Just Curious - Suffolk,VA

hello,

i think its better to have them close together because then they can relate better to one another. me and my sisters are spaced out and it is kindof more like we take care of each other instead of friendships. on the other hand i also think you should just do what feels right to you.
B. D

My kids are 17 months apart and I think is has been great. They play so well together. I'm glad that I had them so close at age. Now them as teenagers might be a different story who knows. I say don't put them 3 or 4 yrs apart. Let them have some things in common with them growing up so close as age,

My doctor said for lots of reasons all the professionals who disagree on everything else agree that 3 yrs in seperation is best. He also said that he and his wife decided to have their 4 very close together to get it over with and hoped for good relationships. Now he tells everyone to space them 4 yrs apart because he's paying for all 4 of his girls college at the same time!:o)

I have a 7 yr old, 4 yr old and 3 yr old. If I did it again I'd space the to litle ones out a bit. Perhaps when they're older I'll see the benefits but right now I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Hi A.! My boys are 15, 11, and 9. My girls are 4 and 3. Both have their pros and cons. When I had my first two, it was nice having 4 years between them. My oldest was potty trained before the second came along, so I didn't have two in diapers at the same time. That helped alot on the checkbook. There is only 18 months between the girls. It is nice to have them close together so they can share clothes, but it was much more expensive for us. Two on baby food at the same time and two in diapers and then pullups at the same time. But now they are both potty trained, so it is nice to have them out of diapers together and they will start school back to back. And then it will be just me at home. Whew!!! I have had a child home with me for 15 years now. It will be nice to watch something besides Barney.

B. Deck
www.ubah.com/X2733
____@____.com

My DH and I did not plan to have our children so close, but ours are 13 mos apart. I won't lie -- it has been HARD having two babies, and it was difficult being PG while carrying around a baby, but now that they are 1 and 2 I feel like it was worth every second. I love how close they are, and I really look forward to watching them grow up together. When my DH and I found out we were again PG with our third, and this one will be 20 mos younger than the second, we decided it was just our fate to have our kids close together. LOL. We figure we'll get all the diapers done at once, and then move on to deal with the next hurdles that come our way. There is obviously no right way, and the decision is completely personal, but I won't say that my life is any worse or better than anyone else out there -- I just have different challenges (like fitting 3 carseats in a car). It's wonderful no matter how far apart or close together they are.

One benefit I will mention, though, is that my son never had any transition when it came to bringing my daughter home. He was so young, he didn't really even notice or care, and there were never any jealousy issues or acting out at all. At this point, he won't ever remember NOT having a baby sister, and I love that.

My sister and I are 2 1/2 years apart and I feel that it has worked out well for the two of us. We are close enough together to do things together (go to camps and things like that) and still far enough apart to have different friends. In my opinion, I would love to have another little munchkin close to my daughter's age (she is almost 3 now); however, we have decided to not have another until I finish school (which is 3 years from now). It's really a personal choice. Hope that helps you a bit. Good luck!

I just had my second son 19 months after my first and I'm surviving! I look forward to them being really close and able to participate in the same activities together. My sister and I were 4 years apart and we weren't close until adulthood.

Good luck!

I think this depends on the personality of the first child and what the parents can take. Our kids are 2yrs 9 mo apart and it was a hard age to introduce a new baby to our first child. At age 2 they seem to adore new babies and haven't carved out their own place. That said, my 2 1/2 yr old is facinated with all other kids and I don't think he would have any problems with a new baby. I know people who have had them 15 months apart and say it is easier in some ways and difficult in others. I know someone who has them 5 yrs apart and now that they are older (10 and 15) it is harder because the 10 yr old wants to be with the 15 yo and the 15 yo doesn't want his kid brother hanging around. I would just do what you think is best for your family.

My first 4 are 20 mo. apart each. They love each other, play with each other and get along very well. My next 2 are 3yr and 4yr apart. They also are loved and play with the others and get along well. I do not think it matters too much. I think your attitude makes the biggest difference. If you want more kids sooner than later then I say go for it.

Our boys are actually 5 yrs apart and it is WONDERFUL! They are best friends and play really well together. My husband and I had wanted and tried for 2yrs apart but it just didn't happen for us. My sister's children are around 3yrs apart and she is having such a hard time right now with them. One just turned 5 and the other is almost 2yrs old and this is a tough age. But I hear that it does get better as they get older. At 5yrs old, my oldest was a BIG helper with his new baby brother. He loved helping me too. He would stay up late with me and we'd watch some good old shows on tv late at night. What wonderful memories!

Good Luck to you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13, 8 & 2yrs old and married for 15 yrs to my Mr. Wonderful. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

i my self have a little boy who will turn 3 in june of 09

and am pregnant with my 2nd

i am glad to have had the time to get to know and play with my son before adding a nother one.

now my son will have a couple of years at home with the new baby and then off to school and by that time the new baby will be old enough to enjoy mum and me time.

so i think that 3 years (or as close to ) is a good spacing, that way hopefully you wont have as much stress cos your eldest can help you a little more, like get the diaper and find the binky help calm the baby down entertain while you cook dinner .

and the oldest is old enough to understand a little more.
but the most important part is you get to spend that precious time with the eldest

just my op

A.,

I have to believe that this is a totally personal call. And I can't speak to being pregnant with one, while another is in diapers and crawling (mine are adopted and were handed to us together at 5mos and 15mos - they are sisters). It has been a total zoo at times, but they are so close, I couldn't imagine them any other way. They bicker and play and hold hands and fall asleep together(after pushing and shoving each other smashed into one toddler bed because they have decided to share for the night) like only sisters so close in age can do...My girls are in different classes at the same learning center, so have the same friends, share the same toys (when they feel like sharing), etc. Anyway, my husband has 3 cousins. Each born 5-7 yrs from the next in line. They had no shared friends, no shared games, and talk about being raised almost like 3 only children. The love was always there, but they didn't grow up together.

I think that there is definitly a window of opportunity to have kids together where they will be playmates and friends without driving you nuts. I hope you can find your balance. 3-4 yrs is probably not too long, just be careful about waiting too long if you want your children to share experiences. Good luck.

S. - mom of beautiful 2 and 3 yr old girls. wife of a wonderful man with a sense of humor about the gifts we have been given.

Hi A.,
I tend to think after one is potty trained I'd have another baby so I wouldn't have to deal with so many diapers but I also know or have observed that having kids close together seems to work fine too, it's just more chaotic I think:) But at least the older one is growing up with a close friend and playing with the same toys, etc. So either way seems fine to me. I personally want to wait until my little girl is 4 though. I don't think I can take more than one kid whining at a time...yeah, she's a big whiner at 2 1/2:) Good luck!! :)

I have done it both ways. I have 3 kids. My oldest daughter is 9 and the middle daughter is 2 1/2 (so 6 1/2yrs between them). I also have a 1 year old son (so they are 20mos apart). For me 6 1/2yrs is too far apart and 20mos apart is too close together. I think that 2 1/2- 3yrs apart would be perfect. I also think that if varies from person to person. Some people want to get it all done with quickly (bottles, diapers, formula, etc...) so close together works for them. Good Luck.

I think is is an entirly personal choice...there is no wrong way!!! I persoanly waited years inbetween my boys, 5 whole years and now my youngest is almosy 4 and I donnot have any immediate plans to get pregnate...but I do want another child in the future.I have sisters tho who's children were only 6 months old when they got pregnate again and it has worked out great for them as well.You just have to way the pro's and con's for your self.If you have your children closer together I have heard there bond is amazing...but that it is very hard on the mommy for the early years..almost like having twins.Having them far apart I can tell you from personal experiance has taken alot of the stress out of having more than one child...my oldest was so self sufficiant at 5 when my baby was born that he totaly got the fact that the baby needed alot of attention and he just joined in on the attention that the new baby got...he absolutly loves his little brother and there is no sibling rivalry between them,I also felt like I got to spend as much time with my seconed as I did with my first....my oldest is in school full time so me and my youngest get all the one on one time that me and my oldest got together wich you cannot have if you have them close together.but the down side is I know in the forseeable future my boys will be worlds apart... like when my oldest is 15 and my youngest is 10 I can see the age difference realy hurting there relationship because what teenager wants there 10 year old little brother around.So just way the pro's and con's for your self and find out which way will fit best into your life.You caint go wrong ither way!!!

I am now pregnant with my second and there will be 21 months between the two. After asking lots of people, I can say that I have not talk to a single mom that said she regrets having her children close together. They all say it was busy at first, but aren't we all busy at first?

I was told birthday to birthday it should be at least two years if your first was a c-section to allow time for healing and minimize the risk of rupture. My doctor said wait 9 months before getting pregnant with the second, to allow your hormones to balance out again.

Personally, I think that you and your husband are the only ones that can decided whether the time is right. You'll be the ones doing the dirty work and enjoying all that baby love too!

I have three kids and they are 3.5 and 4 years apart. It was great when they were babies, no diapers at the same time, older ones could help with the little ones. But when they are closer together, they are natural playmates. Farther apart, babysitters :o) Depends on your patience level for changing multiple diapers in a day and running after two small ones, in my opinion. I love having mine a little bit farther apart. My oldest is almost in high school, then off to college :o( but I will still have two more at home for at least 8 more years.

I was in this Mommy group in Bethesda almost two years ago. One of the discussion topics was about how far apart the kids should be. Almost everyone said about two years. Well I didn't plan on having another child for awhile...like 5 years. Well surprise I found out I was pregnant again last feb. and in October had another boy. My first boy was born on Oct. 17 2006 and my second was due on Oct 16 of 2008, but had him on October 13 2008. At first the first born, Caiden, was jealous. The jealousy last for about 3 weeks and now he wants to help and play with Colten who now is almost 3 months old. For me it is wonderful. I know think the closer the kids are in age, the better. As the get older the closer in age they are, the more interested they are in the same activities and the same milestones they will have. I would love the have another child, but my husband says we are done :( Hope this helps!

Personally, I wanted our first child out of diapers before the second child came along. Our first was three years old when the second was born. She was a help to me in caring for her brother and they played together well. AF

I am a mother I have three of my own. My oldest is 7 will be 8 in jan the 15 month between her and my second which is 6 and then I have 9 and half months between her and my little boy. they are inspertable except for school.. They are really cute together and he is very protective for her so having them close together is not so bad. Just let the older one help out when the baby would be born , I learned mine loves to help by getting diapers and laying out the outfits or at least picking it out. Hope it helps and good luck..To me a year or year and half is a great break so you can enjoy them.....

I have four children ages 6, 4, 2, and 11 months. I personally feel that there are a lot of benefits to having them close together. My experience with the first two was that when I had my 4yr my 6yr had not started that mine stage and never did. I have not had that problem with any of them. As one child was about to join the family we potty trained and got them ready for the big boy/girl bed. It forces the kids to do for themselves a little bit more which is a very good thing for independence. My husband originally wanted to have them 4yrs apart and is very happy that we did not do that. Everything happens in waves and once its gone its gone. We would not have changed a single thing and would do it all over again. Good luck

if you have the stamina and energy to change two butts feed two mouths and carry them both alot then have them close. i think kids can enjoy each other longer when they are close together in age. mine are 5 years apart because God knew i didnt have the energy. i love kids and babies but i dont get enough energy as it is with one in diapers and needing me every few minutes. also think about wether you only want two or do you want more do you want to be done having babies bya certain age or do you possibly want say 2 but fel if you had your two early that later you might watnt another because it had been awhile sense you had a baby. in that case hold off so that your last is close to the age you wan to be done at. hope that makes sense. this is what i have come up with for myself and i'm happy with it. 3 kids 5 years apart at least thats what im hoping for.

My kids are 23 months apart and I love it! They are best friends and to great together. My son is 4 1/2 and daughter is 2 1/2. The first year with two was difficult, but wouldn't trade it for a bigger space between them!!

Hi, A.,
I've had them both ways. My first two, both girls, were 2 and a half years apart. The next girl cam 5 years later, and the youngest, my son, 6 years after that. The age range between the oldest and youngest was 13 years. It didn't seem to make much of a difference when it came to their getting along. They still had their sibling spats, and they had the times when they got along. The major difference was when I went out with the first two, it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do it by myself. When the third came along, the other two were both in school by then, so it was pretty easy to do shopping and such, and there was alot of time to spend one-on-one. So that is very nice.

S.

Hi, A. - I had my girls 4 years apart. Personally, I didn't want two babies at once. I LOVED the baby part and wanted to savor each moment. I also figured that I wouldn't have two kids at the same bad stage at the same time, or two kids in college at the same time. For me, the 4 years apart spacing was perfect! Good luck with your decision. Obviously, there are pros and cons to doing it either way. Wishing you all the best in 2009! N.

My husband and his brother are almost 1 1/2 years apart and they are like glue! My mom has also dated a few guys who have brothers close in age like that and they are the same way- tweedledee and tweedledum. I think it's great, nothing could give you that close of a lifetime friendship. On the other hand I think a max of 3 years apart is best if you want them to be close friends, after that they just can't relate to each other at the same time. Me and my brother are very far apart (8 years) and I will always see him more as a child and not a brother I can talk about detailed stuff with. However it was nice for my mom to have a child to help with the baby and even babysit! I say go for it and just make sure you get all your nutrition during pregnancy.

A. my girls are 21/2 years apart and I would not have had it anyother way.Don't wait too long my husband and I have talked about a 3rd child but our baby will be 4 in Jan.. Theres no way I could start all over again. Good luck.
B.

Anything can work or not work. You will find people who enjoy or don't enjoy every arrangement. My kids are basically three and a half years apart, and that has been terrific for us. They are great friends and it wasn't too overwhelming when they were little. Whatever you decide to do, try to look for the best of the situation -- keeping positive and looking on the bright side always helps!

I see you have alot of responses. Our two boys are 1 year and 2 weeks apart. (wasn't suppose to be that close, but it happened). It was a little rough in the beginning. Our first was learning to walk and exploring everthing, I was trying to breast feed (well pump, b/c he wouldn't latch). Plus our second had colic and would cry all the time. If you do have them close, I strongly recommend anything you do with your second, to include your first in as well. As I would let our first get diapers or a toy to help out with the second. Now that they are older they are getting along better, they wrestle and play tag, will sit and play with toys together. They are soon to be 3 and soon to be 2. Hope this helps in your decision. Good Luck with what ever you decide.

I echo what most people are saying about it being a personal choice and either way can be wonderful and EITHER WAY can be hectic--yes, having two (or three) in diapers can be tough (not just because of the diapers, but you then have at least two who are too young to really reason with, etc), however, I can imagine it would be tough to be guiding a child through the minefield of Junior High while sleep deprived and caring for an infant as well. Parenting is hard work, no matter what the ages of the children, but no work on this earth is more rewarding and fufilling. That is why I am undertaking it for the fourth time.

I have three and one on the way--ages 4, 3, 17 months, and the new one is due in June '09. Because my hubby and I waited for many years after getting married to have our first one and because we wanted several and because I am paranoid that I might have problems trying to get pregnant in my 40s, I decided to have mine close together. It was the only way to have all the kids I wanted and do it before I was in my 40s (as I would have to be if I spaced them out by 3 or 4 years each). My first two are 13 months apart, the second and third are 22 months apart, and the baby-in-waiting will be 23 months apart from my third. It can be crazy around here but to be honest, we have many more funny, silly, happy, cuddley times than stressful or bad times. Not that we are NEVER stressed but if I had the choice to go back and change things up (either start younger--I was 31 when I had my first) or wait longer in between, I would not change one thing.

I will say this--the four year old can be very helpful with my youngest. So I can see the value of having a child who is a little older when a baby comes into the house. She lets me know when he is getting into something he shouldn't, or she'll try to redirect him and distract him if she sees him moving toward something he shouldn't be doing or that might hurt him. She's a very responsible little mama!

If you have a strong desire to have another child now and not wait, I think you should listen to your instincts. If you have a strong sense that it would be too much for you now or feel deep down you would like to space them apart more, don't let anyone else talk you into having one now. Only you really know what is right for you! Good luck!

I have 3 kids, 2 and a half, 1 and a half and 2 months. They keep me busy, never much time for myself unless hubby is helping after work or on weekends, but I am glad I've had them all close, they are also all still in diapers, yep 3 sets. The good news is the other 2 don't need changing as much as the baby baby.

My first 2 are very close and then the middle one loves the baby always wanting to be with him and hold him. I like the fact they will grow up as close friends. It wasn't exactly what we planned but none the less.

Now we have to figure out when to have then next 2 close also or make a bit more of a gap. In the end I suspect they will be surprises also. I prefer to let what will be will be.

Others are very planned about such things. Good luck deciding. I will say that if they are close together then it's nice to have some family etc... nearby, we have no family so it makes it harder if we need to do things that the kids aren't or can't. But we make it work one way or another.

My three girls were born Mar 04, Jan 06 and Feb 08. I love the closeness of their ages. They share a room and play well together. They really love having a playmate all the time. Everyone says about 2 in diapers well I used that to fully potty train them by 27 & 26 months old. I felt that the new addition made potty training a priority for the one above. I also think that they never really realized that they were the baby so they were never theatened by the new arrival.
What ever you do will work out. I also know that sometimes getting pregnant can take longer than it did the first time. I tried for 11 yrs for the first one and needed fertility for all of them. So my spacing was pretty deliberate.

A.,
I have 5 and my first 2 are 4 yrs apart and personally I think the gap is to large. My other 4 are 17 months, 18 months and 23 months apart and all though it is very crazy haveing a new little one in the house while still have a some what of a little one I personally think it is great. It is easier for them to share a bedroom and their interest are more on the same level, ex. TV shows and toys. My now 10 yr old wants to watch Zack and Cody on Disney while my younger ones want to watch Curious George. If I could have spaced them out by just a few more months I think I would have but honestly I love have them closes to gether and watching them grow up together. Good luck in your decision! Have a very Happy New Year.

It was our decision to have our children close together (22 months apart). For us, we discovered that our daughter was not mature enough to handle the transition. She did not take my son's arrival easily, and it took us weeks to get her to not bug out as soon as she and my son were in the same room. However, I still feel that the benefits of having them closer (they grow up together basically and are at similar cognitive levels) make it worth while. Plus there is the added bonus of getting out of diapers sooner. :) My friends who decided to wait to have their kids until their older one was 3-4 seemed to have an easier transition when they brought the baby home.

My brother and I are 3 1/2 yrs apart, and we are still not close. I don't think we ever will be. I hope that my kids are going to be closer than my brother and I are. But if you do decide to have them close, just know that it will be harder at first, then get easier...

Good luck in making your decision.

I loved it, my first 2 were 23 months apart. They were close growing up. My first was a girl and she was alomst perfect, the second, boy didn't require all the nursing my girl did and was easy too!
Personal preference...what's really in your heart...follow that!!!

God is good!

Hi,
I think they should be closer together. Of course that is my opinion. I have two myself. My son is 5 and my daughter is 3. They for the most part get along pretty good. They play together and have a good time together. I also think it's good because they can share personal things with one another and if they get along good then be like bestfriends.
That is what I am hoping for with my two. Anyways. Good luck with the advice and God Bless
S.

My kids are 17 months apart. I'll be the first to admit that the first year was trying at times to say the least, but now they're 9 & almost 8 years old & I'm thrilled they're so close! They have built-in playmates & share most of their friends & are both into the same types of movies, board games, etc. It's also good for them to be able to look out for each other in school & on the playground, times that my husband & I can't be there with them. Ultimately, you need to decide if you think you can handle having 2 in diapers together, possibly having 2 not quite sleeping through the night and other things like that.

I'll let you know soon enough!!! My 2nd son is about to be born and my boys will be 26 months apart or so.

Dear A.!

Happy New Year!

I have 7 kids...current ages 19, 18, 17, 15, 13, and 12 yo twins. They are any where from almost exactly 2 years apart to only 14 months apart. Yes, it was very busy when they were little...at several points I had three in diapers at once...when one needed a change...they ALL got a 'check'! I cannot imagine doing it any other way. I look back with very fond memories on their younger days. And...to be honest, chasing a few toddlers around is a good way to keep off unwanted pounds!

This holiday season I really had a chance to observe them as young adults together...as the college guys are home thru mid january...and I remain amazed at how well they get along! The college ones went to HS to see old teachers. We get sort of 'extra' attention thru school system some how as the 'W' kids have had so many of the same teachers over time. They have many 'friends' in common...or know sibs of each other's friends.

Next year there will be 3 in college, but there have been scholarships...and the older 4 all work as well as go to school.

One of the things I like about so many...so close in age.. is that there are some lessons that are difficult to teach, that they learned thru 'living' them. They have to cooperate, share, 'pitch in', learn compassion...to name a few.

I agree that this is a very personal decision (or sometimes not...) I was told after first one that I may not be ABLE to get preggers again!! LOL! But know that whatever you decide - or whatever happens - you will handle it! MAMAS are a strong breed!!

All the best to ALL in this NEW YEAR!!

Michele/catwalk

Hey Again A.,

I have five children ages 13 years, 11 years, 5 years, 4 years and 11 months old. My 5 and 4 year old are 19 months apart. It was very challanging for me having little ones so close together at first, but as they have grown older. They fight like cats and dogs when there together and tney cry when there apart. So it's really up to you. For my 13 and 11 year old they don't fight that much and they are very close as well.

www.jenniferzaranis.com

This is really a topic where there "is no one true way". It's mostly a matter of what you are most comfortable with.

Just to share my "way" with you, my mom had 4 children under the age of 5 when my youngest sib was born. Only the youngest two were very close to each other and not to the older two who weren't even very close to each other. It was very irritating for me to grow up in a home where everyone was so close in age. It seemed that I always got treated like I was going to repeat my older sister's mistakes or misbehave like my younger sibs and I think part of that was being so close in age. There wasn't much separation and thus there wasn't much perspective. I also didn't like having to compete for my parent's attention and for friends with my younger brother (10 mo younger than me). But that's a little extreme I think.

Anyways, my two boys are 5 years apart (6 yo and 15 mo) and they absolutely ADORE each other. I love having a large age gap. This way I can be sure that I am handling each of them according to their own maturity level instead of reacting to one as if they were the other. I also love it because each of them really got to be the "baby" and I got to really devote myself to their early development individually including sleep training, breastfeeding and so on. I also liked having a break from diapers for a few years before diving back in! lol It also helped my older son when the baby came home from the hospital. He was old enough that he didn't feel any jealousy. He just felt pride and responsibility and he was an awesome helper. He loves being the more grown up one and working on teaching the baby new things with me. The hubs and I plan to have another one in about another 5 years or so. This way I suffer from very little "burn out" and when I do (usually about every 6 months or so) it's always fixable by two hours to go get a pedicure by myself. After that I can't wait to get back to my boys.

So anyways, my preference is to space them out so you can give each the very best of you at all times on the different levels they need. But some moms manage that with close pregnancies. Maybe I'm just not that good. :)

I have three children, all about 3 years apart. By June, they will be 6, 4, and 2. I can't imagine waiting any longer because I never really got out of the baby mode. My husband and I recently decided we were set as a family and do not need any more children, and I think part of that comes from the fact that we are getting some of our time back. The kids can all go play in the basement and we don't worry about them. I have another friend that is having a child this summer, and her only other child will be 6 in the fall. I think it will be much harder for them because they have had a fully potty trained, sleeping through the night, can entertain himself child for about 3 years now - and they have to start all over...but that's my view on it :).

there is no universal better or worse. there is simply personal preference, and even that will be tempered by the individual temperments of the kids. having 'em close can be wonderful if they get along and nightmarish if they're fighters.
both have pros and cons. every family has to weigh them for themselves.
khairete
S.

Hi A.!

Hmmm, I see you have a lot of responses. I just wanted to give you my view. We have three little ones. 3,2, and 9mos. It is BUSY. Actually, that is an undestatement. My hubby is the oldest of five, and I am the oldest of two-- ten yrs apart, from the same parents (no step father/mother). I have a different perspective in that, when I "grew up and got married" I was going to wait five yrs before children. My hubby and I were told that I would never be able to have kiddies ( and they say drs. know it all lol) Uh well without help, and on the pill I became preggers in three mos. We had our first a month after our 1yr. anniversary, and then got preggers with our second six mos later. My kids are 14mos, and then 19mos apart. I LOVE IT! Most think we have our hands full, but my thought on that is "better to have full than empty hands!" My husband and I love that they play together, and are experiencing life with a friend, roomate, and family member. My brother and I are now 19, and 29 and while we were close as children, life happens, and I think that we are more seperated by a generation gap rather than good friends like we used to be. I realize that waiting a few yrs. between each child can have benefits, certainly health-wise and probably sanity wise as well.. but if you do find yourself in a situation that you didn't plan, remember that the blessings can be just as great, and sometimes even better than if they were planned. For the record, my kids are best friends, they rarely squabble, and truely rely and help each other out when ever they can... as much as they can at this age.I think that having children is one of those "just leap head first and do it" kinda things. You can't ever be prepared enough, or financially secure enough, rested enough for the second, or sane enough to hit the teen yrs.... it just happens. Best wishes making your decision! :)