Just Some Advice

Well you are half right in my opinion. I agree he should not use foul language towards you. But if he is saying this in any other manner what is the big deal really. They are just words. A form of expression. I would tell him nicely if he is just using them in manner that you don't like it. But i sure as heck wouldn't say to him that if you choose to use these words go live with your dad. Idle threats are pointless. Not to mention you are telling him that something as insignificant as swearing will exclude him from your house. That you don't really want him all that much. I mean that has to hurt pretty bad. If you tell him that using those words you don't like and he shouldn't use them in your house is fine. It will take time to reprogram to not use these words. I mean no one wants to be nagged night in day so he will start to taper off on using them. Now if he is calling you names that is a whole other story...I would be much firmer with that.

You know I am only 25 and I didn't swear at my mom or ever in her prescence. But I had siblings who did. Mom did just this and you know what it worked, well for that matter. Mind you when mom wasn't around they swore like sailors. LOL!

No you did the right thing if he thinks that the grass is so much greener or the other side then let him go. eventually he will find out that you are not so bad after all but he has to figure that out on his own and maybe you should talk to his father about the things that he lets them do when he is over there it shouldn't be any different at daddys than at mommys. I have been through the whole thing my self. there is a saying my dad and STEP-mom told me when I wanted to go live with my mom because I thought life would be so much better and this saying has stuck with me every since then. I am divorced with 2 children and I use it even now. your 16yr. olds father should not be such a disneyland father giving him what he wants when he wants it and letting him do what he wants when he wants he will grow up to resent his father for that. IF YOU LOVE THEM LET THEM GO, IF THEY COME BACK THEY ARE YOURS TO KEEP IF THEY DON'T THEY WERE NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH. EVEN THOUGH ITS HARD YOU HAVE TO LET HIM GO AND FIGURE LIFE OUT HIM SELF. hE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU YOUR HIS MOTHER. JUST LET HIM GO YOU DESERVE RESPECT TOO.

I think that you did the right thing!! If he wants to live in your house then he needs to follow your rules!!

If he wanted to come live with you, then he did for a reason. But he has to understand there are rules. Just because his dad does one thing may not be the proper thing. Swearing is something that is not proper or respectful. It is your home and you set the rules, so if he chooses not to follow them, then he'll need to move back to dad's. I don't know if I'd tell him he could choose, because then that puts the control into his hands and that's what he's already trying to do. I'd phrase as these are the ground rules, these are the consequences.

You were not wrong. The thing about the situation is that your son has been with his father with little discipline and structure it sounds like and that is going to make it hard to deal with. When you let them get away with stuff for so long then suddenly demand that they have discipline and structure they will rebel. When my mom remarried her husbands kids were like that, while my brother and i were brought up to be respectful and were brought up with discipline. It was very hard for them to adjust and led to some pretty hefty disputes but now it has died out after about 4 years. I would give him rules slowly and in a way that doesn't sound like you are giving him a ton of rules.

Thats a hard one, but i do know that you need to be treated with respect. you are his mother and if you let him walk over you now then it will prob never stop. However i would pick my battles with him, because other wise you may find yourself always arguing and he will start letting it go in one ear and out the other. I think you made the right decission but remember when you say things like that you will have to live with his decissions. good luck, these very hard times for you and your boys

There is a reason your son is acting out. Divorce is hard on kids and moving out of dads house has to be hard as well. You need to talk to him and find out what is going on. Choose a time when you both have had a good day. The right decisions are not always made in the heat of the moment. We all know how difficult teenagers can be, but by saying choose where you are the happiest you are putting more stress on your son. Always choose your kids first.