in an up and down motion very fast so that his whole body is shaking including his
head. I worry this can cause damage, especially to his brain. Please advise me. If
it is potentially damaging, I'd like to see that in writing to show my brother-in-law.
Meh.
I used to flip my kids upside down, throw them around on the bed, wrestle with them, have pillow fights....It's called having fun!
BUT...if the child is crying, upset, or passing out....that is another story.
If the child is having fun and laughing then you are probably overreacting. This isn't a new baby, this is a child who is 4 and should be plenty old enough to tell dad if he doesn't like what is happening.
How on earth would we know? Is he playing with him and you just think it is too rough so you are exaggerating or is he angry and actually abusing the child? Just based on the way you worded this you sound like a busybody.
Better yet, what does your sister think?
I would speak with your sister about your concerns and leave it at that. If you confront your brother in law things will probably not turn out well.
F.,
Welcome to mamapedia.
Is his son screaming in pain?
Has the dad dropped his son on his head?
LIFE IS DANGEROUS!! Get over it. You can't wrap the kid up in bubble wrap and protect him from every little thing!
My ex-husband used to toss our daughter up in the air - her head hit the ceiling once. He didn't do it again. He played "airplane" with her instead.
My ex-husband used to dangle her from her feet - she LOVED it - she would squeal in delight. If the child is NOT screaming in pain and saying STOP!! NO!!! then leave it be. Keep your nose out of their business.
There is not enough information to know if this is harmful or not.
At 4, your nephews brain and neck muscles are firmly in place. This is definitely not a case of shaken baby syndrome.
Well this is probably more of a question for a neurologist and quite hard to answer without observing it.
If you're talking shaken baby syndrome - it would have to be pretty violent and/or hit something, to hurt a 4 year old. It can be fatal for babies of course, because they don't have neck muscles to hold their head steady so their heads rotate around. That's what causes the brain damage, swelling, etc.
If it were me, and I had concerns, I'd talk to my sister first (if she's not concerned, not sure why you'd be), and/or my BIL.
But if he does it regularly and the child is fine, then I'm going to assume it's not violent enough to cause permanent damage.
Many things are "potentially damaging" - eating lots of sugar, listening to loud music. Being shaken upside down might be on that list too. But - like with eating sugar and listening to loud music - the boy might be enjoying it, and his father might be aware enough to only do it in a careful way.
Have you tried talking to your brother-in-law about this? Or talking to his son to see how his son feels?
F.,
This is one of those situations where you keep your nose to yourself. The kid is four YEARS old, not 4 months.
How many kids do you have? Do you keep them wrapped in bubble wrap so that nothing happens to them? Tyler and I have pillow fights with our kids. When they were younger? We would throw them in the air and catch them!! THE HORROR!!!
Do you really think your brother in law is going to give one thought to what a group of strangers believes? If you are that concerned? Talk with your sister and tell her your concerns. If she's not worried about it? YOU shouldn't be worried about it.
Any writing from this site (internet strangers) will not convince your BIL. If you record him and show it to the doctor, then that might be the person to knock some sense into the BIL (it might also get CPS involved).
Age 4 is pretty old and the child would be crying or asking to stop if it was painful. I personally would not like this, but he is a different type of parent than me.
Report it to the child's pediatrician, even if that means going around the parents. The doctor can't talk to you, but will take in the info you provide and use that going forward during appointments. No one will know that you called about it.
You can get better info from child development specialists which will carry more weight than what we moms put in writing. The American Academy of Pediatrics is one source, and you can go back through issues of Parenting magazines if you want. You could ask the pediatrician for other resources. And any good library will have resources for you - librarians are the most underutilized resource in the country!
Does he do this as "fun" or as "discipline"? You will find different sources to be usefully depending on his motivation. Here's one source and you can scroll way down to get info on corporal punishment: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/101/4/723
Does he do this in public? Learn about mandated reporters and what their obligations are to report incidents like this. That can be a powerful deterrent.
I suppose seeing it in writing from a pediatrician would be the best advice you could get and it would be a professional medical opinion as well.
Please talk to a doctor about this - or the boys mother should.
I have flipped my kids upside down. I don't see that as dangerous. If this child isn't laughing but screaming I would talk to your sister.
I'm curious about something and I hope you'll answer in the what happened section.
Is this done as play that seems too rough to you? Or is this done in anger as "punishment"?
