So Worried About My Daughter Starting Preschool!

Updated on August 12, 2012
B.C. asks from Arlington, TX
21 answers

My almost 5 year old will be starting private preschool 3 days a week on August 27th. She is a very high-spirited, hyperactive, colorful, yet wonderful child! She's been home with me and the daycare kids for her whole life and this is why I am putting her with them. She really needs some structure beyond what Mommy can provide at home. I'm not worried about her liking it or that it's the wrong place, but my honest concern is that her teachers will be frustrated with her and that they will treat her different than other kids.
She is a wonderful, sweet child, but can be a handful and doesn't nap. Nap is required at her school and she's SO LOUD!!! I have a hard time keeping her quiet during naptime here for the other kids. The director said that they have alternatives, etc, but I am just so worried that she'll be singled out for her hyperactivity. I work at church and I know how exhausting the hyper ones can be and I am SO ready for moms to come! Lol. I just worry for her. Anyone been in my shoes? She's such an amazing child and is the funniest kid I know, I just don't want her to be overlooked for what may be considered a misgiving.... Any advice?

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So What Happened?

I feel better now. Thanks guys. I know she'll be fine. She's just my baby and I think I'm just a little overwhelmed that she's a big girl now going to face the "world". Lol. She's been fine in gymnastics so far, so I should just sit back and enjoy it. I know she'll flourish!

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Don't worry too much. I am a preschool teacher. Kids, even ones that parents think are a handful, learn to conform to the rules. I have had sonar parents tell me over the years "she's a handful", or watch out of him". Lol kids are totally different for their teachers. Will her "personality" sneak out once in a while? Absolutely! and that's ok. Try not to worry so much, I bet she is a different kid at school. :)

9 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If this preschool is any good, the teachers should be able to handle any type of kid they get. Don't worry. A good teacher will enjoy her amazing, funny personality.

5 moms found this helpful

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Do not say a word to the teacher.

Allow your daughter to start off fresh and with no preconceived ideas from the teachers.

The high expectations for her behaviors and peer pressure are going to help model proper behaviors for her.

You will be amazed how our children really can hold it together at school.

Give her the chance to be her best.

7 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I think you shouldn't tell the teachers ANYTHING about your kid except that she's a wonderful, imaginative and bright child, and see what happens. She may surprise you with her ability to behave perfectly well at school. Kids act SO differently when they're not with their parents. I know mine act up for me way more than they do for you. They know which of my buttons they can push. :)

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

This will be a new challenge for your daughter and what I find with mine, is a new challenge wears her out!

She could be the first "high-spirited" child the school has enrolled. If it is a good school, they are educated and educated in this area. She will do fine. All you can do is give it a shot.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I know what you mean. I would recommend talking to the preschool about your concerns and staying in close communication with them. You have been with your daughter constantly until now and you know the joys and challenges of her. If her behavior isn't quite what you think it should be and you're afraid she'll be singled out by the teachers, let them know what she needs work on. If they are good teachers they'll be able to see the wonderful things about her and realize that you are a concerned and involved parent who wants your child to be successful.They will know what to do to help her. And your concerns might not even be an issue because the behavior that you are worried about may not happen with a more stimulating and age appropriate environment.
Take a deep breath... be aware, but let her go and see how she does. And if it feels wrong to you, don't trust that the preschool teachers are "professionals" and know your child better than you do. Trust your Mama instincts and be a strong advocate for what she needs.
Good luck~

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Houston on

I see your concern, but are you sure that the hyper kids you watch at your church are similar to her in that they are hyper, or are the kids at church hyper AND bad/disrespectful? Maybe THAT's why you're ready for their parents to come. I'm not trying to put words in your mouth or anything, but maybe you are categorizing them into the same group and shouldn't. Does that make sense? I will say a prayer and ask God that he gives your daughter a perfect match for her instructor, that sees in her the same wonderful things that you see in your daughter :) And remember that if it doesn't work out, or she doesn't like it, she doesn't HAVE to go! :)
And this also reminds me to pray for my own kids teacher/student match up! Thank you! :)

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

2 moms found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I have two daughters one that is quiet and follows rules. But is VERY quiet.
Then another, who is loud and drifts from the rules sometimes.

Their preschool teacher enjoyed both of them. She marveled in their differences but thought of it as a good thing. While yes my oldest was a rule follower, it took her a long time to open up in school. And while my youngest was loud she was the life of the classroom and helped other kids who were quiet and reserved feel comfortable.

I wouldn't worry about it, your teachers will be able to handle it. And I agree with others who say your child will act differently for teachers, as they usually do. Good luck!

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L.*.

answers from Chicago on

She will be fine . Kids act differently with their parents. She will be so happy to meet new friends and be a big kid. don't worry ;0)

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I would wait and see how things go since this is her first school experience. If her behavior becomes a problem, address it then. Often children behave very differently at school then they behave at home.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You do not say whether you have talked to the preschool director and her classroom teacher about your daughter. If you have not -- do so, now! Involve both the teacher (since she will handle your daughter daily) and the director (since she's the one the teacher would go to if there were issues the teacher felt needed further discussion with you). Tell them what you said here. I'm sure they have had kids like your daughter before. Ask them exactly what the "alternatives" to nap time are and how those would work--get specifics, which may do a lot to calm your fears.

Also, you refer to your daughter as hyperactive, but is that just a "she's really busy and talkative" term or is it an actual diagnosis from a doctor? Tossing that term around with a daycare provider if it's not an actual medical diagnosis could set off their alarms and they may ask you if she's seeing a doctor, if she's on medication, etc. So either way, be prepared to tell them about her lively and noisy personality, but if it's not truly "hyperactive" I'd avoid the term. I've noticed parents who use terms like "hyperactive" or "a little ADD" about their kids when their children are not medically diagnosed with such conditions and I think it muddies things for teachers and other professionals who work with the kids. Just a thought.

Ask the teacher and director what you can do at home the rest of the week to improve your daughter's ability to have a "quiet time" each day -- in fact, I'd give her a quiet time every day at the same time they do naps on preschool days. I would tell her she is not expected to nap, but needs to be in her room and quietly occupying herself without other playmates or TV or anything that makes noise. Keep it short. But it establishes a pattern that carries over from school to home and may reinforce the idea that even if you're not napping, you CAN occupy yourself quietly for a short time. It's an essential skill for kids to learn and by 5 they definitely can get the idea.

You are wise to let her do preschool! It will be good for her to be with other adults whose directions she must follow and to whom she must listen. Vital skills for kindergarten preparation!

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You're putting the cart before the horse here. My eldest daughter has ADHD and she's always been a handful from birth through now at 11 years old. She was a handful in preschool, but her teachers handled her really well because she wasn't a child that misbehaved. She wasn't mean or unmannered. Same in kindergarten and, well, every grade since. She hasn't suffered from her teachers because of being a pepperpot.

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L.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Wy areyou worried? She will be finethere isnothng to worry about. Teachers are used to handling kids.Each kid ave a different personality

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yes, Our grandson did not nap and they finally made us pick him up before nap time so the other kids could sleep. The teacher even took him for runs around the walking track, she let him go to another class where he could sit quietly with the older kids and read or do other quiet stuff.

It was very hard on me, I work several part time jobs and picking him up in the middle of the day made me lose one of them. They are what buys our groceries. It is difficult but hopefully the teacher will be able to bluff her into believing her when she says she has to lay on her own cot quietly during rest time. With all the new activity she may end up sleeping sometimes too.

They also still take a nap during the first half of kindergarten. So I always encourage moms to keep that nap, or that they keep trying to enforce it for as long as possible. Also teaching a child to sit/lay quietly for a while is a good way for their bodies to get the break it needs.

She'll be fine. Worst case scenario you'll get called to pick her up at noon for the rest of her pre-K year. Best case, she'll lay quietly and be a little angel....

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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

My daughter was actually diagnosed hyperactive, but she was okay at school. She took correction and really surprised us since she was a little toot at home.
Don't worry. She will do fine, and the teachers will likely have experience dealing with kids like her.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Well, yes, she will be singled out and the reality is she will be expected to follow the rules.

I think if you trust the school, director and teachers and show your daughter that, that they will lovingly take care of your child and train her for the classroom. Unless you have chose a preparatory preschool where they teach Chinese and cursive by age 3, most preschools know that most kids at that age ARE a handful.

My advice to you is that they will know how to handle your highstrung daughter and they will make her days with them fun and full of love.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I thought my dd was hyper but found out she's just active. She is the type of kid that is on the move all the time. At her daycare they loved her. She's a sweet girl but just loves to move. Some kids act differently at school than they do at home. I wouldn't worry too much. When you pick her up everyday just ask the teacher how her day went. They will tell you if there is a problem or not. Good luck !!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would start working with her on being quiet when other kids nap. At almost 5 she can understand that there are times to be quiet, use her indoor voice, etc. What happens if she's loud right now?

My SD was supposed to nap when she was in preschool and would get in trouble for playing with her barrettes. But she survived and they didn't kick her out. I would find out what the alternatives are and how she gets them. You may also find that in a different environment she does lay down quietly because everybody else is and she wants to be like her friends.

My DD doesn't nap, either, and we happened to choose a 1/2 day school so while she will eat lunch there, she won't nap there. But I'm wondering if she'll come home and nap because she'll be on the go all morning. I am seeing some of SD's behaviors in DD - and while she is a smart, sassy, sweet, wonderful girl, I'm already trying to rein in some of her behaviors before they are the problem they were for SD. But active can also mean willing to try, which they may appreciate.

What I want most for DD is to love school, make friends and do new things that I can't provide right now. It will be a big change for us (5 days/week because I work from home) but fingers crossed it will be good for us all.

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B.G.

answers from Springfield on

I had similar concerns about my son, but he did great and was very well liked by the teachers. He is usually very, very good about following rules at school. There is something in a child's mind that places a great distinction between what Mommy says and what the teachers say. I think it's because when they get home they have been working hard to make sure they were good and now they are happy to be home and just relax.

I think she might surprise you!

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Don't worry, my 5 yr old and 2 yr old are hyper,stubborn,wild,loud,and stuck to me like glue... But in school there angels... Not once have I ever got a complaint. Kids are usually better for anyone else but us mommy's. Also if and once she starts school and teachers have concerns or she's not concentraiting she may need more work or more challenging jobs... That's very common for hyper active kids... Runs in my family I know...

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