My husband's grandfather owned a ring and he wore it proudly for most of his life. It had a basic gold band but his pride and joy was the diamond in it, it was gigantic and he spent $30,000 on it. When he passed on he wanted it passed to his eldest son, and then his eldest, and so on forever.
The trouble is, his eldest son is my husband's father and he knew the meaning of the ring but hasn't always been the most responsible person. So, he lost the diamond in a poker bet and had it replaced with glass (not even CZ, just glass). He wore it for 10 years or so total, but then went through a phase where he was giving everything away and acting like he was dying, he insisted he pass the heirlooms on and did so (even though he is fine, he's not even 60 yet).
So my husband inherited this ring, it's huge and he probably wouldn't have worn it even if it didn't have a chunk of cloudy, scratched up glass in it, but my question is - it is still an heirloom if the one piece of it that the original man was so proud of (and why he wanted to pass it down) has been removed? It's not like we're going to sell it or anything, it's not worth anything even if we were inclined to (if it had any value my husband's father would have pawned it already), but I was randomly thinking about it and wondering, "Are we supposed to pass it down to our son, even though it's worthless and quite frankly, sort of a shameful reminder of my husband's father's reckless decisions?"
It just seems weird to me to think that one day my son might get a ring that once belonged to a man he never knew and that we're going to have to either lie by omission, or explain to him WHY the ring used to be special and how it came to be just a chunk of metal and glass (we will never be able to afford to replace that diamond, and even if we could it wouldn't be THE diamond that my husband's grandfather was so proud of).
So, is it still an heirloom? The man wore the ring every day and wanted it to be an heirloom, but I'm POSITIVE that he would be completely and utterly ashamed that his eldest son lost his prized possession in a poker bet.
I am sorry to read this post, honestly. I agree that it may not be the same heirloom as was originally intended, but it certainly still has sentimental value and now has, like others have mentioned, a moral to the story.
A perfect heirloom. The son who passes it down in each generation can tell HIS son the cautionary tale of "why we never gamble because if this old man hadn't lost a bet, you'd have a rock worth gobs of cash."
Be sure to wait until the recipient is old enough to get the impact of losing that diamond in a bet.
Do not lie about it. It is now family lore. We have lots of that in our family.
Just another story to prove, we are nuts on this side of the tree..
Not so much an heirloom as a physical cautionary tale.
I think it's an heirloom in a humorous way.
I think you should pass it on to your son, and tell him, "This heirloom is a shameful reminder of your grandpa's reckless decisions." (That's a hilarious quote, by the way.)
No, "stuff" doesn't need to be passed on forever, no matter what the original owner thought of it's value. I think you should pass this ring on to your son, with a laugh and a life lesson. :)
Funny story. And don't replace the stone -- the ring sounds hideously gaudy.
Nope...not an heirloom. Yep, old man is rolling in his grave!
i'm not sure why the terminology matters. but i'm not sure i'd throw around the word "heirloom". souvenir, artifact- family "treasure" (said with a knowing smile)? lol.
it's still a really cool piece of history that has a great story behind it. it's nice to empathize with your husband's grandfather, but since your kids aren't going to have known him, it just translates to 'that old ring dad's grandpa gave him'.
the dollar value just doesn't matter. as you said you wouldn't sell it anyway - so it becomes part of your kids' heritage. pretty cool if you ask me!
of course you hand it down to your son - when he is old enough to be told the story and learn the valuable lesson it represents. it's sure not worth agonizing over.
as i read through the other responses i guess i realize that my perspective is from someone from a family without lots of valuable heirlooms. i treasure a coffee cup my grandmother gave me much more than i would a giant diamond i could never sell - and then when i say "could never sell" - is that out of guilt or out of sentiment? i mean it boils down to much the same thing, right? it's the history and the emotional attachment that matters. the dollar value ends up being worthless. or if you do use the dollar value, you're the shame of the family. lol. ironic huh?
I am so sorry. There is no right answer but I am starting to realize that I don't have to keep everything, especially if it come with negative memories.
Sell it for the gold.
Yeah, not an heirloom in my eyes.
Yes it is still an heirloom. If I were the one it was passed down to I would buy a imitation diamond as close to the original diamond as I could find and afford.
The ring has an interesting story to tell as the diamond was lost in a poker game and replaced by the man's grandson or great grandson.
I would be very happy if I could have my great grandfather's ring.
Good luck to you and yours.
eh. i suppose to some degree.
maybe in a 'look at our wacky family' sense.
heirlooms ARE better with a good story!
but i wouldn't be particularly attached to this one.
khairete
S.
If this is a 14 kt gold band it may still be worth something, so don't write it off as worthless. Certainly not $30K but perhaps $1,000 to $2,000 depending on it's weight.
Wow, what a terrible thing. I'm so sorry for your husband.
I have to admit that I would NOT pass it down to your son. I'd just put it away with a note in an envelope and then let what happens, happen, after you two are gone.
I wouldn't call it an heirloom anymore, since what the Grandfather wanted passed down, the diamond, has been sold. I would keep it and continue to pass it down through the generations as an example of how bad choices in life can permanently effect whole families.
yes! of course it is. it belonged to your sons great grandfather. The money value of an item doesn't make it an heirloom ,the story behind it does.
