Is 6.5 Years Difference a Big Gap Between Kids?

Hey there! I have 2 younger brothers, one is 2 years younger than me and the other is 7 years younger. I'm actually MUCH closer to my youngest brother now, although I don't think we were all that close growing up. Now that we're adults, I still see him as my baby brother, even though he's exactly one foot taller than me! We are very close now. As far as kids, my oldest daughter is 6 1/2, and my son is 3 months old (I also have a 4 1/2 year old)... right now, the 6 y/o looooves her baby brother, and we'll see how that plays out! It's actually really nice having the age difference, it was tough when both the girls were in diapers... now I have 2 awesome little helpers for the baby stuff! I hope that helped ;)

I loved the gap. My older two are 2 years apart, then a 5+ year gap before number 3. I was a more relaxed mom by the time the third came along and could really enjoy his babyhood. When the first two were in school, I got to do the whole baby/ toddler thing again but without all the anxiety I had as a new mom. Park days, play dates, walks with the stroller...I was happy to have the chance to do it all again.

It will be wonderful to have a new baby in the house. The older kids are a lot of help and he will be very entertaining. The new baby will be like an only child and you will be able to spend a lot of one on one time with him while the older ones are in school. The one problem I had was the baby waking up the older children in the middle of the night. He got his own room for awhile. Have fun.

My son was 6 when my daughter was born this last Sept. I worried that there would be a huge difference and my son wouldn't want anything to do with his sister, maybe jealousy issues or something, but I haven't had any of that. In fact, he's the most loving, caring, and helpful brother. He is great with her and the bond between the two is very evident. I would encourage your child's involvement with this preg as much as you can. Obviously thee are going to be times that you can't include your other children, but for the most part, they are going to probably be curious. I allowed room for my son to entertain himself while I was preg. (I.E. Reading to belly, playing music...) Hope this helps!

It is a big gap, but it has been shown that big gaps allow the younger child to develop and consider him/herself as an only child. Only children have been shown to have certain advantages. They are independent thinkers, leaders, and self sufficient--all things that we want to see in our children. So see it as a blessing, and enjoy the pregnancy!

Whether it's a big gap or not is really irrelevant. It is what it is. You can't go back and change it now. :) In reading people's replies it sounds like some say yes and some say no. Yeah sure there are some benefits to kids being closer in age but the perfect gap in ages does not always mean a perfect relationship. I know people who are 5-6 years apart from their siblings who are very close, and I know people who are only 1-2 years young or older than their siblings who are as distant as can be. Whether the kids have a close relationship with each other will ultimately be up to them.

Congratulations on baby number 3!

My little sister is 9 years younger than me. We get along great! My parent's liked it because they always said I was a big help with my sister. So, try to think of it that way...they can help with things! I think it's great! And my sister likes it too!

I have 3 kids also , the age gap between the eldest and the youngest is 5 yrs , not the same as yours as you will have 6.5 yrs between middle and newborn , but what I found is the eldest has been really good with the baby , more so than the middle who was 2 1/2 when baby arrived. We had quite a bit of jealousy and she was mean to the baby for a while , I think the older they are the better they take it as they understand , it's probably harder on you getting used to sleepless nights again!

Anyway I don't think there is a right or wrong age difference , you do what suits your family.

Good luck and congratulations

Yes. My husband is 7 years older than his bother. He said it was like they were both only children. By the time his younger brother was old enough to really interact with him on his level, he was leaving for college. They have never been really close, they love each other and get along very well but not close.

Sure it is a big gap but it won't matter to them. Mine are 4 3/4 years apart and I don't have an issue with it. The older one helps out a lot with the little one. Sometimes I have to remember that the older one still needs attention too. It has its pros and cons on both sides of the coin. Good luck with your new baby :)

While there are many factors that will affect how this dynamic plays out in your family, my opinion is that it is not a huge gap. My firstborn and my second child are 5 years, 9 months apart. Even going from only child to sibling, it was an amazing and seamless transition. Because he is bright and mature for his age, he was able to look at things logically. We were able to talk easily about anything we, or he, felt concerned about. We talked with him about things that would change, what it would be like with a baby in the house, etc. Being older meant that he was independent enough to do things for himself if I was tied up with the baby and also that he could be involved in helping out - grabbing diapers, reading to the baby, etc. My son is so protective of his baby sister, he loves being silly with her and teaching her new things....everything from abc's to how to be a ninja. When our baby girl turned one, we found out we were expecting baby #3 and were worried how our oldest would take it. He had been so great to sharing us with one, but we thought he might be disappointed that we were having another baby. We made a special event out of telling him and took photos as he figured out the clues, you could see the genuine joy on his face when he realized he was becoming a big brother again. Now he has a 10 week old baby brother and a 23 month old baby sister and having the experience of two far apart in age and now two so close together, I have to say that larger gap was SO much easier than the closer one. I think your 9 and 6 year old will be helpful with their new sibling and being that they are older and independent, it will make it easier for you to have that one on one time with the newborn. Plus the middle child is graduating from youngest to BIG brother/sister, pretty cool promotion :) Best of luck. Families come in all age configurations, we all adjust and survive!! Peace & Light.

My sister and I are 6 years apart, to the month. We are the best of friends and I cherish her. I am the younger one and am sure at times I annoyed her, but out of 8 of us, her and I are the closest. I also raise my 2 neices, that are 6 years apart and again, they are good friends, and when they were younger the older sister was always looking out for her younger sis. Congrats and enjoy, nothing like a new life in the family.

Hi K.,
My three daughters are now 20, 16, and about to turn 11. So the second was born just as the first was turning 4, and the third was born when the first and second were 10 and 6, respectively. Here's what I have learned from watching them grow...
As I wanted and expected, each child got full on "mama time" as she came into the world. SHE was the only baby of the family, with no older sibling still needing nursing, diapering, teaching to walk, talk, or even still home all day. So each one of them got ALL the babying she needed with NONE of the sibling rivalry more typical of children born closer together.
Each of the older siblings, as the new baby came into the home, were old enough to be on to the next phase of their lives--and got full on "mama time" in THAT phase, without the competition from a sibling in THAT phase either. Each of them was old enough to not only learn to love the new baby, but to really help--both at the birth itself, and with the new baby, who each time had a loving big sister or two who absolutely loved "showing her the ropes".

Each of the younger ones, as they became more able to, became the "mascot", "dress up doll", and "fairy princess" for the older siblings' friends to play with too, without too much difficulty when the older kids wanted to just go off and do their own thing, since there wasn't a desire on the part of the younger to be doing the same things the older kids did.

As my eldest has moved into adulthood, I would say the one downside has been that the youngest really doesn't have the strong connection with her, right now. She has a very close connection with the middle one--who has a very close connection with the oldest one.

As an older sister who was 11 when my youngest brother was born, and only 2 1/2 when my first brother was born, I have to say I have a MUCH closer relationship now in adulthood with my "baby" brother....mainly because we never had the kind of competition for parental attention that my middle brother and I had that STILL has impacts on our adult relationship.

So I have confidence that eventually my own eldest and my youngest may still have a close and strong relationship, once they are BOTH adults.

I think you will find that your oldest child will be very able to not only handle watching you manage the demands of a new baby, but will be VERY able to help out with your baby in ways that will amaze and delight all of you!

Blessings,
Fiora

I can't tell you personally, but I have a friend with 3 kids and all of them are 8 years apart (16, 8, 0) and she finds the older ones to be a big help. Good luck!

My boys are 6.5 years apart, and I was very concerned about it when I was pregnant. They are almost 6 and 12 now, and I keep waiting for a rough patch (I know it will come eventually), but so far it has been wonderful! They get along so well. It helps that my 12 year old is extremely relaxed. He never gets irritated about anything. When my youngest was a baby/toddler, the oldest was a huge help. Now they are great friends! Of course with the age difference their interests differ some, but they both love playing outside, and my oldest loves teaching my youngest new things, and my youngest adores his brother. We haven't had to deal with jealousy issues at all. I really love the age difference. If I could, I would love to have another child spaced this far apart also. Congratulations on your growing family!

My oldest was 9.5 when I had my 6 yr old... most of the times they get alone (but my oldest now 15 doesn't live with us). I'm currently expecting my 5th child - at home we will have a 6 1/4 yr old girl and 5 yr old, 3 yr old & newborn boys. My 6 yr old was hoping for a little sister, but said that as long as she can shop & help with the baby she is ok w/ another baby brother. Oh, also that we have to keep trying for a baby sister for her - lol. I think my 6 yr old is the most excited about having a baby in the house. My soon to be 16 yr old tells me I'm to old to be having kids & I'm only 33 yr young.

I don't think the gap matters as long as you still show all your kids love & give them the attention they need. I'm sure it will be a change for everyone in the house since it has been 6.5 years since a baby blessed your family, but there are ways to help the other kids accept & embrase the changes.

I do let mine help pick stuff out for the baby - crib, carseat, clothes, toys, ect. Also, when I was nursing the boys, I would let my daughter pick a book, sit next to me and read to her and later both of the "middle" kids. I will do that again w/ my 3 that are living with us. When they ask to help - let them, but don't force them to... mine were a bit younger, but they liked getting the diaper or wipes for the diaper change, picking out a blanket to wrap the baby in, which outfit the baby would wear for the day and they loved helping to pack the diaper bag... they got to pick a snack to go in it for them - lol. I do know my 6 yr old is looking forward to reading to the baby... she has been trying to find books at home she can read & practicing them so she can read them well w/o mommy's help before the baby comes.

I feel as long as you keep the baby stuff happy & exciting for them - the other kids will be a big help & love having the baby around. My dad was a senior in high school when his baby brother was born and even now over 35 years later - they are super close. Actually - his brother was born just over a year before my sister was born... and my baby sister is only about 18 mo older then my oldest & my sister's oldest (our oldest are only 6 weeks apart & our youngest are about 3 wks apart - lol... that is till I have my next).

I wish you all the best & congratz on the new baby!

My oldest daughter is 6.5 years older than my oldest son. I then have another son 15 months younger and the last son is 6 years younger than middle son

28 yr old girl, 21 1/2 boy, 20 boy and 14 boy. so there is a 13 yr span between oldest and youngest with other two right in the middle. it is great in that the oldest is a big help with things like babysitting. but the youngest is now home alone (others are in college and daughter is married with children of her own) you do start things like diapers etc all over but it has worked out well for us.

I don't think so. I think its okay. There is a 13 yr gap between me and my sister and 15y between me and my brother.

There is a 5.5 yr gap between my two kids - unplanned. For me it was great. Just as I was going on maternity for #2, the first one started Kindergarten. So I had only one child to worry about/plan around during the day. The 1st is old enough to be independent and to help out as needed.

The only downside would be taking baby to any afterschool practices for the older 2. Especially in bad weather.

M.

My sister and I are 7 years apart (I am the oldest). There are good points and bad points... as there are with any siblings, no matter how close/far apart in age :)

When she was born, I remember wanting to be very involved. It was great and we were very close for the first several years. It got a little tougher when she was older (grade school age) and I was a teenager. We would fight over the only TV. Who would get their wish? MTV or cartoons? And I didn't like that my parents depended on me to be the constant babysitter.

Now though, my sister and I are the best of friends and really enjoy each others company :)

I would recommend only that you honor each of your children for what age/stage they are. A teenager may not always want to be babysitter or be stuck doing family activities centered around the youngest child. But truly, once they are older, any age differences won't really matter. Hope this helps!

There are 9 yrs between me and my next younger borther. 16 between me and the youngest. we get along great now.

I think it is a big gap, but it all depends on how your kids take to the new baby. My sister and I are 5 years apart. I am 22 and my sister is 17, a lot of times we always fought because I would get to do a lot more things since I was older and my sister always thought it wasn't fair. But only time will tell. Good luck and congratulations on the new little one. :)

Is there really a perfect age gap? My two kids are 10 yrs apart, and that wasn't done on purpose, that's just how it turned out. Would I have liked them closer in age... yes, but it didn't work out that way. So I look at it this way, I now have an extra 9 years to save up for another college fund. Plus, I won't feel that empty nest syndrome for a while either. Ha ha! The main thing is that they are healthy and happy! Congrats on your new addition.

I think you need to not worry about the difference in age and just be happy your family if growing.

I don't think there is any "good" age gap. Each fmily is different and it all depends on how you raise your children.

That said I have two children (boys), there is a 15 year gap between the two. Currently they are 15y & 8 months and so very fond of each other. I'm not saying I wasn't concerned before the baby came home because I was, but again the age was not something I could change at that point. Once we brought the baby home I knew right away they were going to be close.

Also, I have a younger half-sister (with no siblings in between us), I was starting 7th grade the day she was born. We were extremely close to each other, I loved her as if she was my own. Unfortunately I wasn't there for her in her teen years and she fell into the wrong crowd and we grew apart. She now lives on the other side of the country and only contacts family a couple times a year.

Congratulations on your growing family. Teach your children to love one another for who they are and their differences. Teach them the value of family and all will be well.

My youngest is 18 months and my other two are 12 and 14 and my step-daughter is 15. (I was a teenage mom). I think it is nice to have a big age gap. My older kids are really, really helpful and there was no jealousy when the baby arrived. Plus I know more on what work and doesn't work. Congrats and good luch!!

For what it's worth, my sister is eleven years older than I, and we are the best of friends. I think with any age gap, parents need to foster a healthy relationship with siblings.
Congratulations!

My girls are 6.5 years apart, and my oldest is 9 now. I'm planning on getting preggers again this year, so I'll be in the same boat. My girls are great together and me and my older sister are 6.5 apart and we are the best of friends! I love my sister! It'll be fine!

My childrens's ages are: 19, 16 and 8. Yes, it was like starting over with the youngest one, but she is amazing! I have 2 older boys, then last came the daughter. The much older siblings could be alot of extra help, but as they became teenagers, it isn't as cool. I dont regret it for a second, and am now divorced raising them by myself. My baby girl brings much joy into my life. One time last year, my boys said that I favor her. That is the only issue I have had. I explained to them that I gave them the same kind of attention when they were 7. My role with them is mom of a teenager who doesn't want me around and who thinks I can be embarrassing, and my role with a 7 year old is a nurturer. If I treated them the same way, they would be like. "GET AWAY! Give me some space!" Since I explained it to them, The issue has gone away.

To me it's a big gap. But I'm done having kids. Mine are 3 years apart. But to you it's ok. It's your family :) You decide what's best for you and your family. Good luck! Many families do it and have done it and still continue to do it. You'll be fine :) Congrats! Now go worry about something important like what's for dinner LOL. Just kidding. Good luck :)

There are wide gaps among my siblings and me. I'm the oldest. Only 2 1/2 years between me and my brother, the next child; then 12 years between me and the third and 14 1/2 years between me and the youngest. I'm the only girl. The brother closest in age to me and I never got along well but I got along really well with the next 2 brothers. And all of the brothers got along as well as most sibs do. I really think that age differences do not make such a big difference. Personality and parental expectations have a greater influence.

I was more of a big sister, babysitter, play with babies sort of a sib to my younger 2 brothers. After I reached adulthood I realized my oldest brother, who is just 2 1/2 years younger than me was probably jealous of the attention I received because I was the first grandchild and a girl. Girls seemed to be much more valued in our family.

My mother declared often that she was fortunate to have older children who could help as well as have fun with the younger children. I liked being big sister. I think I would've hated to have 3 brothers close in age. As it was, it was only 1 brother who gave me grief. :)

As adults we all get along.

It was definitely easier to have my 2 younger brothers around than it was to have my oldest brother around. There was no competition and they didn't expect to do everything I did or even to be treated the same as I was. They looked up to me and thought I was great.

When I was getting my driver's license I heard my youngest brother tell his friends that he was sad because my having a driver's license meant I'd move away.

Having children spaced this far apart is somewhat like having a second family according to my mother. She said not only was she more experienced but there was more information and better products available.

I have 6 kids, oldest is 29, 2 @ 28, 25, 24, youngest is 6. There is a small amount of jealousy with the older one's (youngest has more stuff then they had and single parent) I explaned to them they got more mom time then he does (I work now) other wise they get a long. I have grandkids the same age, well. I take time out to spend with the older kids. they like it, because we are doing things the youngest one can't do.

It will be a lot easier than the onthers. The older kids will be more helpful and enjoy the baby alot. My kids are 12, 10, and 1.The older ones didn't want me to a baby but they are so happy know. And the baby is very protect for anything and everything by his big brothers. It will be really different but in a great way. Enjoy

I have twins who are 11, a 10 year old and twins who are 4. The oldest and youngest are 7 years apart.

It's actually a lot of fun. The younger girls look up to the older girls so much. The older girls love teaching them things. They have a wonderful relationship.

Of course the little ones get on their nerves a little. But, I'm sure that's normal.

My husband is 11 and 9 years younger than his brothers. He has a great relationship with them, although it is different from my relationship with my brother (age difference of 22-months). I don't think it's too big a gap at all.