Is It Normal 3 Year Old Behavior?

Seems kind of normal, kind of abnormal... What type of discipline do you use? What rewards? What does he normally eat? Does he interact a lot with other children?

First of all a 3 year old our in public should be holding your hand or only be about 3 steps away from you.

He should know not to pinch anyone. It is like hitting. Do you allow him to hit you? Is he allowed to pinch you? At home what would you do with him if he did this?

I am glad you left. Now remind him about behaviors and expectations.While we were putting him in the car, I would have told him why you were leaving. "I sure am disappointed we did not get to stay at the Zoo. But you hurt that lady so we had to leave."
Later talk about "hurting people is not nice."

Inside a store or in a place with delicate things.. "We look with our eyes. Not with our hands."

When in a building...."Inside voices." "Bring your sound down."

If outside and too much screaming, you can say, "Your voice is too loud, you are hurting our ears."

"Unless a part of your body is falling off, you do not need to scream."

"I can hear you with half of that sound." "Nobody like to play with a screamer."

When in a building or a home. "We do not run inside." "We do not jump inside."

When in a parking lot in a store, in a busy location..."You must hold my hand at all times."

In a store that is not as crowded.. "Your choice, hold my hand or keep your hand on the basket."

"In parking lots, we always hold hands." "When crossing a street, we always hold hands."

If you feel you can keep a good eye on him.. "While here at the Zoo, you may hold my hands or stay 3 steps from me."

Remind your husband to also use these same instructions.
When your son does not follow your directions.. Leave.. Pick him and carry him if you have to and let him know exactly why you are leaving.

I have a 4 year old son who has sounds similar to your son. I feel we have come a long way from when he was 3 but it is still a lot of work. He has a difficult time controlling his emotions. I have to always give him lots of warnings and lots of preparation for whatever we will be doing that day. Especially if we are out in public with a lot of people. It helps us to talk through situations that will likely happen and the consequences that will follow any unacceptable behavior. This usually works pretty well for him. The key for my son's good behavior is plenty of sleep. He is a completely different child if he didn't get the sleep he needs. Sometimes we just have to miss out on things. I have found, Raising a Spirited Child and Positive Discipline are both helpful books. It helps you understand how to redirect all of that energy positively.

I'm curious about why the Dr recommended the testing? Usually they err on the side of caution when recommending these kinds of evaluations, but also suggest them if they feel something is not quite right.

It's hard to say if it's "normal" or not. Lots of kids go through little phases like this when they are learning boundaries and impulse control. Is he in a preschool environment? If he is, the kids that he is playing with could have something to do with his behavior. If he's not, the overstimulation of being around other kids could make him "hyper" and make you feel as though he's the worst behaved.

As far as the pinching thing goes, he may have been just trying to make a connection with that woman. Sometimes kids see someone they like and they want to play, but instead of understanding that the proper way to connect or engage with someone is to tap them on the should or say hello, they go up behind them and slap them on the back or, like your son did, pinch. Was he agitated or frustrated when he did it or was he playful and happy? Was he upset by her response?

Sometimes we as parents don't realize that we "create' this behavior by the way that we play with our kids. I had a friend who used to "play" with her son by "play pinching or play punching" and she'd say " I peench you" or "I punch you" in this silly voice. Pretty soon her son was hitting her and laughing or pinching her hard and laughing when she cried out. It sounds really obvious when I explain it, but she never put it together until I reminded her about the play.

It's an important time to teach him strong boundaries and be consistent with him. And to realize that kids don't learn this overnight. Sometimes it's patient teaching of the same lesson before they really understand or can make it a habit of behavior, and sometimes it's a matter of growing out of it a bit. When he does things that are not appropriate be sure to model behavior that *is* appropriate instead of just scolding him. Give him words to use that are appropriate.

Hope this helps in some way!

I'd recommend the book 123 Magic. Read it cover to cover and you will know what to do.

He obviously has a lot of energy like many 3 year olds, and while I agree he didn't want to hurt the woman, he KNEW what he was doing and made the decision (albeit impulsive) to do it. EVEN if it is a phase there needs to be discipline to show him it's unacceptable, and I'm not talking a simple 3-minute time-out. Reason being, it's not nice or kind to do this to anyone, (how would you or your husband like it?) but if he did this sort of thing to someone with a disability or fragility he could seriously hurt them. (I have fibromyalgia, am always in pain of some sort, not always stable on my feet because of it, and if I was crouching down and was pinched on my back I would more than likely topple over and possibly sustain an injury.) Bottom line, his behavior is not cool.

Also, aside from too much sugar in his diet watch foods that have lots of natural sugars in them (fruits) or foods that turn to sugar like starches (rice, potatoes, pasta.) Make sure he has plenty of opportunities to run and jump throughout the day, and a relaxation time before bed (no TV after dinner, a warm bath, low lighting, stories and quiet,) so he can get sufficient rest, being overtired can contribute to such behaviors. You should also discuss with his pediatrician food or chemical allergies, which can also add to this type of behavior. Do follow up on screening for delays, but know the behaviors are still unacceptable and do your son a favor by instituting discipline and behavior modification✿

A three year old understands that pinching hurts, and ought to understand that you don't touch strangers, that you don't pink, etc. The only way he didn't "understand" what he was doing is if he's autistic...which it doesn't really sound like. You'd know.

Sounds more like an issue of boundaries, which need to be seriously taught. I am currently struggling to teach my 15 month old these same boundaries (she likes to hit, kick, pinch, etc...but has a six year old sister who has NEVER done any of these things, EVER) and I certainly want it to stop soon. I know how you feel, and I guess I don't have any helpful suggestion on HOW...check out some behavior modification books, and try a method. Good luck. :)

by watching the sugar are you allowing fruit juice. they are as bad as soda. are you allowing a lot of starch? are you allowing fruit? sugar hides so he may be getting to much. and you don't even know it. get ppcd to reevalute him. another thing to check him for is allergies. that is the only advice I have

I went through the same thing with my oldest. For him, it wasn't the sugar but artificial dyes. We've eliminated those with great succes. If he gets any, it's a very quick reaction and we know. Good luck!

At 3 years old they are just starting to really be aware of the world around them. My 3yo bit her brother's finger the other day, out of the blue, and he wasn't provoking her at all. When my son was 3 he did some of the same things. It is like they get an idea in their heads and need to test it out right away, but because they have so little experience with the world they don't know they can hurt other people. So treat all things as a learning experience. If he hurts someone make sure he knows that it hurt them and make him apologize. He may not understand right away, but it will be you teaching him proper behavior for later.
And with my son, I always despaired -- at play groups he was always more active, always more rough, never sat and played quietly. So we taught him to be gentle, and kind. Those lessons stuck well, because now I have to get him to stick up for himself more and not let other kids push him around. As long as you are consistent with teaching him and taking every teaching moment in stride, then you are doing what you can. If he doesn't start to show behavior changes after several weeks of consistency, then you may need more help and have him evaluated again.
Good luck -- parenting a high-energy child takes a high-energy parent.