Inspirational Single Mom Book's/advise

Updated on November 09, 2009
A.C. asks from Westminster, CO
6 answers

I recently split up with my Daughters father and I am personally having a hard time dealing with being by "My-self" and overwhelmed with thinking about dating, and wonder if I will ever find anyone!!! I want to make the holidays the best I can so am anxious to having some help. Any good advice, groups, or books that have helped you get through this hard time.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I have been divorced for a year and a half. I think about dating but then I think about the fact that I don't feel like taking on a fourth child right now. We can all sit back and think about how terrible that sounds but more often than not that is the way it is. I would suggest a book by Dr. Phil about learning how to love yourself. It is not fun to be alone especially over the holidays, but the wrong person can ruin it for everyone. Your little girl needs lots of attention right now and you need to be able to give it to her. Think of all the fun things you can do and the new avenues that you can explore together. Show her that you are strong and can be independent.

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J.R.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I am part of a great moms group in the Broomfield area. If you'd like to send me an email I'd be happy yo share all the information with you on our group and if you ever want to get out with your daughter and have a play date I'd be more than happy to meet you somewhere. My daughter is 15mths old and just loves to be around babies. Let me know if you need to get out or just talk.

Jess

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H.J.

answers from Pocatello on

A.- Try Once Bitten: A Journey Through Love and Life by HR J. available online Barnes and Noble, Amazon,or iuniverse
Good Luck to you-

T.S.

answers from Denver on

"The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl Richardson is a must have for every woman especially if you are in a major transition in your life. I have found that self-care: boundaries, saying no, taking time for self, and focusing on healing your past, are the most essential things you can do in times of crisis. There are tons of great books out there that cover all of those subjects and I recommend you go to a library or book store and browse through to find the ones that support you best.

The most important thing I have learned since my divorce is taking 100% responsibility. I believe that we create our own reality out of our belief systems (both conscious and unsconcious). I let go of blaming anyone or anything else, turned inward to explore what I was really believing about myself and the world, and started to question those beliefs. There has been tremendous freedom for me in letting go of blame and embracing awareness.

As for being single. I learned to be okay with being alone. I found that my obsessing about finding someone new always showed up when I was feeling needy and the viscious voice in my head was telling me ugly stuff about myself. I have chosen to become aware of what that voice has been saying without getting hooked in. I have also chosen to heal myself before jumping into a new relationship. I do not want to repeat old patterns. Time has become my friend. When I feel needy I turn to self-care and resource myself rather than dwelling on finding someone else to make me feel better. A couple of good books for looking at dating are "Conscious Dating" by David Steele and "Conscious Loving" by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.

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K.P.

answers from Denver on

Wow. If It makes you feel any better, I am dealing with the same issue. I have a daughter born in June 2009 and my ex cheated on me so I have been alone since almost a year now and it is so hard seeing all these couples happy together. Ilove my daughter tons, but it is hard to find anyone when you are either at work or home with her...and I have no family around here to help. I totally feel for you and just know you are not alone. I'm not sure what helps but if you find out, let me know...

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K.D.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My 3 year old son and his father are seperated as well, and I would not even bring the thought of dating in. I dated someone not too long after we had seperated and I was nowhere near ready. Take some time to get used to just you and your baby girl. Get routines down, spend lots of time with your little one and get comfortable in your new life. Make sure to find time to be by yourself as well. Get to know yourself as a mom, and then you can work back into dating. I have decided that I wont date until my son is a lot older. He already has to share attention between me and his dad, I don't want him to have to share me with anyone else. Good luck A.. And take your time!

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