Just a Question - San Antonio, TX

E., I think every women "sometimes" think we hate our husband for many reasons but hey they probably feel the same about us sometimes. It's hard being marry and living with another person. I find it emotionally draining sometimes. But we love them nevertheless. I understand what you mean when you say it makes you madder when it seems like he doesn't care. Just remember men don't always show their emotions it is very hard for some them. I can't believe that your children are that needing right now, the youngest maybe a handful but have you asked him well he feels so stressed out when he watching them. My hausband knows that staying at home with three children is stressfull on me and on Saturdays I try to get away from everything and he watching the 2 & 3 y/o all the day. My 8y/o stay at my moms every weekend. My husband does act like it easy to stay at home sometimes but then he stays home with all of them and it gives him a reality check. My advise would to talk to him but not in a judgemental way and not when ya'll are stressed out, like in the morning or night when the kids have gone to sleep. Ask him exact what is bothering him and offer some solutions. Ask him to take one of the kids to the park or do an activty with one. Hope this helps.
L.

I dont know how you feel about antidepressants but here is my thought..At one point after my 2nd child I felt the same no it wasnt postpartum because I think you get that right after having a baby or in the 1st couple of months but anyways. My husband could do nothing right. I would wake up aggitated at him that i just wanted to kick him in the head and out of bed even before he even woke up to look or say anything that would set me off. I couldnt stand the way he smelt, chewed or breathed it would annoy me beyond beleif and then some days I was fine. I felt that i was doing everyhthing around the house and with the kids and how dare he how dare he not help and when he did it was all wrong (not my way). Then he got sick of fighting with me and me giving him nasty looks that he backed off and ignored me which made it worse..ok heres my point not saying that its you or your case but an antidepresseant worked for me, i stopped being annoyed, and he started coming around, again. So stop and think, are you sad but dont know it, do you cry at little things commercials, at your kids christmas plays, feel like going far far away (traveling) just to get away. Possibly drinking abit more then usual.
Then again I dont know all of your situation and it just might be that your marriage is on the rocks? Or maybe he is stressed out men have diffrent stresses then women but thats a whole diffrent topic and i have babbled on to much as it is.
I was on Lexipro for about a year and it really help just a suggestion.
Good luck.

I would have to say yes. LOL As bad as it sounds, with my first husband (and I work hard on that marriage for 7 years), he didn't think men should take care of the kids because they work and come home to eat and rest. When do I get my rest?! I hated him so very much that at times I would think, this is it, I am going to just leave him. I am already doing this on my own, might as well. But your husband doesn't have the patience yet to handle children and because he doesn't spend too much time with them that part of him doesn't develop. Really sit down and speak with him, let him know that your job is 24/7 and there is no break, lunch time, or vacation...its on going. If he doesn't see it then ask if you two can go to marriage counseling. It is not a bad idea trust me, it may even open his eyes to it...maybe, but if he is not up for it then start slowing down. Oops, couldn't wash that shirt, because I was taking care of the baby, oops couldn't cook because the kids were acting up....I did this for awhile and my ex hubby started helping out a little so I can do other things. LOL Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. If he still can't see if your way or starts yelling at you, then think about your options...because you are still young...just a thought. I am with my second husband now and we are having our second child, my fourth and last...he helps with all the kids and it is so relaxing and my stress goes down a lot. He works a 12 hour job and still helps me with cleaning, cooking, childcare and other things..because he understands that I have to run around all day just like his job. You need communication and understanding to make a relationship work. Good Luck!

take a deep breath. breathe in........breathe out......... now lets just say this. men are dumb. we love them. but boy are they dumb. what i dont understand is they say that we are the drama queen. but an hour with the kids and the are sqeeling like a pig in heat. thats how mine used to be. the more they spend with the kids the better the get. i promise. but take it slowely. dont go on vacation for a month, although i know that sounds tempting sometimes. you hubby sounds a little wet behind the ears, so you need to dry him off. and remeber to breathe.
L.

I understand where you are coming from. I am also a young stay at home mom with two kids, one girl one boy. My husband used to use the excuse that he didn't know how to handle girls, now we have a boy and he still doesn't help as much as I think he should. Sometimes I have to run errands at night because he has the car all day. He makes me take both kids with me while he stays at home and watches tv. He doesn't even clear the dinner table while I am gone, and yes I purposely leave the mess behind to see if he will clean it. I have tried talking to my husband and, of course, I get the whole drama queen and the woman's place speech as the other women have said. He needs to spend more fun time with the kids so that when he has to be alone with them it doesn't feel like such a chore. Hint that the girls wanted to play outside today but you didn't have time or find very specific but small things that he can do with one of the the girls so he gets to feel comfortable around them.Wow, that really sounds silly, doesn't it? But that's how men are in m husbands family. That's the way they were brought up and that is a hard habit to break. If you genuinely feel that hate is the right word than the other moms are right, counseling will probably help.