In "Mommy Groundhog's Day"

Updated on May 19, 2011
M.O. asks from Barrington, IL
13 answers

I don't understand what's going on with me. I am, well, BORED.

I love being a SAHM. I appreciate NOT having to go to work and leave my kids.

But being STUCK tending to children, all day, everyday has made me loose myself.

I have joined some mommy's groups, have playdates for the kids, have the kids in activities to mix things up, etc. And I have a wonderful supportive husband who encourages me to get out with friends for dinner or some free time.

But I don't have a hobby/passion. I don't have anything FOR ME, that really brings me joy.

I am not sad. I don't have any worries. Life just seems so mundane.

How do I snap out of it and really start ENJOYING my life?

3 moms found this helpful

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Start volunteering---you will find so much joy and happiness in helping others. You could volunteer basically anywhere---food bank, homeless shelter, battered women's shelter, humane society or any cause that you really feel strongly about. I know this will help you and it will help others! Good luck!

Molly

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Find those hobbies. Do you have some land or a balcony you can garden on? What about a new pet? I kept seahorses for a year and wow, it was fun, rewarding, full of challenges, and way too time consuming. But I wouldn't trade that year for ANYTHING.

I love to read. Being home with my kids and my daycare for 25 YEARS... has been challenging. I've felt the way you do. I fill my little moments here and there when the kids don't need me with praying. I challenge myself to a cleaner house. I listen to music sometimes. I'm not passionate about music.

Mommy... It is OKAY for you to create a place of safety and a list of rules about their time alone to allow you time for yourself.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Happiness is a choice.
Believe it or not, although your life seems in a rut and rather repetitive right now, your kids are growing and the pattern will change.
Eventually you will miss all that you are bored with right now.
SO - why not build a scrap book of pictures and letters to yourself to document your life as it is right now?
10 years from now (and forever after) it will be one of your most precious possessions. And your children and grandchildren will enjoy looking through it, too.
You really ARE happy.
You just don't realize it.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

What did you do before kids? Try picking up some of those hobbies again.

There are meetup groups if you are interested in getting back into old hobbies or picking up new ones. I always feel that having a group of people to share my activities with me makes it more fun and more likely that I'll stick with it. Reading, crocheting, exercising, digital photography, and digital scrapbooking, traveling, and volunteering at church are all activities I've either continued or started since I've had children. Are any of these a grand passion? Maybe not, but they do contribute to a happier me.

You could also look into joining a local sports team, start gardening, learn to play an instrument, take classes at a local community college, the possibilities are endless.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

How about a part-time job? I've been working part-time since my daughter was one and I tell ya - best thing I could've done for myself and of course, our household. I've recently had to stop working (my daughter is now 6) due to some issues my daughter is having and I miss it so much! I can't even tell you what it did for me to go to work everyday and even more so how much I appreciated the time spent with my daughter because we weren't together every day dealing with "groundhog day." Or if you can try volunteering, like someone mentioned. I also scrapbook and have my own scrapbooking room. My daughter and I sometimes scrapbook together and it really is a wonderful break in the routine of playing with her toys and we're doing something together that we love.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.S.

answers from Houston on

In addition to what SLM suggested, find something, like a hobby, you are interested in that you can teach your kids or do with them. It might give you some purpose to your day and you might even start looking forward to spending time w/your kids in that way!

1 mom found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

My days are different but from the time after dinner to bedtime is my "groundhogs day."

So glad I'm getting my 'mother's day present' this week. Four nights of concerts with my friends and dad is at home with my son. They both love it and it really adjusts my atittude! :)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When I get like that I try to think about the people who are NOT bored but wish they were. Parents whose children have life threatening diseases, caregivers to elderly parents, people who are undergoing chemo, people who have lost a child, etc. When I think of all of this it makes me truly appreciate my ho- hum day.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I know where you are coming from, absolutely. When I start feeling like this I do think of those Moms who wish they could stay home but their circumstances do not allow them. Imagine how lost you would feel doing a job you (maybe) don't like for 8 or more hours a day while your kids are in daycare and there is no option to pursue what you like because there just aren't enough hours in the day!

For me, personally, I love to play tennis. I am not very good at it and rarely win, however, I just love playing and watching it on TV. It is a great source of joy for me and also challenges me (and frustrates me :)! I've managed to make a couple friends who also enjoy it so I get to the courts about once a week and hubbie watches the kids and makes sure he is home early enough from work for me to play.

I used to like scrapbooking for the kids, but now much prefer to make the books on a website like Shutterfly or something. It lets me be creative and give the gift of memories to my kids, because we all think we'll remember everything, but I know I won't.

Just give some things a try. Summer is a great time for this - pick up your park districts catalog and see what interests you - a sport, exercise class, creative class. It may take some trying some things you end up not liking to find something you really enjoy.

I wish you all the best.

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T.R.

answers from Chicago on

I saw a great sign in a store window the other day. It read "Everything you want in life is just outside your comfort zone." ..doesn't give you any answers but certainly gives a clue where to look for them :)

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C.W.

answers from Chicago on

Totally! I am sooo with you on this.
We are currently in the process of moving (should happen this summer after a long period of trying to sell). So I feel l've sacrificed a lot of "me" in choosing to stay home w/my kids, and *then* sacrificing a lot of time from other things as I have focused on selling our home. I've also hesitated to jump-start anything new (be it part time work, a new activity for me on the schedule, church/school volunteering, etc.) until we are re-settled.
Its been a total treadmill! I was just saying to a friend that I'm experiencing a little mommy burn-out!!

I've been reading a fantastic little book called "the happiness project" by gretchen rubin. Its been helpful and getting my gears turning a lot. In a similar vein, I've also started reading "The Happiest Mom" blog (there is a book too) by Meagan Francis and its been comforting to have a few resources to read to continually gain perspective on this life-long role!!

Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Pretty sure most stay at home moms have felt this way at some point, you are surely not alone! For me, I have a background working with kids so always thought I'd be a stay at home mom and absolutely love it. After about the first 6 months, I felt as you do. Part-time work, working somehow from home, and volunteering has been my best of both worlds since having my 7 year old. Balance in all of life seems to be a constant struggle. Best wishes to you in finding something you love to do to break up the days. Things I've done that may or may not fit your personality...working in a preschool day care where the kids could come along, home child care, volunteering at the schools... While home day care involves much of the same thing as stay at home mom, there's more structure with it and getting to know the families has formed great friendships. It's not for everyone, but for me, I love my job and I love that it allows me to be home with my family and keeps me busy enough that I don't nit-pick my home, lol Keep brainstorming and just try new things to find something you really enjoy to do with caring for your family :)

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe try an exercise class. You will get moving which will make you feel good, and you will most likely meet other women that can become new great friends as well.

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