So I have been in a relationship for over a year and everything about it is wonderful. We have had a very active sex life until recently. We are very much in love but only have sex once every couple of weeks. Which at this point isn't working for me. I am very much attracted to him and interested but I am really bad at initiating sex. Can anyone give me any pointers? I plan on mentioning to him how I feel and letting him in on what I need from this relationship and hopefully with that being said things will improve. I appreciate any advice!!
Perhaps it's just that he doesn't want to force himself on you and really does need you to show him you are interested. Lingerie is definitely good, a little strip tease, perhaps slide into the shower by him, get him to lay down in bed and undress him.
I'm horrible at initiating too. I've been with my husband for 8 years and sometimes, especially during nasty weather times like we're having in Texas, things just get bland. I've learned that I am still shy in the "sexy' department, but I just have to suck it up and start kissing him and let him know I'm ready. That's all it takes. :) Guys are easy.
Explain to him that you've noticed that you started having sex less. Ask him if that is okay with him - does he want it more but maybe you guys get too caught up in other things? Maybe he's having a disfuction of some kind and instead of telling you, he'd rather just be intimate every few weeks. Tell him you want to continue doing what you used to do. This may be easier explained in a letter incase you are embarrased to do it in person.
As far as initiating sex, a sexy teddy or body massage or something like that is a sure fire way to get things started!!!!
Guys don't take subtle. Give him a call in the middle of the day and simply say... "Hey there sexy... I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you, and I cant wait to get you home tonight!". You can be as descriptive as you want, but either way he'll come in the door ready and willing!
T. C
This is so tough on a relationship. Believe me, I know! I am 37 and my husband is 39. (married for 1 1/2 years) He would be content never having sex but I know he adores me. He just has a very low libido and it stinks... I have done lots of reading aon this and the hardest part is not taking it personally. While the people who give advice about you wearing sexy lingerie, initiate sex, etc mean well...they may not "get it". We have a marvelous relationship. We truly enjoy each others company, he makes me laugh every day, we have beautiful children and are healthy. The only thing we argue about is our sex life. I want it, he doesn't. We have talked about it, cried about it, fought about. Do some research. Remember the OTHER ways he makes you feel beautiful and loved. And know that there is NOTHING wrong with you. (Easier said than done) You are not alone.
