My girlfriend has been exploring the possiblity of going for therapy. I fully support her since I know her issues are pretty major and even her son's pediatrician suggested she talk to someone! (She broke down to him).
She always texts me major details of her issues and I again supported her going to therapy. She snapped back via txt (she doesn't do the phone) and said I should also go as well! Little does she know that I already do. I am kind of private about it and the only one who knows is my husband. I know it's not a big deal but I don't feel like being super public about it.
Nice that i can tell complete strangers here, though! LOL.
So have you told your friends if you're in therapy? Why or why not?
I have never gone to therapy, I would imagine most people who know me would be shocked to find that out.
I told most of my friends that I was in therapy. I think it depends on the situation & what you are comfortable with. I was dealing with my child's severe medical issues & all the stresses that go along with that. My friends were concerned about me & I know they felt better knowing I was getting professional support.
Had people around me ,not known the issues that were sending me to therapy, I probably wouldn't be so quick to share.
Hi ES,
I think that you keeping your own affairs private is fine. When I was regularly seeing a counselor, a couple of people I was close with knew at the time; ditto for marriage counseling. I am more likely to share about it now that I am not in that intense space any more. During the time I was in counseling, some of what we discussed during the sessions was fairly intense and I needed to keep things private so they could feel contained for me; now that I am not regularly going, I can't recommend it enough for people who are wanting to make positive changes in their lives and overcome issues from their past or issues with their family of origin which continue to trouble them. Having privacy allowed me to process a lot of stuff without other people putting their two cents in or talk me out of getting healthy. (and some people will do that. Those people are often stuck, from my experience!)
My good friends...yes. I never felt there was anything to hide. Everyone needs help now and then.
Some yes.
Some no.
Here is my entire take on therapy.
A GOOD counselor is that amazing friend, whose experience and education exactly lines up with what you need in your life, who helps you be more yourself with them than without them... That you just didn't bump into on the street 10 years ago.
Some of the WORST / hardest times in my life, I've needed therapy like I've needed to gain 500 pounds. PURELY because I just so happened to have the exactly right people in my life right when I needed them. (Thanks G!!!)
Other times, small or big, Ive needed that friend... And haven't had them. So I find a councillor / counselor. Paying doesn't bug me. If I HAD met them on the street 10 years earlier... I'd want them being paid well for their exceptional work!!!
IRL many people do know when I'm in counseling.
IRL even more dont.
I follow my gut.
Oftentimes when it would "seem" right to be an open book, I trust my gut and don't. (Like with a friend going into counseling, with poor boundaries). Other times when it would "seem" like a bad time to chime in (like when a group of people are knocking it ... It turns out to be a really good choice. There's no common denominator except my gut.
So I would counsel: follow yours!!! Keep it private if that's what feels right.
ONLY those who can KEEP a secret!
People discriminate against those of us who struggle with depresion and PTSD so I do not broadcast it. It can hurt a career and a reputation.
I share things with people who have similar backgrounds, and ones that are open to listen to them. If I think they probably don't care to know, or are mere acquaintances, I don't divulge much.
If they truly are my friends, they know pretty much everything about me. Therapy isn't taboo anymore. Many people go. I did when I was 18. For about two years. If someone I knew did, it wouldn't bother me or change the way I thought of them.
It's up to you whether you want to tell her or not. Sometimes I think it reassures someone else that you yourself went through something similar. It brings some common ground.
There are a couple of my friends who I feel close to know that I'm going to counseling. My other half doesn't even know that I'm in counseling (he lives in a different state but that's another story). That in itself was very hard for me to admit that I needed to go and talk to someone about what is going on in my life right now. Though I do have to say I'm proud that I'm going and I'm going to keep going.
I don't wear a sign, and I don't mention appointment times, but I don't mind sharing that my husband and I do tune-ups. I refer to the process as "tune-ups" because I don't necessarily want to let on when something is going on and we need to make an appointment.
Some of my friends know and some of them don't. I tell my BFF everything, obviously. With other friends, it's a matter of how close we are, and whether it naturally comes up in a conversation; like, I'm not going to say to everyone, "Oh by the way, did you know I'm in therapy?" but if I'm talking to someone and it seems relevant I might mention it.
I was in therapy a few years ago to deal with some things from childhood. My husband, my mom, my sister and one friend knew. I didn't want anyone else to know. I felt it was something to keep private.
I'm not now, but I have been.
I can imagine telling a close friend or two who I know would listen to me with love and be my cheering section.
But I didn't talk about it to anyone. I would have had to talk about other people besides myself, and I didn't want to do that.
I know my friends and family wish I would go!!
It depends... some of my friends know. if it comes up naturally I usually will say something or if they are struggling in ways I can relate to or have been helped by therapy then I tell them. It's not anything that I am embarrassed about, but also not something I feel that everyone needs to know.
Personally, I think everyone could benefit from therapy.
Some of my friends know, most don't. It comes up organically but I don't make it a point to bring it up and there are some people that I prefer don't know. I'm not ashamed of it, but since it's medical information it's something that's private and I only disclose when I'm comfortable.
I would tell my friends. I hang out with my friends every Friday so they are like my family and I really have nothing to hide. They would be very supportive in my decisions. If it meant getting my life on track or helping me through some hard times, they would be all for it.
I believe that friends are your support group. They are supposed to be there for you through good times and bad. They will lend an ear when your falling apart and to lift you back up on your feet.
Those that I have burdoned with the reason(s) that I was going to therepy were told otherwise no need. I was not ashamed but I also did not feel a mass mailing needed to go out.
*note pre facebook/twitter/myspace days were my days of therepy.
