Seeking Moms Advice

That would worry me too. Whether its a big deal or not, its a big deal to YOU and she needs to respect that and stop doing that.

Camille G.

I would talk to her again to make sure she understands how much it worries you. The baby is only 8 1/2 months old and still does not have very strong neck muscles. It won't take much to do damage. Good luck!

We had the same problem. It is up to you to decide and looks like your husband already agrees with you. No rough play with him till hes a bit older. My son loves it too and we do play horsy on our leg with him. As long as its not jerking movements or jolts I wouldnt worrie too much about it. You can always call your pedi and ask them what is safe play. Like is horse riding on the knee ok? is swoshing them from side to side quickly but not sudden stops ok. I do take my son and hold him in front of me on the couch and let him crash into the fluffy coushions. He is one. He laughs and has fun and its not shaking his head. What it boils down too is.... You are the parents if you dont stand up for him who can. You are the one that stands up for what is safe and not. Tell her no with anything you are uncomfortable with and if she isnt doing what you asked then its time for a new sitter. Best of luck and I am sure your little one is fine and having fun.

Your baby will be fine. kids like to wrestle! you don't have to worry about shaken baby if you want you can crack a raw egg into a plastic container, put the top on and shake it. when the yolk breaks that is the force you would need to actually hurt and damage your baby!! but remember your babies brain is well cushioned. so no worries!!

Listen to your mother's intuition and ask her to stop.

Hi A.,
If it was fast and hard enough to worry you, then I think you did the right thing by telling her to stop.

I'm not sure I would listen to some of the folks that responded with something like "if he was hurt, you'd know"..."or if he was laughing, it must be fine". I'm not sure that Shaken Baby Syndrome causes a baby to act hurt, and yet there is still damage being done. I could be wrong here, but that's what I think I've heard.

If you'd like more information or to get a feel for how hard a baby would have to be shaken to result in Shaken Baby Syndrome, then I'll bet that your pediatrician would have a video to show you or you might find one on a reputable internet site, such as Web MD. Then you'd know for sure whether you were reacting appropriately to what your SIL is doing with your son (and you'd have something to show her, too, if it appears she is questioning your judgment).

Just some thoughts. I hope this helps!
Deb

If you asked her to stop... hopefully she will respect your wishes. If she twirls him gently holding his head that would be fine. But, you do have every right to be concerned. This is your child and you don't want to see him get hurt.

S..
http://www.ohsobella.com
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Hi A.,

I think honesty is the best policy, Just simply tell her how you feel, and that it concerns you and your husband and tell her there are cases where these things can happened AND it is not to be taken lightly. I don't know how old your sister-n-law is or if she has any children of her own, but I'm sure that it was done out of love and you feel the same way. Your kids, your guidelines, its as simple as that. If you have a concern and you feel that this might happen again only you would know. You know your sister-n-law better than any of us do. Go with your instinct. Be honest with yourself and with her.

HI A.,
the shaking has got to stop. There are many other ways to get your baby to laugh and have fun- not shaking-
good luck and blessings

If it were hurting him, trust me, he'd let you know. He was laughing, babies that old love to me turned upside down, and twirl around in your arms. Shaken babies are not having fun, and it is violent shaking, not the fun back and forth side to side. I have three boys ages 15,13, and 11 on top of that my best friend has a one year old. We have been playing with him like that since he was about the same age. He's perfectly fine and aaaaaaaaaall boy. Just wait 'til you little guy starts walking and looks like he's been in a fight and lost. My boys had bruises from head to toe. God makes babies resilient to much that would seriously hurt mommies, I would just keep an eye on him, but I'm sure he's fine. I remember what's it's like with the first, every little thing scares you to death, you sterilize everything they touch or might come in contact with, by number three you realize how perfect God's creation is and he puts in added safety features we may never understand. Have fun with your little man, and I know it's hard but try to relax a little.

Hi A.. Anytime you are uncomfortable with what someone is doing with or to your children, you absolutely need to speak up. Obviously, you don't think she would hurt your child intentionally or you wouldn't leave him with her. However, better safe than sorry (as long as you're not being totally overbearing). Afterall, neither of you would forgive yourselves if something did happen! Just say I know I'm probably being a little over protective but it really bothers me when you play with him that way, so I would really appreciate it if you didn't. I'm sure she will understand. Goodluck!

I would be worried also. Of course my daughter loved being spun, and swung. Purchase a swing for your SIL to use on one of her trees. She can also slowly spin him in a swing. Then when he gets older about 3 1/2 or 4 yr old, purchase an "Air Pogo" and a "Twizzler". They are the best outdoor toys ever. My daughter would spin so fast it was amazing.

Hi A.,
I took a class when I was training to be a CASA volunteer in Utah. I was called up and given a covered bowl of eggs and told to shake that bowl as hard as I thought it would take to give a child shaken baby syndrome. I shook it pretty roughly, but that wasn't enough. I had to shake really really hard (violently hard), before the instructor told me that was hard enough to injure a child in that way. Babies are not fragile little pieces of glass that can be easily broken. The human body is resilient. Babies that have shaken baby syndrome have been violently shaken by someone, not accidentally injured in play. If your child is having fun and giggling, he's absolutely fine. I understand your concern, but in this situation, it is needless. This is harmless play.

Rough play usually doesn't bother me. All my kids are fine and were swung around like crazy as babies. But, I would definitely let her know how you feel. Everything needs to be in balance. Some play is good, but too rough is bad. 9 months isn't a tiny baby that can't hold his head either. I don't know how rough she was shaking him around or for how long so you have to go with what you saw and how you feel about it.

One of my 8 month old's favorite games is to stand up while I hold her hands and we "wiggle" She just giggles and giggles. She loves it when I just hold her around her tummy and I do this too. It always seems a little rough to me but my daughter loves it so I can't resist. I've asked my hubby what he thinks of it for the same reasons but we think since she is so happy with it and she not crying out in pain she's not hurting. If your baby has good neck control and if you see your son whipping his own head back and forth to see things than I wouldn't worry about it. Does your sister-in-law have kids of her own? How did they turn out? And even if they didn't I would say relax a little. While they were squishy and soft at first they are now growing stronger so they can take the bumps that come with learning to crawl and walk. If your son is laughing and having fun he's probably not hurting. My daughter also loves to dangle upside down. She will flop over on my lap so her head is craned backwards and upside down. While I think her head is going to pop off she just picks herself up and laughs and does it again. Our kids are going to do a lot of things that are going to freak us out. I think we just have to get used to these "mini-heart attacks" each time we see it.

On the other hand, if your sis-in-law isn't listening to you about stopping something your not comfortable with then maybe you should tell her this and/or start finding other options.

Good luck!
Jen
http://www.mommysjoy.com

I wouldn't take him to her anymore. Protect your child.

You should be worried, it only takes a small amount for someone so young. Suggest dancing, going in circles or bouncing instead.