate in easily. Some activities will be more for the younger two and some for the older two. The middle child will be easily close to both of them albeit in different ways. As they age you'll wonder at times if the older and younger have anything in common. But eventually that too will come full circle. We went on to add a 4th child that was literally 16 years younger than our oldest. I am sad to say our oldest has just about no relationship with her youngest sibling. But then again, she isn't all that close to any of us.
4 years isn't all that much different. In time the difference will seem to evaporate. My oldest 3 daughters are 20, 23, and 25. The 20 year old actually turns 20 on the 14th and the 25 year old will be 26 in December. Our 20 year old is actually more mature in many ways than either the 23 or 25 year old.
My older children are 4 years apart and they got along SWIMMINGLY!! It was great when they were little. My olderst took care of her and she loved him like he was her very own. It was a great relationship.
When they got older it was a bit strained and it they have had their ups and downs but I dare someone to hurt her in anyway...and my son would be there in a SECOND to make sure she was ok.
I have a 3 yr old that is virtually an "only child" and I hate it for him. Only because I know how close my older children are...and I want that for him too.
Sending good thoughts your way.
My 3 are now 8, 6 and almost 3. They all have a great time playing together. The 8 year old and the 3 year old run around together all the time as they are the only boys. My 6 year old daughter takes on more of the "mothering" role with the 3 year old which he is starting to hate so he is spending more time with his older brother.
In the beginning when the baby can't really interact with the other two and some of your attention is being taken away from them it won't be too much fun, but once the little one is able to play they'll have a blast.
Good luck,
K.
I'm the oldest and have two younger brothers, the middle is four years younger than me, and the youngest is six years younger. We were very close when we were little, I would say up until I was about 12 or 13. When I was a teenager we didn't have much in common, mostly because I was a teenage girl! As we're older now (29, 25 and 23) we're great friends- I talk with my brothers pretty much every day. Four years isn't a huge age difference, I never really thought of us having a big age difference at all.
my boys are 4 years apart, but there are just the two so the dynamic is different. they got along pretty well for the most part, played together a lot and formed a pretty good bond that has lasted into their young adulthood. of course, now i'm hearing the behind-the-scenes stories<G>. there were bumps in the road i had no idea about. obviously that 4 year gap was bigger when they were smaller, and they did have different friends and activities much of the time. but overall it was good.
khairete
S.
My brothers and I are farther apart then your kids. My older brother is 3 years older than me and I am 4 years older than my little brother. We are now 40, 37, and 33. My brothers have JUST stopped being roommates. I was often out b/c I was a girl and did not like video games although I was/am very tomboy-ish. I think it has a lot more to do with the personalities than the spacing, enjoy them. Relax, you can help but I feel you can't dictate who they will like in the end.
Nat
I also have three boys, 4 1/2, 2 1/2, and 9 months. I'm still not very far along in this experiment, and like you, I worry that my little guy will be left out, especially because his older brothers are already such good pals and my middle one is so big and so verbal that he can pretty much keep up with my oldest son's activities. So far, though, my two older sons, but particularly my 4-year-old, love the baby. They give him toys and food and sometimes just laugh with him, which is hilarious. My baby is so smiley and laughs a lot, and so my 4-year-old and my baby sometimes just laugh together, seemingly at nothing, for minutes at a time.
My oldest son enjoys his younger brothers so much that he includes them in his nightly prayers: "Thank God I have such a nice Jonathan to play with. Thank God I have such a nice Zach." And he tells me we should have more babies so he has more kids to play with. (But we shouldn't have too many, he says. When I asked him how many would be too many, he said ten. I agreed that ten would be over the top and asked how many we should have. "Hmm. Maybe about .... 11," he said.)
