" Kid Glove " MIL

Relax and try your darndest to enjoy the visit. Sometimes I find if I am nervous about what to say or what not to say then that is when my foot is pretty much firmly planted in my mouth. I have some family that are offended even at times when everyone is working hard to play nice. Some just get offended easily because of how they perceive everyone's action/motives. Try being yourself and showing MIL a good time. Smile and ask her alot of questions about herself..her life..hobbies..movies she's seen recently...books she's read. Get to know her better. Good luck!!

How your mil feels is her responsibility. Relax and be yourself. If she's offended it's her problem. don't try to fix it. Do what you can to make the visit pleasant without walking on egg shells. Remember, it's just a visit and if she's upset, she's leaving soon.

Go OUT, a lot. Seriously, as much as possible, that way she can complain about the restaurant (or store, or whatever,) not you!!! Good luck :)

Ugh, people like this are so tiring! They're so self-involved.

You cannot please this woman, don't even try. Just be yourself and treat her as you would any other guest. If she reacts badly, it's not your responsibility to make her feel differently. She's responsible for her own behavior. And if she corners you complaining about something, just use your other guests as an excuse to get away (i.e. you need to check people's drinks, etc.)

Be yourself and treat her like you would treat a friend or any other guest. Try to remove the mil syndrome from the equation. If she's brave enough to meet you on your territory, you should be brave enough to treat her as a guest... a guest with issues, but a guest none the less. Good luck.

Just be yourself. Smile and tell her you are glad she could come visit. Ask her if shed like to help make a salad for dinner. Tell her your kids would love if she would read a story to them. Ask her if she would like to go for a walk with you. Have a good visit.

Oh geeze, I have a relative like this too, constantly creating drama out of nothing. One day, I finally told her, "Not everyone is as concerned about you as you are." I told her she played victim too much and it really got in the way of people developing sincere relationships with her.

So, maybe your mil isn't close enough to you to tell her that, so I would just keep conversations light and about simple stuff, like the weather.

"I'm sorry you feel that way....where were we? Oh, did you hear about the weather?"

I spent 24 years walking on egg shells. My Mil sucked up all my good will and respect and energy. It didn't matter. Her husband died suddenly and she has completely pushed everyone away and lied to everyone. Bottom line is she would rather have lies and other people's pity than truth and the love of her children. I don't have any regrets because she used me but don't compromise any on your core values or relationships for her. Live your life and realize it's her problem not yours.

i say don't overthink it, you're setting yourself up for failure....J. plan some fun stuff to keep hr busy, maybe let her watch the kids and you and your husband can go out to avoid her....and who knows maybe not overthinking it and treating her normal will pay off....worst case she gets mad and your husband talks her down.

Ask her questions. People love to be asked about themselves and talk. True fact. And you just might learn a lot of neat things about your husband's growing up years :)
~A.

I've had friends like this that luckily I was able to ease out of my life, but you can't do that with your mother-in-law.

You can be thoughtful about her feelings without walking on eggshells around her. Since you can't change her, you're going to have to change your attitude starting today and make it a point to force yourself to have a more positive outlook about the visit. Try to be understanding. Has she had reason in her past to feel this way? I'll bet there some serious family history feeding her issues, and as a result she's probably hyper-sensitive to feeling like people dislike her. She probably doesn't want anyone to dislike her or talk about her behind her back because that makes her feel vulnerable.

Get her to open up and talk about her life and share with her as well. Be positive and upbeat with her. Don't go looking for something to complain about when she's visiting. If you go looking for trouble, then you'll find it. Obviously if she treats you poorly, don't look the other way and don't accept it. If she's offensive that shouldn't pass.

If she seems to get overly offended in spite of everyone's efforts then I would ignore her the first time. The next time it happens, ask her casually what's wrong, then say something like, "Oh, that's too bad you feel that way. Well, anyway _____." Lather, rinse, repeat.

We teach people how they should treat us. She's teaching people that she wants to be treated like a child? No... now you get to retrain her and teach her that you expect to be treated like an adult and that you'll treat her like an adult (and with kindness) regardless of how she behaves.

if your mil has a why me complex then why are you invited her over if you you are going to be uncomfortable all weekend?. say the word "no" or expect more of the same, or pick up the phone, and make plans to not there, so you wont have to deal with her, she is his mother, not yours, act like it.
K. h.