Inappropriate Touch

Talk to the teacher as soon as you can. At this age kids are interested in their differences, but it is not appropriate to touch someone like she touched. I would speak to the teacher so she can handle the situation and speak to the other childs parents. Good luck!

Calmly and without malice!

~This little boy is also just 5 years old as well, I am assuming...so it's not like he is a molester or anything. I would just let the teacher know and ask them nicely to keep an extra good eye on the lil' explorer! Kids are very inquisitive at this age and even though it is scary and unsettling to us Moms, it is important to remind ourselves not to do anything too rash that would scar either child for life!

Then I would use it as an excellent teaching moment and remind my daughter that know matter what, that if ANYONE touches her like that that she is to immediately tell the teacher and then to tell Mom and Dad!

I would be concerned of why the boy thought it was ok, and if someone has done the same to him. I don't think your daughter was purposely inappropriately touched, but the boy who did it may be a victim himself.

You should inform the teacher, and have someone keep an eye on him.

Maybe I am overreacting - I know kids will be kids - but I would hate for something potentially serious in the boy's personal life to be overlooked.

Have you previously communicated with your daughter about good touch, bad touch, her private area, etc.

This is something I would think and hope you've been communicating with her for quite some time. If not, start now.

As for what happened at preschool, I don't see a 5 yr old as a molester and if you make a huge deal of this then you are setting a standard that touch is dirty, wrong, etc that will stay with her for years to come.

You need to carefully communicate that her privates are hers only and for no one to touch. This is a normal age for children to be inquisitive and I see it as the 5 yr old who touched her did not have proper communication at home either.

I would not blow this out of proportion because the last thing you want is for your child or another child to feel shamed and dirty.

Communication is key. It should start at a very early age and grow with the child.

Let the teacher know if you feel so inclined now that it's the end of the school year but please don't blow this out of proportion. The 5 yr old who touched her is more than likely as innocent as your daughter.

Teach your daughter boundaries.

You need to calmly talk to the teacher. He or she probably doesn't know this happened, and they will probably have some sort of procedure in place for this sort of thing. It's not unusual for kids that age to be interested in each other's parts, and it's great that your daughter told you about it. You also need to have the talk about inappropriate touches with her if you haven't already. Our DD knows that no one is allowed to touch her in the places her bathing suit covers.

If you haven't already its time for the good touch/ bad touch and thank you for telling you.

I would bring it up to the teacher first thing Monday morning. I would also tell the principle about it. Together they can handle it with the boy. Then I would follow up with both of them to make sure they got to the bottom of it.

i would handle it very, very calmly. it may be that the other child was having a 'let's explore' moment, which all kids have and needs to be dealt with by utilizing boundaries and proper information. it may also be a very simple and completely innocent thing that was misinterpreted. kids horse around and sometimes hands inadvertently end up where they shouldn't. 5 year olds tend not be serial molesters, so i wouldn't start with the premise that they are.
i'm assuming you've got an ongoing dialogue going on with her about privacy and touch (not some scary Big Talk but an open door of information). i certainly would want to understand what precisely went on in this case so would talk to her about it, but not grill her. i'd also have a word with the teacher, who might be able to shed some light, or at least be aware that the incident happened.
khairete
S.

C.:

I would go to the preschool Monday morning and talk with the center director. I would tell her what my daughter told me and who she said did it.

Freaking out right now isn't going to help anything and it might keep your daughter from telling you things in the future if you freaked out.

"did he now? boys can be sooo nosey!!! thanks for telling me! I hope you told him to take his hands out of your pants!!"

Then without leading her to say anything else....in fact - I wouldn't really PRESS her on it because then she'll know you're concerned.

Do you know why he would do that?
what did he do?
where were you?
Did any teacher see this happen? (and if they did - what did they do?)

The more you hype it up - the harder the truth comes and they start embellishing the story (in most cases - NOT ALL). Talk with the school. Reiterate to your daughter that no one is to touch her without her permission or anywhere where her bathing suit covers.

Just remain CALM!! DO NOT FREAK OUT!! DO NOT PANIC!!!

I assume that you (calmly) asked her several questions: where were you when this happened? did you tell the teacher? were you playing with him or did he just randomly come up to you?
Find out as much as you can from your daughter and then go to the teacher. Find out what she witnessed or heard. If your daughter didn't say anything to her teacher then it needs to be brought to her attention right away. Follow up with the school so you know exactly how they are handling it. Maybe the boy was just being silly but he's plenty old enough (I'm assuming 4 or 5?) to know that that is NOT acceptable behavior.

I would make sure that, at age 5, my child knew that the parts of his/her body that were covered by a bathing suit are "private" and that only mom, dad, him/her and a doctor are allowed to see/touch those parts.
I would tell my child that if anyone else ever attempts to touch those areas, he/she should tell an or another adult immediately.
I would also make the teacher aware of what happened.

I'm sure I would try to get the MOST info I could from my child, and present the info to the teacher first thing Monday morning.
You do have to realize that this can happen NOT in a preschool setting as well.
I was 5 the first time I played the "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" game with my 5 yr old neighbor. We were in the closet.
It's not a school problem but one that the teachers need to be made aware of so appropriate measures (most likely a talk with the offenders mom) can be taken.
I remember telling my mom after my incident also (gotta love the honesty of a 5yr old). I told her exactly what happened. She gave me the "touching" speech and didnt have to do more. I was schooled and armed after that.