Is My MIL a Danger to My Infant?

I have fallen asleep holding my infant, but I am up with him all night and exhausted all day!

But if my mil or anyone else who was just watching him for a couple hours alone fell asleep, I wouldn't like it. My fil falls asleep while holding my baby too, but we are usually right there... babies are like little relaxing heaters, that makes people who love them all relaxed and cozy.

But, it would be easy for the baby to accidentally be dropped or roll on the floor, perhaps suffocated, or choked if it is during a feeding. She would feel terrible if that happened too, I am sure.

I wouldn't comfront her until it came up. If she says she would like to babysit, I would just say, "well, I know how tiring it can be, and I know you get tired and have fallen asleep holding him, so I would prefer only him be watched by someone who will remain alert and attentive the entire time."

But make your husband say it, of course. It will be awkward (I have done WAY worse), but everyone will get over it.

On another note, my mil has pretty bad health problems, so I always gauge her level of pain and tolerance to see if she will be fitting that day to watch him. But she will also tell us if she is able to or not at a particular time. So, if you can open up that communication with her, maybe she will open up about her sleeping issue as well, as that could be a health problem. Maybe you voicing your concern over it in a loving way, may help her decide to take action.

I don't know if confrontation is necessary. I would just not ever leave my child alone with her. I have an issue with my mother where I will never leave my child alone with her until Elizabeth can tell me what is going on and knows right from wrong. I have not said this directly to my mother because I don't need the drama.

You can always find an excuse not to leave a child with someone. You can't always overcome spoken words.

GL!

I agree with you that this is a danger to the baby. You just can't afford to take a nap while watching a child, especially an infant! I also agree that it is your husband's job to take care of the problem. I've always been taught that the best way to handle things is to allow each spouse deal with the conflicts with their own parents. That being said, if he doesn't feel inclined to do so, I would still mention it to her. You could very politely say that it worries you that she falls asleep while holdimg the baby... or, you could take the baby next time you see her doze. Maybe she will wake up when you do, and she will get the idea that she really shouldn't be holding an infant while sleeping. Sticky situation, I know! You both share the same goal- to keep baby safe and loved- so you should be fine :-).

I agree with Jodi D.

Leave your child with someone else or take them with you.

I never had a relative around when mine were little, so I took my kids with me everywhere. And I had three kids, all 1 year apart so it was amazingly difficult.

It's not so much your MIL's responsibility to be a good sitter, but more your responsibility to choose a good sitter and if she's not then you should not ask her. The burden is on you, because you need a sitter. Not the other way around.

Now if she's asking you to leave the baby alone with her, that's another thing entirely. Then you still shouldn't leave your baby with your MIL. Instead set up times for you all to visit, but don't leave.

If you need a sitter to go out with your hubby, hire one that you can tell what to do or not to do.

Hello Michelle,

I know I fell asleep w/ my babies once or twice...it scared me silly! anyways, definitely stay around when she's holding your baby. now to the issue at hand.... has anyone addressed the fact that the minute she stops moving she falls asleep. does she drive? has she been to the doctor? is she not sleeping well at night? sleep apnea? maybe if it's approached from "her health" point of view might help her figure out why she's falling asleep. Good luck! ~C.~