M.M.
Oh boy.
***sitting back waiting for the circus to start***
This is never a question that goes without several very judgmental people on either side responding to.
I have no real reason for asking this, as I am not breastfeeding, nor am I pregnant! I was just reading the recent question about nursing shirts, and got to remembering when I was nursing...
I am wondering how you all feel/felt about nursing in front of people. Do you whip it out and nurse wherever/whenever? Do you need complete privacy? Are there people you openly nurse in front of and others you feel you need to cover up for? And nursing in public, do you? Do you go to a private area? Do you openly nurse in public?
For me, if I was at home, I'd pretty much just nurse openly around close family, particularly the women. If a man was present (minus my son's father, of course), I'd try to stay covered up, but my son never liked anything over him, so I'd just shield as much as I could by positioning my son in front of me, and pulling my shirt to cover as much as possible. But it was not uncommon in the summer, while enjoying our pool, to sit on the porch swing, and pull my swim suit top over, and let him nurse! In public, like at a mall or something, I'd usually sit on a bench, in a less populated area, and try to stay pretty covered, but I would nurse in public. And like many of you have said, I NEVER fed him in a bathroom. So gross and unhealthy.
How about you? Just curious.
What circus? This is purely a curiosity question. No judgment whatsoever. To each his own. I was totally just wondering what other people do.
Mum4ever - So funny you mention that about the zoo animals! I was at a petting zoo with my son when he was little, but I was no longer nursing. I had his sippee in the side pocket of my bag, and the nosey goats were trying to get at it, when another mother called it to my attention... she said they'd take it right out of there... she told me that one time while she was still breastfeeding, she was at a petting zoo, and a baby goat (a kid, but I didn't want to say *kid* and be mistaken for a human child! - lol) came right up to her and latched onto her breast through her shirt!!! She was shocked! She said it was pretty hard to get it off, too! They do have a keen sense of smell, don't they? A little off topic, but an interesting story!
Oh boy.
***sitting back waiting for the circus to start***
This is never a question that goes without several very judgmental people on either side responding to.
I am all for breast feeding. I think it is the healthiest, best thing for baby if you and baby are both comfortable and able to do it. I have no problem with women breastfeeding in public either. I don't think, however, that you should just let yourself hang out there. Be discrete. Yes, it's natural. So is pooping. I'm not gonna drop trou and take a dump in the middle of the grocery store simply because "it's natural".
I feel like breasts are private parts - I mean they get covered at the beach right? So although I am a HUGE BF'ing proponent, I still think it's courteous to cover up. Now that doesn't mean a huge shawl and being stuck in the corner, I mean my kid has as much right to eat in a restaurant as anyone else, but I don't just "whip it out" because it's "all natural".
For the most part if and when I nursed in public I did have a breastfeeding cover that was lightweight and provided privacy.
I do not want to see anyone's boobs, body fat, etc. and think letting it all hang out is rude and insensitive to other people. BTW - that goes for Speedos and thong bathing suits too! LOL
There were several times I had to nurse in public as I had no other option (a bench is much cleaner than a public bathroom). I used a blanket and was always discreet, and most people paid no attention. I nursed more openly around friends/family, but still used a blanket.
I have a friend who nurses very openly in public. She lets her entire breast hang out and leaves it out for several minutes... even after baby is done nursing. Once she was at our home and remained virtually topless with her shirt pulled up for almost 20 minutes while her baby crawled around on the floor, it was so awkward my husband and children left the room.
So, while I am okay with the need to nurse publicly, I do believe there is a line, really though, it's sad that others would take offense to a feeding child.
(I agree with another mom, this is in regards to infants.. .nursing toddlers can wait till you get home.)
I am not a bf-er and I don't have any problem with those who choose to bf.
That being said...there's a difference between nursing your child in public and nursing your child in public just to make a point.
Your infant who is 1 year old or younger needs your breastmilk for nutrition. They eat frequently. They should have access to their food. No problem.
Your child who is 3 years old does not need to walk up to you in public, lift up your shirt, and start nursing. It is not a nutritional necessity; it is a comfort issue. That's bothersome to me.
You have to feed your baby, but you whip out the entire breast and expose the entire thing for extended periods of time. Sorry, but when you do this you aren't just doing this to feed your child; you're doing it to get a reaction and rise out of people. I have a problem with this - like I did with the woman who sat in Stride Rite with wide open, unbuttoned blouse, both breasts out for a minimum of 3 minutes. Unacceptable. You don't need to unbutton everything, you know you're a nursing mom and you probably have nursing tops/bras that can assist you in being discreet yet still feed your baby, you certainly don't need both of the girls exposed, and definitely not for that long of a period of time. I fully realize that very few women go to this extreme, but it is women like this that make it hard for those of you who can be respectful with the necessary act of feeding your child.
Whatever you do in your own house, backyard, your property is totally your business.
I would nurse in public at the beginning, i had a special crocheted blanket that i would interweave through my bra straps and id perch her on my arm. Nobody would ever see my nipple, and most of the time no one realized what i was doing. If there ever was a dressing room, or nursing room (rare) available id take it, but otherwise id do it discreetly. I didnt nurse in bathrooms, i dont want my daughter to eat around people doing that, with those smells and sounds, thats not what nursing is supposed to be like. At my own home i would expose my breasts when only women were around, im not shy about my boobs being out around people who have them also and are not attracted to breasts sexually(besides my husband, who of course saw me do this). If my husbands friends were over i would use a blanket to cover her.
the easiest times to breasfeed in the beginning was the beach and the pool, the bathing suit top and a towel make for a perfect system. I only got a rude look once, at an aquarium diner this mother looked at me in horror, and removed her children from my line of view, i looked at her right back in horror, she deserved it (i wasnt even showing anything)
furthermore id like to put a big "shame on you" to those women who jeer and complain at breastfeeding mothers. breastfeeding is a natural, god given right, and is the best thing for the baby. A new baby needs to eat on cue, that might mean in public, a new moms job is hard enough without people judging her for her, actually quite wonderful and difficult, decision.
I could never live with myself knowing that my bad behavior was contributing to depriving an infants very needed meal, or playing a part in a new moms decision to bottle feed.
I nursed my infant thru toddlerhood in public. I am always as discreet as possible, but wouldn't put modesty above feeding my child if it came to that. I've had ppl verbally attack me while nursing, physically flinch, ppl ask me to leave, etc. Whenever I see a nursing Mother, I will ALWAYS go up to her and say what a great job she's doing and would she want some support (as in me sitting between her and most of the wandering eyes).
I've also participated in 3 Nurse-Ins... it is important to show the public that breasts are not men's playthings, but functional pieces of Motherhood and child-rearing. Americans easily forget this aspect of our mammary glands and are ok with thong bikinis, coochie showing skirts and cleavage busting out - but not allowing a Mother to peacefully breastfeed her child.
Wow, I think it's great you were so comfortable nursing.
I have inverted nipples and extremely large breasts, so nursing required a lot of support latching on and staying on. So the first few months were just a lot of learning between me and baby.
Once we both figured out what position seemed to go the easiest, which was always just the basic cradle position, and my nipples came out on que, and the milk was established, and I wasn't clogged, I started to nurse more confidently in public.
I tried several of those nursing shirts and even a couple of dresses, only b/c they were gifts. I did not care for them. The most comfortable was just a cotton stretchy top that could be easily lifted, nursing bra flap let down, latch baby on quickly enough so I'm not sitting exposed for too long, then I could sit back and relax, even in restaurants.
The culture most turned off by my nursing in public is by far the middle eastern culture. We were at one Persian restaurant and they would not even come near our table until I was done. They were clearly disapproving of my public nursing.
And the most comforting of all creatures to me while I was nursing, were the Zoo animals. I've had more zoo animals come and nuzzle me gently and just stand as close as possible to me and calm down while nursing at the zoo. It does make me wonder how strong those pheromones are.
When I was pregnant, I was sooo determined to BF my son exclusively. But... after my son was born, I didn't have the 'support system' to do that. My husband and family were VERY supportive of my decision, but my son wasn't latching right and it just got to the point where I felt like I was starving him by continuing to push and push for him to only BF (even though that probably wasn't what was happening, I still had that worry). I ended up transitioning him to a bottle and would pump + supplement with formula.
I had no problem TRYING to BF in public though.. I wasn't showing off the girls or anything when nursing, but I would keep covered just because some teen boys or old men would always seem to just stare (waiting to possibly see something, perhaps?)... LOL!
The one thing I absolutely HATED was when people would make comments about how I should be doing that in the bathroom. Seriously? How would you like it if we told YOU to go eat your dinner (or breakfast or lunch) in the bathroom? I certainly don't want to hear someone in the next stall over straining and grunting trying to poop while I'm trying to have a bonding experience with my son! LOL.
If my hubby and I have another baby, I will definitely try BF'ing again. Especially now that I know a lot more that is out there to utilize as BF support.
I love some of the responses that were posted!
I had one pat response for those that didn't want me nursing in front of them, in public or private, "Put a blanket over YOUR head if you don't want to see it." My kids hated having their heads covered while nursing, I pulled up my shirt enough to feed them and nursed.
I have no patience for those who are "grossed out" by it, or think I should cover the baby completely or that it was something to only be done in private. I was feeding my baby and if someone didn't like it, that was their problem. And god help you if you told me to feed in a bathroom. I didn't care if you were a man or a women, I was not going to give in to your silliness. How hard is it to turn away from something you don't want to look at? I legally had the right to nurse anywhere my baby and I were allowed to be, and I ignored anyone who claimed otherwise. I simply didn't care if it made them uncomfortable.
I was a whip-it-out gal myself. I mean, not to the point of having my breast fully exposed in public, but yeah, I'd raise up whichever daughter I was nursing, lift up my shirt, attach the kid and then relax. The shirt would often cover anything I didn't want anyone else to be seeing.
For anyone else that would be offended that I dare do this outside of a shuttered home.... f**k em!
Cheers!
E.
To be totally honest...and honestly I feel almost like a hypocrite for saying this. I consider myself a breastfeeding advocate and feel strongly that women should never be judged should they decide to breastfeed without covering up in public. It really is true that in many other countries women pull it all out to breastfeed and no one bats an eye. It really is so refreshing to see women feel so comfortable with doing something so natural.
But....yikes, I hate to say this! When I had my child and I breastfed him, I felt extremely uncomfortable breastfeeding in public. I tried to get over it but never did. People really do stare and make you feel like you are doing something inappropriate and I just did not want to deal with it all. I wish I did not feel that way, but was not ready to fight that battle at the time.
Now that I am expecting my second, I plan to be more brave about the whole thing. I wish I could exude that "I don't care what you think" attitude but wasn't ready. Maybe this time I will feel differently.
I can't believe that someone seriously compared breatfeeding to pooping.
I think its great to BF but I don't care to see other women's breasts in public no matter how natural BF is. Really ladies come on. You would no less pull up your tops to scratch or get cool air if you're hot let alone get caught not wearing a bra. I think its great now that many businesses have created mother's rooms for comfort and privacy especially since being in public creates unsanitary conditions while feeding bottle or breast.
With Baby #1 - I hid in corners of malls, awkwardly smothered in blankets and wrappings, trying to be discreet.
By Baby #3 - I stood in any line anywhere, and shoved baby under my shirt with one hand, while the other hand rummaged in my purse or took care of whatever business I was attending to at that moment. I remember nursing my youngest while standing in line at Disneyland. I didn't have time or energy for nonsense.
Surprisingly, I NEVER received any comments about it -- maybe I was just oblivious to people around me. The only person who ever objected once was my own mother, who is an odd mix of iconoclasm and prudishness.
But really, if people don't want to see it they don't have to look. You would have had to stare pretty deliberately to get even a glimpse of my breasts when I was nursing. Breasts are made for feeding children. It is Western culture that has perverted the breast into a sex object.
It has never bothered me when woman feed in public, but I do feel they should try to stay covered up since there are other people about, out of respect. I only breast fed in private though, I just never felt comfortable doing in around others (minus my hubby of course). When we were out and about we used bottles of formula.
I CANNOT believe the women who are offended by breastfeeding. It is the most natural thing in the world. Telling a woman that she needs to pump in order to give her baby a bottle in public is ridiculous. When a baby begins to cry you have no control over the milk that begins to lactate from your breast. The body naturally begins to excrete the milk just because the baby is there.
I have twins and I breastfed them discreetly. If I was home alone with the girls then yes of course I just whipped it out, but if there was anyone else present- parents, sister, friends- I always covered up.
I remember one time I was at the library and I was p.o.'ed at the librarian. I was sitting at the computer and nursing with the blanket over myself and the baby and she told me that I needed to go to the restroom. She told me that a man complained because his young son (5-6) was present.
I am coming up on nursing - round 3! I am usually not shy about nursing; however, I try to be discrete. I think there is a huge difference between "whipping it out" and actually tending to the needs of the child by trying to keep a cover on or pull a shirt downto expose less skin or taking into account traffic flow in a mall, etc.
The best moment I had nursing was actually with my son last summer when we went to the circus. I had forgotten my cover (which my son usually fussed under anyway) and the options were nurse or leave - which really wasn't an option - so I lifted up my shirt, undid the bra and let him latch. He got busy pretty quickly and I remember being a bit nervous sitting in the stands doing this and I was praying that I was being as discrete as I thought we were when hubby leaned over and put his arm around both of us as he watch our daughter in the seats one step down from all of us. I got a little squeeze from him and knew right away that I was doing just fine and if /anyone/ said anything, they were going to get a bit more than they bargained for... I had never felt so strong and empowered when it came to nursing as I did that day!
Great post! Thanks!
I'm like you. I'm very free with it at home - I don't really care who is there, it is m house. In public, I attempt to be discreet or feed in a less populated area if possible, but I would never go to a bathroom/car/dark corner etc. If I was somewhere very populated with older (non toddler) children - like a playground or pool, I would then use a blanket or nursing cover.
I think women should stop feeding their infants in public. In my opinion it is disrespectful to other people. There are places to feed them in privet or use a bottle in public, or at least use a blanket to cover your breasts.
I had a baby and I did not had to feed him in public!!!
I have 3 children that I have been nursing in succession for nearly 10 years. I don't care where I am, if they need/want to nurse then that's what we do. I lift my shirt from the bottom to expose enough of the one breast they are going to be fed with, unlatch the nursing cup of my bra and feed them. 99% of the time people don't even realize I'm breastfeeding my child.
With my first I got shamed into thinking I needed to hide in a corner and cover up from neck to knees when I was nursing around anyone. My son used to get so angry at a blanket covering him that he would scream himself into a sweat and turn beat red and tear at the blanket like it was taking his life away! I stopped trying to cover him with anything within the first week I think. I just got good at keeping whatever didn't need to be flashing covered.
I do try to not sit next to the grumpy looking old man and I turn myself so my back is slightly away from the crowd if I can or I put the stroller in front of me. But honestly that's more to keep my little ones from getting distracted and somewhere to rest my foot and because I don't see a need to be rude on purpose.
If you don't want to see someone breastfeeding then DON'T LOOK!! Me as the Breastfeeding Mother is not the rude one, you are for staring at me when it's none of your business to be staring at me! It's easier for you to look away then it is to explain to my hungry, tired, upset etc child that no I can't nurse you right now because that person over there doesn't like it.
Funny story with my 3rd...we were at Disneyland bringing in the New Year this year. She was a few days away from 19 months. With all the crowds it's next to impossible to find somewhere to sit. It was really cold and I was having asthma issues so we decided to go to the Baby Center where they have a nice quiet area for mothers to breastfeed their children. I sat down and had some water to drink. She nursed for a few minutes but was quickly more interested in the wall paper and the other babies in the same room. She even managed to slide off my lap and started walking up to one loudly and happily going "baaaaaby" on her way there pointing. We stayed a little longer (outside of the nursing area) to take in the warm air but she wasn't going to really nurse. A short bit later, right after we made a bathroom run, I found somewhere in the cold and noise and crowds and she happily nursed like nothing was going on around her. The Nursing room was too isolated and quiet for her!
The sexualization of breastfeeding a child is appalling! It needs to end.
I BF'd my son till he was 2.5 years old, and when he was young, I fed him when and where he needed to be fed. Modesty was the key - didn't want to "flash" anybody, but my son's needs were priority. No one ever had a problem with it (vocally, anyway :) Once you get the hang of it, you can pretty much keep covered up without a blanket over the kiddo's face. And I never BF'd in a bathroom - gross!
There are a few generations in America that are very uncomfortable with breastfeeding - post WW1 I believe. Powdered milk, then formula was invented around that time and the belief was that formula was better than breastmilk. So a few generations of women didn't BF - it stopped being considered "natural". Thank goodness, that feeling is disappearing. I have NO problem with formula - it's necessary cause some people just CAN'T breastfeed. I'd just rather BF first.
Though I didn't breastfeed (wanted to but was unable due to serious health reasons), I totally support bfing...even in public. I have no problem with it being done in public. Whenever I see a mother nursing I just smile and move on. Until just last month. My family and I were sitting in the mall food court eating lunch. I noticed a woman nursing her son a couple of tables over. She was not covered up, but you couldn't see much anyways so it didn't bother me. Until she went to burp the baby. She left her breast hanging out as she proceeded to burp her child for a good 10 minutes. Literally it was hanging out there swaying in the wind. I couldn't believe it. Finally a mall employee came over and told her to please cover up or use the designated family room. Needless to say the woman became very upset and made a big ruckus. It was a very memorable moment!! :)
I only person I am comfortable nursing in front of is my SO. I live with my in-laws, and when I feed my DD I take her to the bedroom and nurse her there. They don't 'make' me (though I'm not sure how comfortable they would be if I just whipped it out and started nursing in front of them. lol), but I do it for my own comfort. When I HAVE to feed her in a public place, I will usually sit in the backseat of our Yucon (tinted windows, but if it's a fairly busy place I will roll the window up over a blanket to give myself more privacy.) At the mall or somewhere like that, I will find a dressing room and nurse her there. If we are outdoors but not convenient to the car, I just find the most secluded space available and stay as covered as possible. I don't have a problem with people nursing in public, (Unless, like M R says, they are purposely trying to get a rise out of people) but I am just too private of a person. :)
I BF my daughter for about 6 weeks. Most of which I was at home. I don't remember being in public too much to really have to figure out what I was going to do. I do remember sitting in the car for it a few times.
I think it should be considered normal for women to BF in public. Maybe not hanging all out for all to see.. lol but people shouldn't have a problem with it if women choose to do so in public.
I don't know that I would have BF in public though. Not because I think it's wrong or anything, but just because I am shy haha Maybe if I had BF longer I would have been more relaxed about it. Probably would still try to cover with a blanket as much as possible.
I like the "Put a blanket over YOUR head if you don't want to see it." response! LOL But could also say "Put a blanket over YOUR head while you are eating." hehe
Love this post. I nursed my two for 3 1/2 and 3 years respectively, and sometimes had to nurse outside the home. Not really a problem, always tried to be relatively discrete. Only instances when someone was offended was when I went to nurse at my daughter's baby shower (she was born 3 weeks early) and my cousin flipped out and ran away. And this was in my back yard. Sheesh. The other instance was when the teenage daughter of a good friend freaked out and asked her mother to ask me to stop nursing in public. I was pissed. This was at a weekend-long belly dance workshop; you'd think with it being a women-only event, noone would freak out. Turns out the girl was just coming to terms with her sexual leanings...towards other girls. So there are sometimes unusual triggers for public discomfort...
Maybe you'll enjoy these stories:
Story #1 While visiting Epcot, my 11mo son got hungry so I sat down on a bench in a relatively empty area of one of the pavilions. After some time, an older gentleman sat down next to me and started to chat me up. Eventually, his wife and grown daughter exited the gift shop and collected him. I don't think he had a clue that I was nursing my son. Maybe his wife and daughter let him know.
Story #2 On a flight from CA to our expat home in England, we shared the first class cabin with the pilot's wife and infant son and one other young lady who was flying with her infant son (4 months). We watched in admiration as she fussed and tended to her baby. That baby never let out a cry! She nursed him as well, wearing an easy-access plain white tee (g*d I envied her perky milk-producing boobs!). We went over to introduce ourselves and commend her on her mothering skills. We truly had no idea who she was; turns out it was Gabrielle Anwar. Hubby and I are now big fans, mostly because we were so impressed by her attentive mothering! She was fine nursing in public if you count the pilot's wife and a couple of strangers as public.
Story#3 Our favorite episode of Mad About You, "Breastfeeding". If you ever get a chance, watch it. We were rolling on the floor laughing so hard!
Enjoy!
I would nurse my babies whenever they needed to be fed. If we were out shopping, I would find a nice bench to feed them and I always brought a blanket but my kids never wanted to be covered up. I would nurse discretely with my nipple covered but I didn't hide it. I just nursed them til they were done and didn't make a big deal of it. I did have people demand that i go to the bathroom to feed him, but I always said....WOULD YOU WANT TO EAT IN A BATHROOM STALL??? And I would tell them where to stick it--- I never flaunted my breasts or whatever-but I don't feel you should have to hide out in a bathroom stall to feed your baby. Bottle feeding moms have never been asked to do that-why should I?
M
I have absolutely no problem w/ people nursing in public. That being said, I could never do it in public because of logistics. I'm small-breasted (not much hanging down), so I'd have to have it all out there for my child to be able to nurse -- and she HATED being covered up and would get sweaty.
i have a 4 month old and a 24 month old. bf'ing in public is unavoidable because i simply cannot stay in the house all day with my toddler, and i can't force him to go with me to find a private place so i can feed his baby sister (who is a boobie FIEND lol). My family is so unphased by boobs. My mom nursed all 5 of us kids for 1+ years and we are all under 2 years apart. My 3 sisters all breastfeed, and my 2 brothers think nothing of it and even come and pat or kiss the baby's head while they're nursing. It really isn't a big deal in my family.
My husbands family, on the other hand,..it is AWKWARD CITY with them! Its him and 2 brothers, no sisters and his mom didn't nurse them. I *have* to go in the back bedroom to nurse at his parents' house. Not like they force me too, but his mom put a rocking chair, space heater and magazines for me back there for both babies (only 2 grandkids so far). And the one time i covered up and nursed her in the living room--everyone found an excuse to clear out immediately and awkwardly shuffled past me without making eye contact. They're not rude brutes, they've just never been around it before. Can't be mad at them! Its just a matter of different strokes for different folks. We are young parents (23 and 24) and none of our friends have kids yet, but the guys are just funny about it when i nurse around them. They all say it just makes them determined to have breastfed babies because they see how sweet and loving our little ones are.
I should mention that my husband could not care less about seeing me nurse. My son weaned at 17 months (when i was 5 months prego with my daughter) and he just jokes about how my boobs must be freezing from being out all the time haha
When I did BF I did it privately. One time at a wedding reception I even went into the bathroom. I just don't feel comfortable doing it in the public. Who really wants to see my flabby boob hanging out with a baby latched onto it? I personally don't care to see women doing it in public either, even covered up. When I would be shopping or what have you I would go into the dressing rooms to nurse. Some people have the "who cares what people think" attitude and some are more sensitive to their bodies. I was one who was sensitive about my own body. To each is own though.
LOL... at home I was lucky if I was even wearing a shirt for the OTHER one to be covered up!
I was really uncomfortable with my body when my son was born (doubled my weight), so the girls who had seen most of the french quarter, were covered up in public, but I definitely nursed in public.
Fairly ironically all I got were smiles in public, but the few times I went to my car to nurse there (warm, dry, comfy seats, music to play or books to read) I got glared at through the glass over and over and over, and told to "do that at home" more than once.
I get a little perky when people are jerks. So at that point, you know... the cover would just go away somehow, and the person would be told that I'm protected by law and about to call the police for being harassed and threatened with my infant in my arms. ;)
I am pregnant. I never wanted to nurse in public, but now I think I would. With having two other children, its not always an option to be at home to breastfeed. I have already bought a couple cover ups. If I do, I will make sure Im covered up and would NEVER expose myself. When its just my husband, kids, mom, or sisters, I would usually just whip it out, but if my dad or another male was present I would go in the other room.
I nursed all three of kids during the 1970s and 1980s and never understood what the hoopla was about. It was very easy to nurse even in public places and I did so discreetly and privately. I always just draped a receiving blanket over my shoulder and over the baby's face. Women who publically displayed their breasts while nursing always struck me as angry and defiant or just exhibitionists...hardly desirable states of mind while you're nursing.
I nursed both of my children whenever and wherever they needed to eat. An infant's need to nurse supersedes pretty much everything. That being said there is a way to do it. The nursing covers that are made of a lightweight material and have boning in the top are a great way to help moms that feel they need to be covered but might not want to get hot or baby isn't crazy about being completely covered.
And if you practice and baby cooperates you can nurse without a cover and without showing a thing. I did it many times. A nursing tank is your best friend in that situation.
I nursed both my kids for 16 and 20 months respectively and sometimes we covered up sometimes we didn't.
OMGosh MommaL. ! Your friend is not doing that as an act of breastfeeding. She is using breastfeeding as an excuse to be an exhibitionist. I would have to take her to the side and say something. She is what every person that says a woman should cover up uses as their excuse.
And sorry Jolenta-never nurse in public? Really? That's just not realistic. And takes breastfeeding 10 steps back. Not everyone has the funds to purchase a pump, the time to hand express, desire to lug around a bottle in ice packs or maybe they don't want their infant to have a bottle. My son was a preemie and I had to work my tail off to get him from the hospital bottles to the breast. There was a significant time I didn't dare give him a bottle for fear of going backwards. So let's be a little less judgmental about offering baby the best and easiest nutrition in public.
Didn't care who was around. My kid needed to eat... They did. I never exposed myself in public. I did in my home, but my friends and family are very open. I found it to be a good opportunity for my daugher to learn that BFing is a good thing and that she had my milk when she was a baby too. Only a few weeks after my daughter was born, my mom and I went to Home Depot for her to get an estimate on carpet. The lady walking my mom through the paperwork, my daughter got hungry. The lady didn't even blink an eye (as in, didn't even seem to take notice) when I was BFing.
I don't know... Maybe it can have to do with the culture in specific parts of the US? But I have friends that are still nursing at home and their little ones are over 2... They still don't have an issue with their toddler 'showing the goods' on accident.
I agree with a bathroom being a gross place to nurse. I sadly couldn't continue my BFing/Pumping with my son (after 8wks) because there was only one place to do so... the bathroom. Blech!
I pretty much did what you described exactly...in public I would make an effort to be off to the side in a less crowded area and I would try to stay covered...with my parents, inlaws I would nurse however I needed to and I was less concerned about staying covered, though with certian men I did make an effort...I think my mom or mil would have let me know if it was a real problem. But that isn't to say I never went out to the car, or the bathroom, or some other much more private spot..it just depended on the situation. I wore a lot of tank tops with built in support under my shirt, so I could lift my shirt as high as I needed and slide my boob out of the top of the tank top while keeping my belly and side covered and then the pulled up shirt could be adjusted around my boob on top...if you looked you def knew what was going on but a casual glance wasn't going to be a peep show :)
I want to add that NO ONE ever gave me a dirty look or hinted or out right asked that I nurse somewhere else...I feel however I nursed was appropiate enough for it to not be an issue...either that or people were scared of me :)
Hi LEAP!
I nursed all three of my kids, but I don't remember ever really needing to do it publicly. Like there was always somewhere or someway to keep it between me and the baby, you know? My kids were the first of the generation, and in the last generation nobody nursed (I mean in my family) so they were all kind of in a tizzy about it anyway.
I mean when I was sitting in the living room with my mother drinking tea, sure, I just whipped it out. But when I went to an in-law abode, forget it, upstairs in the bedroom or some other out of the way place.
Also baby #2 and baby #3 were VERY easily distracted by things going on around them, so even if I stuffed the thing down their throats publicly they'd be too interested in other things to get busy.
But, no, it doesn't not at ALL bother me to see a Mom nursing her baby, anywhere. In fact I greatly admire those who do, but I couldn't!!
:)
I breastfed wherever I was. I think part of the reason people have "issues" with this is because they didn't grow up seeing moms nurse so they are not used to it. It IS a completely normal function of life. The people who are uncomfortable with it are usually fine with beer commercials or swimsuit issues, which show more of the breast than the average nursing moms. Nursing moms aren't out to display themselves. They simply want to feed their babies. I felt I had a duty to make NIP normal and natural. Especially when children were present. I smiled and answered all their questions in the hopes they'd somehow remember that babies feed from the breast and that there's NOTHING wrong with that!
I was biggest prude ever. I nursed in lots of bathrooms. I pumped bottles as often as humanly possible. If people were over I hid in another room or nursed or pumped in the bathroom. It creeped me out when friends or family (especially FIL) assured me I could nurse in front of them. I felt like, "I know I CAN but I'd rather eat my own face". I nursed in front of the hubs occasionally but didn't like to. I have no idea why I was like this. No one put negative things in my head about it or anything, I'm all for ladies brave enough to do it in public -but I HATED being exposed in that way and preferred it to be private. For me.
Also, before having kids later in life, I really never saw anyone breastfeeding, and I'm fine with that. Maybe they were discreet and my mind was elsewhere, but not until I was nursing did I start to notice people nursing, and I think it's good not to have it in the entire population's face on a huge level.
There was one time when I was in my 20's a super "I'll whip my boob out" type was sitting in my line of sight on a plane and I thought she was hideously tacky to assume every type of person- business men, teenagers, one couple looked muslim and they don't even always show their faces- in public place would feel fine seeing her boob. I get it its' a beautiful natural necessary thing and everyone is proud to be a mom nursing, again, I did it, but there is the choice to be discreet and use a cover when you're not surrounded by your own immediate family.
I was never able to breastfeed for medical reasons but I knew many women who did! In Norway where my son was born, women just "pop" the breast out and feed. It's like the most natural thing! I thought it was beautiful that these women were so into their babies while feeding they didn't care what was showing! And the teens and men are so respectful that they made eye contact instead of sneaking a peak!
There were certain tops that had a "scarf" attached, that, when the breast came out, you could cover some or most of it without it bugging the baby. Some brought blankets and also in most places there were "BFing" corners or sections, quiet places in malls and shops where the moms could feed their little ones!
I don't have much to whip out but I try to be discreet in public. ;) I have a nursing tank that really helps me stay covered up. But I don't hide or anything.
I'm getting better about it. Before I had kids, I would be a little uncomfortable when people just whipped out their breast to feed, although I never said anything. I would just avert my eyes. When my son was born, I was so shy that I wouldn't nurse in public. Both of my kids have hated having their heads covered, and I could just never get the angle right to cover up completely. I felt like people were staring, and I know someone glared at me once or twice (they didn't make a secret about it, and I'll confess that I couldn't work the blanket or towel to cover me sufficiently - my son kept pulling it off me). I felt exposed and judged. Combined with the fact that I was struggling with nursing for other reasons, I started carrying bottles for outings.
For my daughter, I have made more of an effort, and I'm getting better about it. When I'm with my girlfriends or at home, I don't bother with covering up. Out in public, though, I try not to show more of my breast than I would be willing to in a top or bathing suit. I try, but I don't stress about it. I put on my awesome new nursing shawl that allows me to see my baby at all times, and nurse wherever I am - except the bathroom. I never have, and never will nurse in a bathroom. I'm grossed out by the thought. I don't make any efforts to find a dressing room or a private place - I'm not exposed so I see no reason to.
These days, I'm actually more embarrassed about my still-flabby tummy than I am about the breast, so I have purchased some awesome cute nursing shirts that cover the extra skin. I have (thus far) never had anyone ask me to leave or stop, and I haven't really noticed any glares. I even had a guy friend of mine ask while we were out at a restaurant why I bothered with the "ugly sheet" (in my nursing-cover's defense, I like the pattern!). He said, "Hey, it has to happen." I didn't uncover, but I felt supported. I'll confess, though, that recently I was out at a sports bar and I think I was one of the only women there, and I did feel very shy and tried to huddle in a corner and cover up as much as possible. In general, however, I've started to see my breasts in a completely different way, and I've wondered if one of these days I might forget the nursing cover because I just don't always see breasts as something that need to be covered anymore! They're just so practical, and my daughter hates having her head covered, so it would be easier without the cover. ^_^ Maybe I'll eventually reach that stage.
if i was home than i would nurse how i wanted unless there were men present i knew would be uncomfortable with it.
as far as public, i always crocheted my kids really long blankets and i would just drape them across my back and then all the way across my front so i would be covered from butt to crotch and plug my kids underneath. my son hated to be covered, so i would kind of open the top so i could look down at him, but no one else could see anything. worked just fine for me.Most people never even noticed there was a baby under there! lol.
I had a nursing cover to use in public and when other family members, outside my husband, were in our home. Nursing is a wonderful thing butbshould be done medestly.
I always did it. And I used the football hold. I bf in WalMart, Target, even our church has a little area we can breasfeed in the cry room. I covered up for me...I dont want anyone to see my boobs, but I also feel like its something completely natural and should not be shunned. Every other mammal (b/c humans are mammals) nurse out in the open. Its what our breasts were designed for. It happens naturally after you have a baby! I feel there is no need to be ashamed to feed your baby in public, its more healthy for you and the baby than putting a bottle in their mouth.
I'm a anywhere anytime nurser... and I did my best to be discrete. Once I even nursed my screaming newborn during an eye appointment. The Dr. was very nice, and said he preferred that to listening to her cry :)
J.
I have _huge_ boobs, so honestly, there was just no way to be discrete. Nursing required holding my breast in my other hand (yes, forever). So I would nurse my public if I needed to, but I would rather duck away somewhere because nursing always just felt awkward to me. I'm not even particularly modest, but I felt nursing required all my energy, I didn't want to spend the mental energy worrying about what others were thinking.
My GF whipped out her boob wherever whenever. We were all at a restaurant for my B day a few years back she laid babe on table and pulled out the boob. Some poeple at the table were surprised they were older but it didn't phase her. About 7 years ago I was working in the Home department fo a department store and a famous singer came in walked over to our bedding area sat down and began to BF her baby. Most of the people I worked with were gay men, they were nuts, but not because she was exposing her breast more so that she was BF'ing on top of about $10,000 worth of silk bedding(lol)
I'm an American currently living in the UK. My 8mo was born here. In an affort to promote breastfeeding, the UK made a low prohibiting businesses or anyone from telling a nursing mother they could not do it in public. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding for my babies, but I certainly do not judge. I was in the military and knew a lot of military mothers that didn't do it because it was so difficult to keep up with the long hours we work, but i stuck with it the best I could. I did nurse in public when I had to, but i always covered up. I wanted to respect the others around me that could be offended. I try to respect the other mom that might not want her 12yr old or husband seeing it. I'm a bit shy as well. I always tried to pick a corner or some place a little more private. With three children, sometimes I just had to whip it out where I stood but i always had a blanket or jacket with me. I do wish it wasn't such an issue. A mother should be able to do whatever is comfortable for her and her little one without being judged or someone giving them a hard time.
This was a good question. I was wondering the same. I have only seen one person nursing in a mall with out being covered. Other than that I can not recall ever seeing anyone nursing in public covered or maybe I was not paying attention. Sometime I take my 7 month old to church by myself and nurse him covered during the sermon to keep him quiet. I always kind of feel like, Is this something that is ok to do? I was not sure if it was ok to nurse in church but now I know it is fine :) thanks for asking for me.
Nursing for me was a ridiculous feat. My boobs grew 5 sizes during pregnancy and we found out 2mos after birth that my sinuses remained way back (close to my chest) when my boobs grew. So, nursing meant propping my super-small/premie baby tightly in my lap, supporting his head with one hand and manually trying to squeeze the sinus to get milk out with the other hand. Since he nursed ever 60-90 minutes for his first 5mos, I just packed alot of pumped mixed with formula if we ever went out. Had it been different, I'd gladly nurse anywhere while covered whenever it was needed!
When I was breastfeeding I would do it openly at home unless one of my husband"s guy friends came over than I would just cover up because I felt it was be rude of me not to and would make his friends uncomfortable. I did breastfeed in public covered up but I didn't cover up to make others comfortable it was more for me than anyone else. As for people who think it is wrong to breastfeed in public how would they feel if they were told they had to go somewhere like a bathroom to fed their child a bottle.
I nursed very openly at home, around family, close friends. I nursed lots in public and would either have a top that had a shield or use a blanket. But my ds liked being covered so that was an easy way to do it. I think it "should" be more accepted as it is in other countries but we are not in other countries...we are in america and unfortunately our society has been trained that the breasts can be disrespectful.
Right or wrong the looks never made me feel comfortable to let it all just "hang out" and since he was ok with the blanket there was no problems for either of us.