My son is 3 and started going to a Monstessori in may. Initially there was one older boy(5 years) he played with a lot. And then , there was a new boy (lets call him Sam)who joined his class and who is the same age as my son. They hit it off very well and are best buddies now. My son LOVES playing with him. We were out on a vacation for a week and the moment he enters the house he told me he wants to go to school tomorrow and play with Sam. His teachers have also mentioned about these two and how good friends they have become. And I got to spend time with that boy during a field trip , and he is very sweet. He loves playing with my son too.
So my concern is - Is it ok for my son to play with just this boy at school. He only attends part time , so it's not like he is spending the whole week with him. He does mentions other kids in school and refers to them as friends too but I have heard comments from him such as 'girls play with girls and boys play with boys, So I only play with boys' , 'I will play only with Sam today, nobody else' , ' If I don't go to school who will play with Sam?'.
I am ok with his friendship with this little boy, I really am. But I am not sure why my son doesn't want to play with other kids at all. I ask about other kids and he only talks about Sam and mentions a few others. Is this normal for 3 year olds? Today he was telling me that if he plays with other friends, his friend Sam calls out for him 'friend ..friend' just like a cartoon character he watches on TV. So I don't know if it's actually true and Sam really does that or my son is just making up stories. I try not to question too much about it, I just laugh and say you have to play with all your friends not only Sam. And my son is only 3 , so still very young to have a talk. He doesn't understand much yet.
My son is my one and only , so I wanted to check with you moms is this something I need to talk to his teachers or just let it be.At this age, will the other kids hate my son for not playing with them at all. I have seen some kids come up to him to play and he doesn't show any interest at all. I wish he played with everyone like he usually does at playdates. He is very social and fun loving but I don't know how he is at school with his friends as I am not there. I know kids change as they grow. I love the fact that he has a best buddy now , that makes me happy. But the fact that he wants to play with only Sam makes me wonder if it is ok or not.
What do you think moms? I really don't want to bring it up with his teachers unless it has to be and if it will help my son in anyway. No rude comments please , I am asking this since my son is very young and maybe he needs mommy's/teachers help and guidance in making new friendships. I am not very sure about that, so I need guidance from you moms. Thanks moms!
Thanks moms. Good to hear it's normal.
This is so normal and completely age appropriate. As long as he is making friends and getting along with other classmates, I don't think you have a thing to worry about.
It's OK, totally.
It's perfectly fine for him to have one person who is his favorite to play with. When I was in school, my best friend and I ate lunch together. If she was absent, I ate alone. I COULD have eaten with someone else, I just didn't want to.
I would not deprive him of his best friend. Do you have a best friend? Do you want to hang with that person more than others? I wouldn't overthink it. If he had NO friends and Sam was a bully, then I'd worry. Occasionally invite other kids over if your son wants to play with another child, encourage him to play with kids at the park, but IMO, this is very normal for a young child.
Fine. Totally usual. Saw it happen loads of times at my preschool and other programs I've worked in.
Let me just say this: check in when your son is about six months away from moving into K or so, maybe the preceding January of that year, and see if this is still happening. The teachers will tell you if your son needs more encouragement in playing with other kids. I say this as the mom of a late bloomer--he wasn't interested in playing with other kids until he was four or so, and then, it was 'one best buddy' kind of stuff. The reason I suggest checking in with the teachers early is that I know my son carried exactly what you describe with him into K, where the new environment, classmates and teacher made him bond pretty tightly and quickly to one kid. That child turned out to be emotionally volatile and it took a few months for my son to learn that there *were* other kids to play with and that he *could* play with them too. Depending on only one playmate can be a 'bad habit' for some kids... looking back now, I might have asked the preschool teachers to have my son split off to do an activity now and then with other kids instead of just his one 'preschool buddy'.
So, okay for now, and if you are worried, check in with teachers when he's 4.5 or early five if you are concerned about this happening in K. But believe me, sometimes things just happen and you guide them through it, huh?
Yes, it's normal and fine. It is also more common for boys to have fewer friends, or one main friend.
Plus, he's only 3.
Don't worry about it.
p.s. You can't force your children to be friends with people, any more than someone could force you to be friends with someone you didn't particularly want to be friends with. So there's nothing your son's teachers could do anyway.
My son who is just turning four was the same way. There was one girl who was his best friend until she moved to another daycare. Then there was one boy that was his best friend unless he was gone for the day. If his best friend was gone he would pick someone else to be his best friend for the day. Now, planning his 4th birthday party I had to invite 11 kids because he didn't want to leave out any of his friends from preschool! My daughter was the same way when she was 3. It is developmentally appropriate for kids that age to have just one friend at a time. They are just moving out of the parallel play stage and haven't developed the social skills yet to juggle multiple friends yet. I wouldn't worry about it.
It's fine, as long as there is nothing about Sam that makes you think he'd be a bad person for your son to spend time with.
It's great that your son has the social ability to form such a close friendship.
Let him be. How lucky he is to have a best friend.
he's fine.
khairete
S.
At 3 years old, kids often don't understand (and it's totally normal developmentally) that they can have more than one friend. They do tend to latch on to one "friend" (and you're lucky - with both of my girls, they went through a lot of "so-and-so isn't my FRIEND anymore!" because of course, in their minds there can be only one friend...). Anyway, he will eventually realize that he can have more than one friend. But if this other boy is nice and fun and enjoys being your son's friend, just let them be.
My 3 year old daughter goes to preschool part time and she only wants to play with her best friend Ian each time she is there. I think it's normal. There are times when Ian is not there or busy with another child and she will play by herself or with some of the other children. If you want to facilitate your son making other friends, why not invite over one of the other children for a playdate? Or meet at a playground? But I don't think it is a problem that he has a best buddy.
