N.D.
Take a deep breath. I think that you will notice that this time is stressful for all of us and as you will (and probably have seen), in laws seem to be the highlight of discussions lately. So, deep breath, my friend. Deep breath.
I too have crazy in-laws, although it sounds like yours could give mine a run for my money. Lying about cancer? Wow! Anyway, my advice is this: Have a heart to heart with your husband where there is no screaming, blaming, etc. Tell him that *you* are at a loss. That *you* don't want to get involved in the drama this year and that *you* are hoping that he can help you. Get him to the point that he realizes that you aren't blaming him for his family's problems and give him an opportunity to "fix" it. Give him some possible thoughts that you think might help and guide him towards the one that you think is best but let it be *his* idea.
I am sorry to hear that you have Cancer. I hope that you and your family can concentrate on what's really important this year...that you are here with your children and husband. Hey, maybe you can just tell your husband that you want a "quiet" Christmas this year and that you just want to focus on the most important things in life.
Good luck, S.. I hope that you have a great holiday season.
Kind regards,
N.