Inlaws

"Officially" plan your daughter's party for a few weeks after your baby is born, send them invites, etc. Tell them you are planning something AFTER your daughter's actual bday because you're not going to be feeling up to it during her actual birthday. I am 39 weeks pregnant right now and know exactly what you will be feeling. I agree with the other response, though, that you need to just be honest about the situation. GOOD LUCK!

Yes, be honest about your situation. IMO-- since they are your in-laws I feel it is your husbands responsability. That is how we have worked it in our relationship, and it has always worked out fine! The news will be better recieved from him, and I think they will understand. Have him tell them that they will get to see the new baby and this is when your daughter will "need" them most. Grandparents like to feel needed:)

Let us know how it goes!

GL:)

You worded that so nicely here and I feel you could also share the same with your in laws. Perhaps tell them they are always more than welcome, but the timing is really difficult and perhaps it would be possible to do an overnighter or pospone the trip (exactly how you worded). You can find their reasons and share how you're feeling. It's awesome they want to be involved and it sounds as though you are close/comfortable with them. I'd just say you aren't planning anything 'big' for her birthday and recommend waiting. You could have your hubby do this - not that you aren't capable, but it's his family. But my MIL has commented to me about things "you can tell me, I'm okay with that...you don't have to have him" - on the times he has told them things, it's not been that I'm uncomfortable doing it, but I'm busy with other things and figure it's just as easy (or easier!) for him to do it as it is for me. It just shows me sometimes people perceive reasons without really understanding. So, use your best judgement. Another option - plan a weekender of your own!! :)

Truthfully I am not sure I agree with the other moms entirely. I think you should let your in-laws come and visit. What if you go early and have the baby, you could use the help. Either way I say just let them come and visit. Plus your daughter could use the extra attention seeing as how a new baby is coming into the house and she won't be the baby anymore. ALSO don't have your husband speak for you, mother in-laws rather hear it straight from the source (you) not your husband, it just looks better if you can speak for yourself. I know in-laws can be hard to deal with but we all have them and its just part of family life.

Hi H.,
Are you close to your inlaws? They could possibly help with your daughter. Maybe tell them that you aren't having a party or are not going to be up for entertaining. They will probably be happy to have your daughter all to themselves. When my mom came to visit when I had my second I kind of felt like you, I didn't want to have to entertain her. Well, it was so nice for me because I didn't have to chase my 2 year old around while being 9 months pregnant. She was so happy to take him to the children's museum, ect. Not to mention she cooked about every meal. YEAH!! As long as you are truthful and they know ahead of time that you won't be up to doing lots of things then I wouldn't worry about it. Good luck.
Chris

I would have your husband tell them.

Being 9 mos. pregnant, you definately do not have to entertain, so don't even worry about that! Just tell your inlaws (or better yet, have your husband tell them, since he is their son!) that you will not be serving dinner (or any meal), and that they will have to order in. I don't think it's fair to exclude them from your daughter's birthday. I have learned in life to "fight your battles," and I do not feel like this is a battle or problem in any way. This is a non issue. You can let them come and still take it easy. Like other people suggested, have them help you with your daughter. Go get a pedi or take a nap while they are with her.

Hi H.!

I totally understand. Just be honest and tell them how you feel. Maybe you inlaws think that by coming then and entertaining your 2 year old, you could get some much needed rest before the baby is born, or get some last minute nesting done. They could also want to see your daughter before the new baby is here for the plain fact that after the new baby arrives, many times the first child feels kind of left out while eveyrone is oohing and aawing of the precious new bundle. I feel that honesty is the best policy, and this way you'll most likely find out why they want to come then instead of waiting.
Good Luck and Congratulations!!
J. in Macomb