I was chatting with some friends today about sharing a bathroom with your spouse/signficant other. It seemed like my husband and I are in the minority (at least with my small sampling) by affording each other bathroom privacy. We don't enter the bathroom when the other is using the toilet, shower etc. It has been that way for all the years we have been together. My friends thought I was the strange one. Really?
Just curious what an unscientific Mamapedia poll might reveal about your bathroom habits.
The only reason we leave the door on the bathroom is for company. Even when we had more than one bathroom (miss that) I think a silent alarm goes off whenever anyone steps into the loo. Because 10 seconds later it's both parents, kiddo, and the dog all in that one tiny room.
My husband and I don't go into the toilet room when the other is in there and will close the door (I mean, quite honestly, who wants to see all of that anyway!), but we come in and out of the bathroom if the other person is in the shower. I don't have an issue with that, I just have no desire to see him doing his business on the toilet and vice versa.
The only time hubby or I get privacy in the bathroom is when going #2...otherwise, it's an open door policy. ;)
During #2 - too stinky! The rest of the time the door is open.
There is no privacy in my house at all. Bathroom not excluded. If you need privacy, make sure you lock the door and expect someone to be banging on the other side. :-)
My husband and I share showers, share a flush, share a sink, share a bath, and often use the bathroom as a private conference room. We kinda figured that if we're willing to mix and share body fluids to create babies, then what's the big deal about the rest of it.
But that's just us. If you and your hubby are happy with your privacy, then kudos to you. Don't change just because you're different!
Ha - My poor husband on this one. About the only time he gets to be alone in our house if he is going # 2 and even then one of the kids is usually bugging him or talking to him through the door being shut. When he showers we laugh that it is a family event. Usually I end up going upstairs to just talk to him about his day and the next thing you know both kids are up there with us as well (usually jumping on our bed or something they are not supposed to be doing, haha). We are a very open family and have no problem walking around naked if we need to (not to be read that we just walk around the house naked all the time but say someone needs to run to the basement to get clothes after getting out of the shower it isn't an issue just to go and get it).
My 2 kids are ALWAYS walking in on me going to the bathroom. I shut the door but they just open it. If it really bugged me I would lock it, but it doesn't so I don't.
When I am in the shower or bath he will come in, but he knows I like my privacy when I am using the toilet. The one thing he does that drives me crazy is he will come in when I am brushing my teeth and start peeing, every night! I do not care if he pees in front of me, but when I am brushing my teeth? really? LOL
I haven't read any of the other responses yet, but my husband and I have always been really open. We take showers together all the time =) When our daughter was a baby we used to have a huge jacuzzi tub and we would have family bath time and all just relax in there together. Now that she is 4 and we want her to understand privacy a little more, my husband does lock the door when he is using the bathroom, but I wouldn't hesitate to walk in if I needed something. My daughter still occasionally showers with me so there is pretty much zero privacy there. Basically if I am going #2 and I can get in there without my daughter following I lock the door so my husband knows not to come in, but sometimes I just go do my business and forget the door. I guess we just don't think about it much---once he saw me give birth, he pretty much saw it all, so no need for shyness anymore!
On a side note, if you are just someone that enjoys that privacy there is nothing wrong with that either. What works for me or someone else doesn't have to work for you.
My husband and I are like your friends. In fact, our master bath is laid out in a way that makes it impossible to have privacy - it opens into the master bedroom without a door. The sinks, bath, and shower are all open, and then there is a separate tiny room for the toilet (it may sound odd, but actually, it's a really nice floorplan). But even before we moved into this house, entering the bathroom while the other used it was just something we did regularly, usually without even knocking first because we rarely shut the bathroom door (unless there is stinkiness going on, and then who wants to go in? ^_^)
My hubby and I have been together for 13+ years and both require our privacy while going #2 but that is it. I would prefer to have some privacy when going #1 and usually get it but my hubby is a weirdo and sometimes enjoys watching me pee...and forget about showering by myself, he always wants to join me :)
My husband have no privacy issues when either of us are in the bathroom. Nothing is taboo. It doesn't really matter whatever were doing, we come and go as we please if the other is in there. Obviously if one of us is doing #2, we don't go in to hang out and have a chat lol but we shower together and pee in front of each other. (TMI? You asked!) The way we see it is, were just comfortable in front of each other, and since were living in a small apartment and have to share a bathroom, it's not a big deal. If you have to live with someone the rest of your life every day, you might as well do what you would normally do!
Complete opposite from us. We don't even bother with the doors! That goes for me, hubby, or kids. LOL.
Well, first of all...if I went into the bathroom when my husband was sitting on the pot I would keel over and DIE! bleh....I NEVER go in when he is going to the bathroom and he never comes in when I am. Actually, I try not to go in there for at LEAST an hour after he goes...phew.
But, if he is in the shower and I need to brush my teeth, I go in. He comes in too. I don't really see what the big deal is with that one. But hey...if it works for you and your husband, it works!
We are pretty open. He wasn't at first but I learned him! LOL If we really want provacy tho all we have to do is say so.
My husband and I came from opposite experiences in this realm, too. My family was always running around the house half dressed in the morning while we were getting read, bathroom doors were never closed, my dad read the newspaper at the kitchen table in just his underwear, etc. My husband's family was much more private. We are kind of a mix of the two extremes in our home. Whatever works for you!
People are ALWAYS walking in on me when I'm in the bathroom.
I try to allow people privacy, because it does annoy me that I can't even have a couple minutes to myself to pee or bathe, so I try to allow others that courtesy. Unless it's an emergency! LOL
If I NEED privacy, i.e. bowel movements, or period time, I lock the door. That's the only way I can assure that no one will walk in!
Edited: Ok, I have been known to call my fiance or my son into the bathroom while I'm bathing just to chat... LOL So I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite... want my privacy when I want it, but might still want company sometimes too!!! LOL
Using the toilet = privacy in my house, but showering or sink use is fair game. Honestly, if the person using the bathroom wants privacy, we lock the door!
Funny enough though, the bathroom seems to be the place where we all congregate when my husband comes home from work. He goes in to change, our kids follow him :)
My husband and I close the door and let each other have complete privacy (includes not talking through the door; his rule) when either one is on the toilet. Showering is a complete different situation. In and out of the bathroom passing the shower either can go. It would be impossible not too. The other person would have to wait to finish getting ready because the closets are on either side of the shower.
Wow you got a lot of answer on that one. It looks like most people are like my husband an I. We don't pop when the other is using the toilet, but if my hisband is in the shower and I need to put on make up, fix my hair etc. I will knock and come in. Also if I need to talk to him because we have 3 sons 16, 10, and 4 so sometimes that is the only time we are alone and awake at the same time.
I only get privacy when pooping! Other than that it is an open door for all, including kids and dog. We have some of our best conversations in the BR - weird, I know :)
I have a friend who is like you two - BR is off limits.
To each his own!
My hubby and I differ on how much privacy we'd like. He has no issues with using the bathroom with the door open (mostly when he's peeing, but sometimes....ewwwww!). I absolutely cannot "function" if the door is unlocked, let alone open. He respects my privacy issues and I frequently close the door FOR HIM because I just don't need to see ALL THAT!
One side note : because he's so used to going to the bathroom with the door open, I literally have to remind him to close it when we have people over. He's forgotten more than once (while peeing) and THANK GOD it was just his mom or sis over.
The door to our bathroom is hardly ever closed unless we have company over, or if it's a particularly lengthy or stinky #2. We'll usually warn the other to not come in if it's #2. We sometimes shower together, but if we shower separately I don't think anything of going in there while the other is showering. I hate having the door closed when I shower because it gets too hot in the bathroom and I hate to sweat after I just took a shower.
We give each other privacy when pooping, but that's about it. My hubby is a bit weird about me seeing him pee, but is always chatting with me when it's my turn (go figure). We prefer to take joint showers, if our schedules allow it and we often just hang out with each other if only one is showering. We've always kept an open door in our bathrooms. We're married, have a child and another on the way and privacy isn't important to us, unless we're making a bathroom stinky.
i tinkle in front of my husband and vice versa, we also sometimes shower together, or keep the door unlocked as in an invitation to join. If the door is locked then it is a sign either one us might need privacy. We NEVER do #2 in front of each other, or pass gas in front of the other. If my husband usies the bathroom, he will warn me to use the other one, and i return the favor. I guess you could say we are a mix. I have friends and family that have a complete open door policy, but thats just not my style
we will do #2 in private but everything else is if you want to come in feel free and we have been together for 12 years and I dont see this ever changing
After 30 years we have complete privacy in the bathroom. Occasional showers together, knock before entering, but potty time is private time. We believe in the mystique of romance, and there are some things that can destroy it.
I don't go in when my husband is using the bathroom (too stinky for this pregnant nose to handle! lol) but if he's in the shower I'll run in to get something or brush my teeth or whatever. BUT, my hubby does not feel the need to give me the same courtesy. And it's really only been since we had kids. Anytime I go to the bathroom he follows, with our son, and hangs out until I'm finished. It's kinda annoying. Or he'll come in to use the toilet while I'm brushing my teeth, which really grosses me out (the toilet's right next to the sink). Last night he actually managed to pee on my foot while I was brushing my teeth! Yuck!! I made him wash my foot off. =)
But most of the couples we know have an "open door" policy when it comes to the bathroom.
We have privacy when using the toilet... other than that, it's no big deal. we used to take almost every shower together until we had our DD... obviously not so possible any more.
we are very relaxed. We don't even close the door! Sometimes we even shower together, or one of us will use the toilet when the other is in the shower (very tight space).
If a #2 is in progress, it is definitely a NO ENTRY time :) Much more relaxed about #1 (although I still prefer to close the door.) We usually are not getting ready at the same time, so most of the time we're not even on the same floor in the house when showering, but if we need something from the bathroom while the other is showering, we do enter.
I prefer my privacy, however my husband comes barreling in at any given moment. I usually kick him out. If he had it his way, I would pull up a chair and talk to him while he uses the restroom.
Okay, the topic seems to be so good, I have to mention, a co-worker used to peek through the crack of the bathroom door while talking to you, as you pee. First of all, I prefer not holding conversations through the stall walls, but waiting outside the stall and peaking in is just too much! Someone finally taped cardboard to cover the crack. The same lady often peaks through the crack when she walks by...assuming to see who is in there. I have considered holding my fingers in a flick position right at her eye next time. That ought to take care of her.
I use to feel that privacy was utmost needed, but my husband wore me down. So we are in the bathroom while the other dresses, brushes teeth, shower, bathing, shaving, styling hair and going only number one (the toilet has its own room). Otherwise everything else is still personal.
I think a lot of the answers stem from personalities and work schedules. My dh works 3rds (so we sometimes talk while the other is in the shower) and doesn't care if the door is open for either option. I on the other hand, like the door shut for mine. With my 20 month old, though, I have to keep the door open somewhat. She will chat with me, but I don't let her in. All she wants to do is crawl on my lap and turn the light on and off...LOL. I am also trying to introduce the potty to her, even though she doesn't seem interested yet.
I love the idea of privacy, though. If you get it, I applaud you :-)
Like one mom said... my shower is my 5 minutes of quiet time!! Although I generally never get any privacy when it comes to my 4 year as he usually is in there to ask me a million questions, come to think if it so does my husband. I guess I don't think being in the bathroom to get ready or to ask a quick question while showering is a big deal for us. My husband will tinkle with the door open, as for the other function the door is closed. I use the restroom with the door closed... though I have tinkled in front of the man (we have been together for almost 11 years!). I think I do it for the privacy, but also for the quiet. As far as the potty issue goes... there is just some things that are not meant to be shared!
I can't believe how many people have a complete open door policy! Anyway, we'll go in when the other is showering but normally just to get something and head back out. I _really_ can't stand when anyone is in the room with me when I'm showering; it's my 5 minutes of privacy per day! (That's not to say we don't sometimes shower together, but in my mind intentionally showering together is different than hanging around while the other soaps up!) Going #1 or #2 door is closed. The kids walk in of course, but we don't. Toothbrushing, contacts or anything like that is fine, but actually we normally just take turns because our bathroom is tiny!
Having just finished up potty training our daughter, we have sacrificed "private" time in the bathroom but I am starting it back up. My dog always goes into the bathroom with me but at least he is quiet. I grew up in a house with one bathroom so it doesn't bother me if I am showering and someone needs to use the toilet. In that case, come on in. But now that I live in a house with two bathrooms I am putting my foot down and saying use the downstairs bathroom if I am in here (usually because I am hiding in the bathroom for a moment of peace).
Me and my current do respect each others privacy ( with the exception of running into get some quick ). But my first 2 weren't that way. I don't see anything wrong with either way I suppose it depends on the person.
Your not alone my husband and I have been together over 10 years and we still do not go in when the other is in there. I like my privacy.
This is really funny! I never thought about this before- I don't like people walking in on me when using the bathroom(unless it's when I'm in the shower- I don't mind my husband coming in- or the kids if they have an emergency need to use the restroom)
I even have anxiety dreams where I try to use a public restroom and there are no stall walls between the toilets! :)
Plus, it's the only time I get completely away from my kids- at least for a few minutes!
~C.
We enjoy our privacy! The exception is when we'regetting ready at the same time...I might put on my makeup or dry my hair while hubs is in the shower. Our bathroom is large and L-shaped so, even then, we both still have privacy.
We share the bathroom, but of course give privacy when we're going to be in there for a bit, if you get my drift!!!
Missy F... that made me laugh out loud! We are the same way, pooping we stay away, but other than that we fight over the sink when we are brushing our teeth and washing our faces at night and all of that.
I'm trying to instill privacy with my young sons, who are starting to ask questions why mommy's body is different/ but so far, they wont' stay out.
I like Laura U.
That's how it is in my house. Stinky!
Anyway, my husband was raised having his own bathroom and ultimate privacy to use it. In my house we had 1 bathroom for 5 people. I could be rolling showering, my mom peeing and my sister brushing her teeth. My dad got up early and left before anyone else got up....smart man.
Since it is important to my husband to have privacy then I always try to give it to him.
i am like tiffany - we do it all but #2. i'm not thrilled but it is what it is. after potty training our son it's pretty much all out in the open at this point!
Potty time is private time, we don't intrude on each other. If one of us is in showering, we knock and enter, that's no big deal.
I'd have to agree about using the toilet = privacy but showering is fine to use the bathroom.....just for fun if you are interested, here are some questions/polls about "bathroom etiquette" - pretty interesting questions and results:
http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/bathroom?utm_campaig...
That's the way we are, too.
My husband and I never walk in on each other showering and especially not when using the bathroom. He wouldn't mind if I walked in on him, but I am a more private person and would not want him walking in on me going to the bathroom, the shower isn't a big deal to me though, he just doesn't. Maybe things would be different if we only had one bathroom though, we have 3 so there is always another bathroom we can go use if we need to.
My husband is the youngest of his family and has always had his privacy in the bathroom. I am the oldest of 9 and mother of 5 so I don't think I have ever had any privacy - I didn't even know what toothbrush was mine until I moved away from home, so it doesn't really bother me.
my husband and i walk in on each other all the time. either he needs to go #1 when i'm in the shower or vice versa. and yes, we always peek when one of us is in the shower. but for number 2 we keep it private. totally normal i think
If someone is in the shower or doing a #1 (lol) the doors stay open. #2s and "lady business" (as the hubby calls it) calls for closed doors! I'm sure this will change as our dd gets older. she's 9 mths now and i've noticed the hubby is starting to not walk around naked or in his undies anymore because he doesn't want her to see him.
I will do my hair and makeup sometimes while my husband is in the shower if we are getting ready to go somewhere but we don't use the bathroom with the other one in there. Not to say it's never happened (well, never #2 for sure!). We have three bathrooms in the house, I just go to the another one if I need to go. I don't think you're strange at all! :)
We give each other privacy, but if we have a question or need to use it, we usually allow each person to come in. It depends on the way your bathroom is built. Some bathrooms allow one person to pee/poop while the other take a shower/bath.
When our bathroom was closed off and we could shut the door we'd have privacy. Our house now is set up to where we have an arch way between our bedroom and bathroom and no door, so we're in and out and talking to each other. It took some getting used to...LOL But I like it! =)
That is my preference. Our toilet is open, not in a closet like some homes.
Hubby came to talk to me while i was on the toilet. I finally told him he must wait. I can't stand it really. Our bedroom has no door seperating the bathroom. I am seriously considering getting someone to add a wall and door because I hate this lack of privacy, even if it means shrinking the closet.
wow, i never thought to discuss this.
we give each other privacy for toileting, sometimes popping in to grab a hairbrush or somethign while one of us is in the shower. otherwise it is a solo endaver, wish my kids thought the same.
my bff is not married but lives w/ her boyfriend for a while now and she will NOT poop if he is home!!! she will actually hold it until he leaves. I dont know how she does it!!!! she freaks when I tell her that there is NO privacy here, esp. now that I have an almost 2 year old that joins in on the 'potty party'
lol...This made me laugh...don't know why. My husband and I shower together as often as we can (we conisder that a treat).
We are a privacy household. We only have one bathroom on our main floor, but we do not go into the bathroom when the other is in there. Except with the occassional shower and emergency pee!
My husband and I have a very strict policy about not entering the bathroom when the other is going to the bathroom (#1 or #2). However, our house is tiny and we get ready for work at the same time, so we do go in while the other is showering. We both enjoy the view when the other is getting out though, so we don't mind. ;)
I have been married almost 15 years and my husband and I have never seen the other use the bathroom. My husband is the one who likes it this way...it wouldn't bother me too much...but it is his comfort zone.
Showers are another story...I always knock if he is in there (we always knock on closed doors) and then will go in and brush my teeth or ask him a question...even jump in with...but never to use the toilet.
You guys aren't weird it is just what works for you.
When we first got married the bathroom door would be locked when one of us was in there regardless of the reason.
Now, after 8 kids and 37 years of marriage, the door is seldom closed. I only close, not lock, the door when I'm taking a shower, not for privacy, but to keep the heat and humidity in. When I get dried off I open the door to let the bathroom dry out and cool off.
Thanks for the interesting question and interesting responces.
Great question and interesting answers!
I grew up in an open door household, so it's what I am used to. So much that even as a teenager, my mom would come in and talk to me when I showered so we could talk about our days-we're just that close. My husband on the other hand grew up in a locked door household. But, we attended college together and practically lived in one another's dorm rooms and just got comfortable being comfortable. Our home is relaxed and open door. We don't seek each other out when we're doing our business, but everyone is usually in the same room, pets included!
Our son is 2 and bathes with one or the other of us quite often and follows us both to the bathroom. I think when kids are little though, they're going to follow you around anyway and it's a great way to introduce potty training. I think it's possible to raise kids that aren't prudish or embarrassed about normal human bathroom behavior or anatomy, but also maintain appropriate boundaries and privacy when it's wanted or needed.
I do not mind popping in when he is in the shower to talk to him but after 11 years together we still give each other privacy when we are "using the toilet" he Might knock on the door and ask me a question through the door, or he might bring me the phone if it is my mom needing me, but some privacy is not a bad thing. Having said that I grew up talking to my mom while she was in the bath and my kids come in ( at least my daughter and 3 year old do ) I would probably flip out if my teenage son came in w/o knocking!!! We do not allow locked doors, it is an expected courtesy to knock.
I've been married for 10 years and we've lived together for 12 years. We don't go in the bathroom if the other is using the toilet. But showering we go in to brush, make-up, hair, that kind of thing. Also we let the kids in while one is showering if it's a bathroom emergency.
I've been married for almost 20 years this February and my husband and I prefer our privacy when using the bathroom but like many others here, one can be showering while the other is getting ready with make-up, shaving, etc. Our masterbathroom really affords the potty privacy since we have the toilet in a separate water closet that is too small for two people to be in at once so that's a non-issue :-)
Using the toilet is usually a private endeavor, especially and always w/ #2. However, that being said we've been known to use the toilet for # 1 in an emergency while the other is in the shower w/ the disclaimer "no peeking". Showering, it's open season. Conversations have been had while one is in the shower the other sitting on the toilet clipping toe nails or shaving or brushing teeth. No problem, not like we haven't seen each other naked a thousand times before.
OMG, we have been married 20 years and would never enter the bathroom while the other was using it. Seeing each other using the toilet is not an act of intimacy and isn't anything anyone needs to see. If we were in the shower and the other needed urgently to get something from the bathroom and could not wait, that would be fine - we wouldn't need to use the bathroom with the other in there as we are 4 people with 3 bathrooms and usually one is available. I can't see why anyone would need to go into the bathroom when someone else is "going"
I don't think it's weird at all...my hubby and I will share the bathroom if we are both getting ready at the same time to go somewhere, as in one of us is in the shower and the other is at the sink, but we keep it private for using the toilet. Still want to keep the romance alive!
