Breastfeeding and Modesty

I don't care one bit. It doesn't even phase me. I was pretty diligent about being covered up when we were in public, but my one and only reason was because I worried about running into one of my 3rd grade students! :) If I were in a women's lounge or something I didn't worry one little bit.

I had one of those cute little cover ups. I had no problem doing it in public. As for when I see other mom's doing it, good for them! I honestly don't care if they cover up or not

I became a militant breastfeeder, after starting out all modest and timid about it. Anytime, anywhere.

I'm pro for whatever mother and baby think is best :) a boob, is a boob, is a boob in my opinion. I'm not bothered by breastfeeding or the lack thereof.

I was never uncomfortable breastfeeding but I do know that I made others uncomfortable and was told to sit in the other room or go into the bathroom while in public. I always showed as little skin as possible and mostly because it was the dead of winter (I live near Chicago) and its cold!! But all honesty, I would have covered up as much as possible regardless of the weather.

My response was usually "do you like to sit by yourself in a room while others are having fun in another room? or do you eat in the bathroom?" no thank you.

I think if it makes you uncomfortable then you turn away :)

I couldn't decide whether to answer this or not.

My wife nursed all of ours for 12 to 13 months and then put them on a bottle. She covered up for all of them unless it was just she and I at home. But I noticed she was slower to cover on the last ones than she was on the first ones. I never asked her why. I just figured it was up to her.

It doesn't bother me at all, covered or uncovered. How much more natural can it be, a mother nursing her baby. I think that's really neat. I have been asked by nursing mothers if it bothered me and should they be covered. I always told them it didn't bother me one way or another. Only one covered up. When she did that, I moved so she could have more privacy.

I think nursing mothers should have accolades and honors.

Good luck to you and yours.

I breastfeed everywhere. Sometimes I use a nursing cover (in front of my crazy MIL who stares at me), but usually I just try to be discreet, undoing my nursing bra under my shirt and then pulling it up when baby is right there. I make sure to wear clothes that are easy to nurse in. I think it's completely asinine that people to get offended over women nursing their children. And my DDs don't make sounds audible to anyone else in a room, except when they take a bottle.

I got used to doing it in public by practicing in front of just ladies (at my womens bible study), first few times I was bad at flashing. My good friend was flashing me accidentally even with trying to use a cover when we were hanging out nursing our babies. I was suprised how uncomfortable it made me. Seeing a nipple is like being flashed with high beams. It is distracting. I acctually got a little flustered and forgot what I was talking about. But thats more something the veiwer needs to get over than the nursing mother. Its good for me to remember that is made me a bit uncomfortable because I've gotten reall lax about being private now that i've been nursing a year. Amongst family, me, my sisters and sister-in-law do scarcely little to be private amongst our fathers and fathers-in-law, and they are very comforable with it now. they just divert thier eyes. The only time I was uncomfortable was when I went to church without my husband and nursed sitting next to an 8-year-old boy I did not know (with a cover). I don't think its necssesary to let it hang out, and I don't think its necessary to stress about accidental public flashing. I think there should be a reasonable effort put forth from mama to cover up in public. Its easy enough to do. My daughter now hates the hooter hider, but I've learned to dress in layers and can manage very disceatly to nurse in public even without a cover. Theres no reason not to be discrete in public, because there is still a segment of the population that may find it titalating or uncomfortable (young boys).

I never had any problems nursing my baby in public or in front of family members. I always have had the attitude that "why should I miss out on anything because I am nursing?" I have many found memories about nuring in private and in public. I even had a teenager make the comment that "she just wipped her boob out!" LOL yes I did my baby was hungry and Daddy wouldn't stop talking so I nursed right then and there holding baby.

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I am not shy about breastfeeding but am very respectful of others and their possible discomfort with my nursing. I always ask if I am with other people so I can go in private if they are uncomfortable, I am sure to be discreet always, and if we are at a restaurant or other public place I just go to my car or the bathroom to nurse.

I can honestly say I haven't seen that many people nursing in public. Maybe 3 or 4 times. I personally do not have a problem with it. I can think of a million other things I would have much more of a problem with then a woman feeding a baby. Kind of crazy really that our society tends to frown on it all really.

Enjoy!

i tried to cover up in public and certainly in front of men because personally, thats me. I dont mind seeing other women whip it out though, baby wants food, baby should get it and thats what boobs are for.

I would openly and without cover do it in front of girls though.

I personally preferred to be covered unless I was at home. In the beginning it was hard b/c we both were not very good at it and I would go sit in the dressing room if I had to. They really need more mothers rooms at public places if some people are going to complain about it. I too, hate that breasts are so sexualized, b/c this is really the biological reason we even have them!! I do remember one time I was nursing covered up and my ex mother in law was sitting beside me. She pulled up the blanket and was talking to my baby!!! I was mortified!!!!

You can do whatever you want, but I would want to cover up in public if possible. It's natural, but I would feel more comfortable. I didn't always feel this way until I was working retail and a woman finished breastfeeding and walked up to the counter with her breast still exposed and proceeded to ask me questions about merchandise. I worked in the shoe department so there was no need for me to see her breast. After that I just thought that if it were me I'd cover up.

I never felt embarrassed about having my body exposed, but I covered up out of respect for those around me in public places. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, and with my bebe au lait it was not difficult at all to comfortably cover and nurse. there are lots of parents who don't want their kids to see it. I don't happen to agree with that line of thinking, but I figure if I"m out in public I ought to try and keep the peace. Of course if I didn't have my cover I just whipped 'em out and did what I had to do. I'm a huge bf'ing advocate and believe women ought to be allowed to bf in public, covered or exposed, without penalty. Doesn't bother me at all.

Bebe au Lait. I loved their covers and I didn't care if it screamed "NURSING HERE" as long as no one could see my body. My sister is also planning on using those covers. Once, when DD was 4 mo. old I was at a company party for our families and ran out of pumped milk. I decided then and there to get over myself, took out my cover and made a point to look every coworker in the eye while I nursed my baby.

I have friends who don't cover and that's fine. What annoys me more is the women who think they have to go way far the other end and hang out nearly shirtless as if to dare people to look or comment.

When I see another mom nursing her kid, I think, "Good for them". One of the best compliments I ever got was when I was looking for a new bra for my nursing-accessible dress for a wedding and had DD in the stroller. The cashier realized I was still nursing DD (who was about 1) and said, "Good for you!"

I use a cover for very public places like restaurants and so on. When I'm somewhere like a children's museum or the beach on a weekday and almost everyone around are moms and small children, I generally don't use the cover. Having 3 kids, I can't just stay home with the baby, it's not fair to the 2 other kids. When I'm with my hubby and kids, obviously I don't use a cover and very often BF at the dinner table.
When I see a woman BFing I think "good for her and good for her baby". It makes me smile. I do not care one bit if they use covers or not. Honestly, I only use a cover so as not to make anyone else uncomfortable. I am personally comfortable either way.

I did not breast feed in public. I am very busty and felt uncomfortable. Blankets never seemed to stay put. If they had had the covers like they have now with the collers that keep them in place I may have had better luck. My boys got bottles when we were out. I don't have an issue with other woman feeding in public, but I do consider it polite to cover up. I know it is a natural thing, but my sons don't need to see your boobs! As long as a woman is modest in what she is doing then I would probably not even notice.

I fed em and didn't care! I wasn't hangin out flashing people but I would lift my shirt or unbotton if I had to......I used to carry my youngest daughter around in her baby backpack nursing her! Its natural and babies had to eat!

I tend to breastfeed "modestly". I don't want to have to deal with nasty looks or comments... and so a light blanket or a sling seems to save me the hassle. I think women who are willing to bold nurse cover-free are so brave!

That said, It depends on where I am, and what company I am with. If I am in a restaurant or at the park I am pretty discreet... but if I am in my car I will nurse with a cover, but I don't sweat it if I flash for a second or two getting "situated". Also, I don't use a cover at home... even if people are around... I will put a hand over my breast (or a blanket or burp cloth) if my father in law happens to walk by (we rent from our in laws, so it happens often enough)- but it is not something I worry too much about!

I don't mind seeing other women breastfeed. It is what we are made to do, and it is as natural as breathing (but not as easy). I think it is beautiful and I wish that women didn't have to worry about "covering up". That said, I am just not passionate enough about it to fight the fight every time my baby is hungry in public. Personally I want to high-five every woman I see breastfeeding... it is not always so easy!!!

I do wish more public places had quiet rooms (not the bathroom - yuck!) to go nurse in. A mall in a nearby city has a "mother's lounge" equipped with couches and a changing table and it is so nice to have a place to go, where you don't have to cover up or get nasty looks while you nurse! Plus, it is quiet and comfortable! I will nurse on demand whenever I need to and wherever I happen to be, but if I have the option of a mother's lounge that is just great!

-M.

I think it is important to be covered, and it is not difficult to do. If my mom could sit in church with 4 kids and nurse a baby and remain covered, and keep us in line the whole time, I think it can be done. There are such useful drapes now, like UdderCovers, so there is really no excuse.

Plus, I am sure there are lots of pervs out there who LOVE to watch un-covered BFing moms feeding their kids.

I was a whenever nurser. I did my best to keep things covered, but rarely used a blanket unless it was cold out. I am happy to see that more and more mom's in our area are nursing in public (with and without cover). Many use a "hooter hider" or "udder cover" or whatever they call them. I think that's fine. I never felt the need to cover up.... I never had anyone question me or look at me nasty.

I even nursed at my eye doctors during an exam once with my 6 week old baby.. it was nurse her or delay the appointment or listen to her scream. He was a Dad and totally fine with it.

I think after the initial 4 or 5 weeks with my first I was practiced enough at it to just do it and not worry about the rest of the world. I exclusively nursed all 3 of mine (I couldn't ever get them to take bottles).

J.

I don't think covering up is necessary. I had a friend who breastfed her son everywhere. The amount of breast actually visible was minimal. The only way you could tell she was breastfeeding was if you were staring at her like a pervert would. I think women should be confident and feel free to breastfeed anywhere they need to do it. A breast is a vehicle for milk. It's not an object of sexual desire (exclusively). I think women should have the right to go topless- like men do. I've been much more offended by fat hairy man showing off their moobies than I have been by a woman discretely breastfeeding her child.

My babies had this habit of pulling off and ripping the blanket off at the same time, really exposing me. So I got rid of the blanket, and didn't have nearly as much of an issue with them exposing me! I basically BFed everywhere. I did try to keep it inconspicuous, but I'm sure I wasn't always successful.
But really, if it offends someone, they can find something else to look at!

With my first, I pretty much nursed wherever, whenever. I wasn't going around completely topless, but I didn't have a nursing cover either. With my second, I actually cover(ed) up a lot more. I think it was because I didn't really go anywhere with my first when nursing was harder and I had to be exposed for longer as I was trying to get him to latch, etc. By the time nursing in public became an issue with him, he was old enough for me to be able to get him on quickly and discreetly.

With the second, I was out and about from the beginning trying to keep my oldest occupied, so I was a lot more conscious of having my breast just hanging out while I tried to get her to latch properly.

But I really don't care one way or the other whether people cover up. I have seen so many boobs and nipples in the last four and a half years from all my friends who have had babies, I hardly notice anymore.

I've walked through Kohl's with my son nursing. Gotta do what ya gotta do, he needed to eat, and I needed to get checked out and get home. For me it depended on who and where. Strangers, who cares what they think. At my mom's everyone seemed to find it a little odd, so I went in another room, but never hid, generally just the living room or kitchen depending on where people were, and of course I kept covered. With my dad and that side of the family, I've nursed at the table while we talked and ate dinner. Although I drew the line sitting next to my dad on the couch nursing my son. That I found odd. lol. With my husband and older kids, I never even pretended to have any modesty, bugged my big boys a little but also kept them from pestering me while I fed the baby ;)

I was very uncomfortable! To me, keeping covered up is very important! When I see others breastfeeding in public, if they are doing it responsibly and are covered, I don't think anything of it, unless of course the child can walk, then I think they are too big and it is way wrong! I never understood or agreed with extended breastfeeding, but that's just me and my opinion!

I cover up to make others around me less uncomfortable, not for my own comfort. I don't use lounges, because too often they're kind-of gross, so I use an Udder Cover and nurse wherever I am. I refuse to go into another room and hide while nursing, like I'm doing something wrong, but because some people are uncomfortable when you just whip out a boob, I use a cover and nurse out in the open.

I hate covering up when nursing!! What a pain for the baby and for me, and I hate hiding it - it's such a beautiful thing. I continue to be shocked and dismayed when I read that people get feedback (negative) when they breastfeed. I'd love to have someone say something negative to me when I do it - I would give them an earful right back!! Well maybe not, but one can dream. Anyway my in-laws are from the south, and at one point my father in law asked me if I needed his help covering up. I was like, "well no, it's 85 degrees outside and I would like some air!!" I just said no, and turned away. Usually I have on clothes that cover most up... but when it's so darn hot like it has been this summer, the last thing I want to deal with it another layer of fabric.
When I see someone nursing, I think it's beautiful, and I look away to give her privacy with her baby. It's a special time, every time.
I am not uncomfortable with it, and wish that everyone were totally comfortable with it too!!

I was always a little uncomfortable nursing in public but still did it. The reason for being uncomfortable was because I had an overactive letdown w/ both my kids and so nursing could be a bit messy. If we had company which was usually family, my attitude was just "why should I have to leave the room?". If it makes someone uncomfortable, I guess that's their problem. I always nursed covered up so it's not like I was exposing anything.

When I see a woman nursing in public, I always think "good for her!". I'm always a bit jealous at how relaxed and comfortable they look doing it, my babies were always so active while nursing...but that was due to the heavy milk flow. I do think that there needs to be some respect for others when nursing public...and so yes, I think it's best to use a nursing cover. BUT, if I see a woman doing otherwise, I'm not offended in the least!!

I wore a t-shirt and it was easy to pull up the side, undo the nursing bra, and get a good latch. I would try to do it quickly in public, and never noticed anyone that picked up on it. While latched, my son wold cover up the breast anyway.

As far as seeing other women nursing, I love it! It is the most natural thing in the world and wish more women were comfortable doing it. I even approached a lady in the library and thanked her for being bold enough to do the right thing (IMHO) for her baby, even if others were uncomfortable. What bothers me is when I see the baby is obviously nursing and the mama has baby's face covered in what looks like a hot blanket. I am sure it is difficult to breathe under there!!

Have to put this out there... Moms, you have the LEGAL RIGHT to breastfeed your baby ANYWHERE in public that you and baby are legally present in the United States. Period!!! No exceptions!!! That right is absolute on all public property (court buildings, public parks, PUBLIC SCHOOLS, etc etc etc). In Arizona that right extends to all places of "public accomodation," which is pretty much everywhere except a private club or private residence.

That said, I will admit that I am not totally comfortable with my boobs being public domain. I think that the vast majority of women don't really love the girls hanging out. We do what we have to do for our babies. For me, that often includes uncovered nursing of a squirmy 9 month old who hates anything on his face. Sigh. If I had to show them in public, why couldn't it have been the pre-baby goods?...lol...

I wore button down shirts and nursing bras and was able to nurse fairly discreetly, and still caught shite from people about it.
Personally, I don't care if a woman whips off her top to nurse.

When out in public, I either find an out of the way spot to nurse if possible or wherever I can sit down. I prefer to have a nursing cover though I usually use it more as a shield if in a private corner, that way I don't have to completely cover baby so she is not hot. Wish I was comfortable enough to not cover but that's just not the case for me, being raised in a prudish family. I don't show cleavage either, lol. I don't have any problem with others doing so, however, so long as they are discreet and not doing what the one poster mentioned. That's a bit over the top.

Intersting that this ? was posted today! I nurse wherever and try to be discreet, but I was at lunch today and nursed at the table and did NOT anticipate the reaction I received from another very disapproving woman. She was very angry about it...so much so she cussed at me on her way out! So crazy. I was very discreet, she had to be looking to notice, it was a cheap pizza buffet place. Totally surprised by this, but I will not change.

I nursed my babies anytime, anywhere. I never used a coverup. I really felt that wrestling with a coverup and a squirmy baby made me more of a spectacle than just lifting up a T-shirt. My kids latched quickly and focused on nursing. Unless someone was looking at me during the 2 seconds of latch/unlatch, they tended to assume I was just snuggling my sleeping baby in my arms. Of course, I had very focused nursers. If I had an on-again-off-again kind of nurser, I'd probably go for a coverup.

For me, I cover because of my own body issues but I don't care if another mom is covered or not covered. It's not sexual feeding your child and if anyone is uncomfortable seeing it then i think they should leave or plain just not look. Breastfeeding is a natural thing! As for the ones worried about their kids seeing then explain to them what that mother is doing. Not that hard! At one time in their life they will come across it and don't make it a thing that needs to be shamed. There is more boobs and they are the ones being sexualized for one reason or another in the media- worry about that if you must! I never hide anywhere to do it either and won't with this baby when born. Why should I (?) and I was and won't be uncomfortable doing it in the presence of others either.!

I breastfed uncovered, but that didn't mean I flashed anyone. It's hot here and I'm always hot even in 75 degree weather... so I wasn't about to swelter simply for another's sensitivities to a normal situation.

When I see other Mom's nursing, I usually step over and say it's great to see other Mom's nursing, and ask if they'd like me to be a 'wall' - which means sit looking out to somewhat protect them from harassing eyes and stares.

I was comfortable as Long as I had a blanky to cover up most of us up.

However, you would not believe how many times I was told to go elsewhere to feed even tho I was covered!

I did not read the other posts, but for me, it has always been a necessity thing. I don't formula feed my children so I breastfeed. Hubby uses pumped milk when I am not around.

I think for me discretion has always been key (which I guess could be interpreted as modesty). I try to find or request an out-of-the-way, corner type booth to sit in at restuarants. I sit along one of those "side arms" when at the mall. I have used a changing room - never a restroom. I have sat in the front seat of my Pilot before going in somewhere if I know we are getting close to a feeding.

I have generally given up on the nursing shawl, especially in this 100 degree weather NJ/NY is currently experiencing. The baby fusses and pulls at it and makes a much larger scene than if we get down to business and just do it. I try not to flash the whole world in the process and try to keep the non-nursing side down and covered.

My two cents.
Thanks.
~C.

I always cover up. I don't want anyone to see my boobies :-)
However I will nurse my baby freely and at any time I need to. I remain covered but not in hiding. Don't worry about what other people think. It is natural to breast feed a baby. My Mom in Law always ask why I just don't give her a bottle!!!! Because I have built in healthy milk for her for free and its my right as a mother and my childs right to eat. Good luck!!!!

I personally did not feel comfortable nursing in public. As for it being a normal, natural thing, I absolutely agree (still going at 20mos!) but there are other things that are "normal and natural" bodily functions that have no place in public, so I don't think that's a good argument for it.

Knowing that men are so visual (whether we're wearing clothes or not) is a main reason I didn't, plus I never felt comfortable when women would nurse in mixed company - neither did the men - so I would want to be considerate of that. If it is all women in the room I see no problem.

There was always something special to me about nursing being an intimate thing between me and my son and I think it deserves that respect. For the best of both worlds, I would always pump and take the milk in bottles when we would go out and pump in the car if need be. It was a bit inconvenient, but I never made myself or anyone else uncomfortable and my baby still had 100% breast milk, so I didn't mind.

ETA: I should mention that for the duration of our nursing, I've had to use a nipple shield, so logistically it made things much harder than "lift and nurse" not to mention it was nearly impossible to be discreet when I had to fumble with getting that out, holding DS, etc!

I didn't breastfeed. However, I have known plenty of people who did/do. I don't care if people are breastfeeding, I mean the baby has to eat!! It didn't seem that hard for them to mostly cover the breast. Most didn't use a cover. The baby covers much, and the nursing top generally covers the rest. (Even my large busted friend.) Sometimes, they'd just throw a light blanket over them, but leaving the baby's face uncovered. If I nursed, I would not in public. Ever. The baby would have to take a bottle. I am just not comfortable with that. I know I will probably get blasted for saying this, but I HATE the way breastfeeding sounds. It really grosses me out. (It would have as well, if it were a bottle fed baby making the noise. I never noticed it with bottles, though.) I generally tried to make myself busy somewhere else, in case the mother felt like feeding alone, and so I didn't have to listen to it.

I will say, I did see something recently that was ridiculous. A woman's baby (I'm guessing he was right at one year.) was fussing. She just sat there with her breasts hanging out fully exposed, and said if he needed to, that he could nurse. She sat there with them hanging out for 20 minutes offering them to him!! Ummm, if they aren't actually being used, then they don't need to be flopping out like that!! He wasn't even interested and she's just sitting there with her shirt pulled up, fully aware they were exposed. UGH. It was disgusting.

I cover up in public, but like other ladies have said, mainly to ease other peoples' discomfort. Frankly, I have one of the Cover things and it is still annoying to use. It is so much easier to just whip out the boob and let my little guy eat and not have to try and cover up. I think when my son gets a little older and can latch on more quickly and more by himself (he is only 8 weeks) I may not cover as much. Who knows, we'll see what happens :) Good topic!

I was completely comfortable nursing at, say, a park bench, or at the mall. Personally, I don't think there is much to see. I had on double tops, so that when I lifted my shirt, my tummy and back were covered. Baby's head seems to cover the rest. I felt like someone would have to look pretty carefully to know I was nursing. Of course, baby would occasionally stop nursing, unlatch and give me a big milky smile. Those times, I wouldn't have cared if it was a construction site. Actually, I was probably MORE comfortable nursing in front of strangers than, say, a brother-in-law. And this is, of course, once baby and I had BFing mastered. The initial stages are a greater challenge and for me involved milk spraying all over.

I, personally, was fairly uncomfortable nursing in public with strangers all around. I went to some ridiculous lengths in order not to. I guess it was partially because we had such a hard time starting nursing - distractions were *not* fun when trying to get the boy to eat; and part of it was my own modesty issues. When at home (with friends, close or not) I just didn't worry too much. I tried to make sure I was decent, but they were in my home so.... ;)
On the other hand, I completely support (and applaud) women who BF in public! Power to them! Coming from a non-BF family, this is the only way people can see that it isn't unusual - it's quite beautiful in it's own way!

Personally, when I nursed in front of people or in public I used a Bebe au Lait nursing cover. But seeing other people nursing in public without covering up does not bother me. I think it's wonderful that moms breastfeed in the first place.

My daughter is 14months- I still bf. I cover myself and feed her. I don't feed her as much as before but if she's hungry and we're out then I'll feed her.

I'm not uncomfortable- The babies need to eat too.

When I see other bf mothers I just smile & think been there; still breastfeeding :)

People say it's a natural thing and should not have to be hidden but a man peeing is also a natural thing and I don't want to see it, it's a private area that is not meant for public (at least the cultural norm in the US). I never breastfed but I did pump every few hours and it's a big pain to try to find a private place to do it all the time but was reality for the time I pumped. At least if you breastfeed you can just cover them up till they are old enough to start pulling the cover away. People may not want to be uncomforable but feel that way anyway and I think it's being courteous to other's to think about them and not just yourself.

Most public situations I found myself in I wasn't uncomfortable nursing. I could usually find a quieter spot off to the side (malls, big chain stores usually have benches scattered around) and nurse. I nursed in my seat at church as long as the baby wasn't distracted by everything, then I took it into the nursery. I nursed at my table in restaurants. When I nursed my second and my first was newly 2, I would find a confind space like going back to the car or a dressing room so the older couldn't get into too much trouble while I bf. I never had problems nursing in others homes, pretty much everyone knew I nursed and was supportive. I never could throw a blanket or wrap over me and the baby, the kids just didn't like it. I wore tank tops under everything and would lift my shirt, pop out boob, latch on, and arrange the shirt to cover the top of my boob while the tank top covered my belly. That was very comfortable for me, and any skin one might see would be at latch on and pull off, very quick and I personally think any adult in their right mind would politely look away :) I have never been harassed in public and never felt other moms nursing in public were inappropriate, no matter how little or much they might be "covered".

I was able to nurse discreetly and never had a problem in public. I've never noticed anyone breastfeeding. No biggie to me either way. =)

I made a good faith effort to be modest in public as a courtesy to others, but I always considered it my baby's right to be fed when hungry, and my right to do it without being criticized for it. I used a Hooter Hider, which worked about as well as something like that can. And if someone watched me so closely as to get a glimpse of skin, I figured that's their problem. People who are uncomfortable can avert their eyes. It was a little embarrassing if baby was making really loud slurping or grunting noises though. I was a little uncomfortable around certain people, but I made an effort to find out of the way spots, and just tried to relax and not worry about other people so much. When I see a woman nursing in public I think it's great that she's nursing, and I try to make things easy for her if I can, or just leave her alone so she can focus on her baby. Nursing a baby is a big job and I wish people would give moms a break. Good luck!