I've Been Bitten!

First thing, maybe you should go visit a friend with a newborn and be reminded of what it's like to have a new one at home!! Maybe it will make you change your mind real quick! :) haha

But....

I feel your pain. My DD is almost five and she's still an only child! That is about to change in the very near future as I was FINALLY able to convince my hubby, who was like yours, didn't understand the need for a sibling (and he HAS a sister!). Here is what I did, I played the "when we get older SHE, alone, is going to bare the burden of taking care of us, and God forbid if we die at the same time, she is going to be ALL ALONE in the world". If you have seen an in-law or relative having to take care of an aging parent alone, it's heart-breaking. My MIL is an only child and now she has to take care of her mom who has Alzheimers. She has even said she SO wished she had a sibling while growing up, and now when it's her all alone caring for her mom. I also played the "there is no closer <blood wise> relative than a sibling" which is true. God forbid if your child ever came down with a blood disorder, having a blood sibling could save that child's life, as they have the closest matching DNA.
Having a sibling gives the child a person who understands COMPLETELY what they are going through when they are having a rough time, ie, disagreements with the parental units! Use your childhood experiences to show the bond you had with your siblings and how no friend could EVER relate completely.

One major thing I did was work out the logistics, which was a big concern for him. How are we going to afford it, what center is the child going to go to (we both work full-time), etc etc.... If you wait to be able to afford to have kids, you will NEVER have them. He understood that and is finally on board to start trying. He knows how bad I want another child and with some comprimise, and strategic arguing, he's NOW wanting one too!

I wouldn't sneak the IUD out, you will always feel some kind of guilt for that, and I don't think you want to feel that way forever....especially if he EVER suspects anything. I think if you really sit him down, with some great "pros" for adding to your family and really get it across to him how badly you want this, maybe he will concede. If he doesn't, maybe you should take a closer look at your marriage. (Maybe if he wasn't an only child, he wouldn't be such a spoiled brat!!haha) I know women who feel resentment for their hubbys because he didn't want more children, and who wants to live the rest of their lives resenting someone whom they love deeply?? If it doesn't work, my MIL has kittens she's trying to find homes for, maybe that will curb the baby bug! That, or a puppy! :) Good luck!!

Yep, it sounds like he has the only child syndrome!!!
I wouldn't lie to him, I would just tell him, "I am getting my IUD taken out. If you want to refrain from having future children, you need to find another form of birth control that doesn't involve me." It may sound dramatic, but he'll get the point. If he is the one that wants the birth control, let him figure out how to stop from getting you pregnant! If he schedules an appointment for a vasectomy, then you know he is serious about stopping at one. At that point I would pray, pray pray!!!

That is a hard one. I would not do it by oops as he may recent you later. Men are weird. Why would there not be enough love for all? Children need to learn to get along with other children and I would expose your child as much as possible. G. W

A.,
I don't really have any advise for you, just wanted to say...girl I am in the SAME boat. Haylee just turned 4 in May, which means less then a year left on my IUD, and all I see is baby.....everywhere, all the time. And it is drving me CRAZY!!! Josh has about the same feelings, except rather than his feelings coming from being an only child it is because he has two other children, whom I love dearly!!! But...it's MY turn again. What started as a question filled with hope and anticipation is becoming a weekly argument, and my thoughts have been in line with yours..."I'll just have this thing taken out and not say a word about it...." Guess he knew things were getting serious because he asked me if I was going to try and pull the wool over his eyes on it!! Hope it all pans out, just remind him that he can't make this final decesion.

All I know is that once I decided I wanted to have a baby, that was all I could think about.

I think your husband's concern about "he doesnt think it's fair to our daughter for him to share his love with another child" is understood, but he doesn't understand the added joy and love that grows when a family grows. Your little girl would probably LOVE a playmate and a baby around the house, a friend she can share dating tips on and college advice and all those wonderful things they have like nieces and nephews. It isn't just about having a baby... it's a full life to experiance. Plus, more wonderful grandchildren for you!

That would be like a man and woman saying they don't want any children because they don't want to share the love, in my experiance, it has only increased our love for each other. I have one child, and am pregnant with my 2nd, and one of my greatest thoughts is the expression on my son's face when we bring the baby home and how he is just going to love having a little brother to be buddies with.

Perhaps going to talking to a professional together who can truly explain to him the joys of siblings so he can understand where you are coming from.

I know if it were me, and my husband refused me the right to become pregnant again and have the joy of bringing more children into my family, I would probably feel like he had robbed me of one of my deepest desires and I would always feel resentment towards him for it.

You have to remember, this isn't his decision... it's one you have to make together, and he should consider your feelings and wants just like you are considering his.

Do not remove your IUD. Marriages have been ruined over less. I would be concerned about his remark about sharing his love with another child though. This remark sounds kind of selfish. I could understand if you were talking about having several kids, but we are talking about only two if you have another. Love can stretch a long way. You also mention that you have only been married for 4 years and your daughter is almost 4. I am not judging, so please don't take it that way, but from this I would assume you were pregnant when you got married, which means that you and your husband did not have much of a chance to be just a married couple. Since your daughter is getting to the age that she is more independent, he may be liking the fact that you are not tied down to a demanding infant. I really couldn't blame him for that. I realize that you want your child to have a sibling to play and share with, but having a child your husband is not ready for, could cause long term resentment and strife between you and your husband. My advice is to pray about it. God can change his heart or it might be yours that has too. Just be willing. Just remember, if you never have another child, you have been blessed with one daughter and a good husband.