I Want Another Baby but I Dont Think He Does....

I saw that you have 6 month old twins...he probably can't think past this baby stage...and it may make him nervous to discuss it and think there is a chance you'll have twins again. Wait a few months or a year until they are out of the 'baby' stage and revisit the conversation.

Ummm...I was like you, really, really, REALLY wanted just 1 more baby & hubs was dead set against it, but the difference is he had reasons that were valid & he was willing to discuss with me. He grew up in a home with too many kids for the amount of money that was coming in & said that he never wanted to put our kids in the same situation. Now, that doesn't mean if we decided to have a 3rd that WOULD have happened, but the possibility is always there I suppose.

The bottom line is this: if for whatever reason, both parents don't want the extra child, don't have the extra child. Try to imagine if the shoe was on the other foot just like a post I read earlier where the mom was perfectly happy with the 2 kids they had & didn't feel like she could emotionally or financially handle a 3rd (and taking into consideration that she would be the one carrying & delivering said 3rd child), but her hubs told her if he'd known she only wanted 2 he wouldn't have married her! Kind of puts your situation into perspective, in my humble opinion.

Sorry, but when one wants kids (or more kids) and the other doesn't, the "No" vote wins by default.

I say have a talk again...share all your honest feelings...really let him know how much this means to you and just ask him to think about it...then leave it be. That's all you really can do, sorry. Hopefully he will come around/

~When hubby and I had our 2nd, we both thought we were done...after a while I told hubby I was thinking about adding a 3rd, which was a big deal (we both come from a long line of only 2 siblings) because for us and our families having 3 kids constitutes having a BIG family :) At first hubby was a little shocked and said he didn't think it was a good idea...then after awhile he came to me and said he never even considered having 3 but after he thought about it he felt we could handle it and maybe we should go for it? By that time I was a little unsure because I thought he was so against it. We gave it some time...then when the time came that our 3rd child would be 2 years apart from our 2nd child (we like our kids 2 years apart, its how both of us and each of our 1 other siblings are) we had another talk...decided to throw it to the universe and stopped the BC and agreed we would both be happy with whatever came of it. FYI, having our 3rd was our best decision ever, she totally completes our family and we can not even imagine our life without her! After she was born, I got my tubes tied because we were both in 100% agreement that we were DONE at 3!!

So...talk with the hubby, don't be mean or pushy...and be open minded and respectful of his opinions as well, and tell him that too, remind him that you could not even consider having another child unless he was on board and in agreement! Maybe he will come around?

Good Luck and Best Wishes!

my hubby didn't want more until the kids got older...Give some time to adjust to having two very young children then bring it up again. No rush. You are still young and have lots of time :)

I would really encourage you not to talk to your husband about having more kids right now. With your babies still requiring so much and your husband receiving so much less of your attention and time than he did prior to the twins, the last thing he might want to do is add to complicate the situation by adding more children. I encourage you not to press him for a decision on the subject, but just let it go and be content with your healthy babies. Medical research has shown us that having babies too close together leads to complications such as preterm labor/birth, low birthweight, preeclampsia, etc in the subsequent pregnancy. Current recommendation is to wait 18 months after giving birth to try to conceive again. A lot can change in a year. My husband did not want to even consider having more children after our first (she had difficulty eating and sleeping), but by the time she turned 2 we were both excited about trying again. We now have 3 and are very content. Don't rush life or your husband. Enjoy the moment for it passes all too quickly. R., nurse midwife Mom of 3

You have 6 month old twins! He probably is still in shock over the twin factor! Give it some time and then bring it up. Right now he may feel like he's drowning and be totally overwhelmed or that you two will never hit your stride again, but you will. I honestly wouldn't bring it up until they're 2 -maybe 18 months if that early. You say you have time age-wise, so just wait a bit. For yourself, you may really want to wait until the twins are fully mobile and going through phases like teething, terrible twos, self-feeding, potty training, etc. before deciding on more children, how many more children and when as well. When he hears you say things about another baby, he's probably thinking you want to get pregnant right now and that's probably not appealing to him at all at the moment. Just wait awhile!

NO... I can't think of a way. My husband went from "No bio children for him" - since I had a child from a previous relationship and said she was enough. We were dating at that point. I told him he had a year to change his mind - because no more kids was a deal breaker for me. Next year it moved up to "If it happens it happens". Towards end of year 3 dating - we got married, the next month I found out I was 3 months pregnant... he at first was in shock, dismay and didn't believe it. By the next week he was so excited he was telling everyone.

Sometimes it just has to happen before any good feelings come from it.

I went through a similar stage when my twins were six months old. It will pass. You've just got over the newborn hurdle and are feeling pretty good. You've managed to handle two babies, what's one more, right? Please wait another eight or nine months before making the decision to try for another baby. It gets harder again.

I've known parents of twins who had three under three and it's hard! The ones that do have more kids tend to wait until the twins are at least three years old before they add another baby to the mix. Your husband's response is COMPLETELY understandable!! My husband was the same way. It's only recently that we've even considered that we may want to have another one in the next few years. And honestly, with two very active, nursing 14-month-olds, I don't think I'll be ready for another one until these two are able to feed, dress and potty themselves.

We had 2 girls and my husband was 100% happy and done. And I thought I was too.....but then I started to want another one. After *many* discussions I asked him to give it just ONE month. If I didn't get pregnant in that month then I'd take it as 'not meant to be' and leave it alone. I did after all have 2 healthy, beautiful little girls already. Well, 9 months later I delivered our third healthy, beautiful little girl. She was absolutely meant to be and fills a void in our family we never even knew was there.

BUT, I think your husband has to be willing. Mine couldn't be happier about our three girls, but had he REALLY not wanted another he wouldn't have agreed to try and I wouldn't have pushed. I wouldn't have wanted a child HE didn't want and might resent. It wouldn't have been worth it to me.

You need to figure out *why* you want more so badly and tell him those reasons, calmly and when the two of you can sit down and really focus on the conversation. Tell him you'd like to know his reasons against another baby - and REALLY listen to them. Just because you're the one that carries the baby doesn't make his wants any less valid. You're partners and need to come to a decision together.

Don't have suggestions on how to get him to talk about it...but...I believe a "no" gets to win the battle. you don't want a child born who might be resented. BUT...in my formula...mommy's vote counts twice! ;-)