Im Going to Be Nursing by New Baby, but What Do I About My 8 Year Old Son?

My oldest is 7 and he has watched me both breastfeed and pump for his 3 year old brother (when littler) and his now 7 month old brother. He knows that this is how many babies (not all) eat and thinks that 'mommy milk' is gross! But the act itself? He never had/has a problem with it. In fact, he thinks so LITTLE of it that he forgets to ask to bring playmates into the house and exposes me to his little friends!! It embarrasses me a little but the kids don't bat an eyelash.

I would cover up. I don't think any 8 year old boy wants to see their moms boob(for any reason)! :)

Haven't read the other answers but this is the reason I exculsively pumped with my daughter. Also I was HUGE so that may make a difference. My vote is cover up.

I don't think you should cover up. Nursing is a perfectly normal thing, as is the human body, which your son will eventually know all about. I think it's better her learn it more realistically and scientifically from you as opposed to all of his schoolmates.

Just my opinion.

No, I would not cover up. My son was 7 when my daughter was born and he thought nothing of it and just went on him marry way as I nursed.

When he gets older he willnot be so curious if he runs into a mom nurding in public he will recognise this as a natural and normal behavior.

Congrats.

ADDED: Let me ask those who have an issue with descrete public nursing. Do you cover your bottle? If you can wip out a bottle then why not nurse. i find it offensive when a mom is descretly covered as best as her and her baby can tolerate and somone says you should go in the bathroom and do that, hey would you eat your dinner on the toilet? Nursing should be looked at no differently as a bottle. It is not sexual it is functional!!! If your hubby was there then I can see the issue.

Just act as natural as it is. Then he will not think there is any shame or anything titillating about it.

I wouldn't worry about it. You are feeding the baby .If you make a big deal out of it, he will think its wrong or will be more curious. My oldest is 8.5 and still shows no issues seeing a mom nurse, or me just out of the shower, etc. Nurse your baby comfortably, but don't go to great lengths to cover yourself, its not necessary.

I agree with other posters that you shouldn't cover up. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and something you don't really see in the media. How else are little boys and girls supposed to know that breasts aren't exclusively sexual objects. I think you would give your son a balanced view of the female body that will go far in the long run. If he happens to bring it up to his friends, it would be in the context that you are feeding his sibling - not that you are doing anything wrong or shameful that necessitates covering up. I think there's a big difference between lifting your entire breast out of the top of your shirt vs. what some of the other posters said (wearing a nursing tank and pulling up a shirt so that the whole breast isn't exposed). That said, the American culture can be very Victorian - and you can see that from many of the women who posted on here who are uncomfortable seeing other women nurse. It is up to us to normalize breastfeeding and teach the future generation that women's bodies are more than just sexual and that breasts really were designed for feeding babies. After all, we don't shield our kids' eyes from cow udders, do we? :) I think we should be more concerned with our kids watching Britney Spears videos than seeing a woman breastfeed her child, LOL! Anyway, by being open about nursing, you are teaching your son how to be a good Dad too :) Best of luck!

I wouldn't cover up unless it seems to make your son uncomfortable. As long as you don't make a big deal of it, I don't think he will either.

I would NOT cover up. This is why BFing makes people so uncomfortable, b/c breasts are seen as sexual objects, not what they were designed for! I think if we can normalize it as much as possible, especially with our kids (no matter what their age!), then they will see it as a normal thing and not think anything of it to see a woman BFing. I do also believe in some discretion, though. At home, yes, I may just pop my boob out to BF my baby in front of DH and my ODS (who is 3.5). But in public or around anyone else, I BF discreetly without a cover. I always wear a tank under my shirt (so my belly isn't exposed!), and lift up my top, so nothing is even seen, unless one is looking too closely.

I love that my 3.5 y/o son knows that boobs are for BFing! If he happens to notice boobies (what he calls them) on some picture or somewhere, I ask him what they are for. He always answers "baby eat boobies" (he has a speech delay, so he uses simple phrases still...he means that babies eat from boobies!). I know he will grow up knowing that breasts are first and foremost for nourishing babies.

If we hide our BFing, then we will be right back where everyone is uncomfortable with it (and many still are). If kids are comfortable with it now, then they will be comfortable with it as adults.

Please don't cover up too much. Covering up would send the wrong message to your son about women, breasts, and our bodies. Our oldest was 7-8 when I was nursing our youngest, and he was always comfortable with it. Nothing wrong with curiosity about our multi-functional bodies. Here's an opportunity to help balance the images of women's breasts from television, advertising, etc., that he is already being bombarded with, with an image of what else breasts can be useful for.

My boys are 7 and 4 and I have a 3 month old. We are very open with our boys about breast feeding and they were curious at first. I do not cover up while I am in the privacy of my own home. The boys are used to it.

I think that as long as you are open with your son about what you are doing and that its perfectly normal. It might also be a good time to talk about how our bodies are different.

When I was pregnant, my 7 year old had MANY questions about the baby and how it got in there. We gave him a very pg rated answer, but still giving him enough information rather than brushing him off with "childish" answers.

This may be an excellent learning (and bonding) experience for all of you!!

Congratulations on your new baby.

no way! Kids (and adults!) totally need to see that breastfeeding is a normal thing, and that breasts aren't just sexualized objects. If it's "normal" to you then it will be "normal" to him. If he's curious, I would just answer his questions honestly. Hopefully this will help him in his understanding of a female's body, and help him to support the mother of his own kids in her breastfeeding someday.

i wouldnt. that is what breasts are for and what a great lesson to teach your child! also the chances of your baby letting you use a cover the entire nursing process is slim to none so i wouldnt bother. he is going to learn that the primary purpose of a breast is to nourish a child, not something that is a sexual object.

I am honestly appalled to see how so many women are still so freaked out by nursing. I would say why go to great lengths to cover up? I know both of my children HATED not being able to see me when I nursed them. We don't throw a blanket over a baby drinking a bottle, right? This is why bottle feeding has become a norm, and the most natural thing has become so out there. By covering you are teaching your son that nursing is something to hide and is not natural. That is what breasts are actually for. You're not abusing him if he sees a baby nursing. Children are inappropriately exposed to breasts all day every day, so why take the one opportunity where it would be appropriate and hide it? It's nonsense.

I've got 3 kids. Nursed or are nursing all of them. There is 8 years between the oldest and youngest and 5 years between the second and youngest.
Breast are for breast feeding children.
I don't cover up. Mind you I'm not sitting here with no shirt with my breasts hanging out either. They could care less. My breasts have always made milk and it's nothing to them.
I nursed my first until almost 3, my second until he was almost 5 and my youngest is nearly 17 months. It's just normal to them that I'm nursing their sibling.
It's not a sexual thing at all. No need to treat it as such and assign shame and secrecy to it.

I think it is what you are comfortable with. When my niece saw me nurse she asked questions, and my sister was fine with me answering them. My 2.5 yo son is now asking questions, and I am fine with it. If the baby unlatches for a moment though, he will tell me to close my boob (his way of saying cover up). He understand that that is how I feed her, and knows that girls get boobs, boys don't. I am very comfortable with him knowing that this is natural and that I shouldn't be embarrassed by it.

I think with an 8 yo boy, I'd cover up.

I have 5 & 7 yr old boys...I definitely don't "flaunt" it but I nurse around them all the time and there is no longer anything too curious about it. I think it gives them a healthy view of a woman's body, that it is functional as well as beautiful :).

No, you don't need to cover up or do something unless he has friends over. You do not need to show a lot of skin when you nurse, your whole breast doesn't need to be exposed and you don't need to walk around shirtless, so really it's not a big deal. Breastfeeding should be seen as normal and if you treat it that way, your son will get that message.

I dont think he needs to see your tit hanging out entirely, I'd keep it veiled, the occasional looks see is not bad while you are getting into position but I'd keep it covered after that. I often wore tshirts and the tshirt covers the boob and tucks nicely under babies head. After you son sees it a couple of times he's not gonna pay it any mind after that anyway.... you dont have to be too modest, he is only 8 and I'm sure it wont bother him one way or another.

I agree with one poster -- see how your new baby is first, and also how your son reacts. If he gets shy or upset, but you cannot cover baby, you might need to turn your back or use another room with the door open so you can still talk with your boy without his embarassment. How is he now with you being naked, using the restroom or showering around him ? That would give you some baseline to work with.

Congratuations:)

I would. My sons are 5 and 6, and I have started to explain to them that since we are different mommy now needs privacy when she is changing ect... I think this would go with nursing as well. It is a natural thing, but my feeling is that others do not need to see my breasts regardless of whether what I am doing with them is natural. Ask your self this. If a friend of yours came over and took her breast out in front of your child, would you be comfortable with that? I know I would not.

See how your sons feels about it. Tell him that you'll be nursing the baby and there may be times when you mightl be kind-of showing a little but not a lot. Say " I know that you're pretty smart and realize that this is how a lot of babies are fed - but not everyone is comfortable with it. What do you think is a good way to nurse around people?" Deflect the idea of discomfort to "other people". Ask him - some people may feel uncomfortable around a mom who is nursing her baby - what do you think I should do? Put a cloth over my shoulder and the baby's head to cover up or not? You'll get an idea of what he thinks. I have a feeling that however you start the process he'll get so used to it that he won't notice it after a week or so and you'll be able to nurse anyway you want.

I would cover up and be modest. Don't freak about him catching a glimpse but don't expose yourself either. Act natural and discreet.

i think totally depends on your child and your situation. i was wondering the same thing for myself lately because my son will be almost 8 when the new baby is born and i plan on nursing. i plan to have an open dialogue with him about it ahead of time and he does know that he was nursed and that is why women have breasts. i don't think he will have a problem with it as much as maybe i might. every family and every dynamic is personal and you need to do what works best for your situation. good luck and congratulations!!

I recently went through the exact situation. My son now 9 and my youngest 18 months. I breastfed for the first 6 to 7 months and thought my son would freak out but it really didn't bother him. I tried staying covered for the most part but not always easy. If we were at home I would use my shirt to help cover my breast but my older son never really cared. He would ask questions like, how does a mom's body know to make milk? or "how does your body know how much milk to make? I tried to explain things as best as possible and I think since I never made a big deal about feeding from my breast I think that in turn made it not such a big issue for him. If we had company then I went an extra mile and added a blanket to help cover up but my son hated anything over him that made him hot.

I would cover up for an 8yr old. At 4 or 5yrs old, you could probably get away with it, but at 8yrs old, they are aware of the difference between milk from mommy and breasts on a woman!

My son was 2.5 when I had my daughter and I breastfed her openly in my home. He was so curious about her and wanted to help take care of her. He wanted to help feed her too. He had to settle with sitting close and watching her nurse. He would "help" by helping hold her head up. It was really cute actualy.

I suggest you wait to see what kind of nurser your baby is before you decide how to handle this. It may be easy to cover up. It may not. If it's easy to be discrete, that's great but if it's not, you'll have to take it as it comes.

When my now 9 month old was born, he'd only nurse if I lay down with him in a dark room! He'll nurse anywhere now, but he's always unlatching so it's hard to be discrete. My now 6 year old nursed well & it was easy to be discrete.

When I nursed the baby in our main room, my two year was more concerned about my exposure than my 6 year old, but I think he believed my breast was out by accident (he's big into putting things away: ) Neither the 2 nor the 6 year old really even notice anymore.

I think it depends on the situation or place that your at. I have a 17 year old step son and I cover up when hes around. Otherwise if its just myself and my family I just nurse. I think when you have the baby you will figure what your comfortable with and what your not. Nursing your baby is going to show that the breast is important in feeding a child...

LOL to grandma T - I have an 8 year old son, and he does not want to see my breasts - they are kept covered for modesty - if I get out of the shower and he comes in, I will put my hands over them.

Whne I breast fed my daughter (now 2), I would drape a very light blanket over myself, yes cover up - it is a natural act, but I would not walk around walmart doing it.

I am going on number 3 too, but the ages are much less. My oldest will be nearly 4 YO when the baby is born in February.

I would agree not to cover up per-say - that is I would not make a huge deal over covering versus being discrete. You also don't need to make a public announcement when you are feeding the baby either.

When my daughter was 2.5 and the second child was born, I nursed around her all the time. If there were family or friends over, or if we were out, I made sure to take steps to be discrete like using the rocking chair in the nursery or finding a more secluded, but clean, area to nurse (i.e. I did not sit in the middle of the mall, but maybe on side bench or near a corner in the food court). If she ever asked why I was leaving, I told her that Mama needed to feed her Baby Brother and that sometimes it was better to do this in private. Sometimes she would tag along and sometimes not. To this day she will occassionally sit and "nurse" her own "baby". She can get a little dramatic and rip off her shirt so I will usually tell her something like "that is nice" and tell her that maybe we can be a "little more polite" since little girls don't show their tummies. (Note these are smaller words that she understands.) I also suggest that when baby is done that we see if it would like a bottle too. Daddy would bottle feed BM to her brother she knows that feeding works both ways. Since I've stopped nursing, she is more apt to reach for her bottle first. :-)

I agree that as long as you are not hanging out or ripping off your own shirt, it will be fine and just be a natural occurrance.

~C.

If you cover up, you make it seem shameful or dirty. As you yourself said - it's a natural thing and no reason why it should be hidden. Don't add attention to it by covering up. By showing your confidence and pride in yourself and what your body does, you show your son how women should be viewed and respected.

Congrats on the new baby!

I don't think you should cover up and I am not a gung ho breastfeeding mom. I tried but failed at 4 weeks with my twins and resorted to bottle feed. Mine are now almost 8 come December and I already decided that IF we had another I would do so openly in front of them because as others here have said there is so much media confronting breast as a sexual thing or having big breast is what makes you a "woman" when in fact the purpose of breast is to supply a need to a human being. It might just make your son have a more positive outlook on women rather than just a "sexual" thing that the media forces upon everyone! Geez! It doesn't have to be complicated if you don't make it that way-society makes it that way.

No, don't worry about covering up. It will seem normal to him very quickly after baby is born.

I would cover up. I did not BF though.

It bothers me to see someone flip a boob out in public and start nursing............which I am sure you are not talking about.... but then I have no issue going to a topless beach and seeing boobs, I get topless too.

He knows about bodies if he is 8. Be open, honest and communicate with him. Get a feel for how he feels about it then move forward.

Congratulations !!

I would cover up when he is around, I think he is at an age where he doesn't need to see boobs where a younger child wouldn't care. You can drape a baby blanket over your should and still nurse while he is in the room.

My kids are 9,8,and 6 and I am always talking about privacy. Oh course I'm not preg and they are all girls, just what I would do.

Congrats on your new baby! I have a Dec baby too, it will be here before you know it.

Cover, I breast feed all 3 of my children and there is 10 years between my first and the last. Yes, breast feeding is natural but does not have to be overly exposed for lack of a better phrase. My boys were 10 and 6 when I had my daughter and they knew all about breast feeding. Your son should be fine just be modest.

I nursed my 3rd child (a girl) when my boys were almost 8 and 6. But I was very modest about it. I wouldn't just let your boob hang out all over place but cover with your shirt or a blanket.

I think by the age of 8 years old, they get a little too curious, and talk to their friends at the lunch table. I would cover up.

I didn't read to many of your answers but I so feel you on this one. I have a 7 year old step son, when i had my son a year ago my step son was VERY curious about the whole nursing thing since his Mom didn't nurse him. I was a bit uncomforatble about it at first, didn't want him in the room and etc. But as my Son got older, i was a bit more relaxed but still not to the point where i'd let him sit and watch. If he walked in and out of the room, or came to talk to me while i was nursing ( me and baby covered with a blanket, and him on the other side of the room) i was find with that! its natural and i didn't want my SS to feel uncomfortable it was me. So try it out alone at first- then see how it goes :)

My daughter is about to turn 8... if I were in your situation... I would just nurse my baby. My daughter knows she was breastfed and she self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.. she knows what breastfeeding is. Its not a big deal to her.

For your son, go by his cues. Bottom line. And by how open or not or comfortable your family is with it.

But sure, get a nursing apron... for when you are out with your baby. It is useful, anyway. Anywhere.

all the best,
Susan