JFF--I Gave Myself a Black Eye. Kind Of...

yeah other day, day from hell. getting out the stroller to put my 11 month old in, to go and pick up my 4 year old from preschool. had put on the break to keep it from rolling. SO I am getting going with 2 year old in hand, and i cant get it to move forward. I am mad, huffin puffin, just pushing the darn thing like its a lead balloon. 2 year old says, here mommy and pops the break off, thats when i realized that my shirt is tucked up under my massive chest, my 11 month post baby belly is hanging out, and I left my scrunch around my wrist. So I go to straighten myself out and I smell something? yep baby POOP on my jeans!!! WHAT how did that get there. Needless to say I took a nap with the kids that day.

HAHA AWW!! I've done the same thing.

If I don't make coffee the evening before, I'm notorious for starting the coffee pot... with nothing in it. Genius.

I've also changed the babies diaper, then gotten him redressed... without a new diaper. D'OH!!

One day last week I found myself about 3 miles from home and couldnt for the life of me, remember where I was going. Was it the grocery store or Walmart, or somewhere else??? Then it hit me.. I had gone out to turn the car around and back into the driveway to load some stuff to take to the mission... this is a bad sign.....lol

I have started putting all sorts of thngs in the refrige that do not belong in there.

The other night I put my tea mug in there, then went up to go pee, wash my hands and make up off (multi tasking you know!) I came back down to the kitchen and opened the microwave and was ANGRY at my family cuz my mug was GONE! I was raging at them..."where is my tea, who moved my tea, blah blah" (I am a crab*ss lately with this painful and frustrating neck injury and by the end of my workday, I want my hot tea and to relax..and in my mind they were jacking with that!!!)

My hubby said there was nothing in the nuker..the timer is obnoxious and he didn't hear it. So I open the fridge to get dinner stuff out to get it baking..and there is my mug. Hubby and teen daughter laughed like crazy people. I started to cry. Dumb tea!

Anyone ever pour oj in their cereal? so sad... especially when it's the last bit of cereal left.

I dropped my kids off at school, was walking back to my car and realized, my daughters backpack was slung over my shoulder, not my purse. There I was, strutting to my car in heels, slacks, and a Pink Tinkerbell Backpack.

I loved reading all of these! Mine is quite embarrassing.....

I went to re-new my license and I needed to take the eye exam. I have glasses but only need to use them to see things far away or when driving at night. I didn't think to put them on for the exam because like I said I don't rely on them daily... only on a "as needed" basis. Anyways, I looked into the eye exam thing-y and couldn't read any of the letters. I sat up and looked at the woman at the desk (you know those VERY friendly people who work at the Registry of Motor Vehicles? *insert sarcasm*). Becasue I had noticed that an Asian man was in line ahead of me I thought she had left the Asian eye exam up and thats why I could make out the letters. Ugh. So stupid me suggested this.... yes, as in I said outloud to the lady, "I think you left the chinese letters up". She looked at me like I had 10 heads (as she should have. I mean really. A chinese letter eye exam??? Seriously S.?) I quickly realized what I had just said and then quietly said, "Maybe I should get my glasses." I heard the lady say under her breathe "Yeah, maybe you should." I took that eye exam so quickly, signed my name on my receipt and walked so fastly out of that place!!!!!! To this day I blame being newly pregnant on that whole fiasco. And as embarrassing as it was I can still make myself laugh at what a dummy I was that day!!!

whenever anything other than toothpaste ends up on my toothbrush is a bad tasting-icky day :)

When my friend and I were about 12, we were playing baseball with a spatula and a large marshmellow.. in the house. Yeah I know... boys.
Anyway, my friend hit a 'homerun' to his little brother in the outfield (living room).. it hit him in the eye and gave him a black eye. His mom, to this day never believed our story.

LOL!!! How funny!!! (sorry!!)

i put the garlic salt in the fridge..I was looking all over for it and Greg says "mom - why is the garlic salt in the fridge?"!!!

Yesterday was wrestling sign-ups, and my son wants to give it a try... I had read the handout like 100 times, to get all the info... and I knew the sign-ups were at one of our district's junior high schools... so as I'm driving to sign-ups, we are about 1/2 mile from the 'high' school, and I realize that I drove to the high school, which is about 10 miles from our home, instead of the jr. high, which is like 2 miles from our home. So yeah, brain fart.

I often put the sugar in the fridge, but the other morning I kneeled down to get something out of the kitchen cupboard, felt a sudden sneeze and BAM! Hit my head on the top of the kitchen press.. Like those poorly made ninja flicks... UGH!! Ouch!

Then that same night, sneaking downstairs into the kitchen, everything is dark, middle of the night, to let the cat out.. I turn around and dash upstairs, but straight into the wall.. One more knock on the head! DANG!! I thought for a moment I broke my nose.. All I saw were stars... that hurt like hell.

I am constantly doing 3 things at once so I put stuff down wherever I happen to be. I do this all the time and it drives my husband crazy. Especially when I tell him where to find it. I will mentally retrace my steps and say, "Oh, that's right, the car keys are on top of the shelf in the bathroom." He just stares at me and goes, "WHY?! And WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT??!'

Makes him crazy.

I have given myself a black eye by prying a lid off a canister. That was pretty and awfully hard to explain. Recently I was digging something out of the fridge and as I whirled around to take out stock of what else I needed out of the fridge, I knocked my temple into the corner of the granite. Oh my living stars. My vision went black and I sort of fell to my knees. I just laid on the floor for a bit to regroup. Of course, here comes my darling husband. He stopped for a second, looked down and said, "Should I even ask?" Good man. He's been married to graceful me long enough to hold his tongue and laughter.

My Mil (bless her!) and I got into an argument over who was going to pay for the pizza one night. We were in the parking lot, and my husband had snuck in (under bathroom pretenses) to pay. She saw him through the window, got all in a huff, and stormed out of the car to the restaurant....and ran straight into the plate glass windows!!! You see, there was glass cooridor (sp) that separated the outside door and the inside door (to conserve heat in the winter). She was moving so fast that she actually BOUNCED OFF THE WINDOW, fell back a few steps, and landed on her butt! She knocked off her glasses (ouch!). She also left a HUGE FOREHEAD PRINT on the glass! The patrons in the restaurant heard nothing but a loud boom and all turned toward the entrance simutanously. Bwahahahahah!!! I sat in shock for about 0.2 seconds and then just busted up laughing so hard I peed myself! There was no way around it!

Then, to add insult to injury, she (as my husband could hardly stand up straight 'cause he was laughing so hard) paid for the pizza WHILE she bitched at the manager about KEEPING THE GLASS TOO CLEAN!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!

I can say that everytime I see that pizza place with the windows painted with bingo marker (after this incident, the manager always made sure there was SOMETHING on the windows), I laugh until I cry!

I used to be spectacular at leaving either my travel coffee mug or a full bottle of milk on the roof of the car after strapping the 2 babes into their car seats in the morning, backing out of the driveway I ALWAYS managed to run over whatever I had left up there.

More recently I've been known to hit the on switch instead of the timer switch when preparing the coffee pot the night before so I wake up in the morning to a cold & stale pot of coffee that was made the night before, sat for 4 hours, then automatically shut off instead of a fresh, hot pot. Ugh!

I've GOT to ask you this though..where did you find dark brown citrus eye shadow?? I'm intrigued!

Oh we had cosmetic damage today too.
I love my husband. Usually it's me that runs the van into poles.
This morning he decided to challenged our friend's Armada with his Prius. Armada won.
It was 6:30am, rainy, dark and the Armada was parked behind the Prius. He just plowed right into it. He didn't even see it, even with the backup camera.
Now both cars have big ol' smooshes.
His buddy is spending the week here.

I've started the rice cooker without adding water before and dropped a pair of scissors point down on my foot right after telling my daughter "the proper" way to walk with scissors. /doh

This morning I actually turned the wrong way to go to my son's school and had to pull a u-turn. He is 3. He was like "Mommy is so silly. Mommy doesn't know where my school is!". I asked him to keep it our little secret! :0 BTW where is that color from?

I needed the laughs this morning!!! Thanks for this post!! LOL