I'm the Worst Mother

Thank you for reminding me why my son has 3 "na-na"s!

I like the idea of taking him to the "night-night store" and having him pick out a new one by himself.

Awww.... My daughter lost her lovey a couple of months ago. She's not quite two yet, so she was only upset for like a day. We bought her a new stuffed animal. She doesn't have the same attachment to the new one... But she isn't asking for the old one. Good luck.

Same thing happened to us, and after many many days, we found it in the very bottom of the toy box. I didn't even realize that he had emptied it and put his toys back by himself.

Oh, don't beat yourself up...I know you feel horrible right now but it's not the end of the world, and the sooner you get over it, the sooner he will. My mother lost MY lovey when I was 3 years old. I don't remember a thing about it, but of course SHE does. It was a stuffed-toy walrus called Wally and one day, while we were at the mall and I had fallen asleep in the stroller, Wally had fallen out somewhere and she didn't realize it until we were back at the car. She went back and traced her steps, looked everywhere and asked store employees - nope, Wally was gone. She felt sick over it, but apparently I got over it in about 3 days. Funny thing is, even as an adult, she sometimes would buy me a stuffed-toy walrus if she found one, like she was still trying to make it up to me. I was like, no really Mom, I'm fine!

As the now grown child who lost their lovey, I can assure you that I am perfectly normal and don't have any residual emotional damage. Your son will be okay if he can see that you are okay and not getting all upset about it. He might be more open to getting a new one than you think if you give it a try. Kids need to learn to cope with things like this that sometimes happen and realize that they can come up with solutions, rather than just falling to pieces.

Welcome Mama to the "Worst Mama in the World Club"! We are quite a large group and our membership grows leaps and bounds every day! I acquired my membership the same way you did. I left my daughter's " Deedie" at a friend's house. We left without even remembering we brought it there! It is her treasured stuffed doggie that was with her through all her times in the hospital. Half a year later I saw it in a pile of old toys my friend was selling at a garage sale. We also tried to find another one while it was MIA but of course they no longer make it. We tried a close cousin of
Deedie but not much luck. Maybe take him to Toys R Us to pick out
another special lovie. Perhaps if he selects it that will help! Anyhooo, welcome!

oh shucks! That is my worst fear. I was thinking I should have bought 2 when I discovered my kids lovies but I didn't. How old is your little one? Could you take him to the store & let him pick out a new lovie? Maybe say that lovie went to be with a little boy or girl who didn't have one and is being loved???? idk...never went thru it. I am so sorry

ETA - not the worst mom ever...give yourself a break

No, see I am the bad mom, lost is lost. Instead of giving them false hope it can be found I just went straight to accepting the loss and moving on.

Two of my four had favorite blankets, I lost them when they were a year and a half. Like a pacifier, much easier to do when they are younger.

Ahhh sis, it's OK...you are not the worst Mommy ever! Sometimes stuff just happens!

Really really rethink every step and look in all the places it could *never* be...just in case.

Put positive vibes out in the universe, not that you already haven't, right? But it might just show up still, you never know? Unless of course you ARE really starting to accept that it is gone, that is OK too!

I agree with taking him to the store...or heck 3 or 4 stores until he finds a new night-night?

~The reward for night-night is *totally* something I would do too!

Chin up. This will NOT scar your baby boy for life...promise!!!

Before you categorically reject any new 'night night' you should at least try it. But YOU have to buy it as the replacement as much as he does so don't give it to him with tears in your eyes or regret in your voice. A positive approach is key. I suggest even taking him to the store to pick out a new one. MAke it a fun thing.

You're not a bad mommy, Angie! This stuff happens. They do eventually get over it. The timing was really bad, I know.

Just stick with him as much as you can. Don't let him come sleep with you though. That's where I would draw the line. You'll have him trading you for the lovey in the middle of the night.

I doubt that it would make you feel any better, but I had a friend whose neighbor constantly made remarks about how "dirty" her son's lovey was. The neighbor actually picked it up outside in the child's yard and threw it in the garbage just before the trash was picked up. My friend was looking everywhere for it, and the neighbor came out and bragged that she threw it away. Talk about upset... What a terrible neighbor!!

Hugs, Angie! And to your little guy too!
Dawn

That is why I always rotated blankets and stuffies. I learned this from my mom and she learned it the hard way.

My little sister had this special pillow case. It was ugly, red, white, and blue stripes. She had picked it up once at a garage sale and my sister took an immediate attachment to it. No biggy, till my mom lost it. My sister carried it everywhere, and one night when my mom went to lay her down it was gone. My sister was so upset, but my mom figured she would 'get over it'.

My sister did fall asleep, but woke up at 1 am hysterical. She was completely inconsolable, so what does my mom do? She is out searching the neighborhood, at 1 am, even knocking on neighbors doors. Bet they liked that one lol.

No luck, for 3 days my sister was a wreck. The night of the third day a neighbor came over and had found the pillow. Well that's what she told my sister. We learned, that she really hadn't found it. She was running errands when she decided to take a quick stop at a garage sale, and she saw 4 of those exact cases. she bought all 4 of them, went home found an older pillow and put it in the pillow case. Then she gave my mom the remaining 3 just in case.

this wasn't a neighbor my mom knew well. Just hello/goodmorning kinda thing, but she saved my mothers bum!

So have hope, maybe someone will have one like that and give it over, and maybe someone will see have it, but hasn't seen the signs yet.

Well, my parents gave my baby blanket to our horny dog, and it became his "bimbo." Yuck. My older sister, on the other hand, still sleeps with hers (she is 32). So, I guess my parents did me a favor(?) ;-)

Jerry Springer hasn't had this as a topic so I'm pretty sure you haven't hit worst Momma. Give yourself a break. You have done everything you can to try to get his blankie back to him. He won't be scared for life. It may take some time to adjust though. Just be understanding with him. He will be just fine.

Make a special outing with him to choose a new lovey. Make it a right of passage from "baby" to "big boy." Celebrate with a special lunch and a treat, even if it's just tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches and an ice cream cone or whatever would his idea of a perfect lunch.

Please don't beat yourself up over it. You don't deserve it, especially being depressed. You're too preoccupied with this, and your son is probably picking up on it. Don't let it be THAT important to either of you, okay? This is a great life lesson for him and it'll teach him to take better care of his valued possessions.

I will be mailing you the current trophy. I have held it for a while now. but will be glad to pass it on. Your not the first mama to loose the lovey. My son had a white mouse puffel lump that went every where with him. the ear was a permanent attachment to his hand lol. When we went on vacation one year it got left behind in the hotel. (we were at disney world and he would dart out the door to get going each day) on the last day somehow it got left. he was nuts the first couple days and then it calmed down. it never was found. i got a new one on ebay but it wasn't the same and he would hold it and then just throw it down to play with something else. just take a deep breath and know it will be ok. sending hugs your way you probably need them more than he does.

First of all, you are not a bad mommy! Things happen beyond our control. Material items wear out or get lost, but just assure him that you are there to comfort him during this time. Perhaps you could go to a fabric store and find material and/or design/color that looks like his night-night? You could talk to him about finding a new night-night friend like his other one. Get creative with it, let him be a part of picking something out. Let him see there are a variety of textures out there like fleece or chenille and lots of different colors and prints. Maybe that will help? I'm just brainstorming here. My kids didn't get attached to any one thing for very long. Good luck!
HTH,
A.

Yikes! I have been there. My oldest had a blanket he loved and we left it behind at grandmas in a different state. They couldn't find it. He was sick. We found it 6 months later. He never took it anywhere again for fear of loosing it. It's in his drawer up stairs. He is at college!
Tak him shopping or find something old with a well loved smell. Try that.
Tell him it was yours and it wants to be his. Something with texture or character. Good luck! And you aren't the worst mommy!

You're not the worst mom.
As you can see, it happens to the best of us.

My son lost his night night. Well, my ex-husband made it disappear and blamed it on my mother to punish me. He was a very bitter psycho at the time.

Anyway, night night was gone and my son was quite upset about it. We had no choice to get him something else. I gave him one of my pillow cases and we found him a stuffed puppy that we named Mitzvah. He adored that puppy. Just to be on the safe side, Mitzvah stayed home with me when my son visited his dad.

My son is 17 now and still has Mitzvah. When my son has a child of his own, his treasured puppy can go back to live with him.

My daughter lost her favorite doll one time. She had accidentally put it down when we were in a store. We went back and searched, called the store several times to see if anyone had turned it in. No chance. The doll was wearing beautiful hand sewn clothes. My daughter was pretty heart broken and she didn't want me to get her another doll just like it. She said she knew it wouldn't be the same. I told her some other little girl must have really needed that doll worse than she did. Inside, I was highly upset that someone would just take it home as opposed to turning it in.

My daughter had lots of other dolls after that and Grandma sewed more clothes for them. She even had a doll cradle made for her. My daughter never did get over missing the doll she lost though. I mean, she didn't cry for her every day or anything, but she missed her.

I think you're just going to have to be proactive and find something else.
Whatever you do, don't let your son see you so upset about the whole thing because that will rub off on him.

Hang in there!

If you're a bad mom, then so is every single mom on this site! We've ALL lost something that means something to our kids. Please, give yourself a break. You are a great mom, and you accidentally lost something. We've all been there.

Maybe, he'd like to pick out a new one himself? So sorry about this. I think you've done all you can to find it.

Check some of the businesses around the school (unless it's a stand alone school, then you might have any other places where someone may have taken it.)

I assume you've checked the car and all over the house. I honestly can't think of anywhere else.

*hugs*

You are NOT the worst mom or a bad mom in the slightest. You are a good mom who loves their kiddo and things happen---What you do now is you go and find another lovie that your child would/could like then you wrap it up like a nice present and get a card to open too and give it to him as a gift. Say you are so sorry that Night-Night was lost but you hope that they can learn to love this _____ too. (bear,dog etc) Then you hug him and tell him you will keep searching but to let this bear/dog etc love on him til then. Hang in there and get a backup for next time so you always have a spare.... GL

Relax you're not a bad mom. It happens to the best of us. My son has a bear that he calls mister bear and I remember one night we couldn't find it. It was his bed time and he was sitting on his bed crying and I tore up my apartment looking for it. He was about 4 years old and it took me about 4 hours to find it. Take him to the store and tell him he could pick out another "night-night". Then go back when he isn't with you and get another one.
It's ok. Don't beat yourself up for it. Just take a deep breath and relax.

Things happen. Sounds like you are more upset than he is. The lesson here is if a child has a a "night night" always have an extra and switch from early on. Remember for the next baby.

Don't worry, we ALL join the "worst mother" club at one point or another. Maybe my story will make you feel better? 3 weeks ago my 8 year old learned how to ride a bike (yeah, we forced her with the "you're not going to turn 9 and still not ride a bike!! - and no, that's not the bad mom part). Then 2 weeks ago my daughter came in the house to tell me that she and some friends were going to ride down this large grassy hill near our house. I thought, for about 2 seconds, that I should say NO. I should've said "you just learned how to ride! You're not going down that big hill!" But did I? No, I let her go. And she broke her arm. And this weekend she is missing her last swim meet as an 8&under where she would've kicked some butt in all the 25's (she moves up to 50 yards in all races in November when she turns 9) So yeah, I'm in the club too. I know it wasn't my fault, deep down. But I should've said NO. Oh well. Good luck to you and your little one. I know losing a lovey can be traumatic!! My 11 year old still sleeps with "woofie", a dog she's had since birth.