I'm Being Stalked by a 4.5 Year Old

Try for two or three days doing nothing but paying absolute attention to her. Carry her every where you can, when you move laundry set her on the washer (things like that)...appease her and see if she gets sick of you. This worked on my three year old (also second child)

Hey Michelle,

My shadow is only 2...LOL, I totally get how this can get to be a bit much sometimes. I find it hard to believe the moms who say they never want time alone. Seriously? Its okay to want five minutes to yourself, it doesn't make you any less of a good mom to need some time from your kids. I would just suggest that you make sure you are getting some "me" time. Even if it is just a 15 minute walk or a soak in the tub. Daddy should be able to step in and give you a break =) Kids are great, but you are your own person too and its important to be that individual at times and not completely lose yourself in the "mommy" and "wife" roles. Of course, you don't want to hurt your daughter's feelings so just be gentle about it. I don't see anything wrong with letting your little one know, "mommy just needs a few moments alone to clear her head." Suggest a book or toy for her to occupy with in her room and go sit down for five minutes. In my house we do something called "quiet time" We take out books, turn on some low music, pick a comfy blanket, and then just sit and relax. Usually about 15 minutes long. If my daughter starts asking questions, I just say nicely, "it's quiet time, no talking, read your books" Now my daughter actually tells me she is going to take some quiet time in her room! Its good for kids to learn to sit and occupy themselves at times. You don't have to be constant entertainer to them. I am not saying you shouldn't talk or play with your kids. I just find it interesting that these days it seems like some kids have to be constantly stimulated to go about their days. Like if you tell your child to go and play for a bit, you are some kind of uninvolved terrible mother. Sorry, if I am going off on a tangent here, just wanted to say that other moms occasionally wish the 1001 questions could take a five second break...and thats okay! I also like the idea of the mom who said to turn the tables and kind of follow her around for a few days, she may just ask for some privacy herself!

I laughed too at your heading! :)

I have a soon-to-be 3 yo who does not follow me around (I work and she goes to day care), but constantly comes up to me to ask what am I doing as I am paying bills on the computer or doing something else that requires concentration.

I thought about putting her in an activity, like "reading" a book or playing with a toy, and then putting a timer on. She then has to give Mommy "quiet time" as the timer is going and cannot "wake" me until it goes off.

Don't know if this will work, but I am desperate too!!

V.

Michelle,
I laughed when I read your request on the list! That is hysterical how you wrote that! My 31/2 year old son at this very moment wants to sit on my lap while I type. It is soooo frustrating to feel so needed sometimes. My older son who 6 was not so clingy. I think maybe it is a younger sibling kind of thing. My little guy follows me around too, and will not play upstairs(playroom) without me. I have to sneak out for babysitters(even husband), otherwise their is a meltdown. I will tell him hours before I leave that I am leaving. When I get home he will say, "you came home mom' and I say "I always come home". I know that taking him to preschool next year will be very interesting. My oldest son, could have cared less and basically told me to leave the first day of preschool...see ya mom! I quess one day we will miss it when they don't want anything to do with us...so we should enjoy it now! Good Luck

I just wanted to tell you that I "feel your pain". My 2 year old son all of a sudden just wants me and no one else. He screams "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over again, even when he is sitting on MY lap or when I am changing his diaper. It gets to be so bad that sometimes I have to leave him with my husband to go to the bathroom and I can hear him crying the whole time I am gone. I am 5 months pregnant with our second child and all he wants is for me to pick him up or sit on my lap, and since there is not a lot of room on my lap, he winds up sitting on the baby. Somedays I lose my temper (like today, unfortunately). I just hope it gets better soon. A friend of mine has 3 kids under 3 and the older 2 girls follow her around too. She says she rushes to the bathroom and locks the door, just to get a minute alone sometimes. I thought it might be nice to give you some stories of 2 other women who get driven nuts by their kids from time to time also. I hope this helps, and I hope things get better for you soon. :)

MIchelle

I absolutely agree that moms need a break too. Im at classes, the zoo, playplace, etc during the week everyday. Having some time to your self, even if just 20 mins can make a world of difference on your patience level. Take advantage of your hubby in the afternoons. There is no way ill come home and still do everything with a perfectly capable daddy sitting in his recliner. My breaks seems to come from going out for a quick shopping trip when he gets home from work, he makes her dinner,he does bath time, and usually does bedtime too. I usually make dinner for us and head out for a trip to the fruit market or Marshalls. She always has a separate dinner(easy) because she is very picky.
Look into escaping for a bit when you can!!
We all need it. For all the moms who cant relate...more power to you, my brain needs to shut out the ABCs every once in awhile!:)
I completely agree with Anne's post. Too funny.I feel like that is classes and playplaces... Why do i need to entertain her if there are perfectly capable toddlers running around???

I was laughing reading this,because I have an almost 5 year old who is doing the same thing.
I just asked him, if he gets paid for asking so many questions?????
I didn't feel so geat today and just wanted to be left alone, but there is my shadow,like they know exactly when you want some alone time.
You got to love them.
But I also have two teenagers,and they spend alot of time with their friends now,and I have to say,"hey I'm here,sit down,let's talk.So I guess I have become their stalker now."
Where is the balance?????

I know how you all feel. My 12 year old won't even come with me when I go out, so I miss her wanting to be near me. My 5 year old follows me from the front, trying to anticipate where I am going next. This either trips me or wears me out because I always have to stop or turn quickly. If I could just get some work done, I could spend some "quality time" with her. When I catch myself getting frustrated, I just slow down and teach her how she can help me. It isn't always done right, but maybe some day she will do it all for me so I can relax, hope hope.

I was just thinking of posting when I read about your stalker. My little stalker is almost three and she wants my attention all the time too. She is bored with Barney, isn't interested in other shows, clearly has had her fill of stickers and projects....and I'm left with being her only entertainment. I do so much with her and then there is time that i want to veg out and just watch a show. I'm trying to figure out if I need to sign her up for some afternoon activities or something. I want her to find her imagination. Her sister isn't quite old enough to play with but I'm sure when she is, my issue will be how to help them resolve their issues with playing. ughhhh. We all love our little stalkers but it's hard to know that we are everything to everyone in our families :) m

I agree with the below. I enjoy my child following me around because when there older ,we wont have those moments again. There kids, if they dont follow us, who will they follow then???are you sure your not upset about something else and taken it off with your daughter following you around?

sorry -- I can't relate at all. I love my kids following me around. Never a dull moment and I love it.